TCTBTF: Week 12

People often comment, “I don’t know how you do it all!”

I multi-task like a mofo. If I didn’t, I’d go insane. I am incapable of doing just one thing. If I’m studying or doing homework, I’m also watching shows off the TiVO. If I’m going to the bathroom, I’m also reading or on the laptop tweeting and blogging. If I’m playing a video game with Donny, I will stop to read a book when new scenes are “loading.” Even when I’m falling asleep, I’m writing. I’m thinking about the next chapter of my book, or my next blog, of a school project. For someone so lazy, I honestly can’t sit and do nothing.

For the past 12 weeks I’ve made changes to my eating habits, fallen off the wagon, and climbed back on again. I’d yet to make a committment to working out though. My excuse had been, “I’m too busy.” And I am! Between Jack, Kali, schoolwork, the site, and my book, I’m swamped. I couldn’t figure out a way to work out and get other things done. The thought of sweating away on the elliptical and just… well, sweating away on the elliptical seemed boring and a waste of time.

Until last night…

I came home from class, nursed the baby, and changed into work-out clothes. I got on the elliptical and while I worked out…. I played the X-BOX. I know, I know! But it worked! The time flew. I’d been saying for months now that I wish I had freetime to play video games like I used to. Well, now I have a way to get my gaming on and do something worthwhile.

Last night it was Uno Rush. I don’t think I can handle anything as involved as sniping people in the head in Halo 3. I’ll just stick to card games for now.

Breakfast today: Yogurt and cranberry juce. After I post this I’m gonna make some egg whites, whole wheat toast, with a tbs of peanut butter and more juice. Dinner will be pasta with meat sauce and a green salad.

I’m down 2lbs this week. Bringing my 12 week total to …. -4. I’m getting back on track, folks. And when Donny gets home and takes Jack, my Mom and I will do the Wii Fit.

How have you been?

TCTBTF Week 10: Saboteurs!

After four weeks of very bad behavior (McDonalds, banana pudding, and cookies, oh my!) I am getting back on the wagon. Being overwhelmed with school and Jack are no excuse.

Despite my mother’s and Donny’s (who knew he was a chubby chaser?) actions to sabotage my efforts, not to mention my own weakness, I will be weighing in tomorrow to survey the four-week damage.

No matter what the numbers are, I’m prepared to take action.

1. I’ve planned my menu for next week and will be going out for the ingredients tomorrow morning.

2. My Mom works out before I wake up. She will hold on to Jack from 9am-10am every morning so I can work out.

I tease my mother because as I watched her unpack the other day, I noticed every weight loss apparatus sold on television. There were belts, balls, straps, and ropes.

“The next time you want to piss away some money, just give it to me.”

Yesterday, she said..

“I think I’m gonna hook up my VCR tomorrow.”

“Who still uses a VCR?”

“I do.”

“Why?”

“For my Tae-Bo tapes.”

Jesus.

Because so many have asked, and since I won’t be using it anytime soon… the banana pudding recipe my mom has made twice since she’s been here.

Warning: It’s so good it will make you want to smack yo’ mama, and then my mama for all the calories, then Paula Dean ’cause that’s who she got it from. I include this for all my non-dieting peeps a.k.a. the skinny bitches.

• 2 bags Pepperidge Farm Chessmen cookies
• 6 to 8 bananas, sliced
• 2 cups milk
• 1 (5-ounce) box instant French vanilla pudding
• 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 (12-ounce) container frozen whipped topping thawed, or equal amount sweetened whipped cream

Directions

Line the bottom of a 13 by 9 by 2-inch dish with 1 bag of cookies and layer bananas on top.

In a bowl, combine the milk and pudding mix and blend well using a handheld electric mixer. Using another bowl, combine the cream cheese and condensed milk together and mix until smooth. Fold the whipped topping into the cream cheese mixture. Add the cream cheese mixture to the pudding mixture and stir until well blended. Pour the mixture over the cookies and bananas and cover with the remaining cookies. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Diet challenge: Major props to the first person that can low-fat that baby down.

So, here I go again, and wish me luck!

How have your efforts gone?

TCTBTF: Week 6 and some other stuff!

I have found the best.diet.ever.

The flu!

Jack and I have spent the whole week fighting a cold and as a result, I’m down another 3lbs! This is awesome. Well, not really.

It’s been slow going, but I haven’t given up hope. And as usual, imagine how much weight I’d lose if I actually put my ass in motion.

The cauliflower mashed “taters” were a no-go because it gives the baby gas. So, boo on that. Also, I think I’ve given up on peanut butter.

So, let’s move on to other stuff since I’m sick and it’s my blog and I can talk about what I want.

I’m addicted to Twitter. Really, I am. I tweet all day with people I just met. Twit this, twat that… Wait. If you’re on there, follow me and I’ll follow you. I’ll occasionally post things there that you won’t find here. I’m Neenerspb.

Also, starting today, my Friday entertainment blog will be a Survivor recap and on Mondays there will be two entertainment blogs; The L Word recap and The Amazing Race recap. The L Word will end before TAR so eventually it will even out again. I’ll update the BIOB Posting Schedule.

So, what do you want to talk about?

P.S. I’m so excited about tonight’s BSG I can barely frakking stand it!

TCTBTF: Week 5

Sunday 2/1

Calories consumed on Super Bowl Sunday do not count. The end.

Ok, not the end. This morning Kali and I went for our first weekly “Girl’s Day Out.” We first went to IHOP for hot chocolate, but since neither of us had breakfast, hot chocolate turned into all-you-can-eat pancakes. Ask me how many I ate? Go ahead. Ask me.

Two. Two measly pancakes.

My cousin and my Dad came over to watch the game. About an hour before the game I was so hungry my hands were shaking. All I could think about was the waitress asking, “Ma’am, can I get you more pancakes?” and me saying, “No, I’m full.”

That’s just wrong. What was I thinking? Why get all-you-can-eat pancakes if your punk-ass can’t handle it?

Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever get so hungry that all you can think about all the good food you wasted? I’d have kicked a kitten to get my hands on those pancakes.

Tuesday 2/3

I have the best husband ever. Every Tuesday and Thursday he comes home, takes Jack so I can get ready for class, and makes dinner. When I come downstairs, ready to go, he’s packed a Rubbermaid container with my dinner, and a snack. Tonight it was roast, coconut rice, and corn. My snack was apple slices and carrots with lite ranch dressing. Oh, and a bottled water.

I’m grateful because it stops me from getting fast food. I never met a drive-thru I didn’t like.

Thursday 2/5

I had a big, flaky, carb-filled, NY bagel. Straight from NY. My Dad brought some back when he went last weekend. They’ve been in the freezer mocking me since then. I gave in.

It was worth it.

Donny has handed over the title of saboteur to my father.
Friday 2/6

Between the soda and burger-fest on Sunday and the bagel yesterday, I don’t have high hopes. Oh yeah, and I haven’t worked out all week.

Well, I’ll be damned. I’ve maintained for two weeks straight.

I REALLY need to work out people. Imagine how much weight-loss ass I’d be kicking then?

Week 5 weight loss: 0lbs

5 week total: -7lbs

Bleh.

I need some simple, healthy, chicken recipes – boneless & skinless only.

How did you do?

TCTBTF: Week 4

I am happy to report, yes happy, that I have not lost nor gained any weight this week. This is perfect because it allows me to address something. I don’t believe in quick fixes! I don’t believe in magic pills, and magic creams, and magic food combinations (try the corn salsa chick pea diet!) that will suddenly make the pounds disappear. It took me awhile to get to this point, because I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe that just three small payments of $19.98 and one jar of fat burning cream later, weight loss was possible.

Bullshit.

We all know the key to weight loss and being healthy: Eat less, eat better, and move your fat ass around every now and again.  For the past month I was proof positive of that and I think it’s fitting, and accurate, that this week I maintained. Why? Because I only did two of those things (eat less, eat better… and even then I half-assed it) and the third… yeah, not so much.

I guess I’m also taking this week’s status quo so easily because normally when I diet, I’m also getting my period. So, there’s that one week out of the month where I either maintain or gain a pound or two (but the next week I always lost a good chunk.) Of course, I’m nursing and not getting my period now, but I can still live with one maintaining week out of the month.

So, what did I do (or didn’t do) to not lose weight this week? Well, for one, I had an inside out burger. Donny took ground sirloin and seasoned it with course salt and ground black pepper. Then he chopped up a shallot really fine and mixed it all together with some Worcestershire sauce. Next, he chopped up about six slices of bacon into tiny bits and cooked it on the stove and then added to that mushrooms. While that was cooking, he sliced up some swiss cheese into cubes. He made one large patty with the ground sirloin and pressed a well in the middle into which he put the cooked bacon, mushroom, and some of the cheese. Then, he covered that patty with a smaller patty and sealed it together. He cooked those on the stove for a few minutes on each side, then put them in the oven.

So, it’s Donny’s fault.

When he had left for the store to get the ingredients, we’d seen it on a cooking show we TiVo’d, I went to the show’s site. I noticed it listed grapeseed oil which was not mentioned on the show. So, when Donny came back and had already been preparing them downstairs, I told him about it.

“Oh, I just cooked the burgers in the bacon grease.”

“Um, why don’t you just sprinkle some sugar on those bitches and then come rub them directly on my ass.”

So, yeah one night I had an inside out burger with a green salad on the side. And I didn’t keep one pledge to work out! Between working on this site, Jack, perfecting my query letter, massive amounts of school work and quizzes, and finishing my book, I just haven’t had the time.

Other than that, I did really well. I mean, at least I didn’t gain, right? This morning’s breakfast was:

-         A bowl of multi-grain cheerios

-         One strawberry banana yogurt

-         1tbs of peanut butter

-         a banana

-         grape juice

Week 4 weight loss: 0

Overall: -7lbs

Next week’s pledges:

-         Workout!

-         Try cauliflower mashed “taters”

What about you? How’d you do? What are your pledges for next week? Did you keep any this week?

TCTBTF: Week 3

Monday 1/19

If you’re trying to eat better, I highly recommend writing about it. I swear these three weeks have flown by. Normally, when I get back on the wagon the first two weeks are the worst; it’s hard for me to get used to the smaller portions and I’m usually super-cranky because I’m having a hard time adjusting.

Not so now. These three weeks have been a breeze.

Breakfast is usually one of the same few items – multigrain Cheerios, oatmeal, scrambled egg whites, whole wheat toast, yogurt, fruit, juice, water. Lunch is some sort of sandwich with veggies or something from the breakfast menu. Dinner is my biggest meal and it’s always a lean meat, veggies, with either wild rice or whole wheat pasta. Snacks are fruit, granola bars, yogurt, or whole wheat crackers.

Tuesday 1/20

I’ve been soda free for three weeks! But I have a new addiction. Peanut butter. Good lord. I eat a spoonful with breakfast… another with a snack. I spread it on celery and bananas.

Wednesday 1/21

Kali wants my peanut butter. She never thinks about peanut butter, but now, all of sudden, she wants peanut butter.

“Mommy, can I have some?”

I want to say, “Get your own!”

But she has no job.

She now spreads it on bananas. So that means she’s dogging my bananas too.

I asked Donny to pick up more peanut butter tonight.

Thursday 1/22

Good God, I love peanut butter. This peanut butter tastes funny though.

Who told Donny to get reduced fat?

I’m sure he’s trying to be helpful, but yeah… don’t.

I weighed myself before going to class. Down 7lbs. That’s crazy talk. I haven’t worked out all week because I just don’t have the time. There’s no way I lost 7lbs in one week. That can’t be right.

Friday 1/23/09

It wasn’t. This week’s damage?

-2lbs

Three week total? 7lbs.

Now, imagine what I can do if I just work out?

Next week I pledge to:

1. Do the Wii Fit x2
2. Elliptical at least once
3. Take a walk around neighborhood with Jack if weather permits.

How bout you? How was your week? What could you be doing better, and what are you willing to pledge for next week to get there?

Note: I am not on a peanut butter diet. I just thought the picture was funny. Also, spare me the lectures about peanut butter. Remember, my caloric intake is still higher than most because I’m breast feeding.

TCTBTF: Week 2

Too Cute To Be This Fat: Week 2

“Walking Nearly Killed Me. Fo’ Real”

Monday 1/12

I started school today. I logged in to my online classes, read a few syllabi, made notes in my day planner as to when things were due, and logged out. I’m waiting for the books for those classes to arrive in the mail so there wasn’t much else I could do. (Biology, Biology online lab, and Spanish, btw.)

This is really a good mode for me to be in when trying to lose weight. I succeed when I make lists, write down dates, and track my actions. When I get into this mode, the pounds seem to fly off.

I’m down another three pounds since Friday. At first I was like, “Woohoo!” Then I wondered have I finally gotten so big that I’m at the “the bigger you are the faster you lose weight” stage. Ugh.

Tonight I baked Applesauce Oatmeal muffins. A sparkpeople.com recipe. They had me eating two for breakfast tomorrow and since I knew I’d never be able to actually bake with Jack awake in the morning, I decided to bake them tonight while everyone was asleep.

Jack woke up just as the muffins were done. Good boy.

Tuesday 1/13/09

I just had my spark-approved breakfast of:

Two applesauce oatmeal muffins

1 banana

1 strawberry/banana yogurt

1.5 tbs peanut butter

water

I looove peanut butter. I measured out the 1.5 tbs and put it in a ramekin, then I grabbed my banana, yogurt, two muffins, and headed back upstairs. Jack is sleeping so I’m all tippy-toey.

The muffins are good. I wish they were sweeter, but they may be just sweet enough. (Note: Donny later said he grabbed one of his way out to work and that they tasted like paper and ass. He gets on my nerves.) I think they’re perfect for a low-cal carb/sweet fix when you’re craving them. What I found particularly enjoyable was putting some peanut butter in my mouth before biting into a muffin. Yum.

Tonight I go to my two journalism classes; Intro. To Mass Communication and Basic Newswriting. This is the first time I’ll be going to an actual class (and not online) since 2007. At the same time that I’m excited to go and get out of the house, I’m also worried that Jack will not drink breastmilk from the bottle. We’ve tried giving him some after cereal feedings and he just kinda plays with it.

I pumped about five ounces and it’s in the fridge. Donny can take a bit of it and mix it with cereal for Jack’s dinner and then try to bottle feed him the rest. God, please let my baby eat while I’m gone.

Wed. 1/14/09

Last night, walking to my classroom, I damn near had a heart attack. It was like I was carrying ME on my back. I gotta lose weight. For real.

I am proud of myself for taking healthy snacks with me to school so that I wouldn’t be tempted to stop at Wendy’s on the way to school… and on the way home.

I brought with me carrots w/ lite ranch dressing, granola bars, and two bottles of water.

Today I had multi-grain cheerios, a banana, and 1.5 tbs of peanut butter for breakfast. My morning snack was strawberry yogurt.

For dinner I’m gonna have homemade pizzas, with homemade whole wheat dough, and low fat cheese. I’m thinking I may sauté some onions and MAYBE put some grilled chicken on there as well. I’m definitely going to experiment though because there are some good ways to have a healthy pizza and it’s relatively cheap to make. You surely save money having a big bag of whole wheat flour and a few packets of yeast (28 cents a packet) on hand versus ordering out.

Thurs 1/15/09

Class again today. The same thing: I had to walk from the parking deck to the English building and damn near had a heart attack. Just the effort of lifting my legs to take steps after awhile was almost too much to bear. I’m definitely walking uphill and the big bag with books and laptop doesn’t help either. I think we’ll know I’m making progress when I don’t write about what torture it is to walk to class.

The most unhealthy thing I had was a hot dog on a whole wheat bun before running out the door. Other than that it was my usual healthy breakfast, lunch, and snacks.

When I left class I walked to the building that houses the computer lab. I walked out of the English building into the biting cold and looked from the other building to the parking deck, from the parking deck back to the building. I could walk to the parking deck, get my car, and drive to the computer lab. I decided to walk. I need the exercise obviously.

Big mistake. It was cold and I’m out of shape. What was I thinking? By the time I walked into the warmth of the building I was panting with my mouth open, my face was red, my ears felt like they were gonna fall off, I was teary-eyed, and my nose was running. I had to get myself together before asking directions to the lab. After I got my log-in password to use the school’s wireless connection (my purpose for hitting up the lab), I walked to the parking deck.

That was probably the most vigorous exercise I’d had all week.

I’ve found that having good protein in the morning makes me less hungry in that break between breakfast and lunch. I’ve become a fan of smearing a tablespoon of peanut butter over a banana or even putting a little on my granola bars.

I pretty much devoured a big box of Multi-Grain Cheerios this week.

For lunch I had some tuna with whole wheat crackers and grape juice.

My driving home from class snack has been carrots with lite ranch dressing. I also drink lots of water during class.

Fri. 1/16/09

Ok, two weeks down. What’s the damage?

-2lbs

Two week total: 5lbs

I think today is an oatmeal kinda day. It’s cold outside. A cup of oatmeal w/ maybe a sprinkle of brown sugar instead of regular… some yogurt and granola for a mid-morning snack. Lunch: ham on wheat, carrots and cucumber w/ lite ranch, and a banana. Apple slices and granola bar for afternoon snack.

Not sure about dinner yet. I haven’t been downstairs so I don’t know what Donny may have taken out. I don’t smell anything cooking so I know he didn’t set a roast to cook in the slow-cooker (my new favorite meal.)

I think, from reflecting on this week, that next week it’s time to seriously add some exercise. I could have lost more, I’m sure, with it. I went to freecylce.org and someone is giving away a treadmill that is permanently on an incline. But, hey, free is free and free is me.

How bout you? How’d you do this week? Any tips/recipes you want to share?

Applesauce Oatmeal Muffins

1 cup old fashion rolled oats (not instant)
1 cup non-fat milk
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
2 egg whites
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. sugar
raisins or nuts (optional)

Nutritional Info

	Fat: 0.5g Carbohydrates: 20.5g Calories:93.5 Protein: 2.9g

Soak the oats in milk for about one hour.
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
Spray muffin pan with cooking spray.
Combine the oat mixture with the applesauce and egg whites, and mix until combined.
In a separate bowl measure and whisk the dry ingredients together.
Add wet ingredients to dry and mix until just combined. Add nuts or raisins if desired.
Do not over mix the batter or the muffins will be tough. Spoon muffin mixture into muffin pan.
Combine the cinnamon and sugar and top each muffin with some of the mixture.
Bake for 20-25 minutes or until done.
Remove from pan, cool and enjoy.
These can be frozen and reheated in the microwave for a quick breakfast.

Number of Servings: 12

17 Pounds

It’s a funny thing to be losing weight, but rarely leave the house. You don’t really get how much weight you’re losing until you put on a pair of jeans and a red baby t-shirt. A red baby tee from a television show given away in a swanky gift bag along with cosmetics and costume jewelry by the network at a launch party. A red baby tee sent to you by your friend who attends such events with a sense of boredom and “been there, done that” so he sends you all the cool stuff like designer purses and Emmy swag because he’s so “over it.”

And you sit home in your southern suburban home, soaking it all up because that is the very epitome of living vicariously and… you like free stuff.

Then one day, you realize that you don’t want to go to your nephew’s first birthday party looking like a schlub. You decide to do some serious hair removal on your face – getting old sucks- and pull out the free cosmetics and sexy t-shirt.

What is it about expensive stuff that you would never by for yourself, but given to you for free, that is so damn… sexy? The eyeshadow was as smooth as butter. It was like rubbing lotion on my eyelids… sexy, coral, lotion. And the t-shirt… oh. my . God. The t-shirt.

It was soft like a cloud… a sexy, red, cloud. And kinda stretchy. Like a girdle. A.. sexy…red…girdle. It just held everything in and hugged my boobs. Ladies, you know what I mean. And I don’t know what made me have the cajones to put on such a t-shirt. I mean, holding it up when I opened the package from Richard I thought, “Who’s this for? Kali?” Then I realized he wouldn’t send her a sexy red tee with the words, “The revolution will be accessorized” on it. Seriously, what gave me the idea I could even think of….

Oh wait. I know what. Losing 17 pounds might have something to do with it. Yeah, nothing motivates you to keep eating right and working out like realizing that losing 17lbs means fitting into sexy jeans and t-shirts again. Top that off with new makeup (Donny said as I applied it, I actually moaned, but I don’t remember that) and a pair of heels and well… it’s all worth it.

So, that’s how I spent my Saturday. At my parents house celebrating my nephew’s first year in this world… with his cute self… and feeling prettier and thinner than I have in a long time. And I’m not even done yet!

Cherry Coke Schmerry Coke

I’ve lost 15lbs in 60 days. That’s almost 2lbs per week. That is healthy. After a few weeks I stopped referring to it as a diet. Especially around Kali. It hasn’t been nearly as hard as I thought.

In the past 60 days I’ve had three baked potatoes, five cupcakes, six slices of pizza, and as of last night… one Cherry Coke.

And I’ve still lost 15lbs because in the 60 days prior to that, those numbers were a helluva lot higher with little to no exercise on top of it all.

Last night, no one felt like cooking. I was still nursing my migraine hangover, Donny had a rough day, and Kali wasn’t feeling well. We all kind of wanted to just “hang out.” Donny has learned in the past 60 days to stop asking me, “Can you have… (insert food name here.)” My answer is always the same, “I can have whatever I want. I just have to be smart.”

I knew that I wasn’t cutting out cola from my life for good. It was just a personal decision when I decided to change the way I eat to include no soda. Drinking water was always a struggle for me, but I wanted to be healthier. I wanted to see if it would really help my skin and hair look healthier. It has. I wanted to be a normal person who didn’t drink 6 cans of Cherry Coke a day. Who ate pizza once in a while instead of three times per week… and who knew how to stop after 2 or 3 slices.

I thought I’d feel differently after drinking cola again for the first time. I’m not sure how I thought I’d feel exactly, but I didn’t expect to feel so damn… guilt-free. So many people said to me that drinking a can of soda would help that migraine hangover and I figured I’d give it a shot. As I cracked open that can and took my first sip I thought, “This feels weird.” For the past 60 days I’ve had nothing but bottled water, the ocassional 4 oz. of orange juice with breakfast, milk, and one fruit smoothie. That’s it. Nothing carbonated. Just holding the can felt funny.

After the first few sips I started smiling like a fool.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I am just happy.”

“Because you’re drinking soda?”

I told him…because I’m drinking soda and it’s no big deal. Because I’ve lost 15lbs and these jeans are hanging off my ass. Because I’m drinking soda, but tomorrow I’m still going to have my multi-grain Cherrios, wheat toast, and orange juice for breakfast. I’m still going to have tuna on wheat for lunch with baby carrots. I’m still going to have 2 oz. of grilled pork, a cup of wild rice, and half a cup of sweet corn for dinner. I’m still going to have three healthy snacks throughout the day and workout in the morning. I’m still going to drink about 12 glasses of water tomorrow.

For the first time in years I was in control of the soda and it wasn’t in control of me. Who knows? It may be another 60 days before I drink another soda. It may be 90 days. Whatever. It’s just not that big of a deal anymore. I may eat some candy on Halloween. Big deal. I’ve already decided that I’m not even going to sweat Thanksgiving. I’m going to eat what I want. It’s just one day. One meal.

One day, one meal, didn’t make my ass overweight so why should it going in reverse? I feel really, really, good, guys. Really good. And I look even better.

Sparkpeople.com

What are you waiting for?

When I joined Spark People, or as it Richard and OMC call it, “The Cult of the Sparkles,” I chose to track my weight loss by the pound and not by the date, meaning that I entered in the weight I wanted and it spit out the reasonable date the weight loss could be achieved. I didn’t care. I’m not in a race, contest, or a rush. I also broke it up into two goals. I’m really paying attention to what I look like at certain weights to determine when to stop. According to the experts, I should be about 159 for my height. Everyone hears that, takes one look at me, and go, “Ehh… I don’t know. You may look like a crackhead.”

So, the other day when I logged in my new dropped pound hitting that 15lb mark the computer basically said, “Um, yeah. Listen, you are 8lbs away from your first goal weight and the date of achievement is October 24th. That would mean over 3lbs per week and that’s not really healthy so you may want to consider pushing the date back.” I didn’t get mad or upset. Like I said, I’m in no hurry. So the new date is November 8th.

Donny found my old spousal military ID and it read that I was 5’11 and 140lbs. I was stunned. Surely, that couldn’t be right. That’s like super skinny. Was I ever really that skinny? The picture was taken about 10-11 years ago. If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t have believed it.

I never want to be that thin again. I just want to fit into, and feel good in, all the sexy ass clothes in my closet.