The Amazing Race 14: “Rooting Around in People’s Mouths Could Be Unpleasant”

Previously on The Amazing Race: In Thailand the teams let elephants crouch over them because they’re crazy. The tiny stuntmen had two penalties for being sneaky and stupid. Margie fainted just to swoon in Phil’s sexy arms, and one of the redheads was a bitch. The father/son team were eliminated from the race.

And now…

Teams have to fly to Bangkok. Victor and Tammy leave first. Jaime and Cara are next. They insult cabbies. Mark and Michael are next. The sistahs leave last. Or maybe Margie and Luke are last. I forget.

Once in Bangkok, Kisha and Jen get a cab driver that has no idea where he’s going. They lose time because of it. For some reason, Mark and Michael’s cabbie has a pink steering wheel.

Roadblock! – Teams have to secure a propeller to a boat. Sounds easy, but it’s not.

Margie and Luke start first and Jamie and Cara are next. Margie does it quickly. (Maybe it is easy) She and Luke leave to navigate their boat through the Bangkok canals. Tammy and Victor and the shorty-do-wops arrive next. Kisha and Jen are nowhere to be found.

Jamie is rude to more people. When she and Cara realize that the boat ride isn’t a return one, they turn around, run to their cabbie to pay and get their bags. They take off on the boat again. The shorties leave w/o going back for their bags.

Kisha and Jen arrive and leave before Tammy and Victor. They leave their bags and shoes behind. Victor was cleared to go, but the propeller doesn’t work. They have to go back. He tightens it and they’re off again. They are smart enough to have their driver stop for their belongings first. Margie and Luke are in first place.

Jen is salty at Kisha for leaving their fanny packs, but Kisha assumes they’ll make their way back there eventually.

Detour – either search through dentures for five patients (GROSS!) or sing along in a karoake taxi and run the risk of hitting Bangkok traffic.

Margie and Luke choose the teeth. Jaime and Cara choose karoake. Kisha is walking around Bangkok barefoot. (GROSS!) Tammy and Victor choose karoake.

Margie and Luke do the nasty ass teeth mission. They stick dentures in people’s mouths and I resist the urge to vomit.

Mark and Michael argue about whether or not that they should go for their bags.

Kisha and Jen and Jaime and Cara start the karaoke task at the same time. Tammy and Victor start it too. Tammy calls their cab mates, “Mai Tai Trannies.”

Margie and Luke are going through the teeth challenge quickly. The tiny guys are still arguing even after they get a cabbie to take them back to their bags.  Margie and Luke finish and are in first place. Tammy, Victor, Jaime, Cara, Kisha, and Jen continue to rock out with the trannies’ cocks out.

Margie and Luke come in first place. Kisha and Jen cannot go to the pit stop because they don’t have their bags or money. Mark and Michael make it back to their stuff and then have to head back to the detour. Kisha and Jen convince a cabbie to take them to the pit stop for free.

Being cute helps.

Kisha and Jen are third, and Tammy and Victor are fourth. Phil won’t check the sistahs in until they go get their travel documents. Duh! They have to go back and I swear it looks like they’re about to cry.

The tiny stuntmen finally arrive at the karoake detour and have to give the cabbie crap from their bags in order to pay for the fare because they’re short…. AND they don’t have enough money. *snort*

In the cab, they comment that the girls are pretty. I don’t think they know that they’re trannies. One comments that they’re in the entertainement business so they know how to show girls a good time. LMAO!

The stuntmen arrive fourth, but can’t be checked in because they broke a rule TWICE by using their personal items to settle a bill. The total penalty time is four hours!

Did they even READ the rule book before they left?

Kisha and Jen are fourth.

Mark and Michael are last, BUT it’s a non-elimination leg. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

The remaining three hours for their penalty is tacked on to delay their start time AND they have to perform a Speed Bump in the next leg that no one else has to.

One remarks, “We knew we messed up, but we thought it more important to take care of the people. We didn’t want to incur bad karma in the land of Buddha.”

Phil gives him a look that says, “Nigga, please.”