Lost Season 5 – Because You Left/The Lie Epis. 1&2

An alarm goes off at 8:15am. A woman tells a man it’s his turn to get a crying baby. He tends to the baby and leaves for work… and he’s on the island… which I totally knew. It’s a man in some nut-hugging tight pants. It’s the doctor from all of the orientation films by The Dharma Initiative. He’s in the middle of making a film when he’s told there’s a problem at The Orchid.

He heads down to where the big wheel that moves the island is. Construction crews have been through two drills trying to get to it. The doctor informs the crew to stop. They run the risk of releasing limitless energy that can be used to time travel. The construction chief is all, “Chyeah right.” And the scientist is all, “Yuh huh.” As the scientist leaves, he bumps into the OTHER scientist. You know, the one that came to the island on the freighter and was Desmond’s constant when he was all time-travelly, Daniel… the physicist.

Physicist time traveling Daniel

Three years after the island moved, Jack and Ben talk about going back to the island with all of the Oceanic 6, and smelly, dead, Locke. Jack says that Locke told him all kinds of bad shit went down when they left and that if they didn’t go back, Sawyer, Juliet, and everyone on the island and boat would die.

Flash back three years to when the island moved and those on the island are all, “WTF?!” No one knows what the bright light and loud sound were all about. Where’s the freighter? No one knows. Also, no one knows where the hell the camp is ’cause that’s gone too. Daniel, who was on the raft when the island disappeared and within the radius, says that the camp isn’t gone. It just hasn’t been built yet. And I’m all, “Yeah, that’s nice. I’m just happy Rose and Bernard are still alive.”

Yum!

Back to three years later, Kate is served with papers declaring she needs to give up a blood sample to prove she’s Aaron’s mommy. She’s all, “Um, no.” The lawyers won’t say who their client is and Kate demands they come back with the sheriff. While they’re gone, she packs up her and Aaron’s stuff and they bounce.

Flash back three years, and Daniel won’t explain to Sawyer and Juliet what’s going on. He says it would just be too complicated for their simple little brains. For this, Sawyer bitch slaps him and Daniel sings like a canary physicist.

Locke is making his way around the island when a plane comes dangerously close to crashing on his ass. It crashes in the distance, and in the process drops one of the Virgin Mary heroin statues. Locke makes his way to the wreckage, and not learning a lesson from what happened to Boone’s ass, he tries to climb up to it. Someone starts shooting at him and he falls. It’s Ethan!

Ok, so obviously the island went back in time. But why is Ethan alive? Is it ’cause his dead body was on the island? Is that why the drug plane re-crashed?

Anyway, Ethan is about to pop a cap in John’s ass when it suddenly gets all bright again and next thing you know, it’s nighttime. Daniel tells Sawyer and crew they are either in the past or the future. Well, no duh.

Three years ahead, Sun is travelling to Los Angeles when her passport causes her to be locked in a room. Charles Widmore arrives. He’s all, “Don’t be running up on me when I’m with my boys like that.” And she’s all, “My bad.” He wants to know what their common interest is. “To kill Benjamin Linus.” Well, no shit.

Ben and Jack see a news report about Hurley escaping from the mental hospital. This changes their plans.

Sayid and Hurley get some fast food and head for Sayid’s apartment. Hurley says he needs a cool coat. I don’t know about that… but he damn sure don’t need that fast food he’s eating. Sayid tells Hurley he was working for Ben for the past two years and Hurley wonders if this means Ben’s on their side now. Sayid tells Hurley to always do the exact opposite of whatever Ben says.

Sayid realizes his safe house ain’t so safe. He kills two intruders, but not before one shoots him with a tranquilizer. He instructs Hurley to get him to the car. “I’m too old for this shit,” Hurley grumbles as he carries Sayid off. Well, what he actually says is, “We never should have left that island.” Same diff. Moral of this scene? Always put your knives in the dishwasher pointy side down.

Three years ago, Sawyer and crew find the blown up hatch. This means they’re forward in time, back to after the Oceanic people crashed there. Sawyer wants to head back and see if the camp is still there and possibly warn the people on the copter not to go. Daniel explains that they can’t change the past or future, they must not interfere… leave the stream be. And I have a headache. Sawyer wants to know who can stop the island from time jumping… cut to…

Locke hobbles to the drug plane and finds it as it was when they first found it; crashed with the heroin and skeletons. He fashions a tourniquet for his injured leg. Richard shows up to remove the bullet from his leg that Locke never told him was there… Richard says, “You did tell me… or you will.” He explains that Locke will be moving on soon and that the next time they meet, Richard won’t know who he is. Then he gives Locke a compass. He tells Locke he has to get his friends to come back in order to save the island. Locke wants to know how he’s supposed to do that… “You’ll have to die, John.”

"Um, what's plan B?"

Bright light and Locke is back in the daytime… back in the past.

Three years in the past, Sawyer and crew realize that they are back in the past, and the hatch is back. Sawyer wants to go into the hatch to get the supplies. Daniel warns him he can’t change the past. Sawyer says that everyone he cares about just blew up on Daniel’s freighter; he knows what he can’t change.

The foreign redhead chick has a nosebleed which causes Daniel to consult his notebook on the sly. When alone, he bangs on the hatch’s backdoor until Desmond answers. He quickly tells Desmond that if he made it off the island in the helicopter, Desmond needs to go to Oxford University in order to save those left behind. He tells him to find his mother… and the bright light flashes again. Desmond, of course, didn’t know what the hell he was talking about or who he was.

Three years in the future, Desmond awakes on a boat with Penny and realizes he just had a memory. He starts to un-anchor the boat, informing Penny they’re going to Oxford.

Three years ago… the Oceanic Six are discussing whether or not they’re going to lie once rescued. Everyone agrees to, but not Hurley. Jack tells him that they need to protect those they left behind from Charles Widmore. Hurley is outnumbered and pretty much bullied into lying. Hurley warns, “Ima ‘member this.”

Three years in the future… Hurley and Sayid are on the road. Hurley drives and tries to get Sayid to wake up. He’s out for the count. Because Hurley is a fool and driving like one, they get pulled over. The cop is Ana Lucia! She scolds Hurley for being a dumbass, tells him to get off the streets, and that Libby says hi. Freaky!

Three years in the past… the people left on the island try to figure out what their next step should be. Daniel want to try and figure out where they are in time.

Three years in the future… Hurley buys clothes and narrowly averts being recognized. Kate gets a call from a friend and rushes to meet him/her. Ben tells Jack to go home and pack anything that means anything to him because once they leave he’s never going home again. He says he’ll meet him in six hours. When Jack asks whether or not Locke is dead, Ben doesn’t respond. He just says, “I’ll see you in six hours, Jack.” Hurley shows up at his Dad’s house. (His Dad was totally watching, “Expose,” the show that starred Nicky from the island.)

Hurley’s Dad covers for him with the cops. Kate meets Sun at a hotel, and Ben shows up at a butcher shop where the lady behind the counter agrees to hold on to Locke so I guess he won’t be so stinky and maggoty after all.

Three years in the past, on the island, Asian psychic dude returns from the jungle with a dead boar. He said he found it dead. I’m guessing he used his special connection with the dead ability to find it.

"I'll give you these peanuts if you can tell me my name."

The foreign redhead admits to Daniel that she can’t seem to shake a headache, and earlier couldn’t remember her mother’s maiden name. One of the survivors starts to over-freak out about the group not being able to start a fire when suddenly he has a fiery arrow in his chest. The survivors flee an onslaught of fiery arrows! WTF?!

In the future, Hurley’s father leaves with Sayid hidden in his car. Sun tells Kate that she must do whatever it takes to protect Aaron. Sun remembers that Kate told her to get Aaron on the helicopter and that she, Kate, would go get Jin. We all know how that turned out. Sun assures Kate she doesn’t blame her. Hurley’s father takes Sayid to Jack and warns him to leave Hurley alone. Jack calls Ben and tells him he has Sayid Ben’s eyes go wide… er… wider than usual. Hurley tells his mother the truth about what happened on the island. She says she doesn’t understand, but she believes his crazy ass.

Three years ago, on the island, Sawyer and Juliet encounter some men with guns who threaten to cut off Juliet’s hand if they don’t explain what they’re doing there. Guess they have knives too.

In the future, Jack takes Sayid to a hospital and gets him to wake up. Sayid is concerned that Hurley is now vulnerable. Ben shows up at Hurley’s house and tries to convince him he’s working with Jack and Sayid. Remembering what Sayid said about trusting Ben, Hurley runs out to turn himself in to the cops watching his house instead. Ben looks on like, “Dumbass.”

Locke comes out of the shadows all Jungle Badass and saves Sawyer and Juliet’s asses… and her hand.

Meanwhile, in the future, a cloaked woman is working on formulas on a blackboard, and typing into a computer. A weird pendulum swings leaving markings on the floor. She makes her way up to a church where Ben is waiting. He explains he’s having difficulty gathering everyone, but she warns he only has 70 hours. She’s the woman from the jewelry store! Ben asks what would happen if he can’t get them to return to the island.

“Then God help us all.”

So, what did you guys think? Predictions? Questions? More importantly, when do we get to see the smoke monster again?!

Me thinks that woman at the end may be Daniel’s mother.