Lost – S6, Epis. 1 & 2 “LA X (Parts 1&2)

Previously on Lost: Click here to read my recap of the 5th season’s finale.

And now…

First off, I can’t believe they showed a “previously on Lost” clip when they just spent the previous hour telling us what happened previously! Get on with it!

So Juliet hits the bomb with a rock and BAM!…

Jack’s on the plane and he and the stewardess that became a creepy brainwashed Other have the same conversation about his weak drink. Then Jack and Rose have the same conversation about Bernard in the bathroom and the plane gets all shaky and groany, but … nothing happens.

Deja vu all over again.

Bernard comes from the bathroom and he and Rose have a tender moment. Awww. I love Rose and Bernard and wish they were around more.

Jack goes to the bathroom and notices a bruise on his neck. He’s all WTF? And I’m all WTF? too.

When he comes back to his seat, Desmond is sitting in his row. Ruh-roh. That’s different. Jack feels like he knows Desmond, but doesn’t remember that he’s the jogger from before he fixed his wife or that he’s the guy in the hatch because in THIS reality, Jack never heard of no frakkin’ hatch. But I digress.

The plane flies on and below it, like WAY below it, like under the fucking ocean below it, is the island – the Dharma camp, the creepy four-toed foot statue, everything.

Damn.

So, now we’re back to when Jack drops the bomb. AGAIN! I feel like I’ve seen this scene like, fifty times already! OK, so I watched the finale about 50 times so that makes sense… don’t judge me.

Anyway, Juliet hits the bomb, things go white and silent and Kate wakes up, at night, in a tree with ringing in her ears. She’s all freaking out and I’m super annoyed by the ringing/underwater sound. This is not why I have surround sound, people!

She drops out of the tree and thankfully, her hearing returns, but I swear I can still hear the buzzing. Damn Lost. She starts wandering around the jungle and finds Miles. I love Miles.

They find wreckage and realize that it’s the Swan site AFTER Desmond blew it up which means they are back in current time. Jack and Sawyer are there too all knocked out and stuff. Jack doesn’t understand how the hatch was built if they blew it up in 1977. Sawyer is shitty and kicks Jack in the face. Kate gets between her two mens and I’m hoping she catches a flying fist, but no such luck.

Yum.

Back on the plane, Jack goes to the bathroom (again.. he has the bladder of a 90-year-old) and sees the agent transporting Kate, who’s in the bathroom. She comes out, bumps into Jack, and he’s all atwitter. The agent leads her back to her seat. Sawyer walks by and knocks into the agent. Kate hides her handcuffs under her food tray. Little does she know, a man like Sawyer don’t care.

Arnst, (remember him?) is bugging Hurley. He recognizes him from his chicken franchise commercials. Hurley reveals that he won the lottery, liked chicken, and so he bought the company. I would totally do that. Except I’d buy Christian Louboutin.

Anyway, Sawyer is all, “don’t tell people you won the lottery cause people like me might try to jack yo shit,” and Hurley is all, “I’m the luckiest bastard ever.” That’s different too.

Hurley and Jin wake up with a knocked out Sayid. Jin knows they time traveled. They hear Sawyer yelling nearby and Jin goes for help. Kate hears someone calling for help under the rubble. It’s Juliet.

Back at the van, Hurley is about to hurl as Sayid coughs up blood. Sayid is convinced he’s about to die and go to hell since he lived his life as a badass torturing P.I.M.P. Hurley hears someone moving around in the jungle, grabs a gun that he can’t even load, and goes to investigate.

He finds… Jacob!

Back on the plane, Sun watches how affectionate Rose and Bernard are. Jin tells her to button her shirt. Apparently, in this reality, he’s still a controlling dick and not the Jin I came to adore.

Locke and Boone talk about why they were in Australia. Boone says he went to get his sister out of a bad relationship, but she didn’t want out. He doesn’t mention the whole boning his sister thing ’cause that’s not the kind of thing you tell someone you just met.

I'm all for any plot twist that brings back yummy Boone. How great is he on Vampire Diaries?

Anyway, that’s different too, cause she was on the plane. Maybe Maggie was off making Taken 2 and couldn’t make it back for the final season. Who knows?

Locke lies and says he went on a walkabout. At this point I’m incredibly sad because I love Locke, I miss him, and I’m sorry he’s dead and inhabited by creepy MIB (Man In Black.) Locke and Boone bond some more.

On the island, Evil Locke/MIB cleans the knife that killed Jacob. Jacob’s body is gone. Ben is confused by the fact that Jacob didn’t fight back. Evil Locke wants Ben to go outside and get sexy ass Richard. Who, you guessed it, is…

Still young and sexy.

Richard is outside arguing with Elena and Jimmy Kimmel. Sun questions Lapidus about who Elena and crew are. He says all he knows is, they claim to be good guys, they were on the flight that was supposed to take them back to the island, and they had Locke in a box. He’s not so sure they’re good.

Ben comes out and tells Richard that Locke wants to see him. Elena asks if Jacob is alright. Ben is all, “Who are you?” Richard grips up Ben and shows him Locke’s dead body. Ben is all, WTF?

Sawyer, Jin, Miles, Jack and Kate start moving the debris to get Juliet out. Jin leaves to get the van with the chains to move the last heavy beam.

Hurley follows Jacob back to the van. Hurley has questions, but Jacob ain’t answering. He’s looking over Sayid. Jacob tells Hurley that Jin won’t be able to see him since he died an hour ago. Hurley’s having a Bruce Willis moment. Jacob tells Hurley he was killed my an old friend who grew tired of his company.

Jacob tells Hurley he has to take Sayid and the others to the temple. Jin will know the temple from the time he was time traveling w/ the French team. Going to the temple will save Sayid and keep the others safe. Jacob asks if Hurley still has the guitar case, Hurley says yes. Jin shows up and Jacob disappears.

As they drive to help Juliet, Hurley asks Jin if he knows about the hole in the wall w/ the French team. Jin says yes and Hurley seems relieved that he’s not COMPLETELY crazy.

Sawyer is worried that Juliet is no longer calling for them. He says he’ll kill Jack if she dies. Jin and Hurley show up with the van and chains and I can’t believe that van can move that beam, but whatever.

Back on the plane, the stewardess wants to know if there’s a doctor in the hizzouse. Someone has locked himself in the bathroom and won’t answer. They can’t get the door open. Sayid is all, “Perhaps I can be of assistance,” then kicks in the door cause that’s what PIMPs do.

P.I.M.P

They find Charlie. And he’s not breathing.

Sayid and the stewardess (Tina?… the one who becomes a brainwashed Other) try to help Jack save Charlie. He needs a pen to cut into Charlie’s throat to get whatever is lodged in there, but his pen is missing. (Kate five-fingered it when she bumped into him.) Jack uses his hands to dislodge the baggie of heroin. Sayid has a look on his face like, “Fucking white people.”

Back on the island, the beam is moved and Sawyer makes his way down to Juliet. She wakes up and realizes they are still on the island. She tells Sawyer she hit the bomb and they’re still there. She tells him she did that so that Sawyer could go home. He says he’s gonna get her out and take her home.

Jack tells the others that he can’t save Sayid. Hurley tells them about going to temple because Jacob said so. Jack is all, “Who’s Jacob?” And Hurley is all, “Um, you can’t fix him so shut up and listen.”

Richard wants to know what happened inside, but Ben ain’t talking. He’s all freaked out about seeing dead Locke. Jimmy Kimmel snatches Ben up and tells him they’re going in and so is he.

Inside, Evil Locke wants to know where Richard is, but Ben says Richard ain’t coming. Jimmy Kimmel demands to know what happened to Jacob. Evil Locke tells him that Jacob is dead and so they no longer have to worry about protecting him. Jimmy Kimmel shoots Evil Locke who momentarily gets a, “Oh, no you didn’t!” look on his face. Then he disappears and all they find is a bent bullet. Ben hides like a pussy.

The smoke monster shows up and starts slamming mofos around as it is want to do. Jimmy Kimmel, shaking like a junkie, has the presence of mind to make a protective ash circle around himself. Unfortunately, the smoke monster has the presence of mind to hit the ceiling, causing debris to fall on Jimmy Kimmel which in turn causes Jimmy Kimmel to fall outside of said protective ash circle. He is quickly manhandled by the smoke monster. The monster leaves and Ben shits his pants.

When he crawls out from his hiding place, Ben sees Evil Locke who tells him, “I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

Say what?

I’ve always predicted that the island/smoke monster could take the form of dead bodies on the island (Eko’s brother, Christian, Alex, now Locke.) I thought there might be a connection between MIB and the smoke monster, but I didn’t know they were THAT connected.

This doesn’t explain (yet) Juliet calling it their security system, it sparing Locke the first season and Eko once after that. Nor does it explain (yet) Ben knowing how to summon it to kill the mercenaries that killed his daughter. They got 14 more hours to clear THAT up.

Sawyer tries to lift the crap off of Juliet. She’s crying out in pain. He cradles her and tells her that he’s gonna get her out. She starts talking crazy about going out for coffee and going dutch… I think that’s part of a convo she had with Jack… not sure. They kiss and she says she has to tell him something really, really, important.

Then she dies. Don’t you hate when that happens? (James, don’t worry. She has a job on V!)

He comes carrying her out of the wreckage shooting death eyes at Jack. “You did this.” Ruh-roh.

On the plane, Charlie is put in handcuffs. He tells Jack he should have let it happen. “I was supposed to die.” True dat. Jack goes back to his seat and wonders what happened to Desmond who has disappeared. (Time traveling again, perhaps?)

Now we get a slo-mo montage with that sad piano/string music Lost does so well. Everyone is preparing for the plane’s landing at LAX. Sayid looks at the picture of Nadia, Kate watches as he police bypass her to arrest Charlie, Boone and Locke shake hands. Locke and Jack are last to leave and Jack watches as Locke is assisted into his wheelchair.

I feel really sad because as we watch this alternate reality unfold, I can’t help but think of all they’ve been through: Jack and Kate crying after Ethan killed Charlie and Jack finally bringing him back to life, Boone dying after finding the drug plane, Sayid loving and losing Shannon, etc.

Back on the island, it’s morning and Sawyer prepares to bury Juliet. He asks Miles to stay behind and I just know he’s gonna be all, “Hey, what was Juliet about to tell me?” Kate offers to leave a trail so they can follow them to the temple, but Sawyer ain’t having it.

At the airport, Jack is paged to the courtesy desk. Oceanic has lost his Dad’s body. For reals.

On the island, Jack and crew show up at the temple. I’m so glad they’re getting down to it tonight instead of making this stretch several episodes. They quickly realize they’re gonna have to take Sayid down the hole in the wall and get to business. They find the Frenchman’s armless corpse. Remember what a douche he was? Jin explains how he lost the arm.

They continue to make their way down. Kate hears the whispers and then disappears. As they try to find her, they’re all eventually jumped and gripped up. Armed Others lead them to the temple.

At the airport, Kate tells the agent she has to go to the bathroom. He waits outside the stall as she goes, but she’s really using Jack’s pen to take off her cuffs. He gets impatient and finds the spring coil to the pen she dropped. She rushes the door and knocks him down. She grabs his gun and covers the cuffs as two women enter the bathroom. She tells them that he came in and attacked her before rushing out.

Kate gets on an elevator with Sawyer who notices the handcuffs. He covers for her when two airport security guards get on by letting Kate exit the elevator first.

On the island, Sawyer asks Miles what Juliet wanted to tell him. Miles refuses, but Sawyer is very persuasive. Miles does his mojo and tells Sawyer that Juliet wanted to tell him that, “it worked.” Sawyer is disappointed. So are we. We know it worked! Kinda. Sorta. But the real question is, how did Juliet know?

Jack and crew approach the temple and out walks every bad guy in every kung-fu movie I’ve ever seen. And he’s kinda dressed like Prince. He asks (in another language) who they are and the brainwashed stewardess reveals they were on flight 815. He orders them shot. Hurley yells out that Jacob sent them and this causes Prince to pause. He wants Hurley to prove it and Hurley tells him that Jacob gave him the guitar case. He hedges about whether or not he looked inside.

Prince opens the case and finds a huge wooden ankh… which he breaks in half to reveal a piece of paper. His translator asks their names, and one by one they tell him. This seems to be enough for Prince and they’re allowed to come in. Hurley wants to know what the paper said. The translator says that the paper said that if Sayid dies, their asses are grass.

At the airport, Sun and Jin are detained at customs. Jin has a whole lotta cash that he didn’t declare so he’s gripped up. A female officer tells Sun that if she can speak English and clear this up, she should. Sun lies and says she doesn’t speak English.

On the island, Jack and crew are brought into the temple and taken to a pool. Prince and his men are surprised to find that the water inside isn’t clear. Prince cuts his hand open and places it into the water. Then they put Sayid in the water. Dude, that’s not sanitary. I’m just sayin’.

Oh, before that though, Prince wants to know who hurt Sayid. Jack says he didn’t shoot him, but its his fault. Jack carries the weight of the world like no one else, doesn’t he? They tell Jack that there will be risks then commence with the Sayid baptism/resurrection. Prince turns over a giant hourglass as Sayid is held under water. Sayid starts thrashing about and everyone wants him brought up but Prince refuses until the sand has run out. When it has, and he’s brought up, Sayid is dead.

Well, that was a waste of time.

Jack tries CPR and Kate tells him to stop cause she’s annoying. Remember the last time he was doing CPR on someone and you told him to stop? It was Charlie and it worked so back the hell off!

It doesn’t work.

At the airport, Kate watches as an airport employee enters a code to go into a restricted area. She follows and makes her way up to the taxi stand. She tries to snatch a cab, but that annoying guy that got hit with flying arrows (he was sleeping on the plane between Boone and Locke) makes her wait in line. Of course, the agent shows up before she can get away. She hops in a cab and demands the driver to go at gunpoint. The cab already has a fare. Claire.

On the island, everyone is sitting around the murky pool when Miles and Sawyer are brought in. They were jumped in the jungle by the temple Others. Prince wants to see Hurley.

Hurley realizes that only what Prince says is translated which means Prince speaks English. Prince says he doesn’t like the way English tastes on his tongue. Good enough. Hurley tells Prince that Jacob is dead. Prince and the translator lose their shit. They start sounding alarms and pouring ash around the temple. They send up super flares. Seems this is the kind of info Hurley shoulda dropped first. The translator explains this is all to keep “him” out.

Hurley is all, “Him who?”

Evil Locke is moving around the dead bodies of Jacob’s protectors. Ben realizes that Evil Locke used him to kill Jacob because he couldn’t do it himself. Evil Locke tells Ben he didn’t make him do anything. He then tells Ben that John Locke was very confused when Ben killed him. He tells him that Locke’s last thought was, “I don’t understand.” I agree with Evil Locke. That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

Evil Locke explains that John was weak, confused, and broken. Yet, he was admirable because he was the only one that didn’t want to leave the island. He realized how pitiful his life was, and wanted to stay. Ben wants to know what Evil Locke wants. He says he wants the opposite of the real Locke: he wants to go home.

In the temple, Hurley says goodbye to Sayid and tells him that if he ever wants to talk, he’s around. Miles is looking at Sayid suspicious like, but won’t say why when Hurley calls him on it.

Sawyer wakes up and asks if they’ve been caught by The Others again. Kate says yes, but that this time they’re protecting them. He shoots death eyes at Jack again, but tells Kate he’s not gonna kill Jack. He says that Jack deserves to suffer on the island with the rest of them.

At the airport, Jack is on the phone with his Mom explaining what happened to his Dad. When he gets off the phone, Locke is there. They lost one of his bags. He asks what they lost that belongs to Jack. Jack explains. Locke gets all deep on him and explains that they just lost his father’s body, not him. All Locke lost was his bag o’ knives. Jack asks about Locke’s condition and offers him his card and a free consult.

On the island, Richard, Sun, Lapidus, Ilana (just found the correct spelling her name and too lazy to go back and change it) and the gang see the super flares. Evil Locke and Ben exit the statue. Evil Locke says to Richard that it’s good to see him out of those chains.

“You?” Richard asks.

“Me.” Evil Locke says. Then he hits Richard in the throat and knocks him out. This causes Donny to laugh his ass off. I laugh too cause it’s always funny to see someone hit in the throat. It just is.

Evil Locke says he’s very disappointed in all of them. Then he picks up Richard and walks off passing Locke’s dead body on the beach.

I love this show!!

At the temple, the translator says they need to speak to Jack privately. Jack ain’t budging. They threaten to drag him out and Jack is all, “Let’s do this, Brutus.” As they scuffle around Hurley and the translator nearly lose their shit because….

Sayid is alive! And awake!

“What happened?” he asks.

***

Here were my questions at the end of last season. Let’s see what, if anything, has been cleared up.

1. Bad man in black has been the one in the cabin and directing Locke and the others when he appeared as Christian, Eko’s brother, Locke and Alex.

Maybe not. I mean, he could have been the one in there posing as Christian but what the hell did he want with Claire? The ash was disturbed so he obviously got out. But how?

2. Are they Gods?

Still don’t know. Representations of good and evil maybe?

3. Bad man in black accussed Jacob of bringing the people on the ship to the island. Did he also bring flight 815 and Desmond and everyone else that ended up there?

I still contend that everyone that found their way to the island was either brought there or ended up there (fate) for a reason.

4. Are the smoke monster and the bad man in black connected? I think so.

Yeah! I was right.

5. Why would the original, indigenous, Others become Dharma to begin with? And again, who has been funding them once Ben killed all the original DI people? Well, all except Ethan.

This has yet to be answered, but they have three months to do it.

6. How does this explosion change what we already know? What has it erased? Has it negated what just happened in the tomb under the statue?

Apparently, the explosion changed nothing on the island except jolting Jack, Jin, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, Sawyer, Juliet, and Miles into present day. It seems to have also created an alternate reality where the plan landed in Los Angeles, but as we see, it seems that the main characters were fated to be connected in some way… even before they left the plane!

7. What the hell did Richard say in Latin?

Still don’t know, but I’m sure it’s on the internet. Someone may have responded to this in the comments of the season finale blog. I’ll look later.

8. Will we ever see Rose and Bernard again? Or Claire?

Yes and yes!

I think we’re about to enter in to some good vs. evil/Gods-type storylines. And I love it!

I really wouldn’t mind seeing these two realities play out for the final season. This means that, hopefully, my Locke gets to live and walk. He deserves a better ending than the one the first reality gave him!

So, what did you think of the season premiere? Loved it? Hated it? Share your theories and predictions below.