Lost – S6 Epi. 12 “The Last Recruit”

Previously on Lost: In Los Angeles, Sawyer busts Kate, Sayid busts caps in all kinds of asses, and Sun gets shot. Desmond runs over Locke. On the island, Jack comes face-to-face with Evil Locke for the first time.

And now…

Evil Locke wants Jack to go off into the woods alone so they can “catch up.” When they’re alone Evil Locke explains that he chose Locke because Locke was foolish enough to believe the island had a purpose for him and then there’s the whole matter of Jack being nice enough to bring Locke’s body back. He also admits to looking like Jack’s father in order to help them find water. He claims that he has only ever wanted to help Jack and the rest leave the island.

In Los Angeles: In the ambulance, on the way to the hospital, Ben explains to the paramedics that Locke was already paralyzed. Locke asks that they call Helen. As he’s being wheeled inside, so is Sun, and in Korean she says, “No… no!” It’s him!,” after seeing Locke.

On the island, Evil Locke and Jack come across Claire in the jungle. Evil Locke displays some manners and leaves them alone to chat. Surprisingly, she is coming off less crazy than usual… her hair still looks a hot ass mess though.

She couldn't have fashioned a comb out of some chicken bones or something?

Jack says he hasn’t decided if he’s leaving the island with Evil Locke, but Claire tells him that he has. He already decided the moment he let Evil Locke talk to him.

The next morning (they were in the jungle alone ALL NIGHT?), Sawyer tells Hurley his plan. They’re gonna leave via Widmore’s sub. He says Sayid ain’t coming ’cause his ass is all evil now.

Jack, Evil Locke, and Claire return. Hurley lies and tells Claire she looks great.

In Los Angeles, Sawyer questions Kate at the police station. He reads the list of crimes she’s wanted for and observes that she doesn’t look like a murderer. Kate says she’s not. At this point, in this alternate reality, they’ve never said what she has done or if she is really guilty. Kate figures out that Sawyer didn’t turn her in when he saw her in handcuffs at the airport because he didn’t want anyone to know he was in Australia.

Miles calls Sawyer over to investigate the shooting at the restaurant.They got Sayid on surveillance video and want to find him.

On the island, Kate tells Jack that Sayid is different now. Jack says they’re all different. This would be the perfect time for Kate to be like, “No, this mofo is REALLY different. Like, slashing people’s throats and almost let Claire slash my throat, different!” But she doesn’t say anything cause she’s whack.

Tina Fey (Widmore’s girl) shows up at the camp and says that Evil Locke took something from them and they want it back. He has until nightfall or else Widmore will rain down holy hellfire on their asses. No, really, he can totally send over fire bombs and shit. She leaves Evil Locke with a walkie-talkie, which Locke smashes.

“Oh, well. Here we go.”

For some reason, this makes Jack (my son) laugh his ass off.

In Los Angeles, Desmond approaches Claire in the lobby of the adoption agency. She remembers him from the airport. He tells her he’s seeing a lawyer in the same building and suggests that she go see this lawyer to have some help with the adoption negotiations. He convinces Claire to go see the lawyer because although the whole situation is uber creepy, Desmond is hot and has an accent.

The lawyer is Ilana and  turns out she was looking for Claire already! And if I’m not mistaken,Ilana no longer has an accent.

On the island, Evil Locke informs the group that Widmore is lying about him stealing something. He says they’re gonna go to the other island and get on the plane. He instructs Sawyer to go get the boat (Desmond’s boat) and pulls Sayid aside.

Sawyer snatches up Jack and tells him to break off from Evil Locke’s group as soon as he can and meet them at the boat. He tells him to bring only Sun, Lapidis, and Hurley. Everyone else can get bent and that includes Sayid and Claire’s crazy ass. Sawyer and Kate head off.

Evil Locke instructs Sayid to go and kill Desmond. Sayid is all, “Aight.”

Sayid approaches the well and finds Desmond all jacked up at the bottom of it. Desmond wants to know what Evil Locke offered Sayid. He says he owes him at least that information if he’s gonna shoot him in cold blood. Sayid admits that he will get the woman he loves back even though she’s dead. Sayid believes him because he also died, and Evil Locke brought him back (we better get a better explanation that night by the finale! I’m just saying.) Desmond wants to know what he’s going to tell this woman when she asks what he did to have them be together again. Sayid has no answer.

In Los Angeles, Nadia tries to stall Miles so that Sayid can make a run for it, but Sawyer (literally) trips Sayid up in the back yard and arrests him.

On the island, Sawyer tells Kate the plan and she’s upset that Claire isn’t invited. Sawyer is all, “That bitch is crazy.” Claire still looks skeptical even though four epis ago, Claire tried to kill her. Dumbass.

Claire admits to Jack that she trusts Evil Locke because he’s the only person that didn’t abandon her. Evil Locke notices that Sayid hasn’t caught up to them yet and asks Sun if she has seen him. Sun doesn’t answer because her English went bye-bye. Evil Locke is all, “Oh, that’s mature.” She writes him a note that he did it and he’s like, “Girl, I ain’t do shit to you.” Evil Locke says he’s gonna go back and make sure no one got left behind. Jack takes that opportunity to grab Sun, Lapidis, and Hurley and haul ass. Crazy Claire notices and follows.

Evil Locke finds Sayid and asks if he killed Desmond. Sayid said that he did. He’s clearly lying, but either Evil Locke believes him or doesn’t care.

As everyone is about to get on the boat, Crazy Claire shows up with a gun. Kate tells Claire that she can come too if she puts down the gun. Sawyer is all, “Bitch, is you crazy?” Claire seems to return to her old self and hands over the gun, but quickly goes back to Crazy Town when she eerily predicts that Evil Locke will be mad when he finds out they’re gone.

In Los Angeles, Jack and his son David show up at the lawyer’s office for the reading of Christian’s will. The lawyer is Ilana and she surprises Jack by introducing him to Claire. Claire tells Jack that she’s his sister. Before he can react too much, Jack receives a call. He is needed at the hospital.

On the boat, Jack tells Sawyer that leaving the island doesn’t feel right. Sawyer is all, “If you’re gonna keep up that crazy talk, you can get the hell off my boat.” So, Jack jumps off the boat. Kate loses her shit and says they have to go back for him. Sawyer says, “We’re done going back.”

And I have a feeling that may be the last time those characters see the main island they crashed on.

In Los Angeles, Sun wakes up in the hospital and finds out that the baby is okay. Jack prepares to operate on Locke. He is all super duper surgeon badass after looking at Locke’s x-rays. “I got this, bitches.” (OK, I added the bitches part.) Before he cuts, he realizes that he knows Locke.

On the island, Jack swims ashore and runs into Evil Locke and his band of merry crazymen. Evil Locke surmises that Sawyer took his boat.

As Sawyer and crew arrive on Hydra island, Tina Fey and crew show up and demand they put their hands up. Only Kate doesn’t listen at first. Tina Fey calls the base and tells someone to turn the fences off.

"Drop your weapons! Put your hands up!"

"No, I'm Kate and I never do as I'm told."

Sun sees Jin for the first time in three years. They run towards each other and I’m like, “I really hope they turned those fences off.” Sun’s English returns as she tells Jin that she loves him and never stopped looking for him. Everyone is all, “Aw, shucks,” except Sawyer who is suddenly very interested in his shoes and Claire who just looks crazier.

Tina Fey gets instructions from Widmore and she and company pull their guns on Sawyer and the rest. She tells someone on the walkie they can fire when ready on Evil Locke. On the other beach, Jack hears the holy hellfire coming and orders everyone to get down, which they do… except Evil Locke cause he’s badass like that. Jack is knocked back and Evil Locke carries him to safety.

“Jack? You alright? Don’t worry. It’s gonna be okay. You’re with me now.”

Ruh-roh.

Lost Season 5 – Epi. 4: The Little Prince

Three years later…

Kate gets all professional looking in Sun’s hotel room order to meet with someone and it’s Sun’s idea. Sun babysits while Kate is gone. Sun gets a package that includes photos of Jack meeting with Ben and a gun. Mama means business.

Back on the island, Charlotte is still out cold. Juliet insists that if Daniel knows what’s happening to Charlotte, he should tell her. Daniel plays dumb unconvincingly. He finally compares what Charlotte has to really bad jet lag, but Juliet still ain’t tryna hear it.

Not buying it.

In present day, in Los Angeles, Kate meets with the attorney who came to her house. She says she will agree to give the blood samples if his client will meet with her. The lawyer ain’t buying it. He tells Kate that eventually she will lose Aaron and that her client is being nice by not pushing the situation faster.

On the island, Locke tells Sawyer they need to get back to The Orchid. Maybe there’s a way to stop what’s happening there. Locke suggests they head back to the beach to find the Zodiac raft and use it to get to The Orchid quicker. He tells Sawyer that he has to make the Oceanic 6 come back even if it kills him. He nicks Sawyer’s resolve by mentioning the possibility of seeing Kate again.

Charlotte finally wakes up with a bunch of dried and crusty blood under her nose. Will someone get homegirl a banana leaf, please? Sawyer announces to the group that they’ll be heading to The Orchid and some Planet of the Apes-style music plays.

In present day, Sayid warns Jack that they need to get to Hurley before Ben does. Jack tells Sayid that Ben is on their side. Before they can argue further, a doctor calls Jack out of the room to rip him a new one for coming up in the hospital treating patients like he works there. Hurley calls Jack and tells him that he’s in L.A. county lock-up and safe from Ben. He hangs up before Jack can get more out of him. Dumb Hurley.

Who, me?

Meanwhile a male nurse shows up in Sayid’s room telling him he has his meds. Knowing Jack ain’t order no meds, Sayid goes all Batman on the nurse’s ass before he can shoot Sayid up with more tranquilizers! Ok, it’s apparent whoever is behind this doesn’t want Sayid’s ass dead. Just really high.

Sayid is about to choke the man to death with an I.V. line (yeah, he’s that P.I.M.P) when the man reveals there’s an address in his pocket. Sayid shoots him with his tranq gun and gets the address. Ben and Jack arrive and Jack realizes the pseudo-nurse was carrying Kate’s address.

Jack calls Kate to warn her, but she’s all, “The last time we spoke you were drunk and scruffy and talking ’bout going back to Crazy Island, so yeah, I’ma hang up now.” He convinces her to give up her location downtown.

Ben and Sayid leave to get Hurley while Jack goes to meet Kate. Ben tells Jack they all need to meet up at the Long Beach Marina.

Back on the island, Sawyer wants to know what Locke is going to say to get Kate to come back, but Locke admits he has no idea. Sawyer is all, “She was too happy to bounce to want to come back so you have your work cut out for you.” As the group makes their way through the nighttime jungle, they see a light in the distance. Locke tells them to keep moving, but Daniel wants to know if Locke has an idea of “when” they are. Locke doesn’t answer.

I think they’re at the night when Locke was banging on the hatch door and the light came on. The night Boone died.

They hear screaming in the jungle and Sawyer goes to investigate. He sees Kate delivering Claire’s baby. The look on his face is wonderful. I really like this scene. It reminds us of the personal history they all share and how much they’ve been through together. Suddenly, the flashy light thing happens again and it’s daytime. Sawyer doesn’t tell Locke what he saw. By the way, I was right. That was totally the night Boone died.

Jack shows up at Kate’s car as she sits on a downtown street. He convinces her to confide in him. When the lawyer leaves his office, Jack hops in the car as Kate prepares to follow him.

I birthed that baby...practically.

On the island, Locke admits that he knew they were back to the night Boone died and said he wouldn’t warn his past self of anything that was about to happen. Miles (Asian Psychic Dude) admits to Daniel that he suffered a nose bleed with the last flash. Daniel said it has something to do with the amount of exposure one has had to the island. Miles balks seeing as how the Oceanic survivors have been on the island for months, but he has only been there two weeks. Are you sure, Daniel wants to know.

I told y’all!! Miles is the baby from the season premiere! He, Charlotte, and Daniel each have childhood connections with the island. I bet you.

They arrive at the camp and find it trashed and the raft gone. New boats are ashore with water bottles from an Indian airline. Locke and the gang decide to take the new canoe and head over to the Orchid. They’re not sticking around for the other others to come back.

As they row, Sawyer admits to Juliet that he saw Kate delivering Claire’s baby the night before. Before they can get too deep into the convo, someone starts shooting at them from another boat.

“Paddle!” Sawyer instructs.

And what follows is a comical Scooby-Doo style row-fest. I damn near pissed my pants laughing.

“Are those your people?” Miles asks Juliet.

“No, are they yours?!”

Priceless.

Before anyone can get a cap popped in their ass, there’s another flash and they’re now in the middle of a rain storm paddling to shore.

Yum!

In present day, Kate and Jack follow the lawyer to a motel where he meets with Claire’s mother. Jack convinces Kate that he should speak with her and try to get her to stop what she’s doing. When he returns to the car, he informs Kate that Claire’s mother has no idea what’s going on. She doesn’t even know that Aaron exists. She was in town to pick up the settlement she won from suing Oceanic.

Ben and Sayid are on their way to Hurley, but make a stop. Ben meets with the lawyer who met with Claire’s Mom. He informs Ben that arrangements have been made for Hurley’s release.

“Who is that?” Sayid wants to know.

“That’s my lawyer.”

Ben is awesome.

On the island, Sawyer admits to Juliet he was close enough to Kate to touch her, but what’s done is done so he didn’t. Juliet suffers a nosebleed. They find more wreckage on the beach and a black box with French writing on it.

Out to sea, a bunch of French people find a body floating in the water. It’s Jin!!!!! Awesome! I’m so happy he’s not dead!

Happy dance! Happy dance!

Alive and Kicking!

Present day: Jack and Kate are the marina when Ben arrives. Kate accuses Ben of being behind what’s going on with Aaron and Jack tries to tell her he’s on their side. Sayid looks on. Ben admits that he was behind trying to take Aaron away. Ben is P.I.M.P. too!

Sun looks on with Aaron sleeping in the backseat. She takes her gun from her purse and begins to make her move.

Back on the island, Jin awakens to some very suspicious French people. Even though I don’t know what they’re saying, they manage to be obnoxious. Jin realizes that one of them is a pregnant, and much younger, Danielle Rousseau!

Goosebumps!

You know what sucks? The next light flashy thing will take Jin away from them. I want to find out what happened with her people and how they got sick! Also, where is the smoke monster!?!?

Lost Season 5 – Because You Left/The Lie Epis. 1&2

An alarm goes off at 8:15am. A woman tells a man it’s his turn to get a crying baby. He tends to the baby and leaves for work… and he’s on the island… which I totally knew. It’s a man in some nut-hugging tight pants. It’s the doctor from all of the orientation films by The Dharma Initiative. He’s in the middle of making a film when he’s told there’s a problem at The Orchid.

He heads down to where the big wheel that moves the island is. Construction crews have been through two drills trying to get to it. The doctor informs the crew to stop. They run the risk of releasing limitless energy that can be used to time travel. The construction chief is all, “Chyeah right.” And the scientist is all, “Yuh huh.” As the scientist leaves, he bumps into the OTHER scientist. You know, the one that came to the island on the freighter and was Desmond’s constant when he was all time-travelly, Daniel… the physicist.

Physicist time traveling Daniel

Three years after the island moved, Jack and Ben talk about going back to the island with all of the Oceanic 6, and smelly, dead, Locke. Jack says that Locke told him all kinds of bad shit went down when they left and that if they didn’t go back, Sawyer, Juliet, and everyone on the island and boat would die.

Flash back three years to when the island moved and those on the island are all, “WTF?!” No one knows what the bright light and loud sound were all about. Where’s the freighter? No one knows. Also, no one knows where the hell the camp is ’cause that’s gone too. Daniel, who was on the raft when the island disappeared and within the radius, says that the camp isn’t gone. It just hasn’t been built yet. And I’m all, “Yeah, that’s nice. I’m just happy Rose and Bernard are still alive.”

Yum!

Back to three years later, Kate is served with papers declaring she needs to give up a blood sample to prove she’s Aaron’s mommy. She’s all, “Um, no.” The lawyers won’t say who their client is and Kate demands they come back with the sheriff. While they’re gone, she packs up her and Aaron’s stuff and they bounce.

Flash back three years, and Daniel won’t explain to Sawyer and Juliet what’s going on. He says it would just be too complicated for their simple little brains. For this, Sawyer bitch slaps him and Daniel sings like a canary physicist.

Locke is making his way around the island when a plane comes dangerously close to crashing on his ass. It crashes in the distance, and in the process drops one of the Virgin Mary heroin statues. Locke makes his way to the wreckage, and not learning a lesson from what happened to Boone’s ass, he tries to climb up to it. Someone starts shooting at him and he falls. It’s Ethan!

Ok, so obviously the island went back in time. But why is Ethan alive? Is it ’cause his dead body was on the island? Is that why the drug plane re-crashed?

Anyway, Ethan is about to pop a cap in John’s ass when it suddenly gets all bright again and next thing you know, it’s nighttime. Daniel tells Sawyer and crew they are either in the past or the future. Well, no duh.

Three years ahead, Sun is travelling to Los Angeles when her passport causes her to be locked in a room. Charles Widmore arrives. He’s all, “Don’t be running up on me when I’m with my boys like that.” And she’s all, “My bad.” He wants to know what their common interest is. “To kill Benjamin Linus.” Well, no shit.

Ben and Jack see a news report about Hurley escaping from the mental hospital. This changes their plans.

Sayid and Hurley get some fast food and head for Sayid’s apartment. Hurley says he needs a cool coat. I don’t know about that… but he damn sure don’t need that fast food he’s eating. Sayid tells Hurley he was working for Ben for the past two years and Hurley wonders if this means Ben’s on their side now. Sayid tells Hurley to always do the exact opposite of whatever Ben says.

Sayid realizes his safe house ain’t so safe. He kills two intruders, but not before one shoots him with a tranquilizer. He instructs Hurley to get him to the car. “I’m too old for this shit,” Hurley grumbles as he carries Sayid off. Well, what he actually says is, “We never should have left that island.” Same diff. Moral of this scene? Always put your knives in the dishwasher pointy side down.

Three years ago, Sawyer and crew find the blown up hatch. This means they’re forward in time, back to after the Oceanic people crashed there. Sawyer wants to head back and see if the camp is still there and possibly warn the people on the copter not to go. Daniel explains that they can’t change the past or future, they must not interfere… leave the stream be. And I have a headache. Sawyer wants to know who can stop the island from time jumping… cut to…

Locke hobbles to the drug plane and finds it as it was when they first found it; crashed with the heroin and skeletons. He fashions a tourniquet for his injured leg. Richard shows up to remove the bullet from his leg that Locke never told him was there… Richard says, “You did tell me… or you will.” He explains that Locke will be moving on soon and that the next time they meet, Richard won’t know who he is. Then he gives Locke a compass. He tells Locke he has to get his friends to come back in order to save the island. Locke wants to know how he’s supposed to do that… “You’ll have to die, John.”

"Um, what's plan B?"

Bright light and Locke is back in the daytime… back in the past.

Three years in the past, Sawyer and crew realize that they are back in the past, and the hatch is back. Sawyer wants to go into the hatch to get the supplies. Daniel warns him he can’t change the past. Sawyer says that everyone he cares about just blew up on Daniel’s freighter; he knows what he can’t change.

The foreign redhead chick has a nosebleed which causes Daniel to consult his notebook on the sly. When alone, he bangs on the hatch’s backdoor until Desmond answers. He quickly tells Desmond that if he made it off the island in the helicopter, Desmond needs to go to Oxford University in order to save those left behind. He tells him to find his mother… and the bright light flashes again. Desmond, of course, didn’t know what the hell he was talking about or who he was.

Three years in the future, Desmond awakes on a boat with Penny and realizes he just had a memory. He starts to un-anchor the boat, informing Penny they’re going to Oxford.

Three years ago… the Oceanic Six are discussing whether or not they’re going to lie once rescued. Everyone agrees to, but not Hurley. Jack tells him that they need to protect those they left behind from Charles Widmore. Hurley is outnumbered and pretty much bullied into lying. Hurley warns, “Ima ‘member this.”

Three years in the future… Hurley and Sayid are on the road. Hurley drives and tries to get Sayid to wake up. He’s out for the count. Because Hurley is a fool and driving like one, they get pulled over. The cop is Ana Lucia! She scolds Hurley for being a dumbass, tells him to get off the streets, and that Libby says hi. Freaky!

Three years in the past… the people left on the island try to figure out what their next step should be. Daniel want to try and figure out where they are in time.

Three years in the future… Hurley buys clothes and narrowly averts being recognized. Kate gets a call from a friend and rushes to meet him/her. Ben tells Jack to go home and pack anything that means anything to him because once they leave he’s never going home again. He says he’ll meet him in six hours. When Jack asks whether or not Locke is dead, Ben doesn’t respond. He just says, “I’ll see you in six hours, Jack.” Hurley shows up at his Dad’s house. (His Dad was totally watching, “Expose,” the show that starred Nicky from the island.)

Hurley’s Dad covers for him with the cops. Kate meets Sun at a hotel, and Ben shows up at a butcher shop where the lady behind the counter agrees to hold on to Locke so I guess he won’t be so stinky and maggoty after all.

Three years in the past, on the island, Asian psychic dude returns from the jungle with a dead boar. He said he found it dead. I’m guessing he used his special connection with the dead ability to find it.

"I'll give you these peanuts if you can tell me my name."

The foreign redhead admits to Daniel that she can’t seem to shake a headache, and earlier couldn’t remember her mother’s maiden name. One of the survivors starts to over-freak out about the group not being able to start a fire when suddenly he has a fiery arrow in his chest. The survivors flee an onslaught of fiery arrows! WTF?!

In the future, Hurley’s father leaves with Sayid hidden in his car. Sun tells Kate that she must do whatever it takes to protect Aaron. Sun remembers that Kate told her to get Aaron on the helicopter and that she, Kate, would go get Jin. We all know how that turned out. Sun assures Kate she doesn’t blame her. Hurley’s father takes Sayid to Jack and warns him to leave Hurley alone. Jack calls Ben and tells him he has Sayid Ben’s eyes go wide… er… wider than usual. Hurley tells his mother the truth about what happened on the island. She says she doesn’t understand, but she believes his crazy ass.

Three years ago, on the island, Sawyer and Juliet encounter some men with guns who threaten to cut off Juliet’s hand if they don’t explain what they’re doing there. Guess they have knives too.

In the future, Jack takes Sayid to a hospital and gets him to wake up. Sayid is concerned that Hurley is now vulnerable. Ben shows up at Hurley’s house and tries to convince him he’s working with Jack and Sayid. Remembering what Sayid said about trusting Ben, Hurley runs out to turn himself in to the cops watching his house instead. Ben looks on like, “Dumbass.”

Locke comes out of the shadows all Jungle Badass and saves Sawyer and Juliet’s asses… and her hand.

Meanwhile, in the future, a cloaked woman is working on formulas on a blackboard, and typing into a computer. A weird pendulum swings leaving markings on the floor. She makes her way up to a church where Ben is waiting. He explains he’s having difficulty gathering everyone, but she warns he only has 70 hours. She’s the woman from the jewelry store! Ben asks what would happen if he can’t get them to return to the island.

“Then God help us all.”

So, what did you guys think? Predictions? Questions? More importantly, when do we get to see the smoke monster again?!

Me thinks that woman at the end may be Daniel’s mother.