24 Day 7: 2pm-3pm

Previously on 24: The President gets word from the NSA that there was another firewall breach; the CIP device has been used again. Dubaku causes two planes to crash midair. Evil Secret Service dude kills the fiancé, but dies when The First Hubby turns the tables on him. The FBI considers the possibility that Agent Walker may be dead. Jack convinces Matobo and his wife to go along with the switch so that they can help them track down Dubaku and the CIP device. Dubaku sets his sights on Ohio.

And now…

The following takes place between 2pm and 3pm….

The squirrelly guy may have figured something out and Janis Gold may have figured out something else, but I’m completely distracted by his squirreliness and Janeane Garofalo’s bad acting to hear what it is.

The White House is still trying to reach The First Hubby, but his Evil Secret Service dude ain’t answering his phone ’cause his evil ass is dead.

Jack and the crew are tracking the truck carrying the Matobos. Meanwhile, they arrive at Dubaku’s evil headquarters. We know they’re really evil by all the computer screens, flashing lights, and stone-faced flunkies standing around. Dubaku tells Mr. Matobo he will cooperate with him and implies bad things will happen to his wife if he doesn’t.

Jack, Tony, and Bill (finally, Bill gets some action!!) head for the roof of the evil headquarters while Agent Walker uses her FBI creds. to waltz through the front door and give the rooftop crew access. Chloe gives Jack and Agent Walker directions and they scurry through crawlspaces.

Janis figures out that Dubaku has targeted an insecticide plant in Ohio. She gets on the horn to warn them and squirrelly guy looks mighty turned on by her forcefulness. Like, maybe he should be cheating on his wife with her and not the useless blonde.

The President finds out what Dubaku is up to in Ohio. Will anyone really miss 30.000 Ohioans?

Janis tries to talk the plant manager through either stopping the pressure from rising or at the very least, slowing it down. I really like this guy. Too bad his ass will probably be dead before the hour is up. Damn, just as I typed that, he went on a suicide mission. Poor bastard.

Dubaku realizes Jack and crew are there and Dubaku wants to tuck tail and run. His FBI cohort wants to keep going. They begin to shut down their operations and stop the Ohio attack. So, um, the plant manager just poisoned himself for nothing?

Jack and company open up their attack on Dubaku and his men. Dubaku is at a disadvantage because he’s in a room with lots of flashing lights and computer monitors. A couple of shots set off explosions off behind him. Dummy. Agent Walker rescues the Matobos after killing the FBI cohort, and Jack, Tony, and Bill take care of Dubaku’s men. They find the CIP device destroyed, but no Dubaku. Jack orders a sweep.

After the crisis is averted, Janis realizes that the plant manager is still in trouble and signals for a rescue team. And her acting is still really bad.

As they search for Dubaku, he snatches up the firewall physicist guy (remember him?! I didn’t!) and threatens to kill his family if he doesn’t do what he says. When Jack and crew arrive, Dubaku detonates explosives he had attached to the physicist guy. That ain’t right. Jack loses Dubaku in the confusion, but has to leave because the police are almost there.

Notice how every season, even though Jack is the good guy, he finds himself avoiding the law?

Moss and the squirrelly guy are trying to figure out why the Ohio attack suddenly stopped. I guess they never heard of counting their blessings. Moss orders squirrelly guy to figure out where the CIP was being used, and he delegates that to Janis who is all in mourning over the plant manager. And her acting is still really bad!

The White House remains confused as to why the attack suddenly stopped, but they want to find out. The Chief of Staff orders the Secret Service to send men to the First Hubby’s last known location; the dead son’s fiancé’s (who is now also dead) apartment. The back-up evil Secret Service dude hears the call out over his earpiece and rushes upstairs. He stops First Hubby from escaping, but gets a call from Dubaku (!?!) before he can kill him. Dubaku orders the First Hubby brought to him. Awww, snap!

Back at the safe house, Jack tries to convince Bill that they can no longer work without help. Matobo wants to call the President for help, but Bill warns they can’t trust the people around the President. Tony doesn’t seem to like that idea and now he looks squirrelly too! I don’t trust anyone!!

Matobo tells the President that he is safe, the CIP device is destroyed, and that he’ll only speak with her in private. Why he doesn’t give her a heads up that there are traitors in her midst is beyond me. They agree to meet at the White House in ten minutes.

Tony tells Jack he’s not coming with him. He did some bad, bad, things before he saw the light and his ass don’t wanna go to jail. Bill is all, “True dat.” Tony gives his word that he’ll turn himself in when this is all over.

As the hour ticks down the First Hubby is being put into the trunk of a car, Jack and Bill are headed for the White House with Matobo, and Dubaku arrives at his new evil headquarters where he is met by… his really normal, kinda cute, very sweet, waitress girlfriend?! WTF?!

I predict Jack Bauer will be torturing her ass by 6pm. What say you?

Tick…tock…tick… tock…

24 – Day 7: 1pm-2pm

Previously on 24: Prime Minister Matobo and his wife succumb to the gas and his wife punks out. The First Hubby is double crossed by his Secret Service buddy. He and his son’s fiancé are ’bout to die. Agent Walker gets gripped up by Emerson’s men and is fake killed by Jack so that he can maintain his cover. Soulpatch Tony and Jack are then instructed to bury her.

The following takes place between 1pm and 2pm…

The FBI boss, Moss, is all freaked out ’cause Agent Walker is missing and you just know they’re boning. He gives the Chloe-wannabe an order and she’s all about smart remarks. The squirrelly guy refers to Agent Walker in the past tense and Moss loses his shit on him, “We don’t know that she’s dead yet.”

The real Chloe and Bill show up in the magic blue van to unearth Agent Walker… which brings back all kinds of Laura Palmer memories. She’s not breathing and Bill injects her with adrenaline Pulp Fiction-style.

Emerson tells Jack and Tony how they came to fake Tony’s death and recruit him. They used his anti-government feelings to keep him loyal. Blah, blah, blah. Do we even care? We’re just happy he’s back!

Emerson jumps Jack at the airport hangar thinking that he and Tony are plotting to steal the diamonds. I must not have been paying attention… what diamonds!? Tony shoots Emerson.

Agent Walker wants to contact Moss, but Bill warns that Dubaku has spies in the FBI. He tells her she has to stay dead so they can find the device AND defeat Dubaku AND weed out the spies AND save the world, damnit!

Jack tells Matobo that he’s on his side and he should come with him if he wants to live.

Dubaku tells his FBI guy that when he meets with Emerson and his men, he should kill them and take Matobo. He wants to keep his diamonds instead of paying them to Emerson (ooooh, those diamonds!) The FBI guy leaves to do his evil bidding.

The President refuses to withdraw the troops per Dubaku’s demand. She still has hope that they can recover the C.I.P. device.

Matobo’s wife urges him to go along with Jack’s plan that they allow themselves to be handed over to Dubaku. She wants to make up for being a pussy in the panic room. He agrees because, I suspect, he secretly hates for being a pussy and putting them in this situation to begin with. Tony mourns Emerson’s death, but rallies with Jack to continue the plan. He looks kinda shady if you ask me.

Dubaku calls the President… ah, snap! It’s on! He instructs her to go to the window and there we see the aftermath of two planes colliding. Thank God they didn’t show it actually happening.

Dubaku needs his ass kicked.

The President still refuses to give in. Someone quits. I think it’s her Secretary of State. Oh well, tell him to take his ass back to One Life to Live. The Prez then gives this long speech about how we must not give in to threats, and America must lead, and blah, blah, blah. Then she leaves the room and it doesn’t look like even she believes she’s doing the right thing.

Agent Walker, Chloe and Bill arrive at the airport hangar. Agent Walker is salty that Jack shot her and buried her alive. Um, at least you’re not dead for real, for real. Ungrateful. Chloe puts a tracker in Mr. Matobo’s mouth.

Thr First Hubby sits helpless and evil Secret Service dude sets up the apartment for the staged murder/suicide. The fiancé arrives and gets stabbed repeatedly… it’s horrible.

When the FBI guys show up to make the swap, they try and double cross Tony, but he and Jack light shit up. They’re allowed to leave with the Matobos.

First Hubby regains control of his bodily functions long enough to flip the script on Evil Secret Service dude.

Dubaku prepares to lay another smack down on the U.S. as he realizes the President is not going to bend. “This bitch is crazy!”

Tick tock tick tock…

24: Day 7, 10am-12pm

Previously on 24: Tony Almeida and the other bad guys take over air traffic control, gives a plane a new runway assignment, and almost causes a collision. Why? Just to prove he can, bitches. Colonel Ike Dubaku warns he’s about to lay the smack down on the U.S. The First Hubby questions his dead son’s fiancé about her sudden $400k windfall. She lies and he says, “Give me what I want and I’ll go away.” She still lies.

Jack realizes the shooter is posing as an FBI agent because in a true “which one of these things doesn’t belong” moment, he notices the shooter’s shoes doesn’t match with the standard issue FBI hoofers. The only person more observant than Jack Bauer is that dude from Psych.

Agent Walker lies to her boss to go get Almeida Bauer-style. After some macho tussling, Jack catches Soulpatch Tony.

At the top of the 10am hour….

Tony Almeida’s motives, and his allegiance, are made clear. The White House receives an ultimatum, and Jack finds himself working with old friends and an unlikely ally.

By the end of the hour…

Jack has once again rendered someone unconscious (should we start keeping count?) and Soulpatch Tony is about six shades of hawt!

At the top of the 11am hour…

The FBI scrambles to get back on track while wiping egg off their faces, once again there might be a mole (seriously? Doesn’t the government hire trustworthy people anymore?), and Jack is on the move.

By the end of the hour…

Jack tees off on a wall, the First Hubby is one step closer to getting answers, and Agent Walker gets answers by getting her Bauer on.

And Soulpatch Tony is about ten shades of hawt!

24 airs tonight at 8pm on FOX

24: Day 7, 8am-10am

Here’s an early sneak peek review of tonight’s seventh-season opener of 24. It’s a two-night premiere continuing tomorrow at 8pm eastern. Today and tomorrow the reviews will remain spoiler free. Next week Tuesday begins the weekly 24 recaps here at Blog It Out, Bitch.

24 – Day 7: 8am-10am

If you’ve not seen 24 before, shame on you. You should crawl back under your rock, but take DVDs of seasons 1 – 6 with you. You’ll thank me later.

A few weeks ago FOX aired a 2-hour movie, 24: Redemption. In it, we learned that on the eve of the inauguration of the country’s first female President, Allison Taylor (Cherry Jones.), Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) is in Africa avoiding extradition to the U.S. to answer for the actions of the now disbanded CTU (counter-terrorism unit.) Bauer eventually returns to the states in exchange for the safe passage of young African boys being forced to join a rebel militia.

The first hour of tonight’s premiere picks up with 24 badass Jack Bauer testifying before a senate sub-committee as to the torture methods employed by CTU. As this is happening, the engineer behind the government’s homeland firewall is kidnapped by a group of masked men.

Agent Renee Walker of the FBI enlists Jack’s help in discovering what the group, who she has been tracking, wants with the engineer. Why is Jack called in? Because the head of the group is none other than presumed dead former CTU agent, Tony Almeida, or as we like to call him in our house, “Soulpatch Tony.” (Dude, you know he totally rocked a soulpatch in season one.) And before you can say, “questionable methods,” Jack is back to his old self, praise the Lord.

Meanwhile, President Taylor has her hands full trying to decide if the nation is going to war behind the actions of warlord General Juma’s (Tony Todd) actions in Sangala (introduced in Redemption.), and her husband played by Colm “Give me what I want and I’ll go away” Feore, is busy investigating the supposed suicide of their son.

I thought the show had made a mistake broadcasting Tony’s return at the end of Redemption and then again in all the commercials leading up to tonight’s premiere, but I have to say that it didn’t take away the punch of the shocker when Jack finds out his longtime friend is still alive.

Annie Wersching is a nice addition as Agent Walker, who could very well be a female Bauer as she displays a few Bauer-esque moves in tonight’s opener, but I also have a soft spot from her brief stint on General Hospital. I need to see more of Janeane Garofalo’s Janis Gold a.k.a The New Chloe before I can decide if it works or not. It was also nice to see Carlos Bernard back as a harder, colder, Almeida – no matter how far fetched it is.

And though I do miss the old CTU offices and familiar faces, in true 24-style I’m sure we’ll be amongst old friends soon enough, and I can’t wait. Tonight’s second hour packs more action than the first, but it’s a definite must-see for 24 fans. The wait is over. DVR The Golden Globes and get your Bauer on tonight.

P.S. There’s a rumor swirling about that I named my son after Jack Bauer. I refuse to confirm or deny… but you totally couldn’t fault me if I did. Right?

24 premieres tonight at 8pm eastern on FOX.

To read my friend Eric Hegedus’ New York Post interview with Cherry Jones (President Taylor – 24) click here.

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