24 Day 7: 4am – 6am

Previously on 24 4am – 5am: Olivia Taylor wants to have Jonas Hodges killed so she sets it in motion. Then she backs out at the last minute, but he’s killed anyway. Ruh roh. Jack and Agent Walker close in on the patsy that Tony is going to set up for the attack scheduled for later that morning. When they arrive at the apartment, the patsy’s brother stabs the man holding him hostage and Jack rushes to save his life as he’s the only one who can tell them where Tony was headed w/ the patsy. The patsy was convinced to cooperate when Tony threatened his younger brother’s life.

And now…

The following takes place between 5am  and 6am…

Tony’s evil sidekick chick checks in with a member of the “group.” She says that the bioweapon should be deployed within the hour and about 8-10K people will be infected in a D.C. train station.

Jibraan a.k.a the patsy they’re setting up to take the fall knows that they’re going to hurt people and blame it on him, but he doesn’t know what exactly. Tony orders him to take the train to a certain stop. They’ll be monitoring him.

At the FBI offices, Chloe punks Janis by pointing out she knows how to do all kinds of shit that Janis doesn’t including act.

The guy left watching Jibraan’s little brother is willing to talk once Jack tells him they’ll let his ass bleed to death if he doesn’t. He doesn’t know where Tony is or what the target is, but he can call Tony. They listen in as he comes up with some b.s. reason to talk to Tony, but Chloe can’t get a  fix on Tony’s location.

Jibraan tries to signal for help by talking to a token clerk in the train station. When she refers him to a nearby cop, he finds that the cop is in on it. He has no choice but to get his ass on the train.

Olivia meets with the guy that helped her set up the hit on Jonas Hodges. He said that the hit man called him when the money didn’t show and he told him it was okay to go ahead with the hit. He knew Olivia was good for the money. She waited too late to grow a soul he tells her. He also tells her she needs to pay that man his money.

Kim calls her husband and tells him her flight has been delayed. Her husband wonders if that’s a sign she should stay to be with Jack. She notices someone watching her as she’s about to go through airport security.

On the train, Jibraan is being watched by the evil woman in a disguise. She sets a timer on the bioweapon canister, kicks it under a seat, and then gets off the train. Jibraan watches her walk away. She calls in to Tony that the weapon will go off when the train is stopped a certain station.

Chloe has Tony’s location and calls in to Jack. Jack rams Tony’s van and then puts him a sleeper hold when he stumbles out.

I want to learn how to put mofos in a sleeper hold!!!

Jack beats Tony’s ass in an effort to get Tony talking. It doesn’t work. With Janis’ help they figure out a way to patch into Jibraan’s earpiece. Jack tells him that his bro is safe. He talks Jibraan through finding the weapon under the seat after the train is emptied. When he finds it, it has a little over one minute before it will go off. He tells Jibraan to run it outside. He tries to, but is stopped by a cop because some guy on the train snitched that Jibraan looked suspicious. Damn, a Muslim can’t even ride the damn train sweaty without raising alarms.

Jibraan screams that he has a bomb. WHAT? This plan, amazingly, works. He runs outside just as Jack arrives to take the bomb from him. He tosses it in a sealed compartment of a truck just as it explodes.

Jack is so P.I.M.P.

Kim is still suspicious of the guy watching her. Turns out, he’s watching her for Jack.

Evil chick calls in to her boss who says that Tony needs to be eliminated now that he’s in custody. She says it’s not necessary because Tony won’t be in custody for long. They have another play.

Kim asks the wife of a couple she’s been chatting with to watch her bag while she runs to the restroom and the husband goes for coffee. The husband kills the man watching Kim in the restroom.

Aaron Pierce threatens to stop working for Olivia because she is acting all sketchy and left the White House with secret service detail. She comes up with some b.s. story and he pretends to buy it. He later calls Kanan and asks if the C.O.S’s office still has the voice-activated recording software installed in it. He says it does, but that Aaron will need his thumb print to access it. When he suspects it may have something to do with putting Olivia’s ass in trouble, Kanan says he can be at the White House within the half hour.

In the office, Olivia finally sends the payment to the hit man.

Janis wants an apology from Chloe for assuming she didn’t know her job. Chloe is all, “Yeah, you got the wrong one. I don’t do that.”

Jibraan is reunited with his brother. Awwww.

The murdering hubby at the airport returns with the coffee and signals to his wife that he killed the guy watching Kim. While Kim reads a magazine oblivious, he moves his laptop so that it’s taking a video of Kim. The evil bitch then calls Jack and links the live feed to his phone. These people have some kickass phones.

She tells Jack that if he doesn’t help Tony escape, they’ll murder Kim. She makes him put on his earpiece and leave the line open so she can listen in. Jack gets in the van with Tony, Agent Walker and some other agents. The evil lady tells him that she’ll let him know when to make a move and if any of the agents get in the way, he’ll have to kill them or Kim dies.

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

Jack gonna beat dat ass!

The real threat is over and I can’t believe we’re gonna end this great season with a Kim-Bauer’s-in-trouble-again storyline. Ugh.

24 – Day 7: 2am-4am

Previously on 24: Jack learns there’s a possible treatment for his cooties, but it involves Kim. He doesn’t want her involved, but Agent Walker calls her anyway. Jack sends Kim away. Tony blows up the missiles Starkwood were going to use and Jonas Hodges is arrested. A Starkwood op gets away with a canister of the bioweapon. When Moss and Tony catch up to him, Tony kills Moss.

And now….

The following takes place between 2am and 3am…

Hodges’  attorney is preparing to leave for the White House when she’s attacked at her front door. While a man injects her with a needle, a woman that resembles her takes her I.D. Using a doohickey, they get thumb print and put it on the impostor’s thumb.

At the FBI offices Walker gives Janis the identify of the Starkwood op that got away. Galvez. Moss isn’t answering his phone.

Tony shoots himself in the side and then takes a call from Galvez. He tells Galvez to stay holed up where he is.

Kim says goodbye to Agent Walker. She’s going to honor her father’s wishes and leave. Walker gets a call from the scene and finds out that Moss is dead. She tells Janis someone needs to notify Moss’ ex-wife and it probably shouldn’t be her… see, ’cause they were bonin’.

Jack is being debriefed on earlier events. The guy doing the questioning wants to know if he verified Tony’s sources. Jack didn’t. Jack starts repeating himself cause his cooties are flaring up. Jack notices a bunch of activity in the hall and he finds out that Moss is dead. Walker is all business as she leaves to avenge her man’s death. Jack calls shotgun on the helicopter leaving for the scene.

Hodges’ fake attorney makes it into the White House.

Olivia informs the president of Moss’ death and Galvez’s escape. The president realizes that she may have to make a deal with Hodges if he’s behind the latest events.

Hodges’ fake attorney arrives at his cell. She tells him that he jeopardized the plan. He would have been protected if he had just slowed his roll! “The others” are concerned that they will be exposed. She threatens his family and offers him a red pill for him to take that will induce a heart attack. Starkwood can’t be brought down without his testimony and “the others” will be protected and not have to kill his family. He accepts the pill. Olivia comes to transfer Hodges for FBI questioning.

Fake lawyer calls in. She tells the man on the phone that Tony has been the only bright spot in a otherwise frakked up day. Damn you, Tony!! Galvez calls Tony and tells him that he’s holed up in an abandoned apartment building. He has 20 minutes to do whatever it is he has to do.

Jack has the nerve to try and counsel Walker on how to feel about Moss’ death. The man who doesn’t feel shit. She pretty much tells him to shut the hell up. They arrive at the scene. Walker wants to see Moss’ body. While Tony offers up his condolences to Walker, Jack is playing snoopy mcsnooperstein. They listen to Tony’s version of what happened, but something with the shell casings doesn’t add up. There must have been a second shooter.

Kim calls her husband… yes, her husband, and tells him what is happening with Jack. She admits that she didn’t tell Jack about his granddaughter, Teri (obviously named after Jack’s dead wife.) In the crib, is a little blonde baby that looks like a mini-Jack Bauer.

Out in the field, Jack has to give himself a shot of whatever the CDC doc gave him. Tony apologizes for what Jack is going through.

Galvez calls in as an FBI agent he has killed and leads the FBI to the abandoned building. Jack stays behind as does Tony.

Hodges is loaded into a transport van when he notices one of the soldiers shackling him fought alongside some of his Starkwood peeps. The soldier tells him that the Starkwood men were fine soldiers. That’s all Hodges needed to hear. En route, he pops the red pill. When his heart attack begins, the soldiers call it in and rush him to the hospital.

Galvez continues to communicate with the FBI like he’s one of them and instructs them to enter the building. He watches from another location as the building is wired to blow. The agent debriefing Jack earlier calls him and asks if he possibly got the name of Tony’s source wrong. Jack doesn’t think so, but disconnects after seeing a screen with the radio codes of the agents involved in the current operation.

Walker and the other agents sweep through the abandoned building. Jack realizes that the radio the agent used to call it in isn’t even in the building. He calls in to Walker that it’s a trap and to get out. Galvez sets off the explosives. Jack tells the agents to maintain the perimeter so Galvez doesn’t get away.

In the confusion, and dressed as FBI, Galvez rushes in the building with the other agents. Jack and Tony arrive and Tony rushes in. He meets up with Galvez and takes the canister. Galvez covers himself with a dead agent’s blood. All Jack cares about is Walker. She’s fine. She tells Jack it’s like Galvez knew their pattern and that the abandoned building would be checked last.

Tony helps Galvez, who is pretending to be hurt, out of the building. Jack calls the agent back who had called earlier and finds out that the source Tony said was dead, is actually alive. Jack sees Tony helping Galvez to an ambulance. He calls out for him. The ambulance leaves with Galvez and the canister. Jack tells Tony they need to talk and pulls a gun on him. He tells him that the guy Tony said died during his interrogation is alive. Tony comes up with some excuse and as Jack ain’t buying it, he starts to have a cooties flare-up. Nooo! Not now!

As Jack has a seizure on the ground, Tony witholds his medicine Tracy Quarermaine-style.

In the ambulance, Galvez kills the medic tending to him and pulls a gun on the driver.

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

3am – 4am

The following takes place between 3am and 4am…

As the CDC doc tends to Jack he tells Walker that Tony is the second shooter.  They put out an APB, but Tony kills two agents and escapes. Jack blames himself for vouching for Tony.

Tony meets up with Galvez at a motel room. Galvez confirms a money transfer via phone before giving Tony a bag with the canister. When Tony opens the bag, it’s the yellow pages. Oh, snap! He gave him a phone book, son!

Galvez pulls a gun on Tony and wants to know who the buyer is. Tony tosses the bag and knocks the gun back. They struggle and fight. Tony starts to smother Galvez with the shower curtain and wants to know where the canister is.

The president learns that Hodges will survive his suicide attempt. She also finds out that his real attorney is dead, and the imposter is the one that slipped Hodges the pill. Walker and Bauer call the president. They tell her that Galvez got away. Jack admits that Tony Almeida screwed them. She tells them about Hodges’ threat before being taken into custody and his suicide attempt. Jack says they need to question Hodges, but the president won’t sanction torture. Jack says they wont need to. He will talk if they offer to let everyone think he’s dead.

The fake lawyer shows up at Tony’s motel room. Galvez is dead. She wants to make the delivery and Tony doesn’t. He wants to use the one canister to finish the job and launch another attack. Kick your enemy when he’s down and all that. She says she’ll run it by the group.

At the white house, the president tells Olivia that they’re going to put Hodges in the witness protection program. Olivia is not happy. She reminds the president that Hodges killed her son. She continues to hit below the belt, but the president stands firm. She wants Olivia to contact the attorney general and have the protection agreement drafted.

Fake lawyer calls in to “the group” and explains that they’ll be launching another attack during rush hour traffic. They’ll blame the attack on a terrorist leaving his body at the scene. The guy isn’t even a terrorist – but they’ll make him look like one. Everyone on the call is voice protected. As the group ponders striking now vs. waiting six months, fake lawyer IMs a group member to weigh in on her side since Almeida came through for them. He does and then everyone votes. They agree to strike now. Tony kisses fake lawyer. Ewwww.

Jack arrives to question Hodges. Hodges is ranting that by saving him, they’ve killed his family. Jack tells him that they will let the group think he’s dead if he tells who they are. If he refuses they will leak to the press that he’s alive and then his family will be harmed. Hodges says the president doesn’t have the balls to do that and Jack is all, “Have you seen my balls? Those are the ones you need to be worried about.”

Hodges tells Jack that there are other groups with like-minded ideas – attack the country and prove that the government can’t protect them. He says he watched Jack’s senate hearing and was disgusted because Jack should be treated like a hero. So, he watched the hearings, but didn’t know who Jack was when he walked in the room. Hodges claimed he doesn’t know any names. Jack pretends to call a press contact and Hodges gives up that his only contact with the group is the woman that pretended to be his lawyer. The biometric monitors says that he’s being honest.

Jack tells the president that it is likely that they will launch another attack today. The president agrees to unseal the CTU servers so that Jack can do his thing. Jack calls Chloe and confirms that Bill is dead. *sniff* He tells her that he needs her help. She looks at her sleeping son and tells Jack to send the car for her. She tells Morris to get their son, Prescott, out of the city so she can go and save the world.

During the briefing, Jack confirms to the FBI agents that they only have two suspects (Tony and fake lawyer) and that the only lead they have is that the group will try to pass off the attack on an innocent. They need to track down the trail using CTU servers. Janis has some kind of hissy fit and Walker shuts her up.

Chloe arrives and Jack tells her that Tony betrayed them. She doesn’t want to believe it, but Jack tells her she needs to be with him and is prepared to take Tony down. Chloe is down for whatever.

Tony and fake lawyer stake-out their  patsy – an illegal whose student visa expired, is Muslim, and has reason to be angry with the U.S. He has one younger brother.

Inside, the patsy is preparing breakfast for his brother. He tells him to be careful – today isn’t a good day to be a Muslim in the U.S. His bro tells him to relax. Most people think he’s Puerto Rican. Muslim, Puerto Rican, whatever – he’s cute!

Another car arrives and the occupants, plus Tony and fake lawyer start towards patsy’s house.

Olivia is going over Hodges’ witness protection order and tells Aaron what it is when he comes to get the document for the A.G. Olivia whines and whines. Aaron offers condolences. When he asks if there’s anything else he can do for her, she says other than killing Hodges… no. And for like five whole seconds it looks like he considered it! Maybe I’m confusing his consideration face with his, “Bitch, is you crazy” face. She apologizes and Aaron leaves. Olivia makes a phone call to some guy named Martin. They agree to meet at the white house.

The white house is like Grand freaking Central Station.

Janis is all pouty. She doesn’t like the CTU servers. She doesn’t like that they can spy on people. She doesn’t like Chloe. She doesn’t like anything. Jack pretty much tells her to shut the frak up and leave if she can’t get with the program. She looks like she wants to cry. It’s the best part of the season so far. I have to rewind it and watch it three times.

The lights go out in the patsy’s apartment. Tony, fake lawyer, and the other goons grab his brother and put a gun to patsy’s head.

Poor patsy.

Tick… tock… tick… tock.

24 – Day 7: 1am-2am

Previously on 24: At the FBI, Jack contacts a Starkwood member, Knowles, and convinces him to help Tony locate the bio-weapons. Jack has a cooties attack. He refuses to let his daughter Kim be brought in to help heal him. Hodges kills Knowles. Hodges tells the President that he will bomb three cities if she doesn’t call off her attack on Starkwood, and he demands a sit down with her.

And now…

The following takes place between 1am and 2am:

Poor Tony is still on Starkwood’s compound. He talks to Jack who tells him that the president’s strike has been called off. They have an exit plan for him. Tony realizes that Starkwood has surface-to-surface missiles and that’s probably why the president called off the strike.

At the White House, the joint chiefs question the president’s decision to call off the air strike on Starkwood. Jack calls the president and totally calls her on her shit.

The president admits that Hodges has missiles aimed at U.S. cities. Jack tells her that she cannot negotiate with Hodges. He wants to give Tony time to place C4 charges and blow up the missiles. The president does one of those, “I’m not telling you to go in, but like, if you went in without my knowing, there’s not much I can do to you since you’re dying…” and then hangs up. “What’s that supposed to mean?,” Walker wants to know. “That means do what I do, beyotch.”

Walker calls Moss and he’s down for whatever. Finally. He’s spent all day being a pain in the ass. Jack calls Tony and tells him that he can go in, but he can’t get caught. Tony rushes two of the guys pumping the rocket fuel into the underground bunker after one leaves for another perimeter check. He leaves one guy knocked out by the tanker while he forces another one to let him into the bunker. So much for being undetected!

Hodges meets with the president in the Oval Office. He denies working with Juma. He wants in on shaping military policy. The balls on this guy! The president accuses him of blackmail. He’s unapologetic.

Tony plants the C4 charges and makes his way up top, but he’s jumped by some Starkwood goon. He drops the detonator into a grate. One guy sounds an alarm and the launch is prepped. Tony manages to blow the charges just as the missiles were going to launch. Moss and his men move in.

Goooo TONY!

The president is looking over Hodges’ demands. He wants all kinds of perks. The president receives word that Starkwood has been taken out, she orders Hodges  arrested. He swears that this doesn’t end with him. That this is just the beginning. Ruh-roh.

The president calls Jack and tells him that they arrested Hodges. She expresses gratitude for all he has done. He starts to ask for clemency for Tony, but has a cooties attack. Then he forgets what he was going to say. The president says she will consider all that Tony has done. The president wants the CDC to give her real-time updates on Jack’s condition.

Moss tells Walker that they are not getting resistance at Starkwood. Most of the men there didn’t know what was going on. Walker has to go because Kim Bauer has shown up. Tony overhears Moss talking about Kim and wonders if Jack will be okay. Moss says he doesn’t think Tony should be arrested since he helped, but there’s nothing he can do. He orders the cuffs taken off of Tony, but still has to take him into custody.

Walker tells Jack that Kim is there to help him. He goes white boy crazy on her. She tells him that Kim has been trying to see him all day, that she’s not just there because Walker called.

Jack meets with Kim. They have a come to Jesus meeting. She apologizes, he apologizes, but he still doesn’t want her to help him. It’s really sad. The least she can do is insist on saving him since he saved her from all of her stupid ways. Mountain lion, anyone?

The Starkwood agent that went to check the perimeter kills an FBI agent. Another FBI agent shows up and takes his gun and realizes he has a cannister of the bio-weapon. Before Moss can get help there, the Starkwood baddie kills the agent and leaves with his cannister… and the FBI’s car to add insult to injury.

Moss takes off in a copter with Tony to try and find the guy who got away. They find him, but have to chase him on foot and can’t wait for backup. Starkwood baddie kills the helicopter pilot. Moss takes a few shots to the vest and tries to warn Tony that the baddie is behind him. Tony doesn’t care ’cause he and the baddie are FRIENDS!! Tony apologizes and then kills Moss by smothering him.

What the frak?!

Tony was a good guy who got dead, who came back and went bad, but went good and now is bad again? Jack gonna get his ass dead again.

Tick tock tick tock…

24 – Day 7: Midnight – 1am

Previously on 24: The president appoints her crazy-ass daughter provisional Chief of Staff. Moss informs the president that they need to move on Starkwood (the anti-government, private military, white boy crazy group) because they have bio-weapons and were in on the atack on The White House. Tony refuses to break under Hodges’ interrogation. Hodges’ assistant turns on him and offers up the location of the bio-weapons. The FBI moves on Starkwood, but gets punked. Oh, and Jack still has incurable cooties.

And now…

The following takes place between 12am and 1am:

Tony and Moss realize they are surrounded by Starkwood crazies. Janis confirms via satellite they don’t have an out. Hodges shows up. He orders them to leave his property. Their search warrant was for a specific building and there were no weapons of mass destruction. Sound familiar? He tells Moss they have five minutes to get the hell up outta there… and he wants his assistant, Greg, released to boot.

Moss tells Walker they have five minutes to come up with a plan. Jack figures out there’s a man within Starkwood that may be able to help them, Mr Knowles. Jack calls him and asks for his help. Knowles says he might have an idea where the bio-weapons are. Jack will call him back.

Starkwood’s men move into place. Jack tells Moss they need to create a diversion so that Tony can stay behind, and the FBI should leave. Moss bitch-punches Greg and takes a hit to the face for his troubles. Meanwhile, Tony swipes a weapon and ducks back into the empty warehouse. Moss and his men leave.

Tony meets up with Knowles who says he has an idea of where the weapons are. Janis plots a course for them. At the FBI offices, Jack has a cootie flare-up. He doesn’t look good.

Jack calls the president and tells her they were punked. He says they can pull off an air strike once they confirm where the bio-weapons are. The president wants visual confirmation from Jack before they make a move. She privately asks how his cooties are doing. He tells her that he currently feels fine. She thanks him for his service and apologizes for the cooties.

Olivia’s journalist friend, Ken, calls and wants to know what’s going on. He’s been hearing whispers. She tries to blow him off, but he threatens to tell her mother and the world that she forced out the chief of staff to take his job. She agrees to meet him at his hotel room.

Knowles’ key card isn’t working when they get to where the weapons are. Janis logs in Chloe-style and begins to hack. Some Starkwood men show up before she can get all five digits of the code. Knowles creates a diversion and Tony gets in. Knowles has to leave with the Starkwood security though. Jack, at the FBI offices, collapses in a cooties attack.

When Hodges hears that Knowles was found wandering he orders him taken to his office. The bio-weapons will be ready in 30 mins.

Olivia arrives at Ken’s hotel. She wants Aaron to wait in the hall, but he wants to check the room first. She talks him out of it. Ken tells Olivia that his source told him a WMD was hijacked and he wants details. Olivia refuses saying it’s national security. He pushes and she blabs. Ken says he’ll kill the story if Olivia sleeps with him.

She tried to blow him off, and now she just has to blow him. She needs to start screaming rape and let Aaron bust a cap in that ass.

Jack gets treated by the CDC lady. He’s all, “Circle, circle, dot, dot, now I have a cootie shot.” She tells him that with a stem cell donor that’s a genetic match, he could take part of some experimental treatment. Jack won’t contact his daughter, Kim. And thank God for that ’cause she’s annoying as hell. Walker thinks that Kim should have the choice to help or not.

Where the hell are Chloe and Morris? Did they go home?

Anyway, Janis realizes that 8 hostiles are on their way to Tony’s location. Jack offers to regroup, but Tony wants to get it over with. Tony takes out two of them Splinter Cell-style! It’s kinda hot.

Tony steals a bullet proof vest, some weapons, and a key card. He gets in an elevator and encounters a scientist. They make small talk. Tony makes his way to where the weapons are and takes a picture. He sends them to Jack who confirms they are the bio-weapons. He tells Tony to get the hell up outta there.

Knowles wants to know what the hell is going on. Hodges goes on a white boy crazy-rant. He sounds like Dick Cheney. I kept this country safe, I won’t apologize, blah, blah, blah. Knowles tells him he can’t start a war with the federal government. Hodges beats him with a decanter and then tosses him over the balcony. He then cleans blood and brain schmutz off of his shirt. Greg calls and tells him that F18s are less than ten minutes from their location. The bio-weapons are ready. Hodges orders a call to the president.

Olivia has slept with Ken and he says he’s still gonna run the story. He says this is how the game is played, and Olivia is all, “No, bitch. This is how it’s played.” She gets her cell phone which has recorded their whole sex romp. She threatens to tell the world… and his wife.

The president calls and tells Olivia to get her ass back to the White House. The air strike is set to go down in five minutes.

Hodges confirms that the weapons are ready. Then he makes a face and looks just like Angelina Jolie.

The president and joint chiefs realize that Starkwood knows they’re coming. Hodges calls and the president takes his call in private. He tells her that if she doesn’t turn the planes around, he’ll launch missiles armed with the bio-weapon at three major cities on the east coast. He tells her she can’t tell anyone about their conversation and that he wants to meet with her in the oval office within the hour.

The president rushes to call off the strike. They manage to call it off just in time. Then the president walks out the room without an explanation. She can do that. She’s the president.

24 Day 7: 11pm-12am

Previously on 24: Senator Mayer is dead, and everyone thinks Jack did it. Ethan Kanin resigns as Chief of Staff. Jack gets Tony Almeida to help him obtain the biological weapons before Starkwood can get their hands on them. Jack leaves Tony to get captured, and ends up exposing himself to the bio-weapon before losing it again to Starkwood! Jack done messed up!

And now…

The following takes place between 11pm and 12am…

Jack has to get down to his skivvies in the middle of the road so the CDC can check him out for cooties. His body is covered in scars. It’s sad. Then he gets butt-ass nekkid and hosed down.

At the FBI offices, Moss fills in Janis. He says they won’t make a move against Starkwood without proof there’s a bio-weapon, and even then they have to tell the president and let her decide what to do. Oh, so now you want to listen to orders?

The bio-weapon arrives at Starkwood’s compound and so does Almeida. Hodges says that Almeida isn’t going to talk – he’s not the type. In other words, he’s not a punk-ass. Why do they want to talk to Tony? Why not just kill him?

Hodges is salty that the weapons will take two hours to deploy. He knows that getting them ready is the only thing that will keep the government from bum-rushing them.

Almeida is getting his ass kicked, but he still won’t talk. They want to know what the FBI knows. Tony says he doesn’t know anything. Hodges’ assistant, Greg, thinks they should destroy the evidence. Hodges tells him to man up.

The CDC finds that the trace amounts of the airborn pathogen shouldn’t be enough to do any harm. They’re going to transport Jack to the FBI offices where they’ll run the remainder of their tests.

At the White House, Olivia has a suggestion for the new Chief of Staff. The president agrees to meet with him. In the meantime, she wants Olivia to be COS. What? They went from not speakng to this in like five hours. Larry Moss calls the White House.

Moss tells the president that Jack is innocent and that Starkwood was involved in the earlier attacks. The president calls for the cabinet and joint chiefs.

Moss tells Agent Walker that Jack was right. She resists the urge to be like, “I told you so.” He tells her that Jack was exposed and he apologizes to her for not trusting her. Are these two doing the nasty?

Olivia stops Aaron from leaving the White House. She wants him to be her secret service man and she won’t take no for an answer. If that heifer gets Aaron killed, I’ma be mad.

The president tells the cabinet and joint chiefs what’s going on. They worry that going into Starkwood would be like starting a mini-war and they have to be careful not to set off the bio-weapons. In other words, they’re in deep shit.

Almeida still won’t talk. A henchman is about to kill Tony when Greg kills him. He wants Tony’s help. He ain’t tryna go to jail for the rest of his life because Hodges went White Boy Crazy.

On the way to the FBI offices, Jack gets his blood work results, but they don’t tell us what they mean! WTF!

Jack arrives at the FBI offices. He has cooties, but they’re not contagious. There is no cure for cooties. Agent Walker walks in on Jack getting dressed and sees his scars. She wants him. Badly. She tells him she needs to debrief him.

Greg leads Tony to his office where he takes a call from Hodges. Hodges wants Greg’s ass ready to roll before the FBI gets there, and he wants Tony dead if he doesn’t start singing. Greg begins to set up a secure line so that they can call the FBI.

Tony calls in and Moss says he needs to get the okay from the president before they can cut a deal for Greg. COME ON! We don’t have time for this shit! Hodges is getting the cooties weapons ready as we speak!

At the White House, the president watches video footage of what the bio-cooties-weapon can do. The president says she didn’t do enough to limit Starkwood’s power. Moss calls in and tells the president of the deal Greg wants to cut. She agrees. She electronically signs the pardon and the raid on Starwood is set to begin in ten minutes.

Greg not only tells them which warehouse the weapons are in, but he gives longitude and latitude too. Damn.

Jack wants to go and be in on the raid, but Moss says they can’t risk him having a cooties attack in the field. Then he pities him. You don’t pity Jack Bauer!

Greg leads Almeida to where the weapons are so he can do recon for the raid. 1,500 Starkwood soldiers on the scene and he only encounters one. Tony Almeida takes him out easily enough. Hodges is getting antsy. The weapons are taking too long to get ready and he knows the FBI are on their way.

Moss is two minutes out via helicopter. He gets intel from Tony. He then gets on the horn w/ Starkwood’s air tower and tells them they’re coming in under order of the president. They drop in Rainbow-Six style. This is too easy!

They blow the door to the warehouse where the weapons are being held. But they’re not there!

Greg lied. That rat bastard! He claims that Tony coerced him to saying he knew where the weapons were. The FBI is on the wrong side of the compound. Tony looks at Greg like he wants to beat dat ass.

Moss reports back to Agent Walker that the weapons aren’t there. Jack reasons that they couldn’t have moved them so quickly and that they must be on the compound somewhere.

Starkwood men advance on the FBI and tell them they searched the warehouse they came to search, and now they must leave. If they advance further, they will be fired upon.

Tick… tock… tick… tock.

24: Day 7 10pm-11pm

Previously on 24: Ethan Kanin is confronted with his role in Jack’s interrogation of Burnett. Agent Walker is detained after helping Jack get to Senator Mayer. Jonas Hodges doesn’t worry about loose ends for the moment. Jack convinces Senator Mayer that there’s another threat out there, but Mayer is killed before he can help Jack. Jack kills the man who killed Burnett and Mayer.

And now…

The following takes place between 10pm and 11pm:

Agent Moss calls Kanin and tells him that Senator Mayer is dead. Poor Kanin looks like he’s about to have a heart attack. Moss reminds Kanin that it’s all his fault. Seriously, Kanin may stroke out before midnight.

Jack fills Tony in on the Starkwood/Sangala/there are weapons on U.S. soil connection. Tony is down for whatever and they agree to meet.

President Taylor talks to First Hubby who’s still in the hospital. She tells him everything is okay and that Olivia is back home. I predict this is the last we’ll see of First Hubby. Kanin arrives and gives the president the bad news. He then offers to resign as the Chief of Staff. She offers to control the damage, but he has already made up his mind. This is really sad. And you knoooow Olivia is going to eat this up.

Well, that conversation lasted long enough for Jack and Tony to meet up at the storage place Jack found on the Quinn’s phone.

A security guard there is on the phone with his pregnant wife… pregnant with twins… (That means his death will be really tragic) when he hears a noise.  Jack grips him up.

Hodges speaks with his main henchman, Stokes. Quinn hasn’t checked in and Hodges ponders the possibility that Jack got to him and now knows the plan. He tells Stokes to wait five minutes and then go in. Hodges gives a pep talk to his Starkwood peeps. He doesn’t want them to cooperate with the government. Ignore the subpeonas. One board member, Doug, speaks up that he doesn’t think that’s the way to go. They talk privately and Doug doesn’t think Senator Mayer will let up. Hodges tells him Mayer won’t be a problem to nobody no’ mo’. Doug wonders if Hodges was involved in Mayer’s death… out loud. Stupid. Keep your suspicions to yourself before you end up dead too!

Jack and Tony have the guard tied up and try to get into the manifest info on the computer. Jack hits a security roadblock on the computer. He explains to the guard, Carl, that they’re trying to stop terrorists and Carl doesn’t need to be convinced. He agreed to help the terrorists; open the gate for them, turn off the cameras, make sure there weren’t any other police – he thought he was helping some electronics smugglers.

Jack can’t reach the FBI because communications are jammed. When Stokes calls Carl on his walkie-talkie, Jack instructs Carl to answer. Then he tells Carl to play along like everything is okay. They’ll follow the terrorists to the container with the weapons and once past the jamming frequency, they’ll call for help. Carl doesn’t know if he can do it and Jack ain’t tryna hear it. Too late to bitch out now, Carl. Jack gives him the whisper pep-talk that Jack does so well. Carl wants to be sure that all he has to do is open the gate and that Jack and Tony will have his back. He makes Jack pinky-promise.

Carl isn’t long for this world.

Carl starts yammering about how expensive getting pregnant was and his insurance being crappy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell your story walking… to the gate.

Carl goes to the gate reeking of, “Please, God! Don’t kill me.” He gives Stokes directions to the container, but he insists that Carl ride with them. Poor Carl. Never go to the second location!!!

Kanin packs up his stuff, and Olivia comes to gloat… but she covers it with sympathy. I don’t trust her! Go home, Kanin. You don’t want to be in that poorly secured White House no way. Olivia calls the reporter that approached Kanin and leaks the story that Jack is suspected of killing Senator Mayer.

Moss is, thankfully, smart enough to realize that if the Senator was killed in the foyer, there shouldn’t be additional slugs from where Quinn chased Jack.

Moss calls Agent Walker and she tells him about Quinn and Starkwood, but he won’t let her help.

OK, back to the shipping containers. Why are they playing this military-like, soaring music? Was that necessary? The bad guys get the container they need, but are waiting for a flatbed to move it. Um, why didn’t they have that ready?

Tony wants to leave, but Jack realizes that the bad guys are gonna kill Carl… and he pinky-promised. Tony is all, “You’re gonna turn a surveillance job into a fire-fight. It will be 2 against 10.”

“2 against 9,” Jack growls.

Awesome.

The bad guy is about to shoot Carl when Jack takes him out long-range using a silencer. Carl says thank you, bows a few times, and gets on the hot foot. The other bad guys are ready to go, but the shooter isn’t responding. ‘Cause he’s dead. When the bad guys realize what has happened, Tony and Jack open up a can of hurt. In all the chaos, the truck is loaded with the container and starts to leave. Jack goes after it while Tony covers him.

Jack jumps on top of the truck and bitch-punches the driver. Tony gets caught. And Jack leaves him! Aw, Jack say it ain’t so.

Jack calls Moss from the truck and tells him what’s going on. He needs a  CDC team to meet him with the truck full of bio-weapons. He also confesses that Tony made need some help too since he left his ass. The stuff in the back of the truck starts beeping!

He pulls over and discovers that the truck took some damage and one of the tanks inside is leaking. Run, Jack, run! Jack goes into the back of the truck and turns off a valve or something. I don’t know. I’m just tryna figure out why he’s moving so slow. You know they’re gonna catch up with him!

Sure enough, as he’s leaving the truck a helicopter shows up and starts shooting at him. Well, guys in the helicopter, not the helicopter. An SUV shows up and Jack really does run. From the side of the road he sees the bad guys unloading the weapons.

Stokes calls in to Hodges and tells him they have the weapons. They’ll be in place in ten minutes. They also have Tony gripped up in the backseat.

Jack calls into Moss. The CDC will come to him for proof there’s a bio-weapon so that the FBI has cause to raid the private Starkwood compound they believe the weapon is headed to. Jack admits that he was exposed.

Yup, Jack Bauer has cooties.

Tick… tock… tick… tock.

24 Day 7: 8pm-10pm

8pm – 9pm

Previously on 24: Juma and his men storm the White House. Juma uses the president’s daughter to draw her from the safe room. V.P. Hayworth will not authorize the F.B.I.’s plan to rush in without knowing the president is safe.

The following takes place between 8pm and 9pm…

VP Hayworth watches footage of what’s going on at the White House. He’s still acting like a punkass.

At the White House, Olivia apologizes to her Mom for being such a pain in the ass. She feels like a turd. She should. The president tells her it’s okay, and that she should just be ready to make a move if the opportunity allows. I smell a plan in place.

Jack whispers to Bill Buchanan that he’s gonna make a run for the safe room and set off some canisters he opened with one shot in the air. This will cause an explosion. He wants Bill to get the president out. Senator Mayer wants in on the plan, but Jack tells him to shut the hell up.

President Taylor tells Juma that he should let the hostages go now that he has her. He agrees to release one. He picks a guy from the bunch and shoots him in the head. See, he released him to Jesus.

If the president doesn’t read the statement he’s prepared for the cameras, he will release all the hostages to Jesus, starting with her daughter. With a Sangalan flag hanging in the background, she reads the statement.

The VP wants to shut down the broadcast, but it’s streaming live on the internet. He doesn’t care and still wants it shut down. *sigh* Will someone tell him you can’t turn off the internet?

Agent Moss calls the VP and tells him they want to initiate a rescue operation. They believe Juma will execute the president. The VP says no, again. Damnit, he wants to be president!!

Bill tells Jack that Juma has a contact giving him real time intel. Jack needs to find out who Juma is working with, Bill says. Bill then bumrushes the safe room and fires a shot into the air. The explosion kills some of Juma’s men and Bill.

Noooooo!

Agent Moss orders his men to rush in. Jack lights up the rest of Juma’s men while Aaron Pierce makes off with the president and her daughter. Jack saves Senator Mayer’s life. How much you want to bet he’s still ungrateful? Jack then corners Juma and orders him not to move. He does. Jack lights him up too. The FBI guys rush in to handle what Jack left them, which isn’t much. I think they shoot one guy.

As things get under control, Jack goes to Bill’s body. He’s dead with his eyes open. I hate that!

The president refuses to leave the White House. She wants to speak to the VP and she wants an update on her husband. Olivia tells the president that Aaron will be okay. Thankfully. If this show killed Aaron and Bill, I’d have to hurt somebody.

The president asks Olivia if she meant what she’d said earlier about the two of them starting over. Olivia says, of course. Olivia nods at Aaron as he’s taken away and then she looks really shifty when she’s alone. I don’t trust her.

Agent Walker tells Jack, who is still by Bill’s body, that the president is okay. Jack tells her that it was supposed to be him who set off the explosion. Jack tells Agent Moss what Bill said about Juma’s outside contact. Moss is skeptical and Jack resists the urge to pop him in the mouth, I can tell by his eyes. Jack wants to finish interrogating Ryan Burnett, Senator Mayer’s aide.

Moss says that he has to take Jack into custody, but he’ll look into it. When Jack is taken away, Walker sticks up for Jack and Moss doesn’t like it. Moss brushes her off, and she decides to go over his head and approaches Ethan Kanin.

Jonas Hodges (Jon Voight) receives word that the president is alive, but is happy that his weapons are on their way. He tells his assistant to prepare the targets.

Kanin tells Agent Moss that he’ll allow Bauer to question Burnett under his authority; not telling the president.

The president meets with Kanin and tells him she wants to bring Olivia on board, but Kanin disagrees. He says that her leaking personal, damaging, info on Taylor’sr opponent during the election almost cost Taylor the election. She insists that the offer come from him because she wants them to get along.

Agent Walker apologizes to Moss for going over his head. Moss tells Walker she’s suspended because he can’t trust her. Some presidential music plays as Moss and Bauer take off in a chopper to interrogate Burnett. Jack defends Walker in the chopper, but Moss don’t wanna hear that either.

Hodges prepares to attack one of his targets, but his assistant tells him that Bauer is on his way to interrogate Burnett. He took the liberty of sending someone named Quenten to take care of Burnett and Bauer.

Jack arrives at the hospital and is told it will take a few minutes for Burnett to be awakened from his sedation.

Quenten is Jerry from General Hospital! He’s posing as hospital staff and kills a man recovering from heart surgery. While everyone rushes to save the old man he killed, Quenten hacks into their computer system. Then he crawls through the vents.

Olivia thanks Aaron for taking a bullet for her.  She tries prying into what happened to Martha Logan, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. What happened to Martha?!

Kanin approaches Olivia about being a special adviser to the president. Olivia blames him for everything that has happened and vows to get to the bottom of it. She’s a beyotch.

Jack prepares to interrogate Burnett. Moss says if Jack lays a finger on Burnett it’s over. Jack wakes up Burnett. Burnett shits his bedsheets. He starts calling for a lawyer. He says he’ll sing. He’ll sing loud and clear as long as Jack doesn’t touch him.

From the vent above the room, Quenten jams the feed going to Agent Moss so it looks as if Jack is still talking to Moss when what really happens is Quenten dropping a gas into the room that knocks out both Jack and Burnett. He then drops in wearing a mask, kills Burnett, and leaves. By the time the feed comes back, Burnett is dead. They rush the room, but Jack, seeing what happened leaves through the vents too.

Between the secret water tunnels and vents, D.C. is a very dangerous place to be.

Jack calls Moss and proclaims his innocence. Moss says he should turn himself in then. Jack is like, “Slow yo roll.” He tells Moss not to be distracted by him and handle the threat. It’s not over.

Tick… tock… tick… tock.

9p.m. – 10p.m.

Previously on 24: Bill Buchanan dies a hero. *sniff* Jack kills Juma, but the threat isn’t over. Jack gets permission to interrogate Ryan Burnett. Olivia joins the president’s staff and sets her sites on discrediting Kanin. Hodges gets word that Jack will be talking to Burnett, and arranges to have Burnett killed and Jack framed for it.

And now…

The following takes place between 9pm and 10pm…

Chloe’s husband, Morris, arrives at the FBI offices, demanding to see Chloe. Janis tells him Chloe’s been arrested. He’s escorted to a room. Moss calls Janis and tells her what happened. He’s on his way in. Walker asks Janis what’s going on and she reluctantly tells her. At least I think it’s reluctance. Her acting is soooo bad!

Jack gets video of Quenten and sends it to Agent Walker. She runs some facial recognition software. Quenten calls in to Hodges that Jack got away.

Walker gets a hit on Quenten and calls Jack. He works for a defense consultant… basically a member of a private army, a company called Starkwood. She suggests that he speak to Senator Mayer. She also calls him Quinn. I’m too lazy to queue up last week’s episode to see if Hodge’s assistant did indeed call him Quinn and not Quenten. We’ll just call him Q.

Moss goes to Walker’s office just as she sends Jack information on Mayer’s location. When he leaves, he tells Janis to track everything Walker has been doing because he’s sure she’s been talking to Jack.

At the White House, Olivia questions the speech that the president is going to give. She thinks it should be more triumphant than consoling, and she convinces the president to change it. kanin comes in and owns up to letting Jack interrogate Burnett and the aftermath. He apologizes, but Olivia gloats. She’s a bitch like that.

Walker tries to leave, but Moss corners her and demands to know where Jack is. Walker refuses to tell. Moss can’t believe that Walker would risk everything to protect Jack. I can. Jack is da shit.

Senator Mayer arrives home to find Jack waiting in his office. He tells Mayer that he didn’t kill Burnett and that Q. did. Since Q. worked for Starkwood, he wants to know what connection Starkwood has to Juma. Mayer insists there isn’t one. Jack tells Mayer to open his files on Starkwood so he can see for himself.

The president addresses the nation on what happened earlier. A reporter approaches Kanin for confirmation on what happened with Jack and Ryan Burnett. Olivia opened her big mouth! Kanin approaches Olivia who claims she didn’t do it. Kanin tells her that by being a See You Next Tuesday, she’s hurt her mother’s administration more than hurting him.

Please, God, let Olivia die before the day is over. Please?

Janis tells Moss that Walker’s encryption to Bauer is above her pay grade. Moss tells Morris that if he doesn’t help decrypt the info and help find Bauer, they’ll throw Chloe in jail. He agrees granted that Chloe gets full immunity for her actions earlier. He tells them that Bauer went to Senator Mayer’s house.

Moss assumes that Jack went there for revenge. Chloe is angry with Morris for helping the FBI find Jack.

As Jack goes through the Starkwood files, Mayer asks him about his regrets. He says he regrets all the innocent lives lost during anything he’s done. He also regrets not gaggin’ Mayer, now shut up! Jack finds a connection between the man that murdered Burnett and the death of an informant on Starkwood’s activities bribing Pentagon officials. Jack finds a connection between Starkwood and Juma: biological weapons.

Police pound at Mayer’s door, and he convinces Jack that he will order them to help Jack. Jack agrees, but when Mayer opens the door, Q. kills him. Run, Jac, run!! The real police arrive, and of course they think Bauer killed Mayer.

Olivia swears she can prove the leak didn’t come from her, and that she bought them some time in keeping the story under wraps. Kanin apologizes to Olivia, half-heartedly.

Q. tracks Jack via a blood trail. Jack gets the upper hand and they have a macho fight on top of a trailer. Q. tries to fight all fancy with kicks, and Jack is all, “Eff that.” He tries choking him, Bauer-style. Jack throws a knife and stabs Q. in the chest, then smacks him with a 2 x 4. As he dies, Q. tells Jack the weapons are already here. Jack checks Q.’s cell phone and finds the port where the weapons were due to arrive.

Moss calls Janis and puts out an order to shoot on sight because he thinks Jack murdered Mayer.

Jack calls Tony and tells him to meet him with weapons. It’s on, bitches!

Tick.. tock… tick… tock…

Is it me, or was Tony just chilling at some outside cafe?

24 Day 7: 6pm-8pm

Previously on 24: Dubaku tells Ryan Burnett, Senator Mayer’s chief of staff, that if he’s caught or killed, the U.S. co-conspirators are screwed. Jack convinces Marika to lead them to Dubaku. Agent Walker promises Marika’s sister she will keep her safe, but Marika dies. Jack discovers a chip with the list Dubaku was hiding as leverage. Bill asks the president to pardon Jack for his help. Tony tells Jack (in an inexplicable whisper) that there will be another attack on U.S. soil soon. He gives up Ryan Burnett as being involved.

The following takes place between 6pm and 7pm…

An orderly is cleared to see Dubaku who is unconscious. A nurse gets a call that distracts her long enough for the orderly to inject Dubaku. He goes into arrest.

At the White House, the president watches coverage of the U.S. troops invading Sangala. She and her aides wonder where General Juma is. (Uh, look behind you.)

Meanwhile, behind the White House, General Juma talks to one of his men, Dubaku’s son. He wants to know where his Daddy at, and Juma tells him not to worry. The orderly calls Juma and tells him that Dubaku is dead.

Agent Walker arrives just as Dubaku is pronounced dead. The doctors tell her it was probably a pre-existing condition.

At the FBI offices, Agent Moss is debriefing his peeps when Jack calls Chloe. He wants her to delete Ryan Burnett’s name from the list so he can’t lawyer up and keep the info to himself. She does as she’s told, but pouts that Chloe pout. Janis comes in and what follows is a bunch of geek talk I don’t understand. In the end, Janis is intimidated.

Ryan wants desperately to get out of the White House before the shit hits the fan. Senator Mayer doesn’t want to hear about Jack’s good deeds. He wants Jack to pay. If he refuses to go along, the president reserves the right to invoke executive privilege which could mean a pardon for Jack.

Jack goes into the office that Bill is working out of in the White House and holds him at gun point. He wants to know where Ryan Burnett is. He tells him Ryan is a traitor. Bill says there has to be another way. Jack says there isn’t. He wants to go all rogue on Ryan’s ass. He grips Bill up into a sleeper hold. I really want to learn how to do that. For real. He grabs a taser (my favorite weapon ever!) and heads out.

Agent Walker calls Moss and tells him about Dubaku’s death. She says that something doesn’t seem right and she’s going to dig further. He accuses her of being influenced by Jack. She gets an attitude and says she’s going to look into Dubaku’s death. A security guard tells her that the orderly last seen going to Dubaku’s bed is a stranger to everyone that works there and they got surveillance footage of him leaving the hospital.

Janis goes to see Chloe again and after a bunch of geek-speak, it seems she realizes someone deleted a name from the list. When she leaves, Chloe calls Jack and tells him to get on with the get on because they’re on to her.

Senator Mayer tells Ryan they need to make it politically bad for the president to pardon Jack Bauer. They want to say she’s emotional because her husband has been shot. Yeah, the female president has to be labeled hysterical. Ryan talks to Juma and realizes he needs to get the hell out of dodge. Before he can, Jack jolts his ass. I love seeing people get tased!

Janis tells Moss what Chloe has been helping Jack and plays Chloe’s phone conversation with him. They call security on Chloe and scoop her ass up. Big mouth Janis looks quite pleased with herself. As Chloe is being carted off she gives Janis a look like, “Snitches get stitches, bitch.”

Senator Mayer meets with the president and says he doesn’t want Jack Bauer to get off the hook; he has tortured people and shouldn’t get away with it. The president isn’t tryna hear it. Agent Moss calls and interrupts their meeting. He snitches that Jack is most likely pushing bamboo shoots under Ryan’s nails as they speak.

Nope, he’s just uber-tasin’ his ass and it’s awesome. Ryan is a trooper though and pretends he doesn’t know what the hell Jack is talking about. He keeps juicing him. He threatens to zap him in the throat, possibly paralyzing him. The president calls just as Ryan is snitching on Juma’s plan. Before he can get anymore info out of him, the door is blown open and Jack is apprehended.

“You’re done, Bauer,” Senator Mayer sneers.

Jack tells them they need to find out what Ryan knows because Juma’s men are moving. Not like this, says the president. Jack is arrested and the president raises the threat level. She wants to talk to Ryan herself.

The president realizes they’ll have to offer Ryan a free pass as he’s the best source of information they have as to Juma’s next move. Ryan refuses to cooperate. They offer him a free pass and he still refuses. Seems those volts juiced up his balls.

Agent Walker’s lead on the orderly leads her to a warehouse where Juma is with his men.  She calls Moss with her location once she sees Juma’s men patrolling the building. Moss gathers a team and heads out. Agent Walker sees Juma talking to Dubaku’s son. He’s still lying about Dubaku’s whereabouts.  She calls Moss again, “I know this sounds crazy, I swear I just saw Juma. I think it was him.”

Juma and his men go upstairs via the elevator and Walker takes the stairs. They head towards a boat and she follows. Dumb de dumb dumb.

Bill talks to Tony who fills him in. Bill wishes they’d have brought him in sooner. Tony’s all, tough titty.

Moss tries to reach Agent Walker, but Janis informs him that either her cell was damaged or its battery died.

Turns out it’s just wet. She got aboard the boat. She peeks as they check out some maps on a table, then Juma and his men head out.  With scuba gear, they jump into the water while Agent Walker gets a look at the plans they left behind. She sees maps of the White House. Dubaku’s son catches her and she jumps overboard. He shoots into the water and misses. She swims for her life and he follows by boat.  She makes it to land as Juma and his men swim towards the White House. Dubaku’s boy is right behind her.

Juma and his men swim… are they under the White House? WTF? Um, so like, no one thought to secure the water leading to the White House?!

Tick…tock….tick… tock…

The following takes place between 7pm and 8pm:

Juma and his men drill their way out of the water and into some tunnels.

President Taylor’s daughter wants to leave to see her father, but Aaron tells her she can’t. Its best if she stays put.  Olivia pouts. Nathan (what is his job title?) comes in and tells her that there’s another terrorist attack on the horizon and she might want to start acting like a big girl so as not to add more stress to her Mama.

Moss calls the president from the warehouse Juma was operating out of. He tells her Juma is in town. How the hell did he get into the United States? It seems like it would be the equivalent of Bin Laden strolling through Crenshaw. Anyway…

Agent Walker flags down a trooper and tells him to call Moss. As he begins to, Dubaku’s son shoots him and Walker runs off. Dumbass. They could have gotten into the car and driven off in all that time.

Bill visits Jack in his holding cell. The White House has holding cells? He fills him in on what’s going on. Ryan is being transferred and has lawyered up. Jack is all about breaking rules to catch the bad guys and Bill isn’t. Jack is a bully.

Juma and his men begin using a blowtorch on a gate after emerging from the water. Juma calls a contact inside the White House who kills a co-worker before letting them in. Lord, they’re never gonna let black folk in the White House after watching this.

Juma and his men take out secret service agents like it ain’t no thang. It’s tougher to break into my house.

Dubaku’s son catches up with Agent Walker and she quickly drops a dollar worth of dimes in telling him that Juma had his father killed. He pauses, but eventually doesn’t believe her. She beats his ass with a shovel before he gets the upper hand and starts choking her. Agent Moss lights him up just in time.

Jack is being transferred when Bill gets a call from Moss that the target is the White House. They scramble to get the president to lockdown. Bill takes the president’s lo-jack and starts running around all willy nilly to throw off Juma and his men. They catch up with him and realize that they’ve lost the element of surprise. They decide to take Bill as a hostage.

There’s lots of shooting in the halls. The president and Jack make it to the lockdown and are able to seal themselves in just as Juma gets there. Aaron is going to try and find a way out of the building with Olivia, the president’s daughter.

The secret service are closing in on Juma outside the lockdown, but since they don’t know that the president has made it into the lockdown, Juma is able to lie to them and say he has her. The jackasses believe him and fall back in order to save the president’s life.

This secret service sucks! I hope Obama’s watching.

Aaron and Olivia are hiding. He tells her that they have to get word out that Juma is bluffing so the secret service will retake the building.

Juma has all the hostages gathered outside of the lockdown room. One of his men use a doohickey that will eventually get the code inside the lockdown room. Hell, the White House would have been better off with ADT.

Agent Walker realizes that Jack is inside and Moss is all, “Um, concentrate on the president, not Jack Bauer.”

The president and Jack are watching what’s going on outside the room via monitors. They realize Juma is willing to die. When they also realize that Juma has a man working on breaking the access code, Jack goes all MacGyver using a lamp, a sock, and some bubble gum to stop him.

When Juma realizes, he calls John Voight. I don’t know who John Voight is, but apparently he’s evil and a traitor. Juma threatens to destroy some shipment if J.V. doesn’t help him get access into the lockdown room.

J.V. asks who is with the president and he tells him only one man. J.V. consults a computer and tells Juma that the president’s daughter is still somewhere in the White House. Juma looks over the hostages and realizes Olivia isn’t there. He orders his men to go find her.

Amongst the hostages Senator Mayer asks Bill if he thinks this is all his fault. If he had signed off Jack torturing Ryan, they’d have known the White House was the target earlier. Bill is too polite to say, “True dat.”

Outside, a secret service agent presents Moss with a thermal scan of the building. They can’t see individual hostages, but a cluster. He says it would be better, but the White House is one of the most heavily guarded buildings in the world….

… and it was just breached by 12 Africans!

Moss gets on a videoconference with the V.P. He tells him that by the location of the hostages, they believe the president made it into the lockdown. He wants to go in. The V.P. says without proof he can’t sign off on that.

The V.P.’s aide is all, “Good call, sir. You don’t want to sign off on anything that would result in her death and your promotion. Wouldn’t look good politically.”

The V.P. is all, “Um, don’t say stuff like that out loud.”

Aaron and Olivia encounter one of Juma’s men and Aaron is shot before taking him out. He tells Olivia to go into the next office and find a first aid kit that has a flashlight in it. He writes down a “code green” morse code on her hand and tells her to use the flashlight to signal that it’s okay to move in.

Her dumb ass goes to do it, but doesn’t close the door behind her or anything so she gets gripped up before she can send the message. Now, I’m sure Aaron wouldn’t have told she was in the office. She should have gone in, closed the door, and maybe had a little more time to send the signal.

Juma realizes that the president can see what’s going on in the hall. He sits her daughter down in front of the camera and threatens to cut out Olivia’s eyes if she doesn’t open the door.

Again, because she’s a female president she demands that Jack open the door. Jack is all, “Damnit! Madame President, will you calm the f*ck down and let me do my job?!” She pulls rank though and he eventually opens the door.

Senator Mayer is suck a prick. “Bauer, what have you done?!”

Juma slaps the president and tells her she no longer gives the orders. He tells him men to get the camera ready for her statement.

“What statement?,” she asks.

“The last statement you’ll ever give.”

Tick… tock… tick… tock….

24 Day 7: 5pm-6pm

Previously on 24: The First Hubby is shot during the rescue attempt. The President reaches out to her estranged daughter. Colonel Dubaku lets his American cohorts know that if he’s captured or killed, their names will be exposed. Jack convinces Marika to go to Dubaku so they can apprehend him. The leak in the FBI, Sean a.k.a. Squirrelly Guy, arranges for Jack and Agent Walker’s arrest to buy Dubaku some time. Dubaku is tipped off that Marika is working with Jack.

The following takes place between 5pm and 6pm:

Sean is at his desk looking both Squirrelly and proud of himself. His mistress confronts him about the warrant he put out on Jack and Agent Walker. He tells her to calm the hell down. Seems he’s not the only mole.  He tells her to sit her ass down somewhere and act normal.

Jack and Agent Walker are cuffed and put into the back of a police car.

Marika arrives at Dubaku and he confronts her. He smashes her cell phone and insists that the FBI is lying on him. He says he has brought peace to Sangala. He forgives her and wants her to still go with him. She agrees. I want to slap her, but I’m distracted by how fabulous her hair looks.
She deserves whatever happens to her dumb ass after this.

Note: Sophie thinks Marika looks like the turtle you are challenged to draw in those ads in the back of magazines.

The misunderstanding with the police is all cleared up and Jack and Agent Walker are allowed to go. They find out their cell phone trace on Marika went dead and Chloe uses traffic cameras to find out which way Dubaku is headed. Dubaku’s inside contact isn’t happy to hear that Marika is going with Dubaku. Dubaku is all, “I can handle my bitches, thank you very much.”

Jack and Agent Walker catch up to Dubaku and a car chase ensues. I hate car chases so I tune it out. Jack crashes and Dubaku is getting away. Jack tells Agent Walker to try and maintain a visual on Dubaku’s car until they can get a new ride.

Marika comes to her senses, kinda, and causes the car to crash by attacking the driver. Jack and Agent Walker take off on foot towards the accident. The driver gets out and goes for his gun. Jack and Agent Walker light.his.ass.up. Jack grabs Dubaku as Agent Walker tries to pull Marika free. Jack warns that the car is on fire and she needs to stop. She pulls a gun on Jack saying she gave her word nothing would happen to Marika and he can either help or back off. Not wanting a cap in his ass, Jack helps. They pull Marika free just before the car blows up. Dubaku, who is lying right next to the damn thing, doesn’t catch fire. Lame.

At the hospital, the President is informed that they have liberated 10,000 civilians in Sangala, but she ain’t tryna hear it. She’s worried about her husband and upset that she didn’t listen to him when he tried to tell her that their son didn’t kill himself. Bill informs her that Jack has apprehended Dubaku and that he is hurt. If he dies, the names of the conspirators may die with him. Bill wants her to return to the White House, but she wants to stay. She is finally convinced to return. She wonders how she can run the government when she doesn’t know who to trust.

At the scene Dubaku is stabilized and the paramedics want to take him to the hospital. Jack convinces them to give him a shot of adrenaline so he can question Dubaku. He does this by being all growly and scary. Jack threatens Dubaku’s family and Dubaku tells him there’s a list of names, but then he codes. The paramedics bring him back, but note there is some kind of metal disc in Dubaku’s chest.

Jack has Dubaku cut open and pulls it out. PIMP.

He calls Moss and informs him of the disc. Squirrelly Guy (Sean) is listening to the whole conversation.  Jack gets a cop in a helicopter to transport the bloody disc to Moss. He takes it with no questions and seemingly no concern for the blood on his hands. Ewww.

Squirrelly Sean corners his mistress in the bathroom and tells her about the disc. She starts freaking out and yelling at him for getting her into this mess and not leaving his wife. Bitch, focus! He tells her that as soon as Chloe downloads the info, they will crash the entire system. That’s crazy talk, she says. But agrees after he rubs on her face and smooth talks her. Ugh. He’s not even cute.

At the hospital, Agent Walker is all messed up over what happened to Marika and takes it out on Jack.

When Chloe sees the disc she realizes that it has an auto-erase function; they only get one download.

Sean and his mistress prepare to wipe the system. He speaks with Dubaku’s contact and warns that he needs to take care of Dubaku because he’s taking care of the disc.  Once the erase begins, Sean kills his mistress and then shoots himself in the arm. When Moss and Chloe arrive, Sean blames everything on the mistress. Chloe informs Moss that all of Dubaku’s files were destroyed.

Moss believes Sean’s squirrelly ass and fills him in on what’s going on. Chloe calls Moss and tells him that she was able to recover Dubaku’s files after all and they’re decrypted. He instructs her to cross reference it with government officials. When he hangs up, he tells Sean the files were accessed and Sean shits his pants. He pretends to be happy. Moss tells him he’ll need to go see a psychiatrist because he shot a fellow agent and that has to be traumatic. Not nearly as traumatic as getting arrested.

Sean heads for the exit, but Moss is on his ass. He demands answers, but Sean asks for an attorney.

Rosa arrives at the hospital and goes off on Agent Walker for letting Marika die. Jack tells Agent Walker that arrests are being made based on Dubaku’s list. It’s over. Agent Walker says it’s not over for Rosa. Jack insists that Marika had a choice and she chose to help. Agent Walker starts slapping Jack asking if he feels anything. He lets her get in two good slaps before gripping her ass up. She cries in his arms. He tells her she’ll learn to live with it and she says she doesn’t want to.

He turns to leave and but tells her, “That little stunt you pulled by the car… if you ever pull your weapon on me again, you better intend to use it.”

“I did.”

Jack nods. Respect.

OK. This is getting tied up a little too neatly and too quickly. The day ain’t even half over. Where’s the other shoe, and when will it drop?

At the White House, the President informs her daughter that she cannot go to the hospital to be with First Hubby. Daughter throws a temper tantrum. Bill tells the President that Dubaku’s list was recovered. Bill wants the President to speak to the Senator heading up the hearings against Jack. Her ungrateful ass says she has to think about it.

Jack is chilling outside the White House when Tony shows up. He whispers that there will be another attack on the U.S. by Dubaku’s boss. The chief-of-staff of the senator heading up Jack’s hearing is involved. Jack warns Tony that if he’s lying… Tony asks Jack to meet him on a street corner if he’s down for whatever. He never once asked why Tony was whispering.

The senator’s chief-of-staff turns out to be none other than Dubaku’s contact, Ryan! The senator gets a call that the President wants to meet with him regarding Bauer and he wants Ryan there. Ryan gets a message on his phone, “Units in place. Operation on schedule.”

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

24 Day 7: 3-4pm and 4-5pm

Last week’s recap is included here because I was sick. To see last night’s recap, scroll down to the second blue header.

24 Day 7: 3pm-4pm

Previously on 24: Dubaku is surprised and outraged to find that Almeida, Bill, and Jack have found his evil lair. Jack find the C.I.P. device. P.M. Matobo insists that they meet with the President. She’s the only person he trusts. First Hubby kills Evil Secret Service dude before he can kill him, and ESS’s back up arrives and receives instructions from Dubaku to bring the First Hubby to him.

The following takes place between 3pm and 4pm.

Evil Secret Service Dude 2 (ESS2) arrives at Dubaku’s other evil lair with the First Hubby.

The President addresses the nation and pretty much says, “Look, bitches… I got this.”

Dubaku is walking through the streets like he’s a regular Joe. He arrives at his new evil lair where his henchmen are waiting with the First Hubby. Dubaku wants to know if he thinks the Pres. loves him enough to call off the strike against his country? I guess we ’bout to find out.

As the address ends, the Pres. is informed that Matobo has arrived with his rescuers. She’s surprised to hear that Bauer is one of the heroes. When they meet, she assures Matobo she is still down for the cause and that the U.S. will help his people. He leaves and the Pres. demands answers from Jack, Agent Walker, and Bill. She doesn’t believe Jack when he says that there are leaks in her administration until he’s like, “Um, why do you think it was so hard for you to catch Dubaku’s ass?” She’s all, “True dat.”

Jack tells the Pres. that they need to work under the radar in order to get Dubaku as he is the only one with knowledge of who the leaks are.

Then showing balls bigger than those chasing Indiana Jones down a cavern, Dubaku calls the Pres. He tells her right away that he has her husband. Dubaku wants the U.S. forces removed from Sangala and he wants Matobo delivered to his men to boot. He wants all this done by 4pm. To prove he means business he orders his men to cut off First Hubby’s finger while she listens.

The Pres. is informed of the scene at her dead son’s fiance’s apartment. Realizing that she can’t ask the American people to make sacrifices she won’t make herself, she refuses to give in.

Jack offers to do what he does best. Fuck shit up. The Pres. wants to know how she can know where Jack’s loyalties really lie.

“With all due respect, Madame President, ask around.”

Yeah, he was all, “Bitch, you better ask somebody!”

Realizing she has no other option and nothing to lose, she agrees to let Jack and Agent Walker (who everyone thinks is dead) try and rescue her husband. They are given their own office in The White House to operate out of. Agent Walker convinces Jack that they’ll need Agent Moss’ help. So she calls him.

“I’m alive, but you can’t let anyone know that.”

What’s the first thing this fool does? Goes into a hallway, presumably for privacy, and as someone turns the corner says all loud, “Renee!” Jackass.

She fills him in on what’s going on with the First Hubby. She suggests they start by tracing the movements of the ESS dude that tried to kill First Hubby. He wants proof she’s not being forced to do this, so he makes her agree to a meet.

Squirrely guy is whispering with his mistress and giving her attitude. Janis warns that he’s way too obvious with it and needs to watch himself. Jack and Agent Walker meet Agent Moss so he can see she’s really alive. Moss informs them that ESS dude was talking a lot to ESS dude 2 and that he used to work in Sangala. Jack wants to know if ESS2 has a family. He does; a wife and an 11-month old son. Jack is like, “We need to make him think we’re gonna hurt his family.”

Moss and Walker balk, but eventually Walker comes around. Moss tells Jack he will not allow Walker to end up like Jack. Like Jack? You mean a badass? Well, sucks for her.

“Rules are what make us better.”

“Not today,” Jack growls.

Cheesy, but it is Jack Bauer and I wouldn’t say that to his face.

Dubaku gets a call from his sweet waitress girlfriend, Marika. She wants to know if they’re still on for dinner and he cancels.  He’s got fingers to cut off, lady!

Marika’s sister, Rosa,  tries to tell her she has no idea who Dubaku is and that she shouldn’t trust him, but she ain’t tryna hear it. Did I miss something? Do these people not have access to Google?

Moss helps Jack get a line on ESS2. They need to get to him before he starts his shift on a military base. Agent Walker arrives at ESS2’s house.  She flashes her gun and tells the wife to shut up and she might live. And I swear that baby looks like he might be a little slow.

If they torture a mildly retarded baby, I’m turning the channel.

ESS2’s baby is screaming his head off. And that’s a lot of screaming. Walker makes the wife cuff herself to the coffee table. And damnit, she looks like she’s enjoying this!

Jack purposely crashes into ESS2’s car then sucker punches him in the face. Jack drags him to an apartment building’s lobby and asks where the First Hubby is. He ain’t talking so Jack calls his wife and lets him hear Agent Walker terrorize his baby.  She doesn’t really, or does she? They won’t show it! He agrees to talk, so Jack hangs up and Agent Walker gives the wife the baby.

“I was just playing.”

After ESS2 gives up the location, he pulls a knife on Jack and they fight. Jack kills him. He then carjacks a nice ride and speeds off.

Bill puts in motion the plan to have a double arrive at the drop and trick Dubaku.  Jack tells Agent Walker that ESS2 is dead and she nearly falls apart looking at his big-head baby. Jack tells her if she can’t handle the heat, perhaps she should do something else. She says she might just do that… but not today.

What’s up with that? That’s twice in one hour. Day 7 is the new Vegas! What happens on Day 7 stays on Day 7!

Squirrely guy is all suspicious because the threat level is lowered yet, as far as they know, the CIP device hasn’t been recovered. Moss tells Squirrely guy to settle down, and that he’ll handle it. Walker calls Moss with the address they believe the First Hubby is being held.

Dubaku gets a call from Rosa and she says she knows he’s not in the country legally. If he doesn’t break up with Marika tonight, he’ll be sorry.
Why is she lobbing threats from a wheelchair! Dummy!

Dubaku grabs a gun and tells his henchmen he has to “go take care of something.”

Dubaku’s men are not fooled by the trick and shoot a rocket at the car holding Matobo’s double. Well, so much for that plan.

Agent Walker and Jack arrive at the evil lair which is in the back of a store. They take out the henchmen just after Dubaku calls and orders they kill the First Hubby. One of them gets off a shot before he dies and it hits the First Hubby in the chest. Jack screams for an ambulance and that’s all I saw because my TiVo shut off.

24 started two minutes late because of the President’s speech. Damn you, Obama!

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

24 Day 7 4pm – 5pm

Previously on 24: Dubaku has The First Hubby who realizes that Dubaku was behind his son’s death. Dubaku tells the Pres. he will kill her hubby if she doesn’t meet his demands. Dubaku’s girlfriend, Marika, has a disapproving sister, Rosa, who threatens to expose Dubaku as a fraud if he doesn’t break up with her sis. Jack and Agent Walker arrive to rescue the First Hubby, but he gets shot in the process.

The following takes place between 4pm and 5pm…

An ambulance arrives to help the First Hubby. They are told they cannot tell anyone who the victim is. Agent Walker searches the hideout for a lead on where Dubaku went. Jack calls the President and informs her of what happened to her husband.

The President wants to go to the hospital to be with her husband. Bill wants her to allow Chloe reinstated and he wants to head up the investigation to find the leaks. He will also serve as her security because the secret service cannot be trusted.

Dubaku arrives at Marika’s job and says they need to talk. He tells her he needs to leave the country right away and he wants her to go too. She is reluctant and he kind of loses his shit for a moment. Her dumb ass agrees to go after he promises that he will eventually send for her sister. She skips off to pack like a goof troop.

Dubaku calls a contact to make sure his exit arrangements are in order. The contact says that General Juma won’t be happy to hear that he has failed his mission and Dubaku is all, “To hell with him!” They make arrangements to meet in 15 minutes.

Walker calls into Moss and he reams her out for terrorizing ESS2’s wife and child. He feels like she’s in too deep. Jack overhears her talking to Moss and tells her they may have a lead on Dubaku.  She shares the address with Moss and they head off.

Marika arrives home and begins to pack. Chloe leaves her hubby and baby to go work in the FBI offices.  She’s not in the office two minutes before she says something inappropriate. Moss tries implying that all the people that have died around Jack were killed because of him. Chloe tells him to worry less about Jack and more about the mole in his office. Oh, snap! No she di-un!

Dubaku meets with his new contact in a hotel lobby. He warns that if anything happens to him or Marika a file with all the dirty secrets will be sent to the Justice Department. Who are all these corrupt white men??

Marika’s sister, Rosa, doesn’t want Marika to leave the country with Dubaku. She doesn’t trust him. Marika accuses Rosa of wanting to deny her happiness and says she is leaving no matter what Rosa says.

Agent Walker and Jack bust in the apartment and demand to know where Dubaku is. They say don’t know any Dubaku. When Jack shows Marika a picture, she lies and says she doesn’t know him. Rosa, on the other hand, drops about a dollar worth of dimes. Jack realizes that Marika has no idea what a monster she’s involved with.

“Do you have any idea what this man is?”

“He’s everything to me.”

Wrong answer.

The Pres. arrives at the hospital to see her husband. He has to have about five hours of surgery and his chances aren’t good.  She’s able to tell him that he was right about their son not killing himself before he goes into surgery. She asks Bill to contact her estranged daughter.

Jack and Agent Walker tell Marika all about Dubaku’s true resume. They want her to talk to him when he calls so that they can trace him. She’s all freaking out and saying that she can’t do it. Heifer, get on the phone! She eventually does and pretends that she’s upset because she fought with her sister. He tells her a car will be coming for her.

Jack asks that she go when the car arrives and tells her that they’ll be following a mile behind. Rosa doesn’t want her to go, but Marika says it’s the right thing to do. Jack calls into Moss who puts him on with Chloe. She says she’ll set up the trace on Marika’s phone, but it will take longer than usual because Moss’ system is ass backwards. Couth-less Chloe strikes again! Janis, meanwhile, is trying to peek at what Chloe is doing, but keeps getting denied.

Aaron is back! Kick-ass secret service Aaron is sent to get the Pres.’ daughter, but she refuses to go with him when he arrives at the hotel lobby where she’s meeting with a client. He tells her about her father being shot and they leave. She’s annoying already.

Janis blackmails Squirrely guy into helping her get a look at what Chloe is doing.

“You’re a little bitch, you know that?”

“You’re a little bitch,” she counters.

You’re both little bitches.

Marika is going along in the car Dubaku sent and Jack and Agent Walker follow behind. Chloe’s trace is interrupted when Janis, who was spying, has to sever the connection so as not to get made.  Moss, Chloe, and Jack know someone was mirroring Chloe’s actions.

Local police fall in on Jack and Agent Moss and arrest them. Moss gets on the phone to try and stop it when Chloe discovers a warrant was issued for them by Moss’ office. Janis opens her big mouth and tells Squirrely guy that Chloe is working with Jack to trace a car on its way to Dubaku. As soon as she takes her dumbass to her desk, Squirrely guy makes a call. He calls Dubaku’s contact that he met with earlier.  He, in turn, calls Dubaku and tells him that his girlfriend has been turned. Dubaku says he’ll take care of her.

Tick… tock… tick… tock.

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