Coming Up on Blog It Out, Bitch

I haven’t forgotten you. It’s just that a funny thing happens when you graduate: you kinda have to find a job. Also, a funny thing happens when you have kids: they kinda have to be fed.

Starting next week, I’m back on a regular blogging/writing schedule. What do you have to look forward to? Glad you asked.

Mommy Monday: You Can’t Make Me! – What are the consequences of forcing our kids to participate in activities FOR us?

Blog It Out, Baby: Breastfeeding at 48 Months (Yes, that’s 4!)

Nina’s Top Ten “Don’t You Hate It When…”

Weekly TV recaps of: 24 and Lost and POSSIBLY American Idol (only because Ellen has joined the show.)

Book Club: You can vote now between:

- Holler at the Moon by Tinesha Davis

- Almost Moon by Alice Sebold

- Hold Love Strong by Matthew Aaron Goodman

I eventually want to read/discuss all three, we’re just voting to see which one goes first.

“What about Fluke?!”

I know, I know. I read it, it was great. Not my favorite Christopher Moore book (A Dirty Job holds that title), but it was pretty funny. My favorite part was his explanation as to why his ex-wife was a lesbian – she, her female co-worker, and their boat were mistaken for a whale vagina by two dueling whales penises and subsequently drenched in whale jizz. I kid you not.

Fiction: How Jenna Found Out I Loved Her – a coming of age story with a twist.

And the return of Ask Me Anything plus, I’ll take blog requests.

Hope you’ll stick around. And tell your friends.

For My Writer Friends and the People That Like To Read Them

I have 31 chapters of Sharing Space completed. Most of you know that the first 1o chapters were written almost ten years ago. Boy, does it show! Some of the worst offenses?

• About 100 sentences that began, “It was then that…”
  • It was then that we noticed…
  • It was then that she entered the room…
  • It was then that Nina wanted to shoot herself in the head…
• About 100 uses of the word immediately
• About 100 sentences that went like this:
  • We were more than a little surprised that…
  • I was more than a little annoyed that…
• About 100 sentences that went like this:
  • To say that the day hadn’t gone well would be an understatement…
  • To say that she didn’t like him would be an understatement
• About 100 sentences that went like this:
  • I was saved from having to answer when the phone rang
  • We were saved from having to find out because she walked into the room
  • Nina was saved from having to find out what a horrible writer she was because she finally gave up, and got a job at WalMart.

I have discovered that I am a “get it all out and make it pretty later” kind of writer. When the story is in me, I must get it out and I’ll worry about imagery and proper comma placement later. Fuck it.

It took me all weekend, but it’s definitely a lot prettier than it was. I decided to take a break from SS and use The Writer’s Toolbox I bought from Barnes & Noble yesterday. Oh, while I was there, I also claimed my spot on the shelf. I moved the other books out the way and placed my hand in the empty space. I closed my eyes and visualized my book there – right before Arturo Pérez-Reverte.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I bought the toolbox because like most writers, I find myself lacking motivation. And like most writers that are mothers, wives, students, etc., I find myself lacking the time when I am motivated. The box is filled with neat little exercises designed to get the juices flowing.

I did the exercise using the three sticks. First, you draw from a bunch of sticks called The First Sentence sticks. Each one has a first sentence to get you started. Whatever you pick, that’s the sentence that must start your story. You write for six minutes, and then draw a Non Sequitur stick. Each has a phrase designed to move your writing in a new direction. Write for another six minutes. Finally, draw a Last Straw stick. These contain phrases that should promote conflict or action.

I drew:

I placed the tulips under the pillow, and then I lit the house on fire.

We were drinking champagne, and losing our shirts

The lemon sherbet had melted all over the counter.

Below is what I came up with. Remember, it’s 18 minutes of free writing. I haven’t made it pretty yet, but I know where I want it to go. Check it out.

I placed the tulips under the pillow, and then I set fire to the house. I’d always hated the house with its creaky wooden floors and faded walls. When my parents first moved us into the house, I was ten. I knew then, fifteen years ago, that I’d destroy it, or it would destroy me.

It landed the early blows; loose carpeting on the steps caused me to fall when I was twelve  and break my arm and the window in my bedroom fell on my hand when I was fourteen and broke two bones. I was no punk, though, and exacted revenge often and fiercely. I punched holes in my bedroom walls just for the hell of it. Imagined the dry wall flakes to be the house’s guts and I literally danced on them, mashing them into the floor. I was grounded for a month after that.

When my mother first planted the tulip garden, I was angry. The house didn’t deserve such beauty.

The house had a way of turning everything in it against me. I realized this one summer afternoon when I tried to prepare a snack. I took out a tub of sherbet from the freezer right before I realized that I had to pee. I left it sitting out while I ran to the powder room four feet from the kitchen. How long does it take you to pee? Include wiping, washing your hands, and shutting off the lights. Two minutes? Three? When I returned to the kitchen I discovered the lemon sherbet had melted all over the counter.  I knew then that house controlled the counters, the walls, the ceiling, the floors, the drapes and the light fixtures. It had many weapons at its disposal and I’d have to be creative to survive.

The first opportunity I had to leave the vindictive house, I took it. Though the campus was a few short miles away, I went to live in the dorms when I went to college. One weekend, when my parents were out of town visiting my mother’s sister in Toronto, I let my friends convince me to have a party at the house.

“It’s so big and awesome! Your house is wicked!” my retarded roommate had gushed.

“You have no idea.” I replied before giving in.

The party was going as well as college parties could go; we were drinking champagne and losing our shirts – we were a fancy bunch who would never stoop so low as to drink beer or cheap liquor. I was about to take Levi Stiles up to my old bedroom for some heavy petting, and maybe, light fucking, when the house exacted its ultimate revenge.

Sharing Space: The End?

Hello loyal readers,

I’ve decided to no longer post chapters of Sharing Space online. As I prepare to send off the manuscript to a few literary agents, and pitch it at the writers conference in May, it seems it’s in my best interest not to give away the whole cow for free.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the time you’ve spent with the cow thus far. Should someone decide to distribute the cow’s milk for a small fee, I hope you’d be so inclined to pay for a cup. Ok, I gotta stop the cow metaphor. Or is it an analogy? And I call myself a writer.

For those of you that enjoy my fiction, I have stuff that is solely for the internet and that will be posted on various Saturdays. As for Wednesdays, another day that was previously dedicated to Sharing Space chapters, beginning next week I’ll be posting a new feature, “Nina’s Top Ten.” I think you’ll like it.

Don’t worry. This is not the end of Patrick and Chloe. God willing, it’s just the end of Patrick and Chloe for free. Hopefully, one day in the near future, you’ll have your very own copy on your bookshelf. And I’ll sign it. And you can say, “I knew her when… her shit was free.”

Love,

n.

Sharing Space: Q & A

Hello, loyal readers,

I am preparing a query, synopsis, and pitch for Sharing Space. My plan is to submit it for publishing consideration over the next two months. I’m also attending a writing conference where I’ll be pitching it to several literary agents. Eek!

For those of you who have been reading, and enjoying, I need your help.

1. Please post below any questions you have about the story. Want to know if a character was inspired by anyone in real life? Ask. If you have questions about the direction of the story, feel free to ask that as well.

2. What are you favorite chapters/scenes? Why? What didn’t you like? No bullshit. Just be honest.

3. If you’ve enjoyed the story, a quick blurb as to what you like in particular and why, would be appreciated. It doesn’t have to be terribly long. Just a few lines.

If you’ve been reading and not commenting, now is the perfect time to start. I could use all the feedback.

More news later.

Thanks,

n.