You Can’t Have Nothing With Kids

My Mom used to say that. Bad English and all.

“Damn, I can’t have nothing with y’all!”

Now, I know what she means.

“Mom, what are you eating? Can I have some? Yeah, I know it’s your last bite, but I wanna taste it.”

I give it up.

“Yuck” *spits it out* “That’s nasty.”

Then there’s the audacity.

“Mom, who drank the last soda?”

“Me.”

“What?! I wanted that!!”

“You were in school. How was I supposed to know?”

“Well, don’t drink the last of anything.”

“Excuse you?”

And it’s not just the ten-year-old.

Jack: Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm = “I don’t know what that is you’re eating. And I don’t have teeth. But I want it. Give it to me!”

And now it has crossed over from food to my video games! I asked Donny to buy Animal Crossing: City Folk on the Wii for me! ME ME ME! After one day Kali started giving me this face every time she wanted to play and I wouldn’t let her:

"If you loved me..."

“Is it my turn yet, Mama?”

“Who said you get a turn?”

“I thought you said it’s important to share?”

Son of a bitch.