The Amazing Race 14: Recaps To Finale

Previously on The Amazing Race – Our Parents Will Cry Themselves to Death”: Luke made a bitchass move and pushed one of the sistahs so she called him a bitch. He didn’t hear it, but his Mama told him and then it was on! At the pit stop, Margie lost her shit when she thought Kisha was laughing at Luke because he’s deaf. Oh, and the shorty-do-wops were eliminated. Finally!

Breaking the rules finally caught up with them.

Previously on The Amazing Race- “Having a Baby’s Gotta Be Easier Than This”: The teams get foot massages from hell in China and Jen provides this season’s reality show stereotype – black folks can’t swim. The episode ends with a cliffhanger as the first team to the pit stop finds out that the leg of the race is still going.

Foot massages...

...from HELL!

Previously on The Amazing Race – “He Made Me Look Like Alice Cooper”: The race continues. The teams have to eat gross stuff like fried starfish. I just studied starfish anatomy in biology and I know what their gonads look like. I wouldn’t have eaten it. Just sayin’. Victor and Tammy use the final U-Turn on Kisha and Jen… but that doesn’t cause them to lose the race. Jen stopping to pee when she knew there was another team behind them is what cost them the race. I want to kick her in the teeth.

For one million bucks you PISS YOUR PANTS!

My two picks to win are out. Donny’s pick, Tammy and Victor, are still in. The finale is up next.

The final three teams fly to Hawaii where they have to season, carry, and then prep a pig for a luau. Tammy struggles carrying the pig. I never understand people that can’t suck it up doing the painful things. Maybe it’s because I’ve been through labor twice. Maybe it’s because I really like money. Either way, I want to drop-kick Tammy into the ocean every time she drops the pig and cries.

Margie and Luke finish first and take off for their next clue… on a water scooter… bike… thingie. Then they race to a highway with a fence made of surfboard. One team member has to put the surfboards in order of tasks they completed/places they visited. Luke starts off doing it really well as he’s been prepping for it the entire game.

Jaime and Cara get lost… again. Their cabbie gets on the phone to ask for help. Tammy and Victor get stuck behind a slow car. Meanwhile, Luke is flying through the surfboards. The person the cabbie called for help is on speakerphone and doesn’t appreciate Jaime’s nasty attitude. She, finally, puts her in her damn place! Leave it to an American to tell that bitch where to go.

Luke has a great head start, but the other two teams catch up. He can’t figure out the last two boards, Jaime can’t figure out the first, Victor smokes them all. Tammy and Victor leave for the finish line and the remaining two teams work together to finish the puzzle.

Tammy and Victor win! And even though Donny will never shut up about predicting the winners from episode one, I am happy they won because I hated those remaining two teams.

The winners of The Amazing Race 14