Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5 Epi 13: The Oath

Previously on Battlestar Galactica: Adama considers upgrading all the fleet’s FTL drives with Cylon technology. The Quorum calls a vote to keep Cylons off the ships in the fleet without the ship’s permission. It passes. A few ships get all mutinous including the tilium ship which carries the fleet’s fuel. It jumps away. Adama blackmails Zarek into giving up the location of the tilium ship and Gimpy Gaeta joins forces with Zarek behind the Admiral’s back. Motherfraker.

And now…

Tigh reports to Adama that there is still grumbling among the fleet. Tigh’s one eye nearly bulges out of his Cylon head when President Roslin appears in Adama’s quarters in her bathrobe.

Gimpy Gaeta makes plans with Zarek to get him off Galactica.

President Roslin is still all,”I’m Switzerland and not getting involved in nothing.” I get it, you have cancer, and it sucks, but enough already. President Roslin has been declawed.

At the hangar, Gimpy Gaeta’s mutinous comrades lie in order to get Zarek on a ship off of Galactica. Zarek kills a flight personnel that gets too fast and loose with the questions. One of Gaius’ followers sees it all go down.

And we have credits… and that annoying few seconds of everything we’re about to see in the episode. I usually ignore that, but tonight I’m all in it!

0704 Hours – On the CIC deck, Adama and Tigh have no idea that shit’s ’bout to go down. When Zarek’s ship shows up on draedus, Gimpy Traitor Gaeta figures out a way to cover by suggesting the system is glitchy. Tigh orders a full diagnostic on draedus and he puts some extra stank on the word, “draedus.” I don’t know why, but it’s funny as hell.

0741 Hours – Aboard Colonial One there’s an emergency session going on with the Quorum. Lee is surprised to see Zarek show up and he’s led to think that Zarek’s release is on the up and up.

Anders is tossing balls in the locker room when some girl shows up. I’m sure I’m supposed to know who she is, but I don’t. Her name is apparently Diana. She diverts Anders’ attention by whining about how he didn’t want to frak her once upon a time, and he’s jumped by two other traitors.

0809 Hours- Back on the CIC deck, a fire alarm goes off at C-deck. Gimpy Gaeta manipulates the situation and gets Adama to order an evacuation of the deck.

0812 Hours- Starbuck gives Hot Dog a hard time for frakkin’ Callie and getting her knocked up. The fire alarm evacuation announcement comes over the system and Starbuck notices civilians getting armed. She knows something ain’t right. She tries to call Adama, but Gimpy Gaeta pulls a cock-block.

On Colonial One, Lee calls to find out why Zarek was released and again Gimpy Gaeta runs interference. Zarek tells Lee that he can’t reconcile his position as the Caprican representative on the Quorum and that of being the Admiral’s son. Meanwhile, Gimpy Gaeta manipulates the communication systems.

As Lee arrives aboard Galactica he is jumped by some rebels. They’re about to execute him when Starbuck shows up and fucks. shit. up. My only complaint? Why didn’t she just take ALL of their asses out before running off with Lee?

Athena and Helo are taken by the rebels with one threatening to rape Athena later. See, his ass is gonna have to die. (Helo receives a Rodney King-style beatdown.)

0902 Hours- In a dry storage compartment, Starbuck and Lee can’t believe what is happening. She kisses him. Um, yeah. It seems the high drama is just what Starbuck needed to have her feeling more like herself. You know, horny and highly inappropriate.

0908 Hours- On the CIC, Tigh and the gang are starting to realize something ain’t right. There’s fire, but nothing is burning. No damage reports are coming in.

Helo is thrown in the brig with Six, Athena, Hera and Anders. Six suspects that they’re gonna die because the humans feel threatened by their reproductive skillz. Athena warns Anders that if he doesn’t have any special Final Five knowledge, he better act like he do. Sheeeit.

0913 Hours- Deck F, Corridor 6: Lee and Starbuck make their way to Adama’s quarters.

0922 Hours – Gaeta finally makes his move against Adama and Tigh. A young soldier is killed trying to protect Adama. Tigh looks like he wants to go all Cylon-white-boy-crazy, but Adama orders him to stand down.

Adama makes it clear that anyone that goes along with this bullshit will not be forgiven. Gimpy Gaeta at least has the decency to gulp. He then orders Adama and Tigh taken into custody. Adama orders the guards not to touch him and you know what? They don’t. He is still the man.

0925 Hours – Lee and Starbuck step over mad shell casings before they finally make it to Adama’s quarters where they find the President. She’s wearing a fierce wig. They fill her in and she says she has a way to get around the communications problems Gaeta caused.

0934 Hours – On the CIC, Gimpy Gaeta’s acting like a big boy wearing Daddy’s shoes when he’s not home.

Gaius tells his followers that he doesn’t want to leave them… but he will. ‘Cause that’s how Gaius rolls. Tyrol is in charge of the efforts to barricade themselves in and find a way off Galactica.

The President arrives at Gaius’ quarters where Tyrol tells her that the hangar is lost to them and that if they can get Adama to the secondary storage bay, he can get him off Galactica within the hour. Starbuck and Lee leave to find Adama and President Roslin stays to speak with Gaius.

0947 Hours- Two marines are escorting Adama and Tigh to the brig and Adama lets them both know that when it’s all over, their asses are grass. Adama and Tigh jump the two marines and take one hostage.

Two old ass pimps! That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!

President Roslin convinces Gaius to let her use his pirate wireless set up to communicate with the fleet.

1012 Hours – On the CIC, Gimpy Gaeta has to deal with the confusion from the other ships wondering why Galactica has gone all quiet. Gaeta fills in Zarek on a scrambled line, but President Roslin interrupts and addresses the fleet. She implores the fleet not to go along with the mutiny and trust in those that got them this far… you know, the Cylon-alliance, Earth was all frakked up, now we don’t know where we’re going, far. Gaeta figures out a way to cut off her communication.

1017 Hours- Near the AUX machine access, Starbuck and Lee run into Adama, Tigh, and their hostage. Starbuck wants to pop a cap in the captive’s ass, but Adama won’t let her. Adama lets him go, and Starbuck tries to pop a cap in his retreating ass anyway. Finally, I like Starbuck and how she rolls. Like a gangsta!

1021 Hours – In the secondary storage bay, Gaius and President Roslin wonder if Gimpy Gaeta grew a pair before or after his leg was cut off.

1023 Hours – Near the waste water storage, Lee blames the Cylons for all their woes. He needs to take a cue from Lost and get with the stand together or die alone creed and stop whining.

Why isn’t Tigh concerned about his baby mama?

1027 Hours- Gaius calls to reason with Gimp Gaeta, but he ain’t having it. Gaius threatens him with “their little secret sealed with a special pen.”

1023 Hours- At the secondary storage airlock, the rescue Raptor arrives just as Starbuck, Lee, Tigh, and Adama do. Gimpy Gaeta knows what’s up and sends some men there to stop them.

The President and Adama start smooching making everyone around uncomfortable. Time and a place, people. Time and a place.

Adama orders Lee, Starbuck, and Tyrol to go back the way they came while he and Tigh hold off Gimpy Gaeta’s men so that the President and Gaius can escape on the Raptor. Adama and Roslin start to kiss goodbye again, but Gaius is all, “Can we get the frak up outta here, please?”

As Gaeta’s men begin to blowtorch their way in, Gaeta orders a Viper to engage the Raptor and shoot it down, and Adama and Tigh prepare to go out like pimps and take some mofos with them!

HAWT!

Adama fires a few shots through the opening made by Gaeta’s men’s progress… just to let them know he ain’t frakkin’ around.

“It’s been an honor to serve with you, my friend.”

Tigh kneels and peers through his scope with his one good eye.

Gimpy Gaeta’s men toss in a smoke grenade.

And it’s on!

To be continued…

“Son of a bitch,” I say to no one in particular.

Damn, I love this show.

Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5 Epi 12: The Disquiet That Follows My Soul

Previously on BSG: Tori bitch-slaps Callie out the airlock. Tigh fraks Six and knocks her up. Prez. Roslin is all depressed ’cause Earth was a bust. Adama’s all, “Forget that noise, we outtie.”

And now…

Adama gets ready for his day Mr. Rogers-style… but it’s really boring.

Six and Tigh are with Doc Coddle and a nurse looking at their baby on an ultrasound. Proving that Cylon and human men have something in common, Tigh can’t tell what the hell he’s looking at… even if he did have two eyes.

Six starts going on and on about how her baby is the future of the Cylon nation, and the nurse gets a “ruh-roh” look on her face. Oblivious, Six continues on saying how they no longer need to worry about resurrecting, and they’re gonna live forever, and maybe one day they will be strong enough again to enslave the huma— oh, did I say that last part out loud? At this point, nurse lady looks like her eyes are gonna bulge outta her head. Shut up, Six! ‘Fore she goes all Rosemary’s Baby on you!

Gaeta’s all salty ’cause Doc Coddle is tending to the Cylons instead of his bloody stump. Interesting note: Gaeta says suicides are up and the Prez is M.I.A. Tyrol rushes in with baby Nicky who is pissing blood. Gaeta is behind yet another Cylon.

At a press conference, someone finally has the balls to ask why Tigh’s Cylon ass is still second-in-command of Galactica. Everyone wants to know if there’s gonna be a Cylon alliance. Adama ain’t saying anything. But, big mouf Lee let it slip when asked about the final Cylon, “We believe she’s dead.” Afterwards, he laments, “I can’t believe I let that slip.”

What? Do they know? Was Lee bullshittin’? Did Tigh tell them? They ain’t saying. At least not this week. Bastids.

V.P. Tom is not happy. Earth was a mess, Prez is missing, and he don’t want no damn Cylon alliance. Adama lobs a threat, Tom lobs one back, there’s another for good measure… and we have credits!

And then we have the annoying flashes giving away everything we’re about to see, so I turn my head.

Tigh, Tyrol, Helo (with his fine ass), Lee, and Gaeta are meeting with Adama. They’re discussing upgrading the fleet’s ships with Cylon technology FTL drives, but they know the Quarum ain’t gonna have it. Gaeta ain’t having it either especially because it would require dozens of sixes and eights aboard the fleet ships to get the job done. Gaeta wants to know what the catch is and Tyrol informs them that the Cylons want to be a part of the fleet, not just riding shotgun. They want to be citizens, a seat on the Quarum, and they want full protection in case Brother Cavil shows up. Gaeta almost amputates his other leg with his teeth he’s so incredulous.

The biggest revelation to come out of this scene is that I think Col. Tigh is kinda hawt! How come I’ve not noticed this before? He has an old, gruff, grizzly, one-eye, sexy thing going on.

Nicky has chronic renal failure which could lead to acute renal failure and he could lose a kidney. Tyrol finds out he’s not the baby daddy. Doc Coddle says he will tell the true father first, then Tyrol can bust a Cylon cap in his ass. I wonder who it is? Gaeta, maybe?

The Prez isn’t taking her meds, but she does yoga. She is not opposed to the Cylons joining the fleet.

Gaeta goads Starbuck in the mess hall, “You’re married to a Cylon.”

“At least I’m not a gimp.”

Ooooh, burn.

Gaeta is a real prick with one leg. He threatens to beat Starbuck’s ass one day and I nearly fall off the bed laughing. Starbuck could totally beat dat ass. She leaves, and Gaeta tells all the remaining soldiers they need to talk. I smell a revolt.

V.P. Tom is talking the Quarum up. Roslin and Adama are morons, he says. The Quarum agrees that no Cylon shall board a ship in the fleet without the permission of it’s people.

I say Galactica gets its own upgraded FTL drives and leave their ungrateful asses. But that’s just me.

Roslin is jogging through the halls like Rocky… in Rocky 6. She need to sit down somewhere. Adama gets a disturbing call and brushes his teeth. I don’t know why either. Adama tells Roslin they need her to get her shit together. She’s done., she says. She has played the role of the dying leader, taking the people to the blah blah blah. No, she really says blah, blah blah. She thinks she has earned the right to live before she dies.

Gaius is talking to the crazies, broadcasting his radio show. What did they do to deserve this fate? What kind of God would abandon them this way? The crazies scream with frothing mouths. Tyrol sees Nicky’s real baby daddy and gives him a Cylon beatdown.

Tigh is incensed that the ships are refusing their orders to let the Cylons aboard for upgrades. Gimp Gaeta gets all fresh-mouthed and back-talky. Helo looks like he wants to smack him, but an emergency call about the tilium ship crew’s mutiny spares Gimp Gaeta a fat lip.

The tilium ship will not communicate with Galactica, but they listen in as they talk to Colonial One and VP Tom tells them they have every right to protect themselves. They jump away with the fleet’s fuel supply… and then Adama delivers the best.line.ever.

“There are days when I really hate this job.”

If Galactica ain’t careful, they’ll be facing their own problems as Gaeta has a mutinous look in his gimpy little eyes.

Adama orders Athena to arrest the VP… and shoot his ass if necessary if he doesn’t come peacefully.

Tyrol orders Hot Dog (Nicky’s baby daddy) to sit his ass down with his son until he tells him otherwise.

Adama confronts VP Tom with evidence that he was involved in extortion. He will tell everyone if Tom doesn’t give up the location of the tilium ship. The whole exchange proves what a badass Adama is.

Gimpy Gaeta teams up with VP Tom to overthrow Galactica. Why isn’t Adama aware that this was coming? Oh, probably because….

Adama is laid up in the afterglow with Roslin when word comes in that the tilium ship was found. Neither care.

I predict that next week Adama is going to rip off Gaeta’s other leg and shove it up his traitorous ass.

What do you think?

Oh, I submit my BSG blogs to a website each week, and thought you guys might want to check the site out here.

Battlestar Galactica: Season 4.5 – Epi. 11: Sometimes A Great Notion

Before we jump into the final season’s premiere, let’s do a review. Here are the top ten things you need to know about Battlestar Galactica:

1. The fate of the human race is in jeopardy – In the pilot episode, the 12 colonies of humanity were wiped out by the Cylons. Cylons were robots designed by the humans for military defense, but evolved (now look human) and revolted. They killed billions of people in an attack on the 12 colonies of Kobol including Caprica.

2. Admiral Adama leads the colonists in a search for Earth – Battlestar Galactica, commanded by Admiral Adama (Edward James Olmos), is the only battlestar to survive the attack and leads the surviving fleet (about 50,000 ppl) in search of the mythical planet Earth. Legend goes that the 13th colonists fled many years ago and settled on Earth. They hope that there will be life there. The Cylons are hot on their asses.

3. The Galactica crew is a family – Adama and President Laura Roslin (Mary McDonald) are like the mother/father figures of the surviving fleet. Roslin was the Secretary of Education when the attack happened, and the 43 people in line ahead of her to be President all died in the attack. She more than rises to the occasion. Laura and Adama have grown close.

Colonel Saul Tigh is Adama’s best friend and the executive officer of Galactica.

Lee Adama is Admiral Adama’s son and a fighter pilot aboard Galactica. They had an uneasy relationship. Kara Thrace a.k.a Starbuck is the best pilot in the fleet. She dated Adama’s dead son, Zach, who died in combat. Lee Adama and Starbuck had affairs while being married to other people. Lee to Dualla (Galactica officer) and Starbuck to Anders, a surviver from Caprica.

Dr. Gaius Baltar was duped into letting the Cylons into the nation’s defense system which helped the Cylons launch their attack.

4. Cylons look like us now - There are 12 models of human-looking Cylons. And there are thousands of each model that are copies. If you kill one, the body dies but its consciousness is instantly downloaded into a new body (identical to the one that died) aboard one of their resurrection ships. Caprica 6 (the sixth model) is the one that seduced Baltar into getting into the defense system.

5. The President is dying – President Laura Roslin is dying of cancer. There is a Pithean prophecy that the new leader will be dying and will lead humanity to their new home. The relationship between Adama and Roslin has deepened over time. She has told Adama, finally, that she loves him.

6. There are Cylons within the Galactica crew - There were sleeper Cylons within the fleet that didn’t know they were Cylons. Sharon (call sign Boomer), a Galactica pilot, started to become unglued and realized she was a Cylon.

On Cylon-occupied Caprica, a Sharon Cylon was tasked to seduce Helo (another Galactica pilot who landed on Cylon-occupied Caprica to rescue survivors, but stayed behind) and hopefully mate with him and see if Cylons could get pregnant by humans. Helo, at the time, didn’t know the woman he thought was Sharon was actually a Cylon, and that the Sharon he knew was aboard Galactica losing her marbles. When the crew of Galactica finds out that Sharon is a Cylon, someone shoots her. She dies but is resurrected on a Cylon resurrection ship. The Cylon Sharon on Caprica becomes pregnant by Helo, decides she can’t kill him, and joins him aboard Galactica. Essentially, they switched places and lives. Hera, a Cylon-Human child, is born to Helo and the new Sharon, later dubbed the call sign “Athena.”

Over the course of 3 seasons, 7 of the 12 models were revealed to us. At the end of season 3, four of the final five were revealed to be among the fleet. They did not know they were Cylons. They are Anders (Starbuck’s husband), Col. Saul Tigh, Chief Tyrol, and Tory (the President’s assistant.) Hearing a song in their heads led them to a room at the same time where they realize what they are. They decide to hide the fact that they are Cylons. Tory kills Tyrol’s wife when she finds out their secret. Tigh had killed his own wife once he found out that she was colluding with the Cylons so he feels extra dumb to find out he is one.

7. Starbuck has a destiny – “All of this has happened before, and will happen again.” In the third season, Starbuck’s ship exploded and she died. She returned in a new Viper (fighter plane) claiming to have been to Earth. She was gone months to the crew, but only hours to her. She passes the blood test devised by Baltar that proves she is human and not a Cylon, but no one has a plausible explanation for why she blew up and returned.

8. A civil war has split the Cylons - A division has formed between the Cylons in season 3. The rebel Cylons (the 8s, 6s, and 2s) want to find out who the final five are in the hopes of discovering their true destiny. D’Anna (model #3) has seen the final five Cylons, but her model was boxed. The rebel Cylons want to unbox her to find the final five. They want to join forces with the humans in order to do this. The humans are motivated to agree because the final five Cylons have been to Earth and can lead the way. The rebel Cylons are willing to help the humans destroy the resurrection hub, so no more downloading – dead is dead – and while the humans are doing that, they will slip and grab D’Anna, who has been in a kinda cold storage.

9 – Enemies have become allies - The Cylon rebels are looking for meaning and are willing to be just like humans – mortal, to find it. There are members of the human fleet that think it’s a bad idea to trust the Cylons. Tigh confesses to his best friend, Adama, that he is a final five Cylon. Tyrol, Tigh, and Anders all begin hearing the same song again- the one that led them to learn they were Cylons – and this time it leads them to Starbuck’s Viper. They realize that the Viper holds the key to Earth’s location. The Viper’s radar has picked up a Colonial signal which is coming from Earth. The Cylons and humans decide to travel together to Earth by following the beacon.

10. They find Earth – When they arrive on Earth, they find it has been nuked. There is no life to be found. Devastated for thousands of years.

Who is the final Cylon? What happened to Earth? Where are the other Cylons and will they find them? You know they’re pissed off because their resurrection abilities have been destroyed. What happens to the fleet with their new Cylon alliance?

Season 4.5 Episode 11 – Sometimes a Great Notion

10pm – I’m so excited I can barely sit still. As is my habit, I want to celebrate good TV with a bad-for-me meal, but I’ve been dieting and I’m down five pounds. In fact, if I really wanted to celebrate I’d watch tonight’s premiere while on the elliptical, but it’s 1 hour and 4 minutes and that ain’t how I roll. Oooh, it’s on!

Previously on the awesomeness that is Battlestar Galactica: The Cylons have split; the Ones, Fours, and Fives are against the Sixes, Eights, and Twos. Well, Boomer (being a dirty little whore) is sleeping with one of the Ones (Brother Cavil) so she has sided with them. The 6s, 8s, and 2s have teamed up with the Colonial fleet to free Number 3, D’Anna, find the final five within the fleet, and find Earth. Dualla was Lee Adama’s rock even when he was fat and screwing Starbuck. The final four are revealed within the fleet and three of them help Starbuck figure out that her Viper can lead them to Earth. They arrive on Earth to find it decimated by a nuclear explosion. Dumb Earthlings.

Now…

Everyone’s kinda looking around at the nuked Earth like, “WTF?!” Col. Tigh looks out at the ocean with his one good eye. They’re all digging through the sands of the beach in disbelief. President Roslin finds a small plant. Helo reports there are no signs of life on radar… the Cylons concur. Starbuck and Leoben try to find the signal that led them there.

Why is no one concerned with radiation!? Stop touching stuff!

OK, Baltar confirms that the planet was nuked over 2,000 years ago and the radiation level is pretty low. Dualla finds a child’s set of jacks in the sand and loses her shit. It’s sad, but I still wish she would stop touching stuff. I truly believe Dualla is the final Cylon. Now, she’s on board a ship freaking out next to Helo. Poor Cylon Dualla.

10:05 – They have returned to Galactica to tell the rest of the fleet that Earth is to’ up from the flo’ up. President Roslin can’t bring herself to say the words. See, if that were Obama he’d have made an uplifting speech making them all forget that they’re pretty much fucked.

10:10 - Leoben (number 2) and Starbuck try to find the signal. They find a piece of colonial aircraft wreckage instead. Starbuck realizes it’s her ship that exploded when everyone thought she was dead. Oh snap! Dualla babysits Hera for Helo and Athena. Why? I don’t know.

The Cylons unearth the remains of a Centurion in the sand which suggests that they were there 2,000 years ago… but they’re not the same Centurion models that our Cylons are used to. They assume that the Centurions must have revolted against the 13th colony of humans that settled Earth, just as the Cylons did to the 12 colonies back on Kobol… but no! ALL the remains found are Cylon! There were no humans on Earth! The 13th colony was Cylons! Oh double snap!

President Roslin and Admiral Adama are all messed up. They don’t want to talk to anyone. She won’t talk to the Quarum (like our Congress) and Adama won’t talk to Col. Tigh. Who can blame them?

10:15pm – On the beach, Chief Tyrol has a flashback of being a skinjob Cylon on Earth. He was just walking down the street, minding his business, when the nuclear explosion occurred. There’s a scorch mark in his image on a wall. DAMN!

Lee Adama is all depressed thinking about all the pilots that died for the dream of a new beginning on Earth. Their sacrifice is meaningless he worries. Dualla tells him to man up and they make a date to have dinner that night.

10:20 – Starbuck and Leoben find her downed Viper. It’s blown to shit. Inside they find her dead body. WTF!!? She confesses that the Cylon hybrid told her she was the harbinger of death and would lead humanity to it’s end. Leoben runs off like a little bitch as Starbuck demands to know, “What am I!!?” You know shit is all kinds of wrong when you freak out a Cylon!

10:25- Anders finds a guitar neck in the sand and remembers playing the song that switched them on for a woman he loved. He tells Tyrol and Tory arrives to say she remembers Anders playing that song for all of them. They wonder how they could have died 2,000 years ago on Earth and end up as sleeper Cylons within the colonies.

President Roslin is burning the Pithean prophecies when Adama finds her aboard Galactica. She’s all down cause people trusted her and followed her to Earth for nothing. She has also stopped taking her cancer treatments. Adama tries to console her, but she ain’t having it.

10:30 – Starbuck burns her dead body on the beach. That’s not something you do everyday. Aboard Galactica, Lee and Dualla finish their date at the door to her quarters. They kiss. Ah, how nice. Wait till he finds out she’s the final Cylon.

Dualla’s all humming and happy as she puts her jewelry in her locker. Lt. Felix Gaeda tells her she’s all glowing. He leaves and she hums, hangs up her wedding ring and then shoots herself in the head. Let me say that one mo’ ‘gain.

Dualla shot herself in the frakkin’ head! What the frak!

Ok, my prediction now is that she’ll return later as the final Cylon. She must have had a memory of herself on Earth when she found the jacks… that’s why she freaked out. She knows killing herself means she resurrects. But no… the major resurrection hub was destroyed… but maybe final five don’t rez like the others. Oh, hell, I don’t know!

10:40 – Lee mourns over Dualla’s sheet-covered dead body. Adama finds him and they wonder what the hell Dualla was smoking. “I don’t frakkin know, ” says Adama. Alone with Dualla, Adama asks, “What did you do?” as he looks at her under the sheet.

Um, it’s pretty obvious what she did. She blew her pretty head off.

Adama storms through the halls of Galactica demanding a loaded sidearm from a nearby soldier. People are all fighting in the halls, garbage is strewn about, the words, “FRAK EARTH” are spray painted on the walls. I expect someone to start singing, “I’d move heaven and Earth to get outta Skid Roooow!”

Adama staggers into Tigh’s quarters drunk. “Sit down, Cylon!” They’re gonna have a heart-to-heart. Ohh, it’s on like Donkey Kong! Adama wonders if Tigh was programmed to be his friend. Adama starts shit-talking Tigh’s dead wife, Ellen. He says she was whore banging half the fleet cause she must have sensed that something was wrong with Tigh. Hmm, maybe. I just think she was that kinda whore. But, whatevs. Tigh threatens to shoot Adama in the head till he realizes that’s what Adama wants. He tells him to man up like Dualla, and do it himself. Atta Cylon!

10:52 – Lee changes the fleet count on the whiteboard to reflect Dualla’s death. Starbuck enters to tell him about the signal and finding her own dead body, but before she can, he tells her about Dualla. She figures finding out that one girl you used to screw is dead is enough for one night and keeps her news to herself.

Adama orders Gaeda to find the nearest star cluster. He’s blowing this dump called Earth. They call the Cylon base ship to see if their new allies want to ride shotgun. Adama gets on the horn and tells the fleet they’re leaving. He neglects to tell them that the 13th colony they idolized and followed to Earth were Cylons.

Back on Earth, Tigh tells everyone to get it together – they’re leaving in 15 minutes. D’Anna says she’s staying on Earth to die with her ancestors. It beats dying in the dark when Cavil (number 1) catches up with the traitorous Cylons. Tigh says he’s sticking with The Old Man (Adama) and he trusts him to find them a new home.

Tigh staggers out into the ocean … I guess to say goodbye? Who knows? Either way, he’s waist deep when he has a flashback to HIS time on Earth….

Chaos, people are screaming… someone is calling him, “Sol!” He finds his wife, Ellen, in some rubble. Nukes are going off in the distance.

“It’s okay,” she tells him, “It’s okay. Everything’s in place. We’ll be reborn. Again. Together.”

The nuke kills them.

It ends with Tigh in the water realizing that Ellen is the final Cylon!

Sonofabitch! I was wrong.

So, what don’t we know?

Where are the rest of the Cylons and how long before they catch up with the fleet and the rebel Cylons? Where the hell is Ellen? Tigh killed her on New Caprica when he found she was boffin’ Brother Cavil (number one) and giving the Cylons info in exchange for his release from a Cylon prison. Where would she resurrect? Where did the final five resurrect when they died 2,000 years ago? Did they design the other seven models? What up with Starbuck?! Why couldn’t she die? For real, I mean. I hate her. More, more, more.

What did you think?

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