24 Day 7: 6pm-8pm

Previously on 24: Dubaku tells Ryan Burnett, Senator Mayer’s chief of staff, that if he’s caught or killed, the U.S. co-conspirators are screwed. Jack convinces Marika to lead them to Dubaku. Agent Walker promises Marika’s sister she will keep her safe, but Marika dies. Jack discovers a chip with the list Dubaku was hiding as leverage. Bill asks the president to pardon Jack for his help. Tony tells Jack (in an inexplicable whisper) that there will be another attack on U.S. soil soon. He gives up Ryan Burnett as being involved.

The following takes place between 6pm and 7pm…

An orderly is cleared to see Dubaku who is unconscious. A nurse gets a call that distracts her long enough for the orderly to inject Dubaku. He goes into arrest.

At the White House, the president watches coverage of the U.S. troops invading Sangala. She and her aides wonder where General Juma is. (Uh, look behind you.)

Meanwhile, behind the White House, General Juma talks to one of his men, Dubaku’s son. He wants to know where his Daddy at, and Juma tells him not to worry. The orderly calls Juma and tells him that Dubaku is dead.

Agent Walker arrives just as Dubaku is pronounced dead. The doctors tell her it was probably a pre-existing condition.

At the FBI offices, Agent Moss is debriefing his peeps when Jack calls Chloe. He wants her to delete Ryan Burnett’s name from the list so he can’t lawyer up and keep the info to himself. She does as she’s told, but pouts that Chloe pout. Janis comes in and what follows is a bunch of geek talk I don’t understand. In the end, Janis is intimidated.

Ryan wants desperately to get out of the White House before the shit hits the fan. Senator Mayer doesn’t want to hear about Jack’s good deeds. He wants Jack to pay. If he refuses to go along, the president reserves the right to invoke executive privilege which could mean a pardon for Jack.

Jack goes into the office that Bill is working out of in the White House and holds him at gun point. He wants to know where Ryan Burnett is. He tells him Ryan is a traitor. Bill says there has to be another way. Jack says there isn’t. He wants to go all rogue on Ryan’s ass. He grips Bill up into a sleeper hold. I really want to learn how to do that. For real. He grabs a taser (my favorite weapon ever!) and heads out.

Agent Walker calls Moss and tells him about Dubaku’s death. She says that something doesn’t seem right and she’s going to dig further. He accuses her of being influenced by Jack. She gets an attitude and says she’s going to look into Dubaku’s death. A security guard tells her that the orderly last seen going to Dubaku’s bed is a stranger to everyone that works there and they got surveillance footage of him leaving the hospital.

Janis goes to see Chloe again and after a bunch of geek-speak, it seems she realizes someone deleted a name from the list. When she leaves, Chloe calls Jack and tells him to get on with the get on because they’re on to her.

Senator Mayer tells Ryan they need to make it politically bad for the president to pardon Jack Bauer. They want to say she’s emotional because her husband has been shot. Yeah, the female president has to be labeled hysterical. Ryan talks to Juma and realizes he needs to get the hell out of dodge. Before he can, Jack jolts his ass. I love seeing people get tased!

Janis tells Moss what Chloe has been helping Jack and plays Chloe’s phone conversation with him. They call security on Chloe and scoop her ass up. Big mouth Janis looks quite pleased with herself. As Chloe is being carted off she gives Janis a look like, “Snitches get stitches, bitch.”

Senator Mayer meets with the president and says he doesn’t want Jack Bauer to get off the hook; he has tortured people and shouldn’t get away with it. The president isn’t tryna hear it. Agent Moss calls and interrupts their meeting. He snitches that Jack is most likely pushing bamboo shoots under Ryan’s nails as they speak.

Nope, he’s just uber-tasin’ his ass and it’s awesome. Ryan is a trooper though and pretends he doesn’t know what the hell Jack is talking about. He keeps juicing him. He threatens to zap him in the throat, possibly paralyzing him. The president calls just as Ryan is snitching on Juma’s plan. Before he can get anymore info out of him, the door is blown open and Jack is apprehended.

“You’re done, Bauer,” Senator Mayer sneers.

Jack tells them they need to find out what Ryan knows because Juma’s men are moving. Not like this, says the president. Jack is arrested and the president raises the threat level. She wants to talk to Ryan herself.

The president realizes they’ll have to offer Ryan a free pass as he’s the best source of information they have as to Juma’s next move. Ryan refuses to cooperate. They offer him a free pass and he still refuses. Seems those volts juiced up his balls.

Agent Walker’s lead on the orderly leads her to a warehouse where Juma is with his men.  She calls Moss with her location once she sees Juma’s men patrolling the building. Moss gathers a team and heads out. Agent Walker sees Juma talking to Dubaku’s son. He’s still lying about Dubaku’s whereabouts.  She calls Moss again, “I know this sounds crazy, I swear I just saw Juma. I think it was him.”

Juma and his men go upstairs via the elevator and Walker takes the stairs. They head towards a boat and she follows. Dumb de dumb dumb.

Bill talks to Tony who fills him in. Bill wishes they’d have brought him in sooner. Tony’s all, tough titty.

Moss tries to reach Agent Walker, but Janis informs him that either her cell was damaged or its battery died.

Turns out it’s just wet. She got aboard the boat. She peeks as they check out some maps on a table, then Juma and his men head out.  With scuba gear, they jump into the water while Agent Walker gets a look at the plans they left behind. She sees maps of the White House. Dubaku’s son catches her and she jumps overboard. He shoots into the water and misses. She swims for her life and he follows by boat.  She makes it to land as Juma and his men swim towards the White House. Dubaku’s boy is right behind her.

Juma and his men swim… are they under the White House? WTF? Um, so like, no one thought to secure the water leading to the White House?!

Tick…tock….tick… tock…

The following takes place between 7pm and 8pm:

Juma and his men drill their way out of the water and into some tunnels.

President Taylor’s daughter wants to leave to see her father, but Aaron tells her she can’t. Its best if she stays put.  Olivia pouts. Nathan (what is his job title?) comes in and tells her that there’s another terrorist attack on the horizon and she might want to start acting like a big girl so as not to add more stress to her Mama.

Moss calls the president from the warehouse Juma was operating out of. He tells her Juma is in town. How the hell did he get into the United States? It seems like it would be the equivalent of Bin Laden strolling through Crenshaw. Anyway…

Agent Walker flags down a trooper and tells him to call Moss. As he begins to, Dubaku’s son shoots him and Walker runs off. Dumbass. They could have gotten into the car and driven off in all that time.

Bill visits Jack in his holding cell. The White House has holding cells? He fills him in on what’s going on. Ryan is being transferred and has lawyered up. Jack is all about breaking rules to catch the bad guys and Bill isn’t. Jack is a bully.

Juma and his men begin using a blowtorch on a gate after emerging from the water. Juma calls a contact inside the White House who kills a co-worker before letting them in. Lord, they’re never gonna let black folk in the White House after watching this.

Juma and his men take out secret service agents like it ain’t no thang. It’s tougher to break into my house.

Dubaku’s son catches up with Agent Walker and she quickly drops a dollar worth of dimes in telling him that Juma had his father killed. He pauses, but eventually doesn’t believe her. She beats his ass with a shovel before he gets the upper hand and starts choking her. Agent Moss lights him up just in time.

Jack is being transferred when Bill gets a call from Moss that the target is the White House. They scramble to get the president to lockdown. Bill takes the president’s lo-jack and starts running around all willy nilly to throw off Juma and his men. They catch up with him and realize that they’ve lost the element of surprise. They decide to take Bill as a hostage.

There’s lots of shooting in the halls. The president and Jack make it to the lockdown and are able to seal themselves in just as Juma gets there. Aaron is going to try and find a way out of the building with Olivia, the president’s daughter.

The secret service are closing in on Juma outside the lockdown, but since they don’t know that the president has made it into the lockdown, Juma is able to lie to them and say he has her. The jackasses believe him and fall back in order to save the president’s life.

This secret service sucks! I hope Obama’s watching.

Aaron and Olivia are hiding. He tells her that they have to get word out that Juma is bluffing so the secret service will retake the building.

Juma has all the hostages gathered outside of the lockdown room. One of his men use a doohickey that will eventually get the code inside the lockdown room. Hell, the White House would have been better off with ADT.

Agent Walker realizes that Jack is inside and Moss is all, “Um, concentrate on the president, not Jack Bauer.”

The president and Jack are watching what’s going on outside the room via monitors. They realize Juma is willing to die. When they also realize that Juma has a man working on breaking the access code, Jack goes all MacGyver using a lamp, a sock, and some bubble gum to stop him.

When Juma realizes, he calls John Voight. I don’t know who John Voight is, but apparently he’s evil and a traitor. Juma threatens to destroy some shipment if J.V. doesn’t help him get access into the lockdown room.

J.V. asks who is with the president and he tells him only one man. J.V. consults a computer and tells Juma that the president’s daughter is still somewhere in the White House. Juma looks over the hostages and realizes Olivia isn’t there. He orders his men to go find her.

Amongst the hostages Senator Mayer asks Bill if he thinks this is all his fault. If he had signed off Jack torturing Ryan, they’d have known the White House was the target earlier. Bill is too polite to say, “True dat.”

Outside, a secret service agent presents Moss with a thermal scan of the building. They can’t see individual hostages, but a cluster. He says it would be better, but the White House is one of the most heavily guarded buildings in the world….

… and it was just breached by 12 Africans!

Moss gets on a videoconference with the V.P. He tells him that by the location of the hostages, they believe the president made it into the lockdown. He wants to go in. The V.P. says without proof he can’t sign off on that.

The V.P.’s aide is all, “Good call, sir. You don’t want to sign off on anything that would result in her death and your promotion. Wouldn’t look good politically.”

The V.P. is all, “Um, don’t say stuff like that out loud.”

Aaron and Olivia encounter one of Juma’s men and Aaron is shot before taking him out. He tells Olivia to go into the next office and find a first aid kit that has a flashlight in it. He writes down a “code green” morse code on her hand and tells her to use the flashlight to signal that it’s okay to move in.

Her dumb ass goes to do it, but doesn’t close the door behind her or anything so she gets gripped up before she can send the message. Now, I’m sure Aaron wouldn’t have told she was in the office. She should have gone in, closed the door, and maybe had a little more time to send the signal.

Juma realizes that the president can see what’s going on in the hall. He sits her daughter down in front of the camera and threatens to cut out Olivia’s eyes if she doesn’t open the door.

Again, because she’s a female president she demands that Jack open the door. Jack is all, “Damnit! Madame President, will you calm the f*ck down and let me do my job?!” She pulls rank though and he eventually opens the door.

Senator Mayer is suck a prick. “Bauer, what have you done?!”

Juma slaps the president and tells her she no longer gives the orders. He tells him men to get the camera ready for her statement.

“What statement?,” she asks.

“The last statement you’ll ever give.”

Tick… tock… tick… tock….

24 Day 7: 5pm-6pm

Previously on 24: The First Hubby is shot during the rescue attempt. The President reaches out to her estranged daughter. Colonel Dubaku lets his American cohorts know that if he’s captured or killed, their names will be exposed. Jack convinces Marika to go to Dubaku so they can apprehend him. The leak in the FBI, Sean a.k.a. Squirrelly Guy, arranges for Jack and Agent Walker’s arrest to buy Dubaku some time. Dubaku is tipped off that Marika is working with Jack.

The following takes place between 5pm and 6pm:

Sean is at his desk looking both Squirrelly and proud of himself. His mistress confronts him about the warrant he put out on Jack and Agent Walker. He tells her to calm the hell down. Seems he’s not the only mole.  He tells her to sit her ass down somewhere and act normal.

Jack and Agent Walker are cuffed and put into the back of a police car.

Marika arrives at Dubaku and he confronts her. He smashes her cell phone and insists that the FBI is lying on him. He says he has brought peace to Sangala. He forgives her and wants her to still go with him. She agrees. I want to slap her, but I’m distracted by how fabulous her hair looks.
She deserves whatever happens to her dumb ass after this.

Note: Sophie thinks Marika looks like the turtle you are challenged to draw in those ads in the back of magazines.

The misunderstanding with the police is all cleared up and Jack and Agent Walker are allowed to go. They find out their cell phone trace on Marika went dead and Chloe uses traffic cameras to find out which way Dubaku is headed. Dubaku’s inside contact isn’t happy to hear that Marika is going with Dubaku. Dubaku is all, “I can handle my bitches, thank you very much.”

Jack and Agent Walker catch up to Dubaku and a car chase ensues. I hate car chases so I tune it out. Jack crashes and Dubaku is getting away. Jack tells Agent Walker to try and maintain a visual on Dubaku’s car until they can get a new ride.

Marika comes to her senses, kinda, and causes the car to crash by attacking the driver. Jack and Agent Walker take off on foot towards the accident. The driver gets out and goes for his gun. Jack and Agent Walker light.his.ass.up. Jack grabs Dubaku as Agent Walker tries to pull Marika free. Jack warns that the car is on fire and she needs to stop. She pulls a gun on Jack saying she gave her word nothing would happen to Marika and he can either help or back off. Not wanting a cap in his ass, Jack helps. They pull Marika free just before the car blows up. Dubaku, who is lying right next to the damn thing, doesn’t catch fire. Lame.

At the hospital, the President is informed that they have liberated 10,000 civilians in Sangala, but she ain’t tryna hear it. She’s worried about her husband and upset that she didn’t listen to him when he tried to tell her that their son didn’t kill himself. Bill informs her that Jack has apprehended Dubaku and that he is hurt. If he dies, the names of the conspirators may die with him. Bill wants her to return to the White House, but she wants to stay. She is finally convinced to return. She wonders how she can run the government when she doesn’t know who to trust.

At the scene Dubaku is stabilized and the paramedics want to take him to the hospital. Jack convinces them to give him a shot of adrenaline so he can question Dubaku. He does this by being all growly and scary. Jack threatens Dubaku’s family and Dubaku tells him there’s a list of names, but then he codes. The paramedics bring him back, but note there is some kind of metal disc in Dubaku’s chest.

Jack has Dubaku cut open and pulls it out. PIMP.

He calls Moss and informs him of the disc. Squirrelly Guy (Sean) is listening to the whole conversation.  Jack gets a cop in a helicopter to transport the bloody disc to Moss. He takes it with no questions and seemingly no concern for the blood on his hands. Ewww.

Squirrelly Sean corners his mistress in the bathroom and tells her about the disc. She starts freaking out and yelling at him for getting her into this mess and not leaving his wife. Bitch, focus! He tells her that as soon as Chloe downloads the info, they will crash the entire system. That’s crazy talk, she says. But agrees after he rubs on her face and smooth talks her. Ugh. He’s not even cute.

At the hospital, Agent Walker is all messed up over what happened to Marika and takes it out on Jack.

When Chloe sees the disc she realizes that it has an auto-erase function; they only get one download.

Sean and his mistress prepare to wipe the system. He speaks with Dubaku’s contact and warns that he needs to take care of Dubaku because he’s taking care of the disc.  Once the erase begins, Sean kills his mistress and then shoots himself in the arm. When Moss and Chloe arrive, Sean blames everything on the mistress. Chloe informs Moss that all of Dubaku’s files were destroyed.

Moss believes Sean’s squirrelly ass and fills him in on what’s going on. Chloe calls Moss and tells him that she was able to recover Dubaku’s files after all and they’re decrypted. He instructs her to cross reference it with government officials. When he hangs up, he tells Sean the files were accessed and Sean shits his pants. He pretends to be happy. Moss tells him he’ll need to go see a psychiatrist because he shot a fellow agent and that has to be traumatic. Not nearly as traumatic as getting arrested.

Sean heads for the exit, but Moss is on his ass. He demands answers, but Sean asks for an attorney.

Rosa arrives at the hospital and goes off on Agent Walker for letting Marika die. Jack tells Agent Walker that arrests are being made based on Dubaku’s list. It’s over. Agent Walker says it’s not over for Rosa. Jack insists that Marika had a choice and she chose to help. Agent Walker starts slapping Jack asking if he feels anything. He lets her get in two good slaps before gripping her ass up. She cries in his arms. He tells her she’ll learn to live with it and she says she doesn’t want to.

He turns to leave and but tells her, “That little stunt you pulled by the car… if you ever pull your weapon on me again, you better intend to use it.”

“I did.”

Jack nods. Respect.

OK. This is getting tied up a little too neatly and too quickly. The day ain’t even half over. Where’s the other shoe, and when will it drop?

At the White House, the President informs her daughter that she cannot go to the hospital to be with First Hubby. Daughter throws a temper tantrum. Bill tells the President that Dubaku’s list was recovered. Bill wants the President to speak to the Senator heading up the hearings against Jack. Her ungrateful ass says she has to think about it.

Jack is chilling outside the White House when Tony shows up. He whispers that there will be another attack on the U.S. by Dubaku’s boss. The chief-of-staff of the senator heading up Jack’s hearing is involved. Jack warns Tony that if he’s lying… Tony asks Jack to meet him on a street corner if he’s down for whatever. He never once asked why Tony was whispering.

The senator’s chief-of-staff turns out to be none other than Dubaku’s contact, Ryan! The senator gets a call that the President wants to meet with him regarding Bauer and he wants Ryan there. Ryan gets a message on his phone, “Units in place. Operation on schedule.”

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

24 Day 7: 3-4pm and 4-5pm

Last week’s recap is included here because I was sick. To see last night’s recap, scroll down to the second blue header.

24 Day 7: 3pm-4pm

Previously on 24: Dubaku is surprised and outraged to find that Almeida, Bill, and Jack have found his evil lair. Jack find the C.I.P. device. P.M. Matobo insists that they meet with the President. She’s the only person he trusts. First Hubby kills Evil Secret Service dude before he can kill him, and ESS’s back up arrives and receives instructions from Dubaku to bring the First Hubby to him.

The following takes place between 3pm and 4pm.

Evil Secret Service Dude 2 (ESS2) arrives at Dubaku’s other evil lair with the First Hubby.

The President addresses the nation and pretty much says, “Look, bitches… I got this.”

Dubaku is walking through the streets like he’s a regular Joe. He arrives at his new evil lair where his henchmen are waiting with the First Hubby. Dubaku wants to know if he thinks the Pres. loves him enough to call off the strike against his country? I guess we ’bout to find out.

As the address ends, the Pres. is informed that Matobo has arrived with his rescuers. She’s surprised to hear that Bauer is one of the heroes. When they meet, she assures Matobo she is still down for the cause and that the U.S. will help his people. He leaves and the Pres. demands answers from Jack, Agent Walker, and Bill. She doesn’t believe Jack when he says that there are leaks in her administration until he’s like, “Um, why do you think it was so hard for you to catch Dubaku’s ass?” She’s all, “True dat.”

Jack tells the Pres. that they need to work under the radar in order to get Dubaku as he is the only one with knowledge of who the leaks are.

Then showing balls bigger than those chasing Indiana Jones down a cavern, Dubaku calls the Pres. He tells her right away that he has her husband. Dubaku wants the U.S. forces removed from Sangala and he wants Matobo delivered to his men to boot. He wants all this done by 4pm. To prove he means business he orders his men to cut off First Hubby’s finger while she listens.

The Pres. is informed of the scene at her dead son’s fiance’s apartment. Realizing that she can’t ask the American people to make sacrifices she won’t make herself, she refuses to give in.

Jack offers to do what he does best. Fuck shit up. The Pres. wants to know how she can know where Jack’s loyalties really lie.

“With all due respect, Madame President, ask around.”

Yeah, he was all, “Bitch, you better ask somebody!”

Realizing she has no other option and nothing to lose, she agrees to let Jack and Agent Walker (who everyone thinks is dead) try and rescue her husband. They are given their own office in The White House to operate out of. Agent Walker convinces Jack that they’ll need Agent Moss’ help. So she calls him.

“I’m alive, but you can’t let anyone know that.”

What’s the first thing this fool does? Goes into a hallway, presumably for privacy, and as someone turns the corner says all loud, “Renee!” Jackass.

She fills him in on what’s going on with the First Hubby. She suggests they start by tracing the movements of the ESS dude that tried to kill First Hubby. He wants proof she’s not being forced to do this, so he makes her agree to a meet.

Squirrely guy is whispering with his mistress and giving her attitude. Janis warns that he’s way too obvious with it and needs to watch himself. Jack and Agent Walker meet Agent Moss so he can see she’s really alive. Moss informs them that ESS dude was talking a lot to ESS dude 2 and that he used to work in Sangala. Jack wants to know if ESS2 has a family. He does; a wife and an 11-month old son. Jack is like, “We need to make him think we’re gonna hurt his family.”

Moss and Walker balk, but eventually Walker comes around. Moss tells Jack he will not allow Walker to end up like Jack. Like Jack? You mean a badass? Well, sucks for her.

“Rules are what make us better.”

“Not today,” Jack growls.

Cheesy, but it is Jack Bauer and I wouldn’t say that to his face.

Dubaku gets a call from his sweet waitress girlfriend, Marika. She wants to know if they’re still on for dinner and he cancels.  He’s got fingers to cut off, lady!

Marika’s sister, Rosa,  tries to tell her she has no idea who Dubaku is and that she shouldn’t trust him, but she ain’t tryna hear it. Did I miss something? Do these people not have access to Google?

Moss helps Jack get a line on ESS2. They need to get to him before he starts his shift on a military base. Agent Walker arrives at ESS2′s house.  She flashes her gun and tells the wife to shut up and she might live. And I swear that baby looks like he might be a little slow.

If they torture a mildly retarded baby, I’m turning the channel.

ESS2′s baby is screaming his head off. And that’s a lot of screaming. Walker makes the wife cuff herself to the coffee table. And damnit, she looks like she’s enjoying this!

Jack purposely crashes into ESS2′s car then sucker punches him in the face. Jack drags him to an apartment building’s lobby and asks where the First Hubby is. He ain’t talking so Jack calls his wife and lets him hear Agent Walker terrorize his baby.  She doesn’t really, or does she? They won’t show it! He agrees to talk, so Jack hangs up and Agent Walker gives the wife the baby.

“I was just playing.”

After ESS2 gives up the location, he pulls a knife on Jack and they fight. Jack kills him. He then carjacks a nice ride and speeds off.

Bill puts in motion the plan to have a double arrive at the drop and trick Dubaku.  Jack tells Agent Walker that ESS2 is dead and she nearly falls apart looking at his big-head baby. Jack tells her if she can’t handle the heat, perhaps she should do something else. She says she might just do that… but not today.

What’s up with that? That’s twice in one hour. Day 7 is the new Vegas! What happens on Day 7 stays on Day 7!

Squirrely guy is all suspicious because the threat level is lowered yet, as far as they know, the CIP device hasn’t been recovered. Moss tells Squirrely guy to settle down, and that he’ll handle it. Walker calls Moss with the address they believe the First Hubby is being held.

Dubaku gets a call from Rosa and she says she knows he’s not in the country legally. If he doesn’t break up with Marika tonight, he’ll be sorry.
Why is she lobbing threats from a wheelchair! Dummy!

Dubaku grabs a gun and tells his henchmen he has to “go take care of something.”

Dubaku’s men are not fooled by the trick and shoot a rocket at the car holding Matobo’s double. Well, so much for that plan.

Agent Walker and Jack arrive at the evil lair which is in the back of a store. They take out the henchmen just after Dubaku calls and orders they kill the First Hubby. One of them gets off a shot before he dies and it hits the First Hubby in the chest. Jack screams for an ambulance and that’s all I saw because my TiVo shut off.

24 started two minutes late because of the President’s speech. Damn you, Obama!

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

24 Day 7 4pm – 5pm

Previously on 24: Dubaku has The First Hubby who realizes that Dubaku was behind his son’s death. Dubaku tells the Pres. he will kill her hubby if she doesn’t meet his demands. Dubaku’s girlfriend, Marika, has a disapproving sister, Rosa, who threatens to expose Dubaku as a fraud if he doesn’t break up with her sis. Jack and Agent Walker arrive to rescue the First Hubby, but he gets shot in the process.

The following takes place between 4pm and 5pm…

An ambulance arrives to help the First Hubby. They are told they cannot tell anyone who the victim is. Agent Walker searches the hideout for a lead on where Dubaku went. Jack calls the President and informs her of what happened to her husband.

The President wants to go to the hospital to be with her husband. Bill wants her to allow Chloe reinstated and he wants to head up the investigation to find the leaks. He will also serve as her security because the secret service cannot be trusted.

Dubaku arrives at Marika’s job and says they need to talk. He tells her he needs to leave the country right away and he wants her to go too. She is reluctant and he kind of loses his shit for a moment. Her dumb ass agrees to go after he promises that he will eventually send for her sister. She skips off to pack like a goof troop.

Dubaku calls a contact to make sure his exit arrangements are in order. The contact says that General Juma won’t be happy to hear that he has failed his mission and Dubaku is all, “To hell with him!” They make arrangements to meet in 15 minutes.

Walker calls into Moss and he reams her out for terrorizing ESS2′s wife and child. He feels like she’s in too deep. Jack overhears her talking to Moss and tells her they may have a lead on Dubaku.  She shares the address with Moss and they head off.

Marika arrives home and begins to pack. Chloe leaves her hubby and baby to go work in the FBI offices.  She’s not in the office two minutes before she says something inappropriate. Moss tries implying that all the people that have died around Jack were killed because of him. Chloe tells him to worry less about Jack and more about the mole in his office. Oh, snap! No she di-un!

Dubaku meets with his new contact in a hotel lobby. He warns that if anything happens to him or Marika a file with all the dirty secrets will be sent to the Justice Department. Who are all these corrupt white men??

Marika’s sister, Rosa, doesn’t want Marika to leave the country with Dubaku. She doesn’t trust him. Marika accuses Rosa of wanting to deny her happiness and says she is leaving no matter what Rosa says.

Agent Walker and Jack bust in the apartment and demand to know where Dubaku is. They say don’t know any Dubaku. When Jack shows Marika a picture, she lies and says she doesn’t know him. Rosa, on the other hand, drops about a dollar worth of dimes. Jack realizes that Marika has no idea what a monster she’s involved with.

“Do you have any idea what this man is?”

“He’s everything to me.”

Wrong answer.

The Pres. arrives at the hospital to see her husband. He has to have about five hours of surgery and his chances aren’t good.  She’s able to tell him that he was right about their son not killing himself before he goes into surgery. She asks Bill to contact her estranged daughter.

Jack and Agent Walker tell Marika all about Dubaku’s true resume. They want her to talk to him when he calls so that they can trace him. She’s all freaking out and saying that she can’t do it. Heifer, get on the phone! She eventually does and pretends that she’s upset because she fought with her sister. He tells her a car will be coming for her.

Jack asks that she go when the car arrives and tells her that they’ll be following a mile behind. Rosa doesn’t want her to go, but Marika says it’s the right thing to do. Jack calls into Moss who puts him on with Chloe. She says she’ll set up the trace on Marika’s phone, but it will take longer than usual because Moss’ system is ass backwards. Couth-less Chloe strikes again! Janis, meanwhile, is trying to peek at what Chloe is doing, but keeps getting denied.

Aaron is back! Kick-ass secret service Aaron is sent to get the Pres.’ daughter, but she refuses to go with him when he arrives at the hotel lobby where she’s meeting with a client. He tells her about her father being shot and they leave. She’s annoying already.

Janis blackmails Squirrely guy into helping her get a look at what Chloe is doing.

“You’re a little bitch, you know that?”

“You’re a little bitch,” she counters.

You’re both little bitches.

Marika is going along in the car Dubaku sent and Jack and Agent Walker follow behind. Chloe’s trace is interrupted when Janis, who was spying, has to sever the connection so as not to get made.  Moss, Chloe, and Jack know someone was mirroring Chloe’s actions.

Local police fall in on Jack and Agent Moss and arrest them. Moss gets on the phone to try and stop it when Chloe discovers a warrant was issued for them by Moss’ office. Janis opens her big mouth and tells Squirrely guy that Chloe is working with Jack to trace a car on its way to Dubaku. As soon as she takes her dumbass to her desk, Squirrely guy makes a call. He calls Dubaku’s contact that he met with earlier.  He, in turn, calls Dubaku and tells him that his girlfriend has been turned. Dubaku says he’ll take care of her.

Tick… tock… tick… tock.

24 Day 7: 2pm-3pm

Previously on 24: The President gets word from the NSA that there was another firewall breach; the CIP device has been used again. Dubaku causes two planes to crash midair. Evil Secret Service dude kills the fiancé, but dies when The First Hubby turns the tables on him. The FBI considers the possibility that Agent Walker may be dead. Jack convinces Matobo and his wife to go along with the switch so that they can help them track down Dubaku and the CIP device. Dubaku sets his sights on Ohio.

And now…

The following takes place between 2pm and 3pm….

The squirrelly guy may have figured something out and Janis Gold may have figured out something else, but I’m completely distracted by his squirreliness and Janeane Garofalo’s bad acting to hear what it is.

The White House is still trying to reach The First Hubby, but his Evil Secret Service dude ain’t answering his phone ’cause his evil ass is dead.

Jack and the crew are tracking the truck carrying the Matobos. Meanwhile, they arrive at Dubaku’s evil headquarters. We know they’re really evil by all the computer screens, flashing lights, and stone-faced flunkies standing around. Dubaku tells Mr. Matobo he will cooperate with him and implies bad things will happen to his wife if he doesn’t.

Jack, Tony, and Bill (finally, Bill gets some action!!) head for the roof of the evil headquarters while Agent Walker uses her FBI creds. to waltz through the front door and give the rooftop crew access. Chloe gives Jack and Agent Walker directions and they scurry through crawlspaces.

Janis figures out that Dubaku has targeted an insecticide plant in Ohio. She gets on the horn to warn them and squirrelly guy looks mighty turned on by her forcefulness. Like, maybe he should be cheating on his wife with her and not the useless blonde.

The President finds out what Dubaku is up to in Ohio. Will anyone really miss 30.000 Ohioans?

Janis tries to talk the plant manager through either stopping the pressure from rising or at the very least, slowing it down. I really like this guy. Too bad his ass will probably be dead before the hour is up. Damn, just as I typed that, he went on a suicide mission. Poor bastard.

Dubaku realizes Jack and crew are there and Dubaku wants to tuck tail and run. His FBI cohort wants to keep going. They begin to shut down their operations and stop the Ohio attack. So, um, the plant manager just poisoned himself for nothing?

Jack and company open up their attack on Dubaku and his men. Dubaku is at a disadvantage because he’s in a room with lots of flashing lights and computer monitors. A couple of shots set off explosions off behind him. Dummy. Agent Walker rescues the Matobos after killing the FBI cohort, and Jack, Tony, and Bill take care of Dubaku’s men. They find the CIP device destroyed, but no Dubaku. Jack orders a sweep.

After the crisis is averted, Janis realizes that the plant manager is still in trouble and signals for a rescue team. And her acting is still really bad.

As they search for Dubaku, he snatches up the firewall physicist guy (remember him?! I didn’t!) and threatens to kill his family if he doesn’t do what he says. When Jack and crew arrive, Dubaku detonates explosives he had attached to the physicist guy. That ain’t right. Jack loses Dubaku in the confusion, but has to leave because the police are almost there.

Notice how every season, even though Jack is the good guy, he finds himself avoiding the law?

Moss and the squirrelly guy are trying to figure out why the Ohio attack suddenly stopped. I guess they never heard of counting their blessings. Moss orders squirrelly guy to figure out where the CIP was being used, and he delegates that to Janis who is all in mourning over the plant manager. And her acting is still really bad!

The White House remains confused as to why the attack suddenly stopped, but they want to find out. The Chief of Staff orders the Secret Service to send men to the First Hubby’s last known location; the dead son’s fiancé’s (who is now also dead) apartment. The back-up evil Secret Service dude hears the call out over his earpiece and rushes upstairs. He stops First Hubby from escaping, but gets a call from Dubaku (!?!) before he can kill him. Dubaku orders the First Hubby brought to him. Awww, snap!

Back at the safe house, Jack tries to convince Bill that they can no longer work without help. Matobo wants to call the President for help, but Bill warns they can’t trust the people around the President. Tony doesn’t seem to like that idea and now he looks squirrelly too! I don’t trust anyone!!

Matobo tells the President that he is safe, the CIP device is destroyed, and that he’ll only speak with her in private. Why he doesn’t give her a heads up that there are traitors in her midst is beyond me. They agree to meet at the White House in ten minutes.

Tony tells Jack he’s not coming with him. He did some bad, bad, things before he saw the light and his ass don’t wanna go to jail. Bill is all, “True dat.” Tony gives his word that he’ll turn himself in when this is all over.

As the hour ticks down the First Hubby is being put into the trunk of a car, Jack and Bill are headed for the White House with Matobo, and Dubaku arrives at his new evil headquarters where he is met by… his really normal, kinda cute, very sweet, waitress girlfriend?! WTF?!

I predict Jack Bauer will be torturing her ass by 6pm. What say you?

Tick…tock…tick… tock…

24 – Day 7: 1pm-2pm

Previously on 24: Prime Minister Matobo and his wife succumb to the gas and his wife punks out. The First Hubby is double crossed by his Secret Service buddy. He and his son’s fiancé are ’bout to die. Agent Walker gets gripped up by Emerson’s men and is fake killed by Jack so that he can maintain his cover. Soulpatch Tony and Jack are then instructed to bury her.

The following takes place between 1pm and 2pm…

The FBI boss, Moss, is all freaked out ’cause Agent Walker is missing and you just know they’re boning. He gives the Chloe-wannabe an order and she’s all about smart remarks. The squirrelly guy refers to Agent Walker in the past tense and Moss loses his shit on him, “We don’t know that she’s dead yet.”

The real Chloe and Bill show up in the magic blue van to unearth Agent Walker… which brings back all kinds of Laura Palmer memories. She’s not breathing and Bill injects her with adrenaline Pulp Fiction-style.

Emerson tells Jack and Tony how they came to fake Tony’s death and recruit him. They used his anti-government feelings to keep him loyal. Blah, blah, blah. Do we even care? We’re just happy he’s back!

Emerson jumps Jack at the airport hangar thinking that he and Tony are plotting to steal the diamonds. I must not have been paying attention… what diamonds!? Tony shoots Emerson.

Agent Walker wants to contact Moss, but Bill warns that Dubaku has spies in the FBI. He tells her she has to stay dead so they can find the device AND defeat Dubaku AND weed out the spies AND save the world, damnit!

Jack tells Matobo that he’s on his side and he should come with him if he wants to live.

Dubaku tells his FBI guy that when he meets with Emerson and his men, he should kill them and take Matobo. He wants to keep his diamonds instead of paying them to Emerson (ooooh, those diamonds!) The FBI guy leaves to do his evil bidding.

The President refuses to withdraw the troops per Dubaku’s demand. She still has hope that they can recover the C.I.P. device.

Matobo’s wife urges him to go along with Jack’s plan that they allow themselves to be handed over to Dubaku. She wants to make up for being a pussy in the panic room. He agrees because, I suspect, he secretly hates for being a pussy and putting them in this situation to begin with. Tony mourns Emerson’s death, but rallies with Jack to continue the plan. He looks kinda shady if you ask me.

Dubaku calls the President… ah, snap! It’s on! He instructs her to go to the window and there we see the aftermath of two planes colliding. Thank God they didn’t show it actually happening.

Dubaku needs his ass kicked.

The President still refuses to give in. Someone quits. I think it’s her Secretary of State. Oh well, tell him to take his ass back to One Life to Live. The Prez then gives this long speech about how we must not give in to threats, and America must lead, and blah, blah, blah. Then she leaves the room and it doesn’t look like even she believes she’s doing the right thing.

Agent Walker, Chloe and Bill arrive at the airport hangar. Agent Walker is salty that Jack shot her and buried her alive. Um, at least you’re not dead for real, for real. Ungrateful. Chloe puts a tracker in Mr. Matobo’s mouth.

Thr First Hubby sits helpless and evil Secret Service dude sets up the apartment for the staged murder/suicide. The fiancé arrives and gets stabbed repeatedly… it’s horrible.

When the FBI guys show up to make the swap, they try and double cross Tony, but he and Jack light shit up. They’re allowed to leave with the Matobos.

First Hubby regains control of his bodily functions long enough to flip the script on Evil Secret Service dude.

Dubaku prepares to lay another smack down on the U.S. as he realizes the President is not going to bend. “This bitch is crazy!”

Tick tock tick tock…

24: Day 7, 12pm -1pm

This was due yesterday, but I was all about the inauguration.

Previously on 24: President Taylor gets an ultimatum. First Hubby Taylor finds out that his son was murdered and someone in his wife’s administration may be in on it. Agent Walker tortures the shooter (Tanner) to get info on Jack and Almeida’s whereabouts. It works. Jack goes under with Tony Almeida posing as one of Emerson’s men. They try to kidnap the leader of Sangala, but he locks himself in a panic room Jodi Foster-style.

The following takes place between 12pm and 1pm…

The FBI prepares to go after Almeida and his men to stop them from kidnapping the leader of Sangala whose name I can’t spell yet. It’s a “bring Almeida back alive mission” which doesn’t make the FBI dudes too happy.

Agent Walker is totally busted for torturing the injured man thing. His boss orders her to head back to the office – she can’t make an arrest off of faulty-tortured-obtained info. She goes all rogue and heads off anyway.

Inside the most poorly-stocked panic room ever, Mr. Mumtobo (I’m taking a shot) and his wife discuss their options which pretty much consist of keeping their asses put till help arrives… until Emerson threatens to kill one of his men if he doesn’t come out in one minute… and he still pretty much decides to keep his ass put. Mumtobo’s man is spared a bullet in the head when the FBI calls him on his cell phone and Emerson realizes the FBI may be on their way.

Knowing that they have to get Mumtobo out (he’s the only hope they have of capturing Dubaku and finding the C.I.P. device), Jack suggests that they use the small amount of time they have before the feds arrive to smoke him out using common household products. MacGyver style!

Again, worst.panic.room.ever.

Jack goes all Bill Nye on the vents, creating fumes that will smoke Mumtobo and his wife out. He’s willing to die, but is his wife? She’s willing to go out like a gangsta too!

The squirrelly tech guy acts all… squirrelly when his wife calls. And even more squirrelly when he overhears that Agent Walker has gone rogue.

Mumtobo’s wife bitches out at the last minute and opens the panic room door! She’s not so gangsta after all. *sigh*

Agent Walker shows up just as Emerson, Jack, and Almeida are loading Mumtobo and his wife in a truck. She gets busted because… well, she’s no Jack Bauer. Jack and Almeida convince Emerson not to kill her until they find out what she knows.

First Hubby Taylor trusts his secret service person, Brian, to help him find someone who can get the info off the thumb drive his dead son’s fiance gave him. He refuses to tell his wife until he can prove what he was told. Doesn’t he ever watch 24!? He’ll be dead in the next three hours. Tops.

President Taylor refuses to withdraw the U.S. troops in accordance with Dubaku’s demands. Instead, she wants to use the 30 minutes they have left to find Mumtobo.

We find out why squirrelly guy is so squirrelly. He’s banging some chick at work. Lame. Who cares? Unless he’s banging her to frame her for being the mole and will later kill her, I sure don’t.

Emerson’s inside man informs him that Agent Walker doesn’t know squat and should be terminated post haste. Well, he didn’t say post haste, those are my words.

Brian betrays First Hubby Taylor by leading him to his dead son’s fiance’s apartment. Having consumed spiked coffee, FHT loses control of his muscles and becomes paralyzed. Brian and his Secret Service cohort plan to stage a murder-suicide involving FHT and the fiancé.

Emerson and his crew pull up at an empty construction site and he orders Jack to kill Agent Taylor. He shots her… kinda?… and covers her body with a tarp. Emerson, liking all his Is dotted and his Ts crossed, orders Almeida and Jack to now bury her. Taylor looks all panicky under the tarp as they toss mounds of dirt on her….

Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock….

24: Day 7, 10am-12pm

Previously on 24: Tony Almeida and the other bad guys take over air traffic control, gives a plane a new runway assignment, and almost causes a collision. Why? Just to prove he can, bitches. Colonel Ike Dubaku warns he’s about to lay the smack down on the U.S. The First Hubby questions his dead son’s fiancé about her sudden $400k windfall. She lies and he says, “Give me what I want and I’ll go away.” She still lies.

Jack realizes the shooter is posing as an FBI agent because in a true “which one of these things doesn’t belong” moment, he notices the shooter’s shoes doesn’t match with the standard issue FBI hoofers. The only person more observant than Jack Bauer is that dude from Psych.

Agent Walker lies to her boss to go get Almeida Bauer-style. After some macho tussling, Jack catches Soulpatch Tony.

At the top of the 10am hour….

Tony Almeida’s motives, and his allegiance, are made clear. The White House receives an ultimatum, and Jack finds himself working with old friends and an unlikely ally.

By the end of the hour…

Jack has once again rendered someone unconscious (should we start keeping count?) and Soulpatch Tony is about six shades of hawt!

At the top of the 11am hour…

The FBI scrambles to get back on track while wiping egg off their faces, once again there might be a mole (seriously? Doesn’t the government hire trustworthy people anymore?), and Jack is on the move.

By the end of the hour…

Jack tees off on a wall, the First Hubby is one step closer to getting answers, and Agent Walker gets answers by getting her Bauer on.

And Soulpatch Tony is about ten shades of hawt!

24 airs tonight at 8pm on FOX

24: Day 7, 8am-10am

Here’s an early sneak peek review of tonight’s seventh-season opener of 24. It’s a two-night premiere continuing tomorrow at 8pm eastern. Today and tomorrow the reviews will remain spoiler free. Next week Tuesday begins the weekly 24 recaps here at Blog It Out, Bitch.

24 – Day 7: 8am-10am

If you’ve not seen 24 before, shame on you. You should crawl back under your rock, but take DVDs of seasons 1 – 6 with you. You’ll thank me later.

A few weeks ago FOX aired a 2-hour movie, 24: Redemption. In it, we learned that on the eve of the inauguration of the country’s first female President, Allison Taylor (Cherry Jones.), Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) is in Africa avoiding extradition to the U.S. to answer for the actions of the now disbanded CTU (counter-terrorism unit.) Bauer eventually returns to the states in exchange for the safe passage of young African boys being forced to join a rebel militia.

The first hour of tonight’s premiere picks up with 24 badass Jack Bauer testifying before a senate sub-committee as to the torture methods employed by CTU. As this is happening, the engineer behind the government’s homeland firewall is kidnapped by a group of masked men.

Agent Renee Walker of the FBI enlists Jack’s help in discovering what the group, who she has been tracking, wants with the engineer. Why is Jack called in? Because the head of the group is none other than presumed dead former CTU agent, Tony Almeida, or as we like to call him in our house, “Soulpatch Tony.” (Dude, you know he totally rocked a soulpatch in season one.) And before you can say, “questionable methods,” Jack is back to his old self, praise the Lord.

Meanwhile, President Taylor has her hands full trying to decide if the nation is going to war behind the actions of warlord General Juma’s (Tony Todd) actions in Sangala (introduced in Redemption.), and her husband played by Colm “Give me what I want and I’ll go away” Feore, is busy investigating the supposed suicide of their son.

I thought the show had made a mistake broadcasting Tony’s return at the end of Redemption and then again in all the commercials leading up to tonight’s premiere, but I have to say that it didn’t take away the punch of the shocker when Jack finds out his longtime friend is still alive.

Annie Wersching is a nice addition as Agent Walker, who could very well be a female Bauer as she displays a few Bauer-esque moves in tonight’s opener, but I also have a soft spot from her brief stint on General Hospital. I need to see more of Janeane Garofalo’s Janis Gold a.k.a The New Chloe before I can decide if it works or not. It was also nice to see Carlos Bernard back as a harder, colder, Almeida – no matter how far fetched it is.

And though I do miss the old CTU offices and familiar faces, in true 24-style I’m sure we’ll be amongst old friends soon enough, and I can’t wait. Tonight’s second hour packs more action than the first, but it’s a definite must-see for 24 fans. The wait is over. DVR The Golden Globes and get your Bauer on tonight.

P.S. There’s a rumor swirling about that I named my son after Jack Bauer. I refuse to confirm or deny… but you totally couldn’t fault me if I did. Right?

24 premieres tonight at 8pm eastern on FOX.

To read my friend Eric Hegedus’ New York Post interview with Cherry Jones (President Taylor – 24) click here.

My Dad Is Like Chloe O’Brian

A few months into my first semester of school it was decided that it would probably be best for me to obtain a part-time job. I didn’t decide this. The decision was all Donny’s… and our bank account’s.

One of the readers of my blog owns local mortgage company and after I blogged about my sudden need of part-time income, he offered to interview me for an office manager position at his company. I had no interest whatsoever in the mortgage industry, but a job is a job is a job, and the guy offering the job was hot. He looks like Colin Farrell, but unlike Colin he doesn’t look like a walking staph infection.

The interview was scheduled for after an exam for my psychology class. The exam was held at the campus of my school that I refer to as “the ghetto campus.” It’s in the same part of town that houses the weave warehouse and where there are liquor stores, check cashing places, and title loan shops on every block. I hated going there.

As I exited US 78 onto Memorial Drive…

“Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?”

“You always lock your car door right when we get into this neighborhood.”

“Inner self, not now, I’m running late for my exam and then I have an interview. Don’t fuck with me.”

“I’m not fucking with you. I just think it’s funny that you think somebody wants this raggedy ass Saturn.”

If I kill my inner self, will I die too?

On the way to the interview, I called my Dad. My Dad and I have this silly thing where if one of us is out driving and needs directions, we’ll call the other and refer to them as CTU from the TV show 24.  You know how Jack Bauer is always calling in saying things like, “Chloe, I need you to uplink me to the mainframe server with level 5 access.”  Well, when I call my Dad and vice versa it’s, “CTU, you got your map book handy?”

After he confirmed that I was going in the right direction he said, “You know, I woke up this morning with a bad feeling.  How do you know this is legit? What if this is some elaborate scheme to get you to meet them?”  My Dad’s a retired NYC detective. The fact that it took him a week to get suspicious means he’s slipping.

I assured him that I’d be fine, but of course by then I was worrying too. To be safe, once I found the building I called Donny to give him my exact coordinates.  See, if my husband were black, that wouldn’t have happened.  He’d have put a lo-jack on my ass the moment I left the house. Poor Donny didn’t even know what part of town I was in till I called him.

Once the interview was over I called my Dad from the car.

“How’d it go?”

“Well, I didn’t get gang raped so I guess it went well.”

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