Top Ten Most Anticipated TV in 2010

10. Damages

OK, sure season 2 was a mess of convoluted plot involving a bribed judge, a double-crossing FBI investigation, and a cokehead stabbing Patty(Glenn Close) in an elevator, but I have high hopes that season 3 of Damages will return to the glory that was the amazing, thought-provoking, twists and turns of season 1.

Damages returns to FX on January 25th.

9. Jeff and the other chick on The Amazing Race

Last season’s winner of Big Brother, whatsherface, will be joining the cast of globe trotting contestants on the next season of The Amazing Race. But the big news is that her racing partner is none other than the ubersexy, Jeff, who you may remember was her (OK, fine. Her name is Jordan) showmance in the BB house.

I cannot wait to see him jetsetting for the million bucks. Preferably shirtless. Here’s to hoping the producers have come up with lots of hot locales to ensure maximum topless Jeff moments. I’m just saying.

8. Southland returns on TNT

I don’t know who’s in charge over at NBC, but it must be run by morons. They consistently cancel awesome shows like Journeyman, Life and Scrubs. Then they let a gem like Medium get swept up by the good people at CBS to make room for five nights of the chronically unfunny Jay Leno at 10pm.

Thankfully, cooler heads prevail over at TNT and they’ve given new life to the gritty police drama Southland. The season finale was a jaw-dropper so thank the TV gods that TNT will pick up the show so we can see how it all plays out.

7. Stargate: SGU

Thanks to my friend Cathy sending me all ten seasons of Stargate: SG1, I have another sci-fi franchise to add to my must-see list. I’m currently starting season 2 of Stargate: Atlantis, but couldn’t wait to get through all five seasons of that before diving into Stargate Universe which premiered on SyFy last fall.

SGU follows a band of military personnel, scientists, and civilians trapped on a spaceship built by The Ancients who developed the stargates as they try to figure out a way back to Earth.

Some of my fellow Stargate fans complain that SGU is more Battlestar Galactica than Stargatey, but that’s okay with me. I love the dark sets, mental manipulations, and catastrophes of the week plots.

6. The final episodes of Nip/Tuck

Tonight FX kicks off the final nine episodes of Nip/Tuck. Even though I can admit that the show has been bordering on very cheesy and plain-ass ridiculous for at least two seasons now, I am sorry to see it go. I will watch tonight, and for the next eight weeks, and begin my goodbyes to the sexy, super rich, but morally bankrupt doctors of McNamara/Troy.

5. V

We were teased with four episodes of the remake of the 80′s cult hit V. There were holes like, how the hell did the Vs manage to just drop off sleeper agents without anyone noticing? I mean, it’s not like dropping someone off at a bus stop. But overall, I’m hooked.

It just went back into production in January, so I’m not sure when the new epis will air. I’ll be there whenever that might be.

4. 24 in NYC

Two of my favorite things will be mixing it up on FOX: Jack Bauer and New York City.

Two words: Hells.Yeah!

24 returns on January 17th.

3. Caprica

Caprica, the Battlestar Galactica prequel, tells how the Cylons (at least the Cylons of the 12 colonies of the series) came to be. The pilot was available on DVD last spring and I’ve been waiting like a crackhead ever since.

Caprica premieres on SyFy on January 22nd. Read my Caprica review here.

2. GLEE!

My new favorite show returns… in APRIL! I know! What the hell? We have such a long wait, but no doubt it will be worth it.

What will Quinn do now that everyone knows Puck is the father of her baby? What will happen with the new Shuster/Pillsbury romance? Will Rachel and Finn hook up now that he’s free? Will they please give Kurt more airtime and can we get a full hour dedicated to the awesomeness that is Sue Sylvester?

1. LOST

Come on, now. You knew this would be number one. The final season of Lost begins February 2nd .

SPOILER ALERT:

We’ve met Jacob and the creepy guy that has been trying to kill him since, like, forever. Creepy guy had apparently taken over Locke, who has really been dead all this time, and used him and Ben to finally get to Jacob. There was lots of time traveling and time shifting which led to a big-ass gun fight and Juliet falling down a shaft. Oh, and we got to see the smoke monster kick more ass.

I’m looking forward to all of my questions of the past five years being answered. That’s right. All 1384 of them!

What are you looking forward to? What shows do you miss the most?

Nina’s Big Ass Fall TV Blog – Premiere Dates and Previews

My longtime readers know that around this time I’ve already made my TiVo spreadsheet. That’s right. With three TiVos (four if you count Kali’s), I need a spreadsheet to plot out which shows will make the cut… and to ensure I don’t miss anything.

Here’s the breakdown on when the new shows premiere as well as when you can expect to see your favorites returning.

Tuesday September 8th

• 90210 (CW)
• Melrose Place (CW)
• Sons of Anarchy (FX)

I love that the people behind Melrose Place are telling you upfront that you can expect more of the same bed-hopping that made the original so successful by declaring, “Tuesday is the new humpday” in MP promos. Classy!

And not even the casting of Ashley Simpson-Wentz (yes, Jessica’s little sis) can keep me from checking it out. Don’t judge me! I’m just excited that they’ve also cast some people of color.

And, old favorites!

Wednesday, September 9th

• America’s Next Top Model (CW)
• So You Think You Can Dance (FOX)
• Glee (FOX)

If you follow me on Twitter (@neenerspb) you know I’ve been raving about this show since FOX aired the pilot sneak peek in April. Since a sassy black woman is just a dickswing away from being a gay white man, it goes without saying that this show about high school misfits who hope to put their glee club on the map is right up my alley!

And if that’s not enough, they cover Kanye’s, “Gold Digger!”

Thursday, September 10

• Vampire Diaries (CW)
• Supernatural (CW)

If you go to the CW’s site and read the synopsis for Vampire Diaries, you’ll get a headache. Whoever wrote that sucks. It’s pretty much about two fine ass vampire brothers who move to a town and have all the little high school girls atwitter. You know after the big Twilight buzz last year, this show was inevitable. It is also based on a series of vampire books.

Monday, September 14th

• One Tree Hill (CW)
• Gossip Girl (CW)

Thursday, September 17th

• Survivor (CBS)
• Bones (FOX)
• Fringe (FOX)
• The Office (NBC)
• It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)

Monday, September 21st

• Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
• House (FOX)
• How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
• Heroes (NBC)
• Big Bang Theory (CBS)
• CSI: Miami (CBS)
• Accidentally on Purpose (CBS)
• Two and a Half Men (CBS)

Tuesday, September 22

• NCIS (CBS)
• NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)
• The Good Wife (CBS)
• The Forgotten (ABC)

I’m checking out both The Good Wife and The Forgotten.  I’m curious to see this “wife of a cheating politician” storyline played out though I understand it’s not completely what TGW is about, and after NBC canceled My Own Worst Enemy, I want to see Christian Slater on the small screen again.

And yes, L.L. was enough to make add NCIS: Los Angeles to my list.

Wednesday, September 23

• The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)
• Mercy (NBC)
• Criminal Minds (CBS)
• Law and Order: SVU (NBC)
• Cougar Town (ABC)
• CSI: NY (CBS)
• Eastwick (ABC)

It seems that any movie that made even a $10 profit will eventually be made into a television show. This year, we get Eastwick – a remake of The Witches of Eastwick starring Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfieffer, Cher, and Susan Sarandon.

Each fall, Donny and I try to predict which of the new shows will have the dubious honor of being canceled first. Donny correctly picked FOX’s Do Not Disturb (I know. Google it.) last year. This year, I think I’m gonna put my money on Eastwick. Even though it made my TiVo list.

I’m super excited for the return of Criminal Minds as one of the key players was found themselves staring down the barrel of a gun as the finale faded to black last spring. Do not watch clip below if you haven’t seen the finale yet.

Thursday, September 24

• Flash Forward (ABC)
• CSI (CBS)
• Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
• The Mentalist (CBS)

Every since the success of Lost, each season, ABC tries to find another supernatural drama to catch on. Invasion, Daybreak, The Nine… none of them do. This year’s attempt looks promising. For a few moments, everyone in the world blacks out at the same time. Even more mysterious than why it happened, is what happened while they were out – they saw six months into their futures.

I am dying (no pun intended) to see Grey’s Anatomy’s premiere. How I could I not be? The finale was awesome. Even though in this day and age it’s impossible to keep casting secrets, I’m still going to cry my eyes out once George dies. *sob*

Friday, September 25

• Ghost Whisperer (CBS)
• Smallville (CW)
• Law and Order (NBC)
• Medium (CBS)
• Dollhouse (FOX)

I am quite pleased that after NBC canceled Medium, CBS had the good sense to pick it up. Not only have they been airing episodes this summer to give new viewers a chance to get to know the show, but they’re also starting it in the fall with a full 22-episode run. Something that NBC never did. What do you expect from the network giving up on 10pm dramas to air the unfunny Jay Leno five nights a week in their stead?

Sunday, September 27

• The Amazing Race (CBS)
• Family Guy (FOX)
• The Cleveland Show
• Desperate Housewives (ABC)
• Dexter (SHO)
• Cold Case (CBS)
• Californication (SHO)
• Brothers & Sisters (ABC)

We’re most excited about Dexter and The Amazing Race in this house. Donny already has his couple picked to win TAR; the interracial couple. Here’s a sneak peek at Dexter season 4:

Monday, September 28

• Trauma (NBC)
• Lie to Me (FOX)

Shows Starting in October:

• Ugly Betty (ABC)
• Southland (NBC)
• Private Practice (ABC)
• Stargate Universe
• 30 Rock

Shows Starting Later:

• V
• 24
• Lost

Here is my Three Tivo Fall Schedule:

Sundays

8pm – The Amazing Race

9pm – Desperate Housewives, Dexter

10pm – Cold Case

Monday

8pm – Heroes

9pm – Trauma

Tuesday

8pm – So You Think You Can Dance

9pm – NCIS: Los Angeles, Melrose Place

10pm – The Good Wife, The Forgotten

Wednesday

8pm – So You Think You Can Dance

9pm – Criminal Minds, Glee, Law and Order: SVU

10pm – Eastwick

Thursday

8pm – Survivor, Flash Forward, Vampire Diaries

9pm – Grey’s Anatomy, Supernatural, CSI, Bones

10pm – Private Practice, The Mentalist

Friday

8pm – Smallville

9pm – Ugly Betty, Southland, Medium

So, what shows are you most looking forward to? Also, I have quite a few empty slots. What should I be watching that I’m not? What’s your favorite returning show and what show are you going to miss that didn’t get pick up this year?

The Amazing Race 14: Recaps To Finale

Previously on The Amazing Race – Our Parents Will Cry Themselves to Death”: Luke made a bitchass move and pushed one of the sistahs so she called him a bitch. He didn’t hear it, but his Mama told him and then it was on! At the pit stop, Margie lost her shit when she thought Kisha was laughing at Luke because he’s deaf. Oh, and the shorty-do-wops were eliminated. Finally!

Previously on The Amazing Race- “Having a Baby’s Gotta Be Easier Than This”: The teams get foot massages from hell in China and Jen provides this season’s reality show stereotype – black folks can’t swim. The episode ends with a cliffhanger as the first team to the pit stop finds out that the leg of the race is still going.

Previously on The Amazing Race – “He Made Me Look Like Alice Cooper”: The race continues. The teams have to eat gross stuff like fried starfish. I just studied starfish anatomy in biology and I know what their gonads look like. I wouldn’t have eaten it. Just sayin’. Victor and Tammy use the final U-Turn on Kisha and Jen… but that doesn’t cause them to lose the race. Jen stopping to pee when she knew there was another team behind them is what cost them the race. I want to kick her in the teeth.

For one million bucks you PISS YOUR PANTS!

My two picks to win are out. Donny’s pick, Tammy and Victor, are still in. The finale is up next.

The final three teams fly to Hawaii where they have to season, carry, and then prep a pig for a luau. Tammy struggles carrying the pig. I never understand people that can’t suck it up doing the painful things. Maybe it’s because I’ve been through labor twice. Maybe it’s because I really like money. Either way, I want to drop-kick Tammy into the ocean every time she drops the pig and cries.

Margie and Luke finish first and take off for their next clue… on a water scooter… bike… thingie. Then they race to a highway with a fence made of surfboard. One team member has to put the surfboards in order of tasks they completed/places they visited. Luke starts off doing it really well as he’s been prepping for it the entire game.

Jaime and Cara get lost… again. Their cabbie gets on the phone to ask for help. Tammy and Victor get stuck behind a slow car. Meanwhile, Luke is flying through the surfboards. The person the cabbie called for help is on speakerphone and doesn’t appreciate Jaime’s nasty attitude. She, finally, puts her in her damn place! Leave it to an American to tell that bitch where to go.

Luke has a great head start, but the other two teams catch up. He can’t figure out the last two boards, Jaime can’t figure out the first, Victor smokes them all. Tammy and Victor leave for the finish line and the remaining two teams work together to finish the puzzle.

Tammy and Victor win! And even though Donny will never shut up about predicting the winners from episode one, I am happy they won because I hated those remaining two teams.

The Amazing Race 14: “Rooting Around in People’s Mouths Could Be Unpleasant”

Previously on The Amazing Race: In Thailand the teams let elephants crouch over them because they’re crazy. The tiny stuntmen had two penalties for being sneaky and stupid. Margie fainted just to swoon in Phil’s sexy arms, and one of the redheads was a bitch. The father/son team were eliminated from the race.

And now…

Teams have to fly to Bangkok. Victor and Tammy leave first. Jaime and Cara are next. They insult cabbies. Mark and Michael are next. The sistahs leave last. Or maybe Margie and Luke are last. I forget.

Once in Bangkok, Kisha and Jen get a cab driver that has no idea where he’s going. They lose time because of it. For some reason, Mark and Michael’s cabbie has a pink steering wheel.

Roadblock! – Teams have to secure a propeller to a boat. Sounds easy, but it’s not.

Margie and Luke start first and Jamie and Cara are next. Margie does it quickly. (Maybe it is easy) She and Luke leave to navigate their boat through the Bangkok canals. Tammy and Victor and the shorty-do-wops arrive next. Kisha and Jen are nowhere to be found.

Jamie is rude to more people. When she and Cara realize that the boat ride isn’t a return one, they turn around, run to their cabbie to pay and get their bags. They take off on the boat again. The shorties leave w/o going back for their bags.

Kisha and Jen arrive and leave before Tammy and Victor. They leave their bags and shoes behind. Victor was cleared to go, but the propeller doesn’t work. They have to go back. He tightens it and they’re off again. They are smart enough to have their driver stop for their belongings first. Margie and Luke are in first place.

Jen is salty at Kisha for leaving their fanny packs, but Kisha assumes they’ll make their way back there eventually.

Detour – either search through dentures for five patients (GROSS!) or sing along in a karoake taxi and run the risk of hitting Bangkok traffic.

Margie and Luke choose the teeth. Jaime and Cara choose karoake. Kisha is walking around Bangkok barefoot. (GROSS!) Tammy and Victor choose karoake.

Margie and Luke do the nasty ass teeth mission. They stick dentures in people’s mouths and I resist the urge to vomit.

Mark and Michael argue about whether or not that they should go for their bags.

Kisha and Jen and Jaime and Cara start the karaoke task at the same time. Tammy and Victor start it too. Tammy calls their cab mates, “Mai Tai Trannies.”

Margie and Luke are going through the teeth challenge quickly. The tiny guys are still arguing even after they get a cabbie to take them back to their bags.  Margie and Luke finish and are in first place. Tammy, Victor, Jaime, Cara, Kisha, and Jen continue to rock out with the trannies’ cocks out.

Margie and Luke come in first place. Kisha and Jen cannot go to the pit stop because they don’t have their bags or money. Mark and Michael make it back to their stuff and then have to head back to the detour. Kisha and Jen convince a cabbie to take them to the pit stop for free.

Kisha and Jen are third, and Tammy and Victor are fourth. Phil won’t check the sistahs in until they go get their travel documents. Duh! They have to go back and I swear it looks like they’re about to cry.

The tiny stuntmen finally arrive at the karoake detour and have to give the cabbie crap from their bags in order to pay for the fare because they’re short…. AND they don’t have enough money. *snort*

In the cab, they comment that the girls are pretty. I don’t think they know that they’re trannies. One comments that they’re in the entertainement business so they know how to show girls a good time. LMAO!

The stuntmen arrive fourth, but can’t be checked in because they broke a rule TWICE by using their personal items to settle a bill. The total penalty time is four hours!

Kisha and Jen are fourth.

Mark and Michael are last, BUT it’s a non-elimination leg. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

The remaining three hours for their penalty is tacked on to delay their start time AND they have to perform a Speed Bump in the next leg that no one else has to.

One remarks, “We knew we messed up, but we thought it more important to take care of the people. We didn’t want to incur bad karma in the land of Buddha.”

Phil gives him a look that says, “Nigga, please.”