BIOBaby: Held Hostage

I’m not one of those Moms that never has a bad thing to say about motherhood because I think doing so somehow makes me a bad Mom. I’m all about keeping it real. And on the realness, some aspects of motherhood, like everything else in life, sucks.

So, allow me to vent a bit about an aspect of breastfeeding that is wearing on my already-frayed nerves. Oh, and before you all go getting your lactating panties in a bunch, I realize that this is probably a small problem and one of my own making. I take full responsibility, but I get to vent because it’s my website and that’s how I roll.

Laying down nursing and co-sleeping are a dream for a lazy ass like me, but there are times where I feel held hostage by the routine I’ve nurtured. Take the other morning for instance. Saturday morning I woke up bright and early, but could not leave the bed because Jack was still sleeping. I thought about having Donny come upstairs and stay with him so that I could maybe take a shower, have a cup of coffee, workout, etc., but then I heard the lawnmower start and knew that Donny was busy.

But even if he wasn’t, Donny wouldn’t have been able to offer up the boob like I could any time Jack stirred. That has become the routine. Jack sleeps through the night, but some nights he stirs and will pull at my nightshirt until I whip one out and let him suckle himself back to sleep. I cannot move until he’s done and being done isn’t always so easy to determine. Just cause he stops sucking, doesn’t mean he’s finished. If I go to remove it, he suddenly cups the boob with both hands and start sucking away like, “Where do you think you’re going?”

Usually, it’s a double-edged sword because I don’t want to lie there for an hour so being a human pacifier, but I also don’t want to do anything to wake him up because 1. he needs his sleep and 2. when he’s sleep and I finally pry myself away, I might be able to actually get shit done.

Last night we moved the pack-n-play right next to our bed and Donny lowered the mattress. We tried putting him in there, but he woke up both times and looked at us like, “Um, no. I belong up there with you two and don’t even think about tryna get busy because I don’t need any other siblings.”

Yes, Jack is a cockblocker.

He’ll be ten months old in two days and I planned on nursing for 18 months, but now I’m thinking, “hell to the naw!” Eight more months is a really long time. That’s a whole ‘nother pregnancy.

Also, I kinda want my boobs back. They’ve become family entertainment. Last night I was sitting on the couch wearing a nursing nightgown. Jack crawled up into my lap and started tugging at it. I pulled out a booby and instead of him laying my lap in the cradle position, he faced me and rested on his knees. Then, with the boob still in his mouth, he stood and plopped back down on his knees blowing air out of his mouth as he went. This resulted in a farting noise.

Donny and Kali laughed. Ever the ham, and realizing he was on to something, Jack continued to do it over and over again. They all laughed, including Jack. You ever see a baby laugh with a titty in his mouth? It’s pretty damn cute.

But that’s not the point. The point is that I’m wondering if one year might be my stopping point. I’m trying to gauge what feels right for both Jack and I. As I type this, he’s in my lap, sucking away and sleeping. It’s beautiful and makes me think that 8 months ain’t so long after all.

Now to the good stuff. Pictures and videos!

Jack ripped up my $20 game guide for Animal Crossing so I had to get another one. He’s now allowed to rip the old one to shreds if he desires. What does he do? Turns the pages like a civilized reader!

Still with the tongue

The below video is kinda dark, but I didn’t want to risk moving to turn on the light and then he’d stop “reading” the book.

“Reading” with better light