Pregnancy-Free Babies

I love being a Mom.

But I hate being pregnant.

I love giving birh. (Sue me.)

But I hate being pregnant.

My cousin has two little boys. One is a little younger than Kali, and the other is a little older than Jack. She’s expecting another baby this Summer.

Yesterday, I’m sure I weirded her out because I just kept staring at her belly. We both gave birth last year. And she’s going to do it again this year. I’m equal parts amazed and jealous.

I asked her yesterday, “Do you like being pregnant?” She just kinda shrugged.

Then I realized something.

She’s good at it! She’s good at being pregnant. If I were good at being pregnant, I’d be more inclined to do it again. But I’m not good at being pregnant. In fact, I fail miserably at it.

She is one of those pregnant women where everything on their body stays the same except the belly. Everything on me spreads like Miracle Whip. She gives birth and leaves the hospital in the jeans she wore in high school. I give birth and leave the hospital looking like I’m about to go into labor again. Ive never heard her complain while pregnant. I,on the other hand, complain loudly and often. Then I write blogs about it so hundreds can feel my pain. She also goes into labor, hops on the table, pops out the baby sans drugs, and then puts her feet up to watch a movie. I go into labor and I’m asking that they meet me in the parking lot with an epidural and tequila chaser.

I want another baby, I just don’t want to get pregnant to have it. I wouldn’t even mind having a baby soon. I just don’t want to get pregnant to have it.

I wish there was some way to convince my cousin to have a baby for me.