Lost S6 – Epi. 16 “The End”

I just want to start off by saying that I get it. I get it. I got it. I wasn’t always getting it. In fact, at least 45 minutes before the end I kept saying to Donny, “I don’t get it! Where are they going?! I get everything else, but where are they going?” Then, Jack asked one question and was met with a question in return, and I got it.

I know there are people that will complain they didn’t answer any questions in the finale. Well, they answered damn near all of the questions in the episodes leading up to the finale. I told Donny last week, “I think we pretty much got all the answers we’re gonna get.” Last night’s episode was really only going to answer one: how does it all end?

I think those that didn’t have the ability or desire to watch all the previous episodes will feel like there were too many loose threads. Not only have I seen every episode when they originally aired, I watched the majority of them again immediately after that to write about them and sometimes just because they were awesome. Then, we’d watch previous seasons before a new season began. Finally, we spent the last few weeks watching seasons 1-5. I would advise those that are still confused to do that. Because, honestly, I can’t imagine what people are still confused about.

ALL OF THAT SAID, I’m now gonna give my interpretation of what happened last night then I’ll do the recap (highlighting key areas that support why I think the way I do.) I read interviews with the stars and creators where they stated the ending would be open to interpretation in areas and I prepared myself to be disappointed. I was not.

When Juliet detonated Jughead it didn’t blow up the island, but instead time traveled the candidates back to the present where they were needed. I would even argue that maybe the bomb didn’t even detonate. Jin told Hurley (who had never experienced time travel on the island) that they had time traveled because of the light, noise, and headache. Maybe Jacob or the island itself intervened to bring the candidates where they belonged: in the present day where the island’s current protector was recently murdered. And if it did actually detonate, maybe it didn’t react the same way because of the island’s properties. I am leaning towards it never really detonating.

And I don’t think we can call the other “reality” the sideways world anymore. Clearly, that’s not what it was. It’s what we assumed it was. Just like in the season 3 finale we assumed the off-island clips we were shown were flashbacks, and they turned out to be flash forwards. But for the sake of this blog, I will continue to refer to it that way to avoid (further) confusion.

What happened, happened. They were transported back to present day, John Locke’s body was taken over by the Man in Black. Due to Jacob’s death, he was no longer able to take on different forms other than John Locke and the black smoke. He needed to kill the candidates in order to leave. No protector for the island meant no one to stop him from leaving it – his goal for centuries.

Meanwhile we were seeing this sort of purgatory that the plane crash survivors had fashioned for themselves based on the fact that their time together on that island profoundly changed their lives. As Christian Shepherd said, it was the most important time of any of their lives. They made a place where they could continue to live the lives they should have – had the island never existed past 1977.

Think about it, for Ben it was a world in which what happened to him on the island (being shot by Sayid, healed at the temple) was so traumatic, it caused his father to finally be a real father to him. They left the island in the evacuation and he grew up to be the man we saw. For Locke, it was a world in which Helen didn’t die of a brain aneurysm and agreed to marry him. I’m happy that even in his “purgatory world” his no good father still got what he deserved – he was a drooling vegetable. Jack was a father and able to do what he and his own father was able to achieve in life – heal and repair the relationship with his son. Hurley still won the lottery, but instead of it bringing him nothing but bad luck, it brought him joy.

There were still, for obvious reasons, ties to the lives they had truly lived. Think about when you dream. We create our dreams, but they are still limited to what we know. Like, if you don’t know quantum physics, but dream that you are a quantum physicist, you’re not busting out equations in your dreams because in your life you don’t know any! They also peppered this world with people they had encountered in their lives. George, the limo driver, was the man that died on the freighter because he didn’t have a constant. Desmond inserted him in his purgatory. The mercenaries that killed Ben’s daughter were the bad guys Sayid took out for shaking down his brother. And on and on and on….

What we saw in this sideways purgatory wasn’t happening concurrently with the actions on the island. As Christian said, there was no time there. Charlie was the first to get a “feeling” that something wasn’t right when he almost “died” on the plane. One by one, they were awakened, enlightened, whatever you want to call it. They became aware that, “Oh, we’re dead. And if we so choose, it’s time to move on.” Remember that Desmond said that Ana Lucia wasn’t “ready yet” and Ben still needed more time to process before he entered the church?

I think it’s very important that people get that there was no real time in this sideways/purgatory world. What you saw at the end wasn’t everyone dying. Juliet died in present time in Sawyer’s arms on the island even having flashes (deja vu, maybe?) of that moment of awakening in the sideways/purgatory world. “We should get coffee sometime…. we can go dutch.” Charlie died turning off the jamming signal. Jack died restoring the island after being stabbed by evil Locke. We don’t know how or when Kate, Sawyer, Miles, Hurley and Ben died. Again, Christian said that some of the people in the church died before him (Charlie, the Kwons, Sayid, Juliet, Locke, Boone, Shannon, etc.) and some long after him (Kate, Sawyer, Bernard, Rose, Hurley, etc.)

One of the things I found beautiful was that when everyone became “aware” there was no, “Oh, my God! What happened to you?” That should have been everyone’s first tip off. When they became aware, they knew, we are dead and this is the beginning of our afterlife and all you saw was joy, relief, love, acceptance and peace. Go back and watch the moment the Kwons got it. Go back and watch when Juliet got it. Check out when Kate said to Jack, “I’ve missed you so much, Jack.” For all we know, she lived to be 80 and is “seeing” her Jack again for the first time since leaving him on the island.

I just thought of the perfect example to explain what I’m talking about. Remember the end of The Titanic? Rose dies as an old lady in her sleep. Jack died decades before in the water when her selfish ass wouldn’t even take turns with him on the floating door. When she died, where did she go? Back to that ship that changed her life, back to Jack who looked as he did when she knew him, surrounded by the people that were there and shared that experience and she looked as she did then. Get it now?

My friend Mary summed it up perfectly: it was a place of gathering and waiting. A place they created so they could all find each other.

OK.. Now here’s the recap:

Previously on Lost: Jacob tells Jack where to find the heart of the island and makes him the protector. Locke says he’s going to find Desmond and use him to destroy the island. In the sideways world, Desmond starts gathering the plane survivors together.

And now…

The crate carrying Christian Shepherd’s coffin arrives in Los Angeles as Jack sits in his office at the hospital. Dr. Ben Linus begins his day at school while Ben on the island gets ready to help Locke. Detective Sawyer starts his day at the precinct while island Sawyer helps Kate dress her wound. In Los Angeles, Kate watches at Christian’s coffin arrives at a church.

Desmond signs for the coffin and instructs the delivery guy to deliver it in the back. He then gets in the car with Kate who wants to know who died. She scoffs at the name Christian Shepherd. He tells her that he’s her friend whether she realizes it or not. He also says that he wants to leave. (You know, move on.)

On the island, Jack fills Sawyer, Kate and Hurley in on the heart of the island and where it’s located. Sawyer offers to go fetch Desmond when they realize that Locke is going to need him. At this point, I’m all, “Noooo, don’t separate!” Hurley says he has a bad feeling about this and I kinda agree.

In Los Angeles, Hurley takes Sayid to the motel where Sayid kicked ass after breaking Hurley out of the insane asylum. He instructs Sayid to wait in the car while he goes up to a room. Charlie’s there, drunk and surly. Hurley tells him he’s there to take him to the concert, but Charlie ain’t having it. Hurley tells him it will be the most important thing he’s ever done. Charlie still won’t go. Hurley shoots him with a tranquilizer gun and puts him in the back of the car.

“What was that?” Sayid asked.

“That was Charlie.”

On the island, Kate wants to know why Jack took the job. He says he had to. They share some mushy talk and Hurley tells them it would all be really sweet if they weren’t all about to die.

Sawyer gets busted by Ben as he spies on Locke. He realizes that Desmond is gone, pops Ben in the face and leaves but not before hinting to Locke that they are no longer candidates. Ben is pissed cause he realizes that Locke LITERALLY meant he was destroying the island. Locke realizes there are dog prints leading away from the well.

Desmond wakes up at Bernard and Rose’s house. Bernard goes off to get breakfast. Rose explains they built the house in 1975, lived there a few years, but the sky lit up so she doesn’t know what year it is. She tells Desmond that after he eats, he gotta get the hell up outta there. They don’t want no parts of no drama. Bernard returns followed by Ben and Locke. Locke tells Desmond that if he doesn’t go with him, he’ll kill Rose and Bernard.

Rose is all, “You don’t have to go anywhere with him.”

Rose is gangsta!

Desmond agrees after Locke gives his word that he won’t harm them.

Locke asks Desmond if he knows where they are going. Desmond assumes it’s a place with a really bright light. Ben’s walkie-talkie goes off.

“What was that?” Locke wants to know.

“What was what?” Ben asks.

Ben is awesome.

It’s Miles. He’s trying to let Ben know that he found Richard. Richard wakes up and tells Miles they need to go blow up the plane.

Um, why is he on LAST WEEK’S plan?

In Los Angeles, Miles shows up at his father’s benefit concert and sees Sayid in Hurley’s car as they are dropping off Charlie. He calls Sawyer and tells him and they agree that someone should check in on Sun, the only witness to the shootout at the restaurant.

At the hospital, Sun and Jin are in the hospital when Juliet arrives to give Sun a sonogram. When she does, Sun gets memories of her life. When Jin looks at the sonogram, his memories return. I’m a big crying mess at this point. Juliet remains confused.

On the island, Sawyer catches up with Hurley, Jack and Kate. Jack tells them that it doesn’t matter if Locke finds Desmond or not – they’re all headed to the same place anyway.

In Los Angeles, Jack prepares to operate on Locke. He is confident that the procedure will work.

On the island, Miles and Richard prepare to paddle over to Hydra island. Miles notices that Richard now has his first grey hair. This means he’s finally aging and Richard realizes he wants to live. As they paddle over, they find Lapidus on a flotation device. He tells them they really shouldn’t blow up the plane since he’s a pilot and might need it.

Locke and his crew meet up with Jack and his peeps on their way to the light. Kate immediately starts shooting at Locke – Ben and Desmond hit the dirt and I crack up laughing. Locke tells Kate to save her bullets. Locke realizes that Jack is the replacement and thinks it’s an obvious choice for Jacob, but Jack tells him he volunteered. Jack says they’re all going to the light and when they get there, he’s gonna kill Locke.

Everyone is all, “Oh, snap!!”

In Los Angeles, Jack and Juliet are at the hospital. Turns out, they used to be married and Juliet is the mother of Jack’s son. Sawyer shows up to see Sun.

On the island, Jack tells Sawyer he thinks Jacob had Desmond brought there because he’s a weapon to defeat Locke. He’s not sure how though. Sawyer comments, “That’s a long con.” And I agree. But it makes sense. As they approach the bamboo field, Locke says it should just be him, Jack and Desmond from there on. Before they go, Hurley tells Jack he believes in him.

Oh, and as if that’s not enough, there’s a storm coming.

As Jack ties Desmond to the rope that will lower him into the light, Desmond tells Jack that when he goes into that light he’s gonna go to a better place. A place where their loved ones are, and where they don’t have to think about the island. He tells Jack he’s in that place to. They sat next to each other on the plane. He wonders if he can take Jack there too.

Jack says that what happened, happened and there are no do-overs. This needs to be done. Then the three of them prepare to go into the cave.

In Los Angeles, Hurley and Sayid sit outside a bar. Hurley says that there are rules so he can’t tell Sayid what’s going on, but he wants Sayid to trust him. He tells Sayid that he knows he’s a good guy. Sayid says that Hurley doesn’t know anything him, but Hurley says he knows a lot about him. Tow guys come out of the bar fighting. A girl runs out. “Leave my brother alone!” She gets pushed to the ground. Sayid rushes out to help her and … it’s Shannon! They each have flashes where they remember their lives together. And I’m a crying mess again!

Boone runs over and we realize it was all a plan to get Shannon and Sayid to remember. Apparently, Boone has already been enlightened.

On the island, Miles radios Ben and tells him, Kate and Sawyer that they have Lapidus and they’re gonna get the plane up and running. Claire shows up and acts all crazy again. She thinks they’re there to kill her for Locke. They tell her they’re not, that they’re gonna fix the plane and leave, but she refuses to go with them.

Locke and Jack lower Desmond into the cave. Locke wants to reminisce, but Jack points out that it’s not really Locke and that he disrespects Locke’s memory by wearing his face.

In Los Angeles, Juliet has to leave the benefit to go back to the hospital. She leaves David with Claire. Backstage, Charlotte wakes up Charlie because it’s time for him to perform. Daniel sees Charlotte and is immediately smitten. They don’t have a flash moment though because this isn’t about them. Perhaps they’ll have their own time.

Kate is shocked to see Claire at her table with Desmond. They sit down as the concert begins. Daniel and Drive Shaft take the stage and when Charlie sees Claire, he can’t stop staring. She is like, “Why is this creepy heroin boy staring at me? Oh, and also, I’m in labor.”

On the island, Desmond goes into this big of light and removes a stone from a hole in the middle of it. Everything goes dark, and the water into the pool stops flowing. The island starts to shake and the earth underneath glows red.

“It looks like you were wrong. Goodbye, Jack.”

Ruh-roh.

Jack goes to stop him by kicking his ass. It seems that whatever Desmond did, made him mortal and Locke can now bleed. (Wow, it was a long con.) When Locke realizes this, he busts Jack in the head with a rock and hauls ass.

In Los Angeles, Kate helps Claire backstage as her labor progresses. Eloise Faraday Widmore approaches Desmond’s table and says, “I thought I told you to stop this.” She wants to know what happens when everyone knows. Desmond says, “Then we’re leaving.” She asks if he’s going to take Daniel. “Not with me.”

See, she’s not ready for her son to move on.

Kate delivers Aaron and she and Claire remember. When Charlie shows up with a blanket, Claire takes his hand and then he remembers too.

Do I even need to say that I lost my shit?

Desmond walks up and asks Kate, “Do you understand?”

She asks, “Now what?

On the island, it’s raining and everything is going to hell. Ben pushes Hurley out of the way of a falling tree and gets pinned. Jack wakes up and heads to the cave looking for Desmond. He then goes after Locke.

Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley try to free Ben. Miles calls on the walkie and tells them they need to get their asses to the plane. Ben says they can take Locke’s boat. Yeah, after they get you from under that damn tree.

Locke is cliffside, looking out at his boat and preparing to leave when Jack shows up.

“LOCKE!”

He turns, sees Jack, and pulls out that big ass knife. They run at each other, one going down hill, the other heading up, in the rain. The scene cuts just as Jack jumps at him Gladiator-style.

Awesome.

They fight on the cliff. Locke stabs Jack and that explains his sideways self having a scar that he didn’t remember. Locke starts to cut Jack’s throat (also explaining those wounds) when Kate shows up, shooting Locke in the back.

“I saved you a bullet.”

As the island continues to shake, Locke tells Jack, “You’re too late.” Jack kicks him over the edge.

In Los Angeles, Jack and a nurse are wheeling Locke to his recovery room. The nurse asks why Jack’s neck is bleeding. After Locke is put into his bed, he starts to wake up. He tells Jack that he can feel his legs. Jack says this is unlikely. He moves the sheet back and watches as Locke wiggles his toes. When Locke does, he remembers everything. Jack doesn’t yet, even though he got a small flash of looking down the hatch with Locke. He’s still not ready.

Locke tells him they need to go, but Jack says he needs to see his son. Locke points out that Jack doesn’t have one. Locke tells Jack that he hopes someone does for him what Jack just did for Locke.

On the island, the rain has stopped, but the island is still sinking. The rope ladder leading to the ocean is all jacked up. Jack is bleeding badly.

In Los Angeles, Sawyer finds Sun and Jin’s room. They are preparing to leave. They are also amused that Sawyer is a detective. He shows them a pic of Sayid and Sun assures Sawyer that she is safe. As they leave, Jin tells Sawyer, “We’ll see you there.”

“See me where?!”

On the island, Lapidus gives Miles some duct tape and a manual to fix the hydraulics. Lapidus is all business and wont even talk to Ben on the walkie talkie. He tosses it into the co-pilot’s seat. Jack tells Sawyer to get Kate on the boat and to the plane. Ben gives the walkie to Sawyer and says if the island is going down, he’s going down with it. Hurley also wants to stay with Jack.

Jack tells Kate to get Claire on the plane. She wants Jack to tell her she will see him again, but he can’t. They kiss and tell each other they love one another and then he leaves with Ben and Hurley.

I hope people get that that was the last time they ever saw each other alive.

Miles is working on the plane with Richard. “I don’t believe in a lot of things, but I believe in duct tape.” Ha!

Sawyer radios Lapidus and tells him to wait for them. He says, “We’re getting off the ground while there’s still ground.” And tosses the radio aside… AGAIN!

“Son of a bitch!” That may be his last Son of a Bitch of the series.

In Los Angeles, Sawyer gets directions to the vending machines from Jack and is fighting with the vending machine, which refuses to drop his Apollo bar, when Juliet shows up.

She tells him that if he unplugs it and plugs it back in, it will give him the candy. He mistakenly unplugs the lights instead. When she hands him the candy bar, they each remember short flashes.

She says, “We should get coffee sometime…”

“I’d love to, but the machine ate my dollar. I only got one left.”

“We can go dutch.”

They hug, kiss, and cry and I nearly vomit from crying so hard.

In Los Angeles, Jack shows up after the concert has ended. Kate is there and Jack realizes that he knows her. She tells him that she stole his pen on the flight from Australia, but that’s not where she knows him from. She touches his face and he gets short flashes.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

He wants to know what is happening to him and she tells him she can show him if he’ll go with her.

On the island, Ben, Jack and Hurley make it back to the cave with the light. Hurley realizes that Jack is going to put the light back on, but die in the process. Jack tells Hurley that it needs to be him to protect the island. Jack’s purpose was to kill Locke and then fix the island. Hurley’s purpose was to protect it. Jack gets Hurley to drink some of the water and Hurley becomes like Jack. Ben and Hurley lower Jack down into the cave.

Lapidus gets the plane running.

Jack ties Desmond to the rope and tells him he’s done his job. He needs to go home to his wife and son. Jack will handle putting the light back on. “See you in another life, brutha.”

Kate and Sawyer find Claire on the beach. She doesn’t want to leave because she knows the island made her crazy and she doesn’t want Aaron to see her like that. Kate pretty much smacks the bitch out of her crazy talk and they head for the plane.

Sawyer tries radioing Lapidus, but the walkie is on the floor and Miles and Richard are busy giving him direction on how to back the plane up without hitting trees and shit.

They hit the runway and see Sawyer, Kate and Claire. Richard and Miles help them aboard.

Jack struggles to hold his insides inside as he moves the stone back to the middle of the pool. He finally gets it into place just as the plane is taking off.

Jack lays by the stone as things start to settle down and the water begins to flow again. The light turns back on. He laughs and cries with relief.

In Los Angeles, a cab drops Locke off at the church where Christian’s body was delivered. He’s still in a wheelchair. Ben is sitting outside the church. Locke asks if everyone is already inside. Ben says most of them are. Ben then apologizes for what he did to Locke. He says he was selfish and jealous of John. Because John was special and he wasn’t. Locke forgives Ben. Ben says he still has things to work out and that he’s gonna stay there awhile. He also points out that Locke doesn’t need to be in the chair anymore. Locke stands, says goodbye and walks into the church.

On the island, Ben and Hurley have pulled up Desmond and Ben says that he thinks Desmond is going to be okay. Hurley realizes Jack is gone and that he is now the island’s protector. He asks if Ben will help him out and Ben says he’d be honored to. Ben also points out that Hurley doesn’t have to run things the way Jacob did.

In Los Angeles, Hurley comes out of the church and asks Ben if he’s coming in. Ben says no. Hurley tells him that Ben made a great Number 2. Ben tells Hurley he was a great Number 1.

Kate and Jack arrive and she tells him they are there because it is the church where he was going to have his father’s funeral. She tells him to go around back and she’ll be waiting inside.

On the island, Jack wakes up in the exact spot the Man In Black was washed up on when he died. He stumbles through the jungle.

At the church, Jack enters a room and finds his father’s coffin. As he touches it, he gets the flashes and finally lets go. When he opens the coffin, he finds it empty. His father shows up and tells him that Jack is dead. They (the crash survivors) made that place (sideways world) as a place to meet and move on. This is because they were all so special to one another.

As Jack makes his way into the church, his life on the island comes to an end just as it began – the bamboo field, with his father’s tennis shoe hanging from a piece of bamboo, and Vincent the dog at his side. The Ajira flight soars overhead and he knows his friends made if off the island before he dies.

Everyone at the church embraces and takes seats at the pews. Christian Shepherd exits the church letting in a bright light. They all look at the light, comforted, happy, and at peace.

The final shot is Jack’s eye closing as he dies.

Matthew Fox said that if they did their jobs, the finale would be beautiful.

I think they did their jobs.

What do you think?

Lost – S6 Epi. 12 “The Last Recruit”

Previously on Lost: In Los Angeles, Sawyer busts Kate, Sayid busts caps in all kinds of asses, and Sun gets shot. Desmond runs over Locke. On the island, Jack comes face-to-face with Evil Locke for the first time.

And now…

Evil Locke wants Jack to go off into the woods alone so they can “catch up.” When they’re alone Evil Locke explains that he chose Locke because Locke was foolish enough to believe the island had a purpose for him and then there’s the whole matter of Jack being nice enough to bring Locke’s body back. He also admits to looking like Jack’s father in order to help them find water. He claims that he has only ever wanted to help Jack and the rest leave the island.

In Los Angeles: In the ambulance, on the way to the hospital, Ben explains to the paramedics that Locke was already paralyzed. Locke asks that they call Helen. As he’s being wheeled inside, so is Sun, and in Korean she says, “No… no!” It’s him!,” after seeing Locke.

On the island, Evil Locke and Jack come across Claire in the jungle. Evil Locke displays some manners and leaves them alone to chat. Surprisingly, she is coming off less crazy than usual… her hair still looks a hot ass mess though.

Jack says he hasn’t decided if he’s leaving the island with Evil Locke, but Claire tells him that he has. He already decided the moment he let Evil Locke talk to him.

The next morning (they were in the jungle alone ALL NIGHT?), Sawyer tells Hurley his plan. They’re gonna leave via Widmore’s sub. He says Sayid ain’t coming ’cause his ass is all evil now.

Jack, Evil Locke, and Claire return. Hurley lies and tells Claire she looks great.

In Los Angeles, Sawyer questions Kate at the police station. He reads the list of crimes she’s wanted for and observes that she doesn’t look like a murderer. Kate says she’s not. At this point, in this alternate reality, they’ve never said what she has done or if she is really guilty. Kate figures out that Sawyer didn’t turn her in when he saw her in handcuffs at the airport because he didn’t want anyone to know he was in Australia.

Miles calls Sawyer over to investigate the shooting at the restaurant.They got Sayid on surveillance video and want to find him.

On the island, Kate tells Jack that Sayid is different now. Jack says they’re all different. This would be the perfect time for Kate to be like, “No, this mofo is REALLY different. Like, slashing people’s throats and almost let Claire slash my throat, different!” But she doesn’t say anything cause she’s whack.

Tina Fey (Widmore’s girl) shows up at the camp and says that Evil Locke took something from them and they want it back. He has until nightfall or else Widmore will rain down holy hellfire on their asses. No, really, he can totally send over fire bombs and shit. She leaves Evil Locke with a walkie-talkie, which Locke smashes.

“Oh, well. Here we go.”

For some reason, this makes Jack (my son) laugh his ass off.

In Los Angeles, Desmond approaches Claire in the lobby of the adoption agency. She remembers him from the airport. He tells her he’s seeing a lawyer in the same building and suggests that she go see this lawyer to have some help with the adoption negotiations. He convinces Claire to go see the lawyer because although the whole situation is uber creepy, Desmond is hot and has an accent.

The lawyer is Ilana and  turns out she was looking for Claire already! And if I’m not mistaken,Ilana no longer has an accent.

On the island, Evil Locke informs the group that Widmore is lying about him stealing something. He says they’re gonna go to the other island and get on the plane. He instructs Sawyer to go get the boat (Desmond’s boat) and pulls Sayid aside.

Sawyer snatches up Jack and tells him to break off from Evil Locke’s group as soon as he can and meet them at the boat. He tells him to bring only Sun, Lapidis, and Hurley. Everyone else can get bent and that includes Sayid and Claire’s crazy ass. Sawyer and Kate head off.

Evil Locke instructs Sayid to go and kill Desmond. Sayid is all, “Aight.”

Sayid approaches the well and finds Desmond all jacked up at the bottom of it. Desmond wants to know what Evil Locke offered Sayid. He says he owes him at least that information if he’s gonna shoot him in cold blood. Sayid admits that he will get the woman he loves back even though she’s dead. Sayid believes him because he also died, and Evil Locke brought him back (we better get a better explanation that night by the finale! I’m just saying.) Desmond wants to know what he’s going to tell this woman when she asks what he did to have them be together again. Sayid has no answer.

In Los Angeles, Nadia tries to stall Miles so that Sayid can make a run for it, but Sawyer (literally) trips Sayid up in the back yard and arrests him.

On the island, Sawyer tells Kate the plan and she’s upset that Claire isn’t invited. Sawyer is all, “That bitch is crazy.” Claire still looks skeptical even though four epis ago, Claire tried to kill her. Dumbass.

Claire admits to Jack that she trusts Evil Locke because he’s the only person that didn’t abandon her. Evil Locke notices that Sayid hasn’t caught up to them yet and asks Sun if she has seen him. Sun doesn’t answer because her English went bye-bye. Evil Locke is all, “Oh, that’s mature.” She writes him a note that he did it and he’s like, “Girl, I ain’t do shit to you.” Evil Locke says he’s gonna go back and make sure no one got left behind. Jack takes that opportunity to grab Sun, Lapidis, and Hurley and haul ass. Crazy Claire notices and follows.

Evil Locke finds Sayid and asks if he killed Desmond. Sayid said that he did. He’s clearly lying, but either Evil Locke believes him or doesn’t care.

As everyone is about to get on the boat, Crazy Claire shows up with a gun. Kate tells Claire that she can come too if she puts down the gun. Sawyer is all, “Bitch, is you crazy?” Claire seems to return to her old self and hands over the gun, but quickly goes back to Crazy Town when she eerily predicts that Evil Locke will be mad when he finds out they’re gone.

In Los Angeles, Jack and his son David show up at the lawyer’s office for the reading of Christian’s will. The lawyer is Ilana and she surprises Jack by introducing him to Claire. Claire tells Jack that she’s his sister. Before he can react too much, Jack receives a call. He is needed at the hospital.

On the boat, Jack tells Sawyer that leaving the island doesn’t feel right. Sawyer is all, “If you’re gonna keep up that crazy talk, you can get the hell off my boat.” So, Jack jumps off the boat. Kate loses her shit and says they have to go back for him. Sawyer says, “We’re done going back.”

And I have a feeling that may be the last time those characters see the main island they crashed on.

In Los Angeles, Sun wakes up in the hospital and finds out that the baby is okay. Jack prepares to operate on Locke. He is all super duper surgeon badass after looking at Locke’s x-rays. “I got this, bitches.” (OK, I added the bitches part.) Before he cuts, he realizes that he knows Locke.

On the island, Jack swims ashore and runs into Evil Locke and his band of merry crazymen. Evil Locke surmises that Sawyer took his boat.

As Sawyer and crew arrive on Hydra island, Tina Fey and crew show up and demand they put their hands up. Only Kate doesn’t listen at first. Tina Fey calls the base and tells someone to turn the fences off.

Sun sees Jin for the first time in three years. They run towards each other and I’m like, “I really hope they turned those fences off.” Sun’s English returns as she tells Jin that she loves him and never stopped looking for him. Everyone is all, “Aw, shucks,” except Sawyer who is suddenly very interested in his shoes and Claire who just looks crazier.

Tina Fey gets instructions from Widmore and she and company pull their guns on Sawyer and the rest. She tells someone on the walkie they can fire when ready on Evil Locke. On the other beach, Jack hears the holy hellfire coming and orders everyone to get down, which they do… except Evil Locke cause he’s badass like that. Jack is knocked back and Evil Locke carries him to safety.

“Jack? You alright? Don’t worry. It’s gonna be okay. You’re with me now.”

Ruh-roh.

Lost Season 5 – Because You Left/The Lie Epis. 1&2

An alarm goes off at 8:15am. A woman tells a man it’s his turn to get a crying baby. He tends to the baby and leaves for work… and he’s on the island… which I totally knew. It’s a man in some nut-hugging tight pants. It’s the doctor from all of the orientation films by The Dharma Initiative. He’s in the middle of making a film when he’s told there’s a problem at The Orchid.

He heads down to where the big wheel that moves the island is. Construction crews have been through two drills trying to get to it. The doctor informs the crew to stop. They run the risk of releasing limitless energy that can be used to time travel. The construction chief is all, “Chyeah right.” And the scientist is all, “Yuh huh.” As the scientist leaves, he bumps into the OTHER scientist. You know, the one that came to the island on the freighter and was Desmond’s constant when he was all time-travelly, Daniel… the physicist.

Three years after the island moved, Jack and Ben talk about going back to the island with all of the Oceanic 6, and smelly, dead, Locke. Jack says that Locke told him all kinds of bad shit went down when they left and that if they didn’t go back, Sawyer, Juliet, and everyone on the island and boat would die.

Flash back three years to when the island moved and those on the island are all, “WTF?!” No one knows what the bright light and loud sound were all about. Where’s the freighter? No one knows. Also, no one knows where the hell the camp is ’cause that’s gone too. Daniel, who was on the raft when the island disappeared and within the radius, says that the camp isn’t gone. It just hasn’t been built yet. And I’m all, “Yeah, that’s nice. I’m just happy Rose and Bernard are still alive.”

Back to three years later, Kate is served with papers declaring she needs to give up a blood sample to prove she’s Aaron’s mommy. She’s all, “Um, no.” The lawyers won’t say who their client is and Kate demands they come back with the sheriff. While they’re gone, she packs up her and Aaron’s stuff and they bounce.

Flash back three years, and Daniel won’t explain to Sawyer and Juliet what’s going on. He says it would just be too complicated for their simple little brains. For this, Sawyer bitch slaps him and Daniel sings like a canary physicist.

Locke is making his way around the island when a plane comes dangerously close to crashing on his ass. It crashes in the distance, and in the process drops one of the Virgin Mary heroin statues. Locke makes his way to the wreckage, and not learning a lesson from what happened to Boone’s ass, he tries to climb up to it. Someone starts shooting at him and he falls. It’s Ethan!

Ok, so obviously the island went back in time. But why is Ethan alive? Is it ’cause his dead body was on the island? Is that why the drug plane re-crashed?

Anyway, Ethan is about to pop a cap in John’s ass when it suddenly gets all bright again and next thing you know, it’s nighttime. Daniel tells Sawyer and crew they are either in the past or the future. Well, no duh.

Three years ahead, Sun is travelling to Los Angeles when her passport causes her to be locked in a room. Charles Widmore arrives. He’s all, “Don’t be running up on me when I’m with my boys like that.” And she’s all, “My bad.” He wants to know what their common interest is. “To kill Benjamin Linus.” Well, no shit.

Ben and Jack see a news report about Hurley escaping from the mental hospital. This changes their plans.

Sayid and Hurley get some fast food and head for Sayid’s apartment. Hurley says he needs a cool coat. I don’t know about that… but he damn sure don’t need that fast food he’s eating. Sayid tells Hurley he was working for Ben for the past two years and Hurley wonders if this means Ben’s on their side now. Sayid tells Hurley to always do the exact opposite of whatever Ben says.

Sayid realizes his safe house ain’t so safe. He kills two intruders, but not before one shoots him with a tranquilizer. He instructs Hurley to get him to the car. “I’m too old for this shit,” Hurley grumbles as he carries Sayid off. Well, what he actually says is, “We never should have left that island.” Same diff. Moral of this scene? Always put your knives in the dishwasher pointy side down.

Three years ago, Sawyer and crew find the blown up hatch. This means they’re forward in time, back to after the Oceanic people crashed there. Sawyer wants to head back and see if the camp is still there and possibly warn the people on the copter not to go. Daniel explains that they can’t change the past or future, they must not interfere… leave the stream be. And I have a headache. Sawyer wants to know who can stop the island from time jumping… cut to…

Locke hobbles to the drug plane and finds it as it was when they first found it; crashed with the heroin and skeletons. He fashions a tourniquet for his injured leg. Richard shows up to remove the bullet from his leg that Locke never told him was there… Richard says, “You did tell me… or you will.” He explains that Locke will be moving on soon and that the next time they meet, Richard won’t know who he is. Then he gives Locke a compass. He tells Locke he has to get his friends to come back in order to save the island. Locke wants to know how he’s supposed to do that… “You’ll have to die, John.”

Bright light and Locke is back in the daytime… back in the past.

Three years in the past, Sawyer and crew realize that they are back in the past, and the hatch is back. Sawyer wants to go into the hatch to get the supplies. Daniel warns him he can’t change the past. Sawyer says that everyone he cares about just blew up on Daniel’s freighter; he knows what he can’t change.

The foreign redhead chick has a nosebleed which causes Daniel to consult his notebook on the sly. When alone, he bangs on the hatch’s backdoor until Desmond answers. He quickly tells Desmond that if he made it off the island in the helicopter, Desmond needs to go to Oxford University in order to save those left behind. He tells him to find his mother… and the bright light flashes again. Desmond, of course, didn’t know what the hell he was talking about or who he was.

Three years in the future, Desmond awakes on a boat with Penny and realizes he just had a memory. He starts to un-anchor the boat, informing Penny they’re going to Oxford.

Three years ago… the Oceanic Six are discussing whether or not they’re going to lie once rescued. Everyone agrees to, but not Hurley. Jack tells him that they need to protect those they left behind from Charles Widmore. Hurley is outnumbered and pretty much bullied into lying. Hurley warns, “Ima ‘member this.”

Three years in the future… Hurley and Sayid are on the road. Hurley drives and tries to get Sayid to wake up. He’s out for the count. Because Hurley is a fool and driving like one, they get pulled over. The cop is Ana Lucia! She scolds Hurley for being a dumbass, tells him to get off the streets, and that Libby says hi. Freaky!

Three years in the past… the people left on the island try to figure out what their next step should be. Daniel want to try and figure out where they are in time.

Three years in the future… Hurley buys clothes and narrowly averts being recognized. Kate gets a call from a friend and rushes to meet him/her. Ben tells Jack to go home and pack anything that means anything to him because once they leave he’s never going home again. He says he’ll meet him in six hours. When Jack asks whether or not Locke is dead, Ben doesn’t respond. He just says, “I’ll see you in six hours, Jack.” Hurley shows up at his Dad’s house. (His Dad was totally watching, “Expose,” the show that starred Nicky from the island.)

Hurley’s Dad covers for him with the cops. Kate meets Sun at a hotel, and Ben shows up at a butcher shop where the lady behind the counter agrees to hold on to Locke so I guess he won’t be so stinky and maggoty after all.

Three years in the past, on the island, Asian psychic dude returns from the jungle with a dead boar. He said he found it dead. I’m guessing he used his special connection with the dead ability to find it.

The foreign redhead admits to Daniel that she can’t seem to shake a headache, and earlier couldn’t remember her mother’s maiden name. One of the survivors starts to over-freak out about the group not being able to start a fire when suddenly he has a fiery arrow in his chest. The survivors flee an onslaught of fiery arrows! WTF?!

In the future, Hurley’s father leaves with Sayid hidden in his car. Sun tells Kate that she must do whatever it takes to protect Aaron. Sun remembers that Kate told her to get Aaron on the helicopter and that she, Kate, would go get Jin. We all know how that turned out. Sun assures Kate she doesn’t blame her. Hurley’s father takes Sayid to Jack and warns him to leave Hurley alone. Jack calls Ben and tells him he has Sayid Ben’s eyes go wide… er… wider than usual. Hurley tells his mother the truth about what happened on the island. She says she doesn’t understand, but she believes his crazy ass.

Three years ago, on the island, Sawyer and Juliet encounter some men with guns who threaten to cut off Juliet’s hand if they don’t explain what they’re doing there. Guess they have knives too.

In the future, Jack takes Sayid to a hospital and gets him to wake up. Sayid is concerned that Hurley is now vulnerable. Ben shows up at Hurley’s house and tries to convince him he’s working with Jack and Sayid. Remembering what Sayid said about trusting Ben, Hurley runs out to turn himself in to the cops watching his house instead. Ben looks on like, “Dumbass.”

Locke comes out of the shadows all Jungle Badass and saves Sawyer and Juliet’s asses… and her hand.

Meanwhile, in the future, a cloaked woman is working on formulas on a blackboard, and typing into a computer. A weird pendulum swings leaving markings on the floor. She makes her way up to a church where Ben is waiting. He explains he’s having difficulty gathering everyone, but she warns he only has 70 hours. She’s the woman from the jewelry store! Ben asks what would happen if he can’t get them to return to the island.

“Then God help us all.”

So, what did you guys think? Predictions? Questions? More importantly, when do we get to see the smoke monster again?!

Me thinks that woman at the end may be Daniel’s mother.