Are We Doing Our Boys Justice?

When I wrote about Kali not being able to attend sleep-overs, I found some interesting thoughts to chew on in the comments.

In this day and age, we are all too familiar with the fact that children are victimized no matter what sex they are. Molestation, rape, kidnapping, etc., are not reserved for little girls. Boys are preyed upon too.

After speaking with friends and family members that have boys and girls, I found that people seem to be more protective of their little girls. Whether it be because we assume that girls are more fragile, or that we still associate molestation, rape, etc. with little girls, parents seem to be more careful with their little girls.

A single Dad of a teenage boy and girl pointed out on the blog that his son has sleep-overs, but because of parents that felt as I did, his daughter never did. How fair is that to her? On the flip side, are we opening up our sons to more danger by having less restrictions? The homes of possible sleep-overs are extra scrutinized for our girls (if they’re allowed to go at all), but not so for boys.

Boys are also given more rope when it comes to curfews and when they’re allowed to date. I remember with my own parents, it was cause for jokes if my brother came home from school talking about a girl. My sisters and I were not afforded the same luxury. Crushes were kept on the D.L. You didn’t fix your lips to talk about boys in front of your parents.

In talking to people for this blog, I had one parent admit something to me that pretty much blew my mind. They allow their teenage son to have sex in their home. Why? Because they worry about their son’s safety if he’s caught having sex in his girlfriend’s home. They reason that their preteen daughter wouldn’t be shot by an angry Mom if she’s caught in her boyfriend’s room, but their teenage son might have to run for his life from an angry Dad if the tables were turned.

Now imagine affording your daughter the same permission? Yeah, I didn’t think so. We worry about our girls coming home pregnant, but do parents stress the same when it comes to their boys getting girls pregnant?

This treatment can even be traced back further. I need only look to my own husband and son. I am paranoid about head injuries. I just don’t think they should be taken lightly. No, I don’t rush Jack to the ER for every head bump, but as any responsible parent would, I monitor him afterwards. My stone fireplace hearth is of particular concern to me so it’s surrounded by throw pillows. (The baby guards just don’t cut it.)

Anytime Jack takes a tumble, Donny says, “He’ll be all right. He’s a boy!” As if being a boy makes him any less an infant! We shouldn’t be less concerned with Jack’s injuries because he’s a boy. Donny seems to think that broken bones are par for the course of having a son. That doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t expect to put him in a bubble, but since when are broken bones a good thing?

So, I toss it to you.

Are boys and girls raised differently, and if so, are boys put more at risk because of it? Would you allow your teenage son to have sex in your home? Do you find yourself affording your boy more leeway than your daughter because you worry about him less, or think that he can handle more? How did your parents handle it?