Gaming Will Ruin My Relationships

I realized this weekend that I take gaming way too seriously. Wait. Correction: I always knew this, but Donny, Bette, and Mike found out the hard way.

We spent a great deal of time this weekend playing Perfect Dark Zero online.  Our favorite games are Infection: some players start out as infected skeleton zombies and have to kill/infect the others before time runs out and let me tell you, nothing is scarier than being the last human alive crouched in a corner with two guns waiting for your death, and Capture the Flag: two teams try to steal each others flag and bring it back to their own base to score.

Now, I take my capture the flag seriously. In a perfect world I like two guys guarding our flag: a sniper up high and one guy on the ground, and two or three headed to the other team’s base to steal theirs. This isn’t to say that Donny, Mike, and Bette don’t want to win. I just don’t think they want to win as badly as I do. I had to mute my mic or else they would have heard the most horrible of obscenities spew from my mouth.

Bette is so nice. She makes friends with everyone. During one game she’s chatting with a teammate, some guy in Ohio I think:

“What school do you go to?”

Meanwhile, I’m running back to our base with the flag, enemies hot on my tail, bullets whizzing by me, and I’m yelling, “Fuck his school! Who’s guarding the motherfucking flag?!?!”

Don’t judge me! I hate losing.