Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5 Epi 13: The Oath

Previously on Battlestar Galactica: Adama considers upgrading all the fleet’s FTL drives with Cylon technology. The Quorum calls a vote to keep Cylons off the ships in the fleet without the ship’s permission. It passes. A few ships get all mutinous including the tilium ship which carries the fleet’s fuel. It jumps away. Adama blackmails Zarek into giving up the location of the tilium ship and Gimpy Gaeta joins forces with Zarek behind the Admiral’s back. Motherfraker.

And now…

Tigh reports to Adama that there is still grumbling among the fleet. Tigh’s one eye nearly bulges out of his Cylon head when President Roslin appears in Adama’s quarters in her bathrobe.

Gimpy Gaeta makes plans with Zarek to get him off Galactica.

President Roslin is still all,”I’m Switzerland and not getting involved in nothing.” I get it, you have cancer, and it sucks, but enough already. President Roslin has been declawed.

From a roar to a purr

At the hangar, Gimpy Gaeta’s mutinous comrades lie in order to get Zarek on a ship off of Galactica. Zarek kills a flight personnel that gets too fast and loose with the questions. One of Gaius’ followers sees it all go down.

And we have credits… and that annoying few seconds of everything we’re about to see in the episode. I usually ignore that, but tonight I’m all in it!

0704 Hours – On the CIC deck, Adama and Tigh have no idea that shit’s ’bout to go down. When Zarek’s ship shows up on draedus, Gimpy Traitor Gaeta figures out a way to cover by suggesting the system is glitchy. Tigh orders a full diagnostic on draedus and he puts some extra stank on the word, “draedus.” I don’t know why, but it’s funny as hell.

0741 Hours – Aboard Colonial One there’s an emergency session going on with the Quorum. Lee is surprised to see Zarek show up and he’s led to think that Zarek’s release is on the up and up.

Anders is tossing balls in the locker room when some girl shows up. I’m sure I’m supposed to know who she is, but I don’t. Her name is apparently Diana. She diverts Anders’ attention by whining about how he didn’t want to frak her once upon a time, and he’s jumped by two other traitors.

"It's not you, it's... okay, it's you."

0809 Hours- Back on the CIC deck, a fire alarm goes off at C-deck. Gimpy Gaeta manipulates the situation and gets Adama to order an evacuation of the deck.

0812 Hours- Starbuck gives Hot Dog a hard time for frakkin’ Callie and getting her knocked up. The fire alarm evacuation announcement comes over the system and Starbuck notices civilians getting armed. She knows something ain’t right. She tries to call Adama, but Gimpy Gaeta pulls a cock-block.

On Colonial One, Lee calls to find out why Zarek was released and again Gimpy Gaeta runs interference. Zarek tells Lee that he can’t reconcile his position as the Caprican representative on the Quorum and that of being the Admiral’s son. Meanwhile, Gimpy Gaeta manipulates the communication systems.

As Lee arrives aboard Galactica he is jumped by some rebels. They’re about to execute him when Starbuck shows up and fucks. shit. up. My only complaint? Why didn’t she just take ALL of their asses out before running off with Lee?

"Please. Follow me. I want you to."

Athena and Helo are taken by the rebels with one threatening to rape Athena later. See, his ass is gonna have to die. (Helo receives a Rodney King-style beatdown.)

0902 Hours- In a dry storage compartment, Starbuck and Lee can’t believe what is happening. She kisses him. Um, yeah. It seems the high drama is just what Starbuck needed to have her feeling more like herself. You know, horny and highly inappropriate.

0908 Hours- On the CIC, Tigh and the gang are starting to realize something ain’t right. There’s fire, but nothing is burning. No damage reports are coming in.

Helo is thrown in the brig with Six, Athena, Hera and Anders. Six suspects that they’re gonna die because the humans feel threatened by their reproductive skillz. Athena warns Anders that if he doesn’t have any special Final Five knowledge, he better act like he do. Sheeeit.

0913 Hours- Deck F, Corridor 6: Lee and Starbuck make their way to Adama’s quarters.

0922 Hours – Gaeta finally makes his move against Adama and Tigh. A young soldier is killed trying to protect Adama. Tigh looks like he wants to go all Cylon-white-boy-crazy, but Adama orders him to stand down.

Adama makes it clear that anyone that goes along with this bullshit will not be forgiven. Gimpy Gaeta at least has the decency to gulp. He then orders Adama and Tigh taken into custody. Adama orders the guards not to touch him and you know what? They don’t. He is still the man.

0925 Hours – Lee and Starbuck step over mad shell casings before they finally make it to Adama’s quarters where they find the President. She’s wearing a fierce wig. They fill her in and she says she has a way to get around the communications problems Gaeta caused.

0934 Hours – On the CIC, Gimpy Gaeta’s acting like a big boy wearing Daddy’s shoes when he’s not home.

Gaius tells his followers that he doesn’t want to leave them… but he will. ‘Cause that’s how Gaius rolls. Tyrol is in charge of the efforts to barricade themselves in and find a way off Galactica.

The President arrives at Gaius’ quarters where Tyrol tells her that the hangar is lost to them and that if they can get Adama to the secondary storage bay, he can get him off Galactica within the hour. Starbuck and Lee leave to find Adama and President Roslin stays to speak with Gaius.

0947 Hours- Two marines are escorting Adama and Tigh to the brig and Adama lets them both know that when it’s all over, their asses are grass. Adama and Tigh jump the two marines and take one hostage.

Two old ass pimps! That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!

President Roslin convinces Gaius to let her use his pirate wireless set up to communicate with the fleet.

1012 Hours – On the CIC, Gimpy Gaeta has to deal with the confusion from the other ships wondering why Galactica has gone all quiet. Gaeta fills in Zarek on a scrambled line, but President Roslin interrupts and addresses the fleet. She implores the fleet not to go along with the mutiny and trust in those that got them this far… you know, the Cylon-alliance, Earth was all frakked up, now we don’t know where we’re going, far. Gaeta figures out a way to cut off her communication.

1017 Hours- Near the AUX machine access, Starbuck and Lee run into Adama, Tigh, and their hostage. Starbuck wants to pop a cap in the captive’s ass, but Adama won’t let her. Adama lets him go, and Starbuck tries to pop a cap in his retreating ass anyway. Finally, I like Starbuck and how she rolls. Like a gangsta!

1021 Hours – In the secondary storage bay, Gaius and President Roslin wonder if Gimpy Gaeta grew a pair before or after his leg was cut off.

1023 Hours – Near the waste water storage, Lee blames the Cylons for all their woes. He needs to take a cue from Lost and get with the stand together or die alone creed and stop whining.

Why isn’t Tigh concerned about his baby mama?

1027 Hours- Gaius calls to reason with Gimp Gaeta, but he ain’t having it. Gaius threatens him with “their little secret sealed with a special pen.”

1023 Hours- At the secondary storage airlock, the rescue Raptor arrives just as Starbuck, Lee, Tigh, and Adama do. Gimpy Gaeta knows what’s up and sends some men there to stop them.

The President and Adama start smooching making everyone around uncomfortable. Time and a place, people. Time and a place.

Adama orders Lee, Starbuck, and Tyrol to go back the way they came while he and Tigh hold off Gimpy Gaeta’s men so that the President and Gaius can escape on the Raptor. Adama and Roslin start to kiss goodbye again, but Gaius is all, “Can we get the frak up outta here, please?”

As Gaeta’s men begin to blowtorch their way in, Gaeta orders a Viper to engage the Raptor and shoot it down, and Adama and Tigh prepare to go out like pimps and take some mofos with them!

HAWT!

Adama fires a few shots through the opening made by Gaeta’s men’s progress… just to let them know he ain’t frakkin’ around.

“It’s been an honor to serve with you, my friend.”

O.G.s

Tigh kneels and peers through his scope with his one good eye.

Gimpy Gaeta’s men toss in a smoke grenade.

And it’s on!

To be continued…

“Son of a bitch,” I say to no one in particular.

Damn, I love this show.

Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5 Epi 12: The Disquiet That Follows My Soul

Previously on BSG: Tori bitch-slaps Callie out the airlock. Tigh fraks Six and knocks her up. Prez. Roslin is all depressed ’cause Earth was a bust. Adama’s all, “Forget that noise, we outtie.”

And now…

Adama gets ready for his day Mr. Rogers-style… but it’s really boring.

Six and Tigh are with Doc Coddle and a nurse looking at their baby on an ultrasound. Proving that Cylon and human men have something in common, Tigh can’t tell what the hell he’s looking at… even if he did have two eyes.

Six starts going on and on about how her baby is the future of the Cylon nation, and the nurse gets a “ruh-roh” look on her face. Oblivious, Six continues on saying how they no longer need to worry about resurrecting, and they’re gonna live forever, and maybe one day they will be strong enough again to enslave the huma— oh, did I say that last part out loud? At this point, nurse lady looks like her eyes are gonna bulge outta her head. Shut up, Six! ‘Fore she goes all Rosemary’s Baby on you!

Gaeta’s all salty ’cause Doc Coddle is tending to the Cylons instead of his bloody stump. Interesting note: Gaeta says suicides are up and the Prez is M.I.A. Tyrol rushes in with baby Nicky who is pissing blood. Gaeta is behind yet another Cylon.

At a press conference, someone finally has the balls to ask why Tigh’s Cylon ass is still second-in-command of Galactica. Everyone wants to know if there’s gonna be a Cylon alliance. Adama ain’t saying anything. But, big mouf Lee let it slip when asked about the final Cylon, “We believe she’s dead.” Afterwards, he laments, “I can’t believe I let that slip.”

What? Do they know? Was Lee bullshittin’? Did Tigh tell them? They ain’t saying. At least not this week. Bastids.

V.P. Tom is not happy. Earth was a mess, Prez is missing, and he don’t want no damn Cylon alliance. Adama lobs a threat, Tom lobs one back, there’s another for good measure… and we have credits!

And then we have the annoying flashes giving away everything we’re about to see, so I turn my head.

Tigh, Tyrol, Helo (with his fine ass), Lee, and Gaeta are meeting with Adama. They’re discussing upgrading the fleet’s ships with Cylon technology FTL drives, but they know the Quarum ain’t gonna have it. Gaeta ain’t having it either especially because it would require dozens of sixes and eights aboard the fleet ships to get the job done. Gaeta wants to know what the catch is and Tyrol informs them that the Cylons want to be a part of the fleet, not just riding shotgun. They want to be citizens, a seat on the Quarum, and they want full protection in case Brother Cavil shows up. Gaeta almost amputates his other leg with his teeth he’s so incredulous.

It's hard being this self-righteous

The biggest revelation to come out of this scene is that I think Col. Tigh is kinda hawt! How come I’ve not noticed this before? He has an old, gruff, grizzly, one-eye, sexy thing going on.

Hot! Don't judge me.

Nicky has chronic renal failure which could lead to acute renal failure and he could lose a kidney. Tyrol finds out he’s not the baby daddy. Doc Coddle says he will tell the true father first, then Tyrol can bust a Cylon cap in his ass. I wonder who it is? Gaeta, maybe?

The Prez isn’t taking her meds, but she does yoga. She is not opposed to the Cylons joining the fleet.

Gaeta goads Starbuck in the mess hall, “You’re married to a Cylon.”

“At least I’m not a gimp.”

Ooooh, burn.

Gaeta is a real prick with one leg. He threatens to beat Starbuck’s ass one day and I nearly fall off the bed laughing. Starbuck could totally beat dat ass. She leaves, and Gaeta tells all the remaining soldiers they need to talk. I smell a revolt.

V.P. Tom is talking the Quarum up. Roslin and Adama are morons, he says. The Quarum agrees that no Cylon shall board a ship in the fleet without the permission of it’s people.

I say Galactica gets its own upgraded FTL drives and leave their ungrateful asses. But that’s just me.

Roslin is jogging through the halls like Rocky… in Rocky 6. She need to sit down somewhere. Adama gets a disturbing call and brushes his teeth. I don’t know why either. Adama tells Roslin they need her to get her shit together. She’s done., she says. She has played the role of the dying leader, taking the people to the blah blah blah. No, she really says blah, blah blah. She thinks she has earned the right to live before she dies.

Gaius is talking to the crazies, broadcasting his radio show. What did they do to deserve this fate? What kind of God would abandon them this way? The crazies scream with frothing mouths. Tyrol sees Nicky’s real baby daddy and gives him a Cylon beatdown.

Tigh is incensed that the ships are refusing their orders to let the Cylons aboard for upgrades. Gimp Gaeta gets all fresh-mouthed and back-talky. Helo looks like he wants to smack him, but an emergency call about the tilium ship crew’s mutiny spares Gimp Gaeta a fat lip.

The tilium ship will not communicate with Galactica, but they listen in as they talk to Colonial One and VP Tom tells them they have every right to protect themselves. They jump away with the fleet’s fuel supply… and then Adama delivers the best.line.ever.

“There are days when I really hate this job.”

If Galactica ain’t careful, they’ll be facing their own problems as Gaeta has a mutinous look in his gimpy little eyes.

Adama orders Athena to arrest the VP… and shoot his ass if necessary if he doesn’t come peacefully.

Tyrol orders Hot Dog (Nicky’s baby daddy) to sit his ass down with his son until he tells him otherwise.

"Maury, are we sure those results are accurate?"

Adama confronts VP Tom with evidence that he was involved in extortion. He will tell everyone if Tom doesn’t give up the location of the tilium ship. The whole exchange proves what a badass Adama is.

Gimpy Gaeta teams up with VP Tom to overthrow Galactica. Why isn’t Adama aware that this was coming? Oh, probably because….

Adama is laid up in the afterglow with Roslin when word comes in that the tilium ship was found. Neither care.

I predict that next week Adama is going to rip off Gaeta’s other leg and shove it up his traitorous ass.

What do you think?

Oh, I submit my BSG blogs to a website each week, and thought you guys might want to check the site out here.

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