IMPERIUM by Nicholas Olivo

Throughout the month I’ll be participating in a blog hop with fellow writers. In the spirit of Halloween, all of the books are horror/supernatural-themed. You can go here for a chance to win copies of the featured books. Hopefully, you’ll find titles you’d like for yourself or as gifts.

 

Continuing the Halloween thrills and chills…

IMPERIUM by Nicholas Olivo

The Devil’s Weekend by Jim Bronyaur

Throughout the month I’ll be participating in a blog hop with fellow writers. In the spirit of Halloween, all of the books are horror/supernatural-themed. You can go here for a chance to win copies of the featured books. Hopefully, you’ll find titles you’d like for yourself or as gifts.

The Devil’s Weekend by Jim Bronyaur

Meet Oliver Ignis.

A man desperate for his mother’s love with the constant urge to kill.

After years of killing, he’s been given the name The Anything Killer. But now the police, led by detective Ralph Samuels, are closing in.

After a fresh body is discovered and the town swells with fear, The Devil comes to make Oliver a deal: in exchange for his soul, Oliver will have the weekend to kill without having to hide. It he’s shot, bullets pass through with no wound. If he’s stabbed, the blade comes out clean. And if he’s cuffed, they slide right off.

It’s a serial killers dream.

It’s our nightmare.

When Ralph Samuels apprehends a teenager who claims to have shot Oliver multiple times, he begins to wonder what’s happening to the small town of Damon, Pennsylvania.

It was everything Oliver ever wanted, but what happens when Oliver kills the wrong person?

With The Devil in the background and the police surrounding him, Oliver makes his last stand and gives The Devil everything he wants, and more.

This is The Devil’s Weekend.

Halloween Q&A With Jim Bronyaur

Q. What’s your favorite scary movie?

A. The first movie to ever keep me up but yet inspire me to write horror… Pet Sematary
Q. How does your book fit into Halloween?

A. It’s a horror/thriller that involves a serial killer making a deal with The Devil
Q. Who’d win in a fight, a werewolf or a vampire?

A. I so want to say werewolf because of its size, but come on, vampires have time… and death on their side.

 

You can visit Jim’s site here.  And follow him on Twitter. The Devil’s Weekend is available in paperback and on Kindle, for the Nook, and at Smashwords.

 

 

Doctor Who – S6E8 – “Let’s Kill Hitler”

When we last saw The Doctor he’d just rescued Amy Pond and her newborn daughter, Melody Pond, from Colonel Manton (a.k.a Colonel Runaway), Madame Kovarian (Eyepatch Lady) and a bunch of headless monks.. or so he thought. Eyepatch Lady made off with the real Melody Pond, leaving Amy with a flesh avatar. River Song shows up after all the action is done and it’s revealed that she is Melody Pond. The Doctor rushes off claiming he knows where to find baby Melody.

And now…

Amy and Rory are back home in Leadworth, making crop circles that spell out Doctor in order to get The Doctor’s attention. It does and he meets them in the cornfield. It’s been all summer, he’s not answering his phone, and they want to know where their baby is. (So much for knowing where to find her.)

Amy and Rory were followed by their super hot best mate, Mels (a black girl who’ve never seen before now). She comes roaring into the cornfield in a stolen car. She knows all about The Doctor from the stories Amy told her when they were kids. They don’t have time to chit chat much as the cops are hot on her heels. She pulls a gun on The Doctor and suggests that since she needs to get away, he has a time machine, and she has a gun, they should go kill Hitler.

Next there’s a montage of Amy, Mels, and Rory growing up: Mels is always in trouble, Rory is constantly ignored by them both until Mels opens Amy’s eyes to the fact that Rory is in love with her.

Back on the TARDIS, shit just got real. Mels has shot the console testing The Doctor’s lie that a gun wouldn’t work on the TARDIS as they were in a state of temporal grace. They’re crashing.

Berlin 1938: A robot that looks human is being operated from the inside by a bunch of miniature people. They navigate the robot to take on the identity of one of Hitler’s followers, shrinking him, and bringing him aboard the robot where he is promptly terminated by robotic antibodies.

The robot goes into Hitler’s office and is about to inflict some “justice” when one of the robot’s operators realizes they’re in the wrong time. They shouldn’t be in 1938. I’m not sure how they didn’t realize this before, with all that technology, but okay.

The TARDIS crashes into the office and knocks out the robot. Everyone piles out of the TARDIS and The Doctor warns that they shouldn’t go back in because the smoke inside is deadly.

Rory notices the knocked out man (robot) and while they check on him, The Doctor starts to apologize to… Hitler. Hitler is all, “Who are you? And what is this box in my office?” The Doctor can’t resist being a dick, because, well, it’s Hitler. He tells him it’s a police box from London and the British are coming. The robot rises and Hitler freaks out, shooting at it.

Rory punches Hitler in the face (yes!) and The Doctor instructs Rory to lock Hitler in the cupboard. The people inside the robot decide to go into surveillance mode and they make the robot faint so that they can observe and regroup.

NOW everyone remembers the lifelong best friend that we’ve never met before. Amy realizes Mels has been shot.

The mini people in the robot scan the TARDIS and one realizes that they’ve got “the biggest war criminal ever right under their noses.”

Mels is dying and she tells The Doctor how, after hearing all the stories from Amy when she was little, she thought she’d marry him. He tells her if she doesn’t die, he’ll marry her. He’ll call her parents and get their permission. She says, “You might as well do it now since they’re both right here.”

Mels starts to regenerate, the first time since she was a toddler in New York City. She tells Rory and Amy that it took her years to find them, but she’s happy she did. It all worked out in the end. They got to raise her after all.

She then regenerates into River Song.

The robot people remark that they are in the presence of Melody Pond, the woman who kills The Doctor.

River is all excited about her new hair and boobs and… other stuff. She doesn’t know who River Song is though. She does know, however, that she was trained to killed The Doctor and she tries to do so in a hilarious, flirtatious scene.

Unable to shoot or stab him, she kisses The Doctor and prepares to jump out the window.  Before she does, she reveals the kiss was a poison one. Her work there is done. And she jumps.

The Doctor, in pain and stumbling, gives Amy his sonic screwdriver and heads for the TARDIS. He tells Amy and Rory to go after River. On the ground, River takes out a few Nazi soldiers with her regeneration juices.

Aboard the TARDIS, The Doctor activates the voice interface which takes on the appearance of Rose, Martha, and then Donna Noble. It finally settles on young Amelia Pond and informs him he has been contaminated by the poison of the Judas tree. He will be dead in 32 minutes. When he asks for something for the pain, the voice interface breaks protocol and tells him, “Fish fingers and custard.”

Fuck yeah!

The robot has taken on the likeness of Amy, and shrinks Amy and Rory inside of it. They’re about to be terminated by the antibodies when one of the robot operators shows up and gives them clearance by activating some doohickeys on their wrists. He explains that the robot is a justice department vehicle and since they’re not guilty of anything, they’re fine.

Robot Amy finds River in a restaurant she has just cleared out by shooting up the place. She’s trying on the clothes of the people she made strip before they ran. Robot Amy accuses her of killing The Doctor under the orders of The Silence. River admits she doesn’t remember much, but she doesn’t deny killing The Doctor.

Speaking of which, The Doctor shows up, pimped out in a tux and coattails, leaning against the TARDIS. The Doctor scans the Robot Amy with his “sonic cane” and realizes there are over 400 people inside. He asks Amy to signal him with the sonic screwdriver if she’s inside. She does.

Robot Amy starts to attack River with her laser eyes, but The Doctor orders them to stop. They explain that they use time travel to “give hell” to bad people throughout history. They don’t kill them, just extract them near the end of their established timeline and punish them. Because Amy is a “relative” she is able to give authorization for them to reveal The Doctor’s file. According to their records, Melody Pond kills The Doctor under the orders of The Silence, a religious movement which believes that silence will fall when the oldest question is asked. What that question is, they don’t know.

Lovely.

Robot Amy gives River hell once a scan of The Doctor shows that he is not long for this world. Meanwhile, inside Robot Amy, Amy uses the sonic screwdriver to take away everyone’s authorization. The antibodies show up and start killing people. This causes Robot Amy to stop torturing River. The Doctor tells River not to run, even though she’s scared. The remaining crew of the Robot call to the mother ship and asked to be beamed up immediately. When the antibodies realize there are only two life forms left – Amy and Rory – they set off to rectify that.

The Doctor, dying, crawls toward the TARDIS as River asks him who River is.

Just as the antibodies are about to kill Amy and Rory, the TARDIS appears around them. They assume The Doctor has saved them, but it’s River. River says that The Doctor told her she is the child of the TARDIS and that the TARDIS taught her how to fly it.

*This goes back to River saying that she learned to fly it from the best and “too bad The Doctor was busy that day.”

She takes them back to where The Doctor lies dying. He wants to talk to River alone. He whispers something to her before dying, a message for River Song. River asks Amy and Rory about River Song. Since Robot Amy is still there and Amy still has clearance, plus the wrist thingamajig, she asks it to access the file on River Song and show her to them. The Robot transforms into River, who sees herself.

River uses her regeneration energy to bring The Doctor back to life, kissing him with a, “Hello, Sweetie.”

River wakes up in a hospital bed with Rory and Amy at her side. She used her remaining regenerations to save The Doctor. River says that The Doctor said no one could save him, but he must have known she could. From his place by the window, The Doctor says, “Rule number one: The Doctor lies.”

*I love how that line came back.

They leave River at the hospital with those catlady nurse nuns from season 2 (and 3). The Doctor says that River will be amazing before leaving the TARDIS journal on her bedside table.

On The TARDIS, Rory asks who River is in prison for killing in the future. The Doctor won’t answer. He does say that River will come looking for them.

At The Luna University in 5123, River begins her archaeological studies telling the professor she is “looking for a good man.”

The End.

Notes and Questions

• They seem to confirm that the astronaut is River. If the mini Justice League robot people are right (and they seemed damn certain), The Doctor always dies in Utah in 2011 and Melody Pond kills The Doctor. That’s what she’s known for.
• Amy and Rory – Amy especially – seems a little too “okay” with never really seeing her daughter again. “Oh, so, I missed her whole life? No problem. Where we going next, Doctor?” I thought the whole point of him going to look for the baby was to bring her home to Amy. Then again, I guess there was never really an established maternal bond other than that month she was alone with Melody at Demon’s Run. But as Mom, I can say that’s enough.
• The picture of Amy and baby Melody that Amy finds in the children’s home in 1969, when the hell was that taken? Did Amy ever tell The Doctor/Rory about that? If so, they never showed it….
• … in fact, the only indication we’ve had that The Doctor even pieced together that the little girl from the spacesuit is Melody Pond is when he figures out that Madame Kovarian tricked him at the end of A Good Man Goes to War. As she speaks, he has a flashback of River saying how strong the little girl must have been to tear herself out of the spacesuit.
• I guess it’s safe to say that her brainwashing didn’t include Melody learning too much about the TARDIS or what being a Time Lord means.
• When he whispers to her before he dies, was that when he told her his real name?
• Note that Amy and Rory were told that when they left the robot, their memories would be wiped.
• Now that we know The Silence isn’t a species, anyone could be a part of it.
• We now know why River didn’t regenerate in S4.
• I don’t like the neat little tie-up of what happened to the baby, but I know there are still questions to be answered so I’m content to wait for them to revisit this in the next five episodes.

There’s more, but I’ll wait to dissect with my fellow Whovians. I will say this: I bet The Doctor implements a “no fucking on The TARDIS” rule after this.

 

Scream 4 – Movie Review

You know I liked a movie if it inspired me to do something I haven’t done in years: write a movie review.

I loved the first Scream. I saw it 7 times in the theaters in about 5 different states. It came out in 1996 when I was 21 and filled with wanderlust. Whenever I hit a new state and found friends that hadn’t yet seen it, I’d insist we go.

What made Scream so great was that it was the first scary movie to poke fun at everything we loved to hate about horror films, and in the process it managed to be pretty damn scary without excessive gore and peppered with smart, biting, dialogue. No one called the ending. No one. If they said they did, they’re lying.

Scream 2 and Scream 3 were not as good, but each had their fair share of enjoyable moments and neither left me feeling like I’d wasted my money to go see them. In fact, I was so looking forward to Scream 2, I had dreams about it almost every night leading up to the premiere and had to sit on my hands to keep from reading the leaked script that had found its way to the internet. The parody, Scary Movie, was inevitable and it is pretty much responsible for the slew of spoof flicks that followed.

Even though S2 and S3 failed to completely recapture everything that made Scream so great, I was happy that they’d always included the triad original players and worked off the history of the first – even when it was ridiculously far-fetched. Long-lost brother? Seriously, S3? I hate when movie franchises become unrecognizable, completely filling each new installment with fresh faces who bring no emotional ties to the original.

Scream 4 could have been a mess. It should have been a mess. But it wasn’t. It came along at just the right time. Like the first Scream, it managed to be fresh by spoofing… itself! And not only that, but the numerous spoofs that followed. The opening – which any Scream fan knows usually contains some of the best stuff – was wonderfully meta, cast with familiar faces who, we just knew, were going to get it. It also played off the current online/Twitter/Facebook social media craze and incorporated it brilliantly.

Oh yeah, and it was scary. Ghostface could have been anyone, anywhere, at any time. There were plenty of suspicious characters, red herrings, and “no, don’t do that!” moments. I love that the character of Sydney continued to evolve and how can you not root for Dewey and Gale?

I found Hayden Panettiere’s (Heroes) Kirby to be the most likable character in the movie – and that surprised me because I was certain we were set up not to.

And I didn’t guess the identity of the killer. In fact, I was so sure it was one person I fell for a bit of sloppy writing that I’m now sure was done on purpose, just to feed the suspicions of people who felt the way I did. I don’t know if I can forgive that, Kevin Williamson. But I can, and will, forgive some of the cheesy one-liners; they’re par for the course. The shrieks, jumps, and chills down my arm every time the phone rang made it all worth it.

- Nina

P.S. Courtney Cox-Arquette and David Arquette? I really hope those crazy kids work it out.

P.P.S. I own the box set DVDs of 1, 2, and 3, but I will have to upgrade to the four box set in BluRay.

P.P.P.S. (Minor spoiler): I’m so happy I got to see two of the most annoying TV characters get killed, finally: Julie Taylor from Friday Night Lights and Sookie Stackhouse.

Dread of Night – Book Review

When fellow indie author Joshua D. Boeringa reached out and asked if I would review one of his books, I immediately said yes. I was in the process of preparing my own novel for publication and I knew how much the support of fellow authors is needed and appreciated. He told me that one of his books was a collection of short horror stories for middle-grade readers. I chose it because I thought it would be a quick read while navigating my own murky indie publishing waters, but mainly I chose it because I love to be scared and I think scaring our kids from time to time is a good thing. Maybe it’s the writer in me, but I feel that a good scare works wonders for your imagination and creativity. What is writing fiction if not a series of what ifs? Why not spark our teens’ imaginations with a little what if there really is something under the bed or what if that little old lady is not what she seems?

I settled in to read Dread of Night: Vol. 1 on the one night that a) I was sleeping alone and b) there was a terrible thunderstorm assaulting the windows and cutting out the power. I thought, “It’s for teens so how scary can it be?”

The answer? Very.

Dread of Night is comprised of 13 short stories and is a very quick read – not just because of the number of tales, but because you won’t be able to put it down. I told myself I’d read one or two and then go to sleep, but instead I read more than half. (And then found myself peering into the dark shadows of the master bathroom from my bed, making sure no one was standing there.) Each title perfectly captures what is so great about the short story: they’re snapshots of a few moments in time in a bigger story. They should provide you with enough history so that you feel as if you have a sense of who the players are and leave you wanting more – or at the very least, leave you thinking about what you just read Snow-Blind, about a young motorist who finds herself stranded in a snowstorm, will have you wondering about what happened on that isolated road long after the last word.

Adults may find some of the stories predictable – especially if horror is their thing, but this book isn’t for us. I think it provides the perfect introduction to horror novels for your teen reader if you’re not ready for them to dive into the worlds of Koontz or King. There’s a bit of gore (Teddy – a little boy does the wrong thing and lets in a stranger when he’s home alone), but nothing too heavy. Boering does an excellent job of leaving some bits to your imagination. And even to a seasoned horror fan like myself, a few stories like The Yard Sale offered up a nice surprise ending.

I enjoyed how Boering displayed a different writing style throughout the book. Some stories like The Fishwife may call to mind Stephen King as Boering expertly places us in the minds of young kids who go looking for trouble and find it. There are some that are straight out of Creepshow like It Reminds Me of You (a young man is followed by a mysterious woman) or Their Father’s Grave (a trio of siblings are plagued by their father’s madness even after he has died). One – the book’s opener, Crunched For Time – will even make you laugh as the end scene is like something straight out of a Choose Your Own Adventure book should you make all the wrong decisions.

My favorite was a piece titled Turning the Soil - a widow becomes attached to her quiet young boarder. I love the way it was written and went beyond a scare and caused me to think about unhealthy attachments, mourning and loneliness. Robert Forest’s black-and-white illustrations provide the right amount of fright with their tone and shadows. One image in particular – the man in Teddy – almost had me toss the book across the room and call it a night!

You can head over to Boeringa’s site and hear audio recordings of some of the shorts included in Dread of Night. You can purchase it for your Kindle here.

Lost S6 – Epi. 16 “The End”

I just want to start off by saying that I get it. I get it. I got it. I wasn’t always getting it. In fact, at least 45 minutes before the end I kept saying to Donny, “I don’t get it! Where are they going?! I get everything else, but where are they going?” Then, Jack asked one question and was met with a question in return, and I got it.

I know there are people that will complain they didn’t answer any questions in the finale. Well, they answered damn near all of the questions in the episodes leading up to the finale. I told Donny last week, “I think we pretty much got all the answers we’re gonna get.” Last night’s episode was really only going to answer one: how does it all end?

I think those that didn’t have the ability or desire to watch all the previous episodes will feel like there were too many loose threads. Not only have I seen every episode when they originally aired, I watched the majority of them again immediately after that to write about them and sometimes just because they were awesome. Then, we’d watch previous seasons before a new season began. Finally, we spent the last few weeks watching seasons 1-5. I would advise those that are still confused to do that. Because, honestly, I can’t imagine what people are still confused about.

ALL OF THAT SAID, I’m now gonna give my interpretation of what happened last night then I’ll do the recap (highlighting key areas that support why I think the way I do.) I read interviews with the stars and creators where they stated the ending would be open to interpretation in areas and I prepared myself to be disappointed. I was not.

When Juliet detonated Jughead it didn’t blow up the island, but instead time traveled the candidates back to the present where they were needed. I would even argue that maybe the bomb didn’t even detonate. Jin told Hurley (who had never experienced time travel on the island) that they had time traveled because of the light, noise, and headache. Maybe Jacob or the island itself intervened to bring the candidates where they belonged: in the present day where the island’s current protector was recently murdered. And if it did actually detonate, maybe it didn’t react the same way because of the island’s properties. I am leaning towards it never really detonating.

And I don’t think we can call the other “reality” the sideways world anymore. Clearly, that’s not what it was. It’s what we assumed it was. Just like in the season 3 finale we assumed the off-island clips we were shown were flashbacks, and they turned out to be flash forwards. But for the sake of this blog, I will continue to refer to it that way to avoid (further) confusion.

What happened, happened. They were transported back to present day, John Locke’s body was taken over by the Man in Black. Due to Jacob’s death, he was no longer able to take on different forms other than John Locke and the black smoke. He needed to kill the candidates in order to leave. No protector for the island meant no one to stop him from leaving it – his goal for centuries.

Meanwhile we were seeing this sort of purgatory that the plane crash survivors had fashioned for themselves based on the fact that their time together on that island profoundly changed their lives. As Christian Shepherd said, it was the most important time of any of their lives. They made a place where they could continue to live the lives they should have – had the island never existed past 1977.

Think about it, for Ben it was a world in which what happened to him on the island (being shot by Sayid, healed at the temple) was so traumatic, it caused his father to finally be a real father to him. They left the island in the evacuation and he grew up to be the man we saw. For Locke, it was a world in which Helen didn’t die of a brain aneurysm and agreed to marry him. I’m happy that even in his “purgatory world” his no good father still got what he deserved – he was a drooling vegetable. Jack was a father and able to do what he and his own father was able to achieve in life – heal and repair the relationship with his son. Hurley still won the lottery, but instead of it bringing him nothing but bad luck, it brought him joy.

There were still, for obvious reasons, ties to the lives they had truly lived. Think about when you dream. We create our dreams, but they are still limited to what we know. Like, if you don’t know quantum physics, but dream that you are a quantum physicist, you’re not busting out equations in your dreams because in your life you don’t know any! They also peppered this world with people they had encountered in their lives. George, the limo driver, was the man that died on the freighter because he didn’t have a constant. Desmond inserted him in his purgatory. The mercenaries that killed Ben’s daughter were the bad guys Sayid took out for shaking down his brother. And on and on and on….

What we saw in this sideways purgatory wasn’t happening concurrently with the actions on the island. As Christian said, there was no time there. Charlie was the first to get a “feeling” that something wasn’t right when he almost “died” on the plane. One by one, they were awakened, enlightened, whatever you want to call it. They became aware that, “Oh, we’re dead. And if we so choose, it’s time to move on.” Remember that Desmond said that Ana Lucia wasn’t “ready yet” and Ben still needed more time to process before he entered the church?

I think it’s very important that people get that there was no real time in this sideways/purgatory world. What you saw at the end wasn’t everyone dying. Juliet died in present time in Sawyer’s arms on the island even having flashes (deja vu, maybe?) of that moment of awakening in the sideways/purgatory world. “We should get coffee sometime…. we can go dutch.” Charlie died turning off the jamming signal. Jack died restoring the island after being stabbed by evil Locke. We don’t know how or when Kate, Sawyer, Miles, Hurley and Ben died. Again, Christian said that some of the people in the church died before him (Charlie, the Kwons, Sayid, Juliet, Locke, Boone, Shannon, etc.) and some long after him (Kate, Sawyer, Bernard, Rose, Hurley, etc.)

One of the things I found beautiful was that when everyone became “aware” there was no, “Oh, my God! What happened to you?” That should have been everyone’s first tip off. When they became aware, they knew, we are dead and this is the beginning of our afterlife and all you saw was joy, relief, love, acceptance and peace. Go back and watch the moment the Kwons got it. Go back and watch when Juliet got it. Check out when Kate said to Jack, “I’ve missed you so much, Jack.” For all we know, she lived to be 80 and is “seeing” her Jack again for the first time since leaving him on the island.

I just thought of the perfect example to explain what I’m talking about. Remember the end of The Titanic? Rose dies as an old lady in her sleep. Jack died decades before in the water when her selfish ass wouldn’t even take turns with him on the floating door. When she died, where did she go? Back to that ship that changed her life, back to Jack who looked as he did when she knew him, surrounded by the people that were there and shared that experience and she looked as she did then. Get it now?

My friend Mary summed it up perfectly: it was a place of gathering and waiting. A place they created so they could all find each other.

OK.. Now here’s the recap:

Previously on Lost: Jacob tells Jack where to find the heart of the island and makes him the protector. Locke says he’s going to find Desmond and use him to destroy the island. In the sideways world, Desmond starts gathering the plane survivors together.

And now…

The crate carrying Christian Shepherd’s coffin arrives in Los Angeles as Jack sits in his office at the hospital. Dr. Ben Linus begins his day at school while Ben on the island gets ready to help Locke. Detective Sawyer starts his day at the precinct while island Sawyer helps Kate dress her wound. In Los Angeles, Kate watches at Christian’s coffin arrives at a church.

Desmond signs for the coffin and instructs the delivery guy to deliver it in the back. He then gets in the car with Kate who wants to know who died. She scoffs at the name Christian Shepherd. He tells her that he’s her friend whether she realizes it or not. He also says that he wants to leave. (You know, move on.)

On the island, Jack fills Sawyer, Kate and Hurley in on the heart of the island and where it’s located. Sawyer offers to go fetch Desmond when they realize that Locke is going to need him. At this point, I’m all, “Noooo, don’t separate!” Hurley says he has a bad feeling about this and I kinda agree.

In Los Angeles, Hurley takes Sayid to the motel where Sayid kicked ass after breaking Hurley out of the insane asylum. He instructs Sayid to wait in the car while he goes up to a room. Charlie’s there, drunk and surly. Hurley tells him he’s there to take him to the concert, but Charlie ain’t having it. Hurley tells him it will be the most important thing he’s ever done. Charlie still won’t go. Hurley shoots him with a tranquilizer gun and puts him in the back of the car.

“What was that?” Sayid asked.

“That was Charlie.”

On the island, Kate wants to know why Jack took the job. He says he had to. They share some mushy talk and Hurley tells them it would all be really sweet if they weren’t all about to die.

Sawyer gets busted by Ben as he spies on Locke. He realizes that Desmond is gone, pops Ben in the face and leaves but not before hinting to Locke that they are no longer candidates. Ben is pissed cause he realizes that Locke LITERALLY meant he was destroying the island. Locke realizes there are dog prints leading away from the well.

Desmond wakes up at Bernard and Rose’s house. Bernard goes off to get breakfast. Rose explains they built the house in 1975, lived there a few years, but the sky lit up so she doesn’t know what year it is. She tells Desmond that after he eats, he gotta get the hell up outta there. They don’t want no parts of no drama. Bernard returns followed by Ben and Locke. Locke tells Desmond that if he doesn’t go with him, he’ll kill Rose and Bernard.

Rose is all, “You don’t have to go anywhere with him.”

Rose is gangsta!

Desmond agrees after Locke gives his word that he won’t harm them.

Locke asks Desmond if he knows where they are going. Desmond assumes it’s a place with a really bright light. Ben’s walkie-talkie goes off.

“What was that?” Locke wants to know.

“What was what?” Ben asks.

Ben is awesome.

It’s Miles. He’s trying to let Ben know that he found Richard. Richard wakes up and tells Miles they need to go blow up the plane.

Um, why is he on LAST WEEK’S plan?

In Los Angeles, Miles shows up at his father’s benefit concert and sees Sayid in Hurley’s car as they are dropping off Charlie. He calls Sawyer and tells him and they agree that someone should check in on Sun, the only witness to the shootout at the restaurant.

At the hospital, Sun and Jin are in the hospital when Juliet arrives to give Sun a sonogram. When she does, Sun gets memories of her life. When Jin looks at the sonogram, his memories return. I’m a big crying mess at this point. Juliet remains confused.

On the island, Sawyer catches up with Hurley, Jack and Kate. Jack tells them that it doesn’t matter if Locke finds Desmond or not – they’re all headed to the same place anyway.

In Los Angeles, Jack prepares to operate on Locke. He is confident that the procedure will work.

On the island, Miles and Richard prepare to paddle over to Hydra island. Miles notices that Richard now has his first grey hair. This means he’s finally aging and Richard realizes he wants to live. As they paddle over, they find Lapidus on a flotation device. He tells them they really shouldn’t blow up the plane since he’s a pilot and might need it.

Locke and his crew meet up with Jack and his peeps on their way to the light. Kate immediately starts shooting at Locke – Ben and Desmond hit the dirt and I crack up laughing. Locke tells Kate to save her bullets. Locke realizes that Jack is the replacement and thinks it’s an obvious choice for Jacob, but Jack tells him he volunteered. Jack says they’re all going to the light and when they get there, he’s gonna kill Locke.

Everyone is all, “Oh, snap!!”

In Los Angeles, Jack and Juliet are at the hospital. Turns out, they used to be married and Juliet is the mother of Jack’s son. Sawyer shows up to see Sun.

On the island, Jack tells Sawyer he thinks Jacob had Desmond brought there because he’s a weapon to defeat Locke. He’s not sure how though. Sawyer comments, “That’s a long con.” And I agree. But it makes sense. As they approach the bamboo field, Locke says it should just be him, Jack and Desmond from there on. Before they go, Hurley tells Jack he believes in him.

Oh, and as if that’s not enough, there’s a storm coming.

As Jack ties Desmond to the rope that will lower him into the light, Desmond tells Jack that when he goes into that light he’s gonna go to a better place. A place where their loved ones are, and where they don’t have to think about the island. He tells Jack he’s in that place to. They sat next to each other on the plane. He wonders if he can take Jack there too.

Jack says that what happened, happened and there are no do-overs. This needs to be done. Then the three of them prepare to go into the cave.

In Los Angeles, Hurley and Sayid sit outside a bar. Hurley says that there are rules so he can’t tell Sayid what’s going on, but he wants Sayid to trust him. He tells Sayid that he knows he’s a good guy. Sayid says that Hurley doesn’t know anything him, but Hurley says he knows a lot about him. Tow guys come out of the bar fighting. A girl runs out. “Leave my brother alone!” She gets pushed to the ground. Sayid rushes out to help her and … it’s Shannon! They each have flashes where they remember their lives together. And I’m a crying mess again!

Boone runs over and we realize it was all a plan to get Shannon and Sayid to remember. Apparently, Boone has already been enlightened.

On the island, Miles radios Ben and tells him, Kate and Sawyer that they have Lapidus and they’re gonna get the plane up and running. Claire shows up and acts all crazy again. She thinks they’re there to kill her for Locke. They tell her they’re not, that they’re gonna fix the plane and leave, but she refuses to go with them.

Locke and Jack lower Desmond into the cave. Locke wants to reminisce, but Jack points out that it’s not really Locke and that he disrespects Locke’s memory by wearing his face.

In Los Angeles, Juliet has to leave the benefit to go back to the hospital. She leaves David with Claire. Backstage, Charlotte wakes up Charlie because it’s time for him to perform. Daniel sees Charlotte and is immediately smitten. They don’t have a flash moment though because this isn’t about them. Perhaps they’ll have their own time.

Kate is shocked to see Claire at her table with Desmond. They sit down as the concert begins. Daniel and Drive Shaft take the stage and when Charlie sees Claire, he can’t stop staring. She is like, “Why is this creepy heroin boy staring at me? Oh, and also, I’m in labor.”

On the island, Desmond goes into this big of light and removes a stone from a hole in the middle of it. Everything goes dark, and the water into the pool stops flowing. The island starts to shake and the earth underneath glows red.

“It looks like you were wrong. Goodbye, Jack.”

Ruh-roh.

Jack goes to stop him by kicking his ass. It seems that whatever Desmond did, made him mortal and Locke can now bleed. (Wow, it was a long con.) When Locke realizes this, he busts Jack in the head with a rock and hauls ass.

In Los Angeles, Kate helps Claire backstage as her labor progresses. Eloise Faraday Widmore approaches Desmond’s table and says, “I thought I told you to stop this.” She wants to know what happens when everyone knows. Desmond says, “Then we’re leaving.” She asks if he’s going to take Daniel. “Not with me.”

See, she’s not ready for her son to move on.

Kate delivers Aaron and she and Claire remember. When Charlie shows up with a blanket, Claire takes his hand and then he remembers too.

Do I even need to say that I lost my shit?

Desmond walks up and asks Kate, “Do you understand?”

She asks, “Now what?

On the island, it’s raining and everything is going to hell. Ben pushes Hurley out of the way of a falling tree and gets pinned. Jack wakes up and heads to the cave looking for Desmond. He then goes after Locke.

Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley try to free Ben. Miles calls on the walkie and tells them they need to get their asses to the plane. Ben says they can take Locke’s boat. Yeah, after they get you from under that damn tree.

Locke is cliffside, looking out at his boat and preparing to leave when Jack shows up.

“LOCKE!”

He turns, sees Jack, and pulls out that big ass knife. They run at each other, one going down hill, the other heading up, in the rain. The scene cuts just as Jack jumps at him Gladiator-style.

Awesome.

They fight on the cliff. Locke stabs Jack and that explains his sideways self having a scar that he didn’t remember. Locke starts to cut Jack’s throat (also explaining those wounds) when Kate shows up, shooting Locke in the back.

“I saved you a bullet.”

As the island continues to shake, Locke tells Jack, “You’re too late.” Jack kicks him over the edge.

In Los Angeles, Jack and a nurse are wheeling Locke to his recovery room. The nurse asks why Jack’s neck is bleeding. After Locke is put into his bed, he starts to wake up. He tells Jack that he can feel his legs. Jack says this is unlikely. He moves the sheet back and watches as Locke wiggles his toes. When Locke does, he remembers everything. Jack doesn’t yet, even though he got a small flash of looking down the hatch with Locke. He’s still not ready.

Locke tells him they need to go, but Jack says he needs to see his son. Locke points out that Jack doesn’t have one. Locke tells Jack that he hopes someone does for him what Jack just did for Locke.

On the island, the rain has stopped, but the island is still sinking. The rope ladder leading to the ocean is all jacked up. Jack is bleeding badly.

In Los Angeles, Sawyer finds Sun and Jin’s room. They are preparing to leave. They are also amused that Sawyer is a detective. He shows them a pic of Sayid and Sun assures Sawyer that she is safe. As they leave, Jin tells Sawyer, “We’ll see you there.”

“See me where?!”

On the island, Lapidus gives Miles some duct tape and a manual to fix the hydraulics. Lapidus is all business and wont even talk to Ben on the walkie talkie. He tosses it into the co-pilot’s seat. Jack tells Sawyer to get Kate on the boat and to the plane. Ben gives the walkie to Sawyer and says if the island is going down, he’s going down with it. Hurley also wants to stay with Jack.

Jack tells Kate to get Claire on the plane. She wants Jack to tell her she will see him again, but he can’t. They kiss and tell each other they love one another and then he leaves with Ben and Hurley.

I hope people get that that was the last time they ever saw each other alive.

Miles is working on the plane with Richard. “I don’t believe in a lot of things, but I believe in duct tape.” Ha!

Sawyer radios Lapidus and tells him to wait for them. He says, “We’re getting off the ground while there’s still ground.” And tosses the radio aside… AGAIN!

“Son of a bitch!” That may be his last Son of a Bitch of the series.

In Los Angeles, Sawyer gets directions to the vending machines from Jack and is fighting with the vending machine, which refuses to drop his Apollo bar, when Juliet shows up.

She tells him that if he unplugs it and plugs it back in, it will give him the candy. He mistakenly unplugs the lights instead. When she hands him the candy bar, they each remember short flashes.

She says, “We should get coffee sometime…”

“I’d love to, but the machine ate my dollar. I only got one left.”

“We can go dutch.”

They hug, kiss, and cry and I nearly vomit from crying so hard.

In Los Angeles, Jack shows up after the concert has ended. Kate is there and Jack realizes that he knows her. She tells him that she stole his pen on the flight from Australia, but that’s not where she knows him from. She touches his face and he gets short flashes.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

He wants to know what is happening to him and she tells him she can show him if he’ll go with her.

On the island, Ben, Jack and Hurley make it back to the cave with the light. Hurley realizes that Jack is going to put the light back on, but die in the process. Jack tells Hurley that it needs to be him to protect the island. Jack’s purpose was to kill Locke and then fix the island. Hurley’s purpose was to protect it. Jack gets Hurley to drink some of the water and Hurley becomes like Jack. Ben and Hurley lower Jack down into the cave.

Lapidus gets the plane running.

Jack ties Desmond to the rope and tells him he’s done his job. He needs to go home to his wife and son. Jack will handle putting the light back on. “See you in another life, brutha.”

Kate and Sawyer find Claire on the beach. She doesn’t want to leave because she knows the island made her crazy and she doesn’t want Aaron to see her like that. Kate pretty much smacks the bitch out of her crazy talk and they head for the plane.

Sawyer tries radioing Lapidus, but the walkie is on the floor and Miles and Richard are busy giving him direction on how to back the plane up without hitting trees and shit.

They hit the runway and see Sawyer, Kate and Claire. Richard and Miles help them aboard.

Jack struggles to hold his insides inside as he moves the stone back to the middle of the pool. He finally gets it into place just as the plane is taking off.

Jack lays by the stone as things start to settle down and the water begins to flow again. The light turns back on. He laughs and cries with relief.

In Los Angeles, a cab drops Locke off at the church where Christian’s body was delivered. He’s still in a wheelchair. Ben is sitting outside the church. Locke asks if everyone is already inside. Ben says most of them are. Ben then apologizes for what he did to Locke. He says he was selfish and jealous of John. Because John was special and he wasn’t. Locke forgives Ben. Ben says he still has things to work out and that he’s gonna stay there awhile. He also points out that Locke doesn’t need to be in the chair anymore. Locke stands, says goodbye and walks into the church.

On the island, Ben and Hurley have pulled up Desmond and Ben says that he thinks Desmond is going to be okay. Hurley realizes Jack is gone and that he is now the island’s protector. He asks if Ben will help him out and Ben says he’d be honored to. Ben also points out that Hurley doesn’t have to run things the way Jacob did.

In Los Angeles, Hurley comes out of the church and asks Ben if he’s coming in. Ben says no. Hurley tells him that Ben made a great Number 2. Ben tells Hurley he was a great Number 1.

Kate and Jack arrive and she tells him they are there because it is the church where he was going to have his father’s funeral. She tells him to go around back and she’ll be waiting inside.

On the island, Jack wakes up in the exact spot the Man In Black was washed up on when he died. He stumbles through the jungle.

At the church, Jack enters a room and finds his father’s coffin. As he touches it, he gets the flashes and finally lets go. When he opens the coffin, he finds it empty. His father shows up and tells him that Jack is dead. They (the crash survivors) made that place (sideways world) as a place to meet and move on. This is because they were all so special to one another.

As Jack makes his way into the church, his life on the island comes to an end just as it began – the bamboo field, with his father’s tennis shoe hanging from a piece of bamboo, and Vincent the dog at his side. The Ajira flight soars overhead and he knows his friends made if off the island before he dies.

Everyone at the church embraces and takes seats at the pews. Christian Shepherd exits the church letting in a bright light. They all look at the light, comforted, happy, and at peace.

The final shot is Jack’s eye closing as he dies.

Matthew Fox said that if they did their jobs, the finale would be beautiful.

I think they did their jobs.

What do you think?

Lost S6 Epi. 15 “What They Died For”

Theories, observations, questions and predictions will be in bold. I’m also gonna point out answers to previous questions in red since so many complain that each episode doesn’t answer anything and I completely disagree.

Previously on Lost: Sawyer pulls the wires on the bomb and we lose Sayid, Sun, and Jin.

And now..

In Los Angeles, Jacks wakes up at home (yet another episode that starts with an eye-opening shot… in my other recaps I kept track of how many scenes like this there were) and discovers a pretty nasty cut on his neck. He’s missing skin. He doesn’t have time to worry about it too much because his son asks if he wants to have breakfast. They have a family bonding moment with Claire, who is living with them now.

Jack gets a call from Oceanic. They’ve located his father’s coffin and it will be in L.A. by the end of the day. The caller isn’t from Oceanic at all. It’s Desmond.

On the island, Jack sews up Kate’s wound – just like she did for him the day they met. She talks about Sun and Jin’s daughter and how he never got to meet her. She says Locke did this to them and that they have to kill him.

“I know,” he replies.

Later, they watch as debris from the sub floats ashore. If a body washes up, I’m gonna lose my shit. Jack tells the others about Desmond being in a well and that if Locke wants him dead, they’re gonna need him. Everyone mounts up.

In Los Angeles, Desmond watches as Locke returns to school. He starts his car, but Ben shows up and demands that he stop. He tells Desmond he’s not gonna let him hurt Locke again. Desmond gets out the car and says he doesn’t want to hurt Locke, but help him let go. Ben wants to know who Desmond is, and Desmond starts to beat Ben up. This causes Ben to “remember” when Desmond beat his ass on the pier when Ben came to kill Penny.

On the island, Ben, Miles and Richard are making their way to The Others’ old houses. Ben says he has C4 hidden in the secret room behind his bookcase. They can use that to blow up the plane. As they walk by a house, Miles gets some communication from a dead person. Ben wants to know who, but Miles stalls. Richard tells Ben it’s Alex. After Ben left the island, Richard buried her on the spot they’re standing on. Ben thanks Richard.

In Ben’s house, he pulls back the bookcase and Miles notices another room within the secret room.

“What’s that? A secreter room?”

Ha!

Ben says that’s where he was told he could summon the monster, but that was before he realized the monster was summoning him.

Told by whom?!?

Ben opens a safe and gets all of the C4 after Richard says they want to blow the plane to hell. They hear someone in the house and it’s Zoe (Tina Fey) and Charles Widmore.

“Hello, Benjamin. Can I come in?”

Oh, snap!

Widmore tells Zoe to go get their equipment from their outrigger at the dock. Widmore tells Richard that he has already rigged the plane. Ben wants to know how Charles got back to the island and Widmore says that Jacob visited him soon after his freighter was blown up. He told Widmore he needed to return for this exact purpose. Before they can talk further, Zoe radios that Locke is coming. Widmore tells her to run back to the house.

In Los Angeles, Ben is in the nurse’s office at the school and tells Locke what Desmond told him about trying to get Locke to let go. Locke realizes this is what Jack said to him

Desmond walks into the police station asking for a detective. Miles is getting all dolled up to go to a benefit concert at his Dad’s museum (same benefit that Jack’s son is playing in and Jack is attending.) Desmond confesses to Sawyer that he ran over Locke and then beat up Ben. Desmond is placed in the same cell as Sayid and next to Kate.

On the island, they’re headed to the well to look for Desmond and Sawyer tells Jack that he killed Sayid, Sun and Jin by tampering with the bomb. Jack tells Sawyer that he didn’t kill them, Locke did. (Actually, Sawyer kinda did. Locke CAN’T kill them.)

Hurley sees a young Jacob in the jungle and chases after him. He tells Hurley to give him the ashes he took from Ilana’s things after she died (Jacob’s ashes.) He takes them and runs and Hurley chases him again till he finds Jacob sitting by a fire. He tells Hurley that his ashes are in the fire and when the fire burns out, Hurley will never see him again. He tells Hurley to get his friends because they are very close to the end.

Yikes!

On the island, Locke notices the outrigger and heads towards the camp. Widmore and Zoe are going to hide in Ben’s secret room, Ben is going to face Locke and Richard is going to try and reason with him. Miles is going to haul ass through the jungle. I like Miles’ plan.

Richard and Ben go outside and Locke smoke monster shows up and knocks Richard pummels into Richard. Ben calmly sits on the porch of his house and stays there till Locke walks up. Locke tells Ben that he needs him to kill some people for him. He says if he does that, Ben can have the island all to himself. Ben agrees and then totally dimes out that Widmore and Zoe are hiding in his closet.

In Los Angeles, Alex sees that Ben is hurt and offers to give him a ride home with her Mom. Danielle Rousseau introduces herself and they invite him over for dinner. At the house, Danielle tells Ben that Alex’s father died when she was two and that Ben is the closest thing to a father Alex has ever had. This touches Ben and he starts to cry.

There’s a moment at the end of the scene where he looks at her and I swear you can see him having another flash.

On the island, Ben leads Locke to Widmore. Locke tells Ben to wait outside – that he doesn’t want to see this, but Ben says he does. Locke tells Widmore it’s nice to talk to him without the fences between them. He wants to know who Zoe is and as she starts to answer, Widmore instructs her not to. Locke slits her throat. Locke recognizes that Widmore isn’t afraid to die so he tells him that when he leaves, he will kill Penny. Widmore tells him that Desmond Hume was brought to the island because of his unique resistance to electromagnetic energy. Desmond was a last resort. He wont say more in front of Ben so Locke tells him to whisper it. As he does, Ben shoots and kills Widmore.

“He doesn’t get to save his daughter.”

Locke is willing to let this go as Widmore has already told him what he needed to know. Ben then asks, “Did you say there are some other people to kill?”

DAY-UM!

Hurley leads Kate, Jack and Sawyer to Jacob. It’s now nighttime. Hurley is surprised that they can all now see him. Kate asks if he’s the one that wrote their names on the wall. Jacob says he is. Kate wants to know why he chose them and why their friends had to die. Jacob says that they should sit down and he’ll tell them everything because by the time the fire goes out, one of them will have to take the job of protecting the island.

In Los Angeles, Locke goes to see Jack and tells him about what happened with Desmond and Ben. He tells Jack that maybe everything is happening for a reason. He agrees to let Jack fix him.

On the island, Jacob tells the group that he brought them there because he made a mistake. He says he made the monster the way he is and because of that, the monster wants to kill him. He knew he’d eventually figure out a way to do so, and when he did, Jacob would need a replacement.

Sawyer says their lives were fine before Jacob went messing with them. Jacob tells them that their lives weren’t fine. They were all alone and going nowhere. He said that they were all like him; flawed and alone. He chose them because they all needed the island as much as it needed them.

Kate asks why her name was crossed out and Jacob tells her it is because she became a mother. He says it was just a line with some chalk. If she wants the job, it’s hers.

This explains the Kwons then…. maybe. Sun became a mother and the name wasn’t crossed out so that probably means the Kwon in question was Jin.

Jack wants to know what the job is. Jacob says there’s a light at the center of the island and the job is to make sure it never goes out. It needs to be protected from Locke. Jack asks if it’s even possible to kill Locke. Jacob says, “I hope so because he’s certainly going to try and kill you.”

Hurley wants to know how Jacob is going to pick. Jacob says he isn’t going to. He wants them to ahve the one thing he was never given – a choice. If none of them chooses, it will all end very badly.

Jack says he’ll do it. It’s why he’s there. It’s what he’s supposed to do.

Jack and Jacob head to a river. Sawyer comments that Jack’s God-complex is gonna be off da hook now. Hurley says he’s glad it’s not him.

Jacob tells Jack that the light is near where he first woke up on the island. Jack says there’s nothing is, but Jacob assures him it is and that now he’ll be able to find it. Jacob chants over some water and instructs Jack to drink it. Jack wants to know how long he’ll have to do the job and Jacob tells him, “As long as you can.” Jack drinks the water and you can tell he feels different.

“Now you’re like me” Jacob says.

In Los Angeles, Sawyer approaches the jail cells and tells Desmond, Sayid and Kate that they’re being transported to county lockup. Kate tries to get Sawyer to let her go by flirting and proclaiming innocence, but Sawyer aint having it.

In the transport van, Desmond tells Sayid and Kate it’s time to leave. He says that when the van stops, they’ll have to give him their trust. After he sets them free, he will ask each of them to do something and they have to promise to do it. They both promise. The van stops and Ana Lucia lets them go. Yay! She wants to know where Desmond’s friend is with her money.

Hurley shows up in a Hummer and apologizes for being late.

“You didn’t tell me Ana Lucia was gonna be here.”

“Do I know you, tubby?”

“No. No. We’ve never met.”

She takes her money and leaves. Desmond tells Hurley Ana Lucia isn’t going with them because she’s not ready yet. Sayid leaves with Hurley and Desmond tells Kate they’re going to a concert as he hands her a cocktail dress.

On the island, Ben and Locke are walking through the woods when Ben asks Locke why he bothers to walk if he can turn into smoke. He says he likes feeling his feet on the ground because it reminds him that he’s human. They come upon the well and Locke realizes that Desmond isn’t dead and someone helped him out.

Ben wants to know what Widmore said to him. He tells Ben that Desmond is the fail-safe. What can be used to keep Locke on the island if Locke managed to kill all of Jacob’s beloved candidates. Locke tells Ben he’s going to find Desmond and get him to do the one thing he could never do himself – destroy the island.

Observations/Thoughts/Questions/Predictions:

• I’m not a religious person, but those wounds on Jack made me think of the stigmata. But what really strikes me is that they’re starting to look more and more like he’s had his throat cut. Could this be some kind of foreshadowing for something that’s gonna happen on the island? Donny wonders if it’s corresponding to what happened to him back in season one after the plane crashed. What I think he means is: the plane didn’t crash, but it did. So let’s say that as the sideways world is going on, Charlie in Los Angeles might get a neck injury around the same time Charlie on the island was hanged by Ethan Rom. I think it’s more a sign of things to come. OH, Donny did point out weeks ago during the episode, “Happily Ever After” that Desmond on the island had a bruise on his forehead right where Desmond in Los Angeles had a bandage from his accident with Charlie.
• I think it’s pretty obvious that this benefit concert at Miles’ Dad’s museum is important. Jack’s son is playing there so one would assume that Jack and Claire are attending. Miles invited Saywer. Charlotte will be there. Desmond and Kate are going. I told Donny, “They’re all gonna get there and the band will play All Along the Watchtower and they’ll realize that this has all happened before and it will happen again.”
• I was still wondering (even after Ben shot Widmore) if he were playing Locke. I can understand him going along with Locke long enough to see Widmore dead. Widmore is responsible for Alex’s death, but I thought Ben had achieved some kind of redemption earlier in the season. Of course, redemption on this show is usually followed by death so.. maybe not. Anyway, I’m not really sure Ben is in it to really kill the rest of the candidates. It seems like a sloppy way to make the villains be who we thought they were all along. But now that Locke has revealed that he’s going to use Desmond to destroy the island, why would Ben go along with that?! He wants the island all to himself. He always has. The only thing I can see is that now, with the threat of there being NO island is the candidates aren’t killed, Ben will really have no choice but to kill them all. Nicely played, Locke. Nicely played.
• I think everyone is going to die on the island. I just can’t shake this feeling that that will happen. I mean, for one, how the frak are they (Hurley, Sawyer, Kate, Miles and don’t forget, Bernard and Rose are still out there somewhere) going to leave the island? Even if someone removes the explosives, who can fly the plane? There are no more subs or boats. Maybe Jack’s new job comes with super human teleporting abilities. *shrugs*

What do you think?

Lost – S6 Epis 13 & 14 “The Candidate” and “Across The Sea”

Observations, theories, questions and points for discussion are in bold.

Previously, on Lost.

And now…

In Los Angeles, Locke wakes up in the hospital after being run down by Desmond, and operated on by Jack. Jack tells Locke that he is a candidate for a procedure that may restore feeling to his legs. Locke refuses. Locke’s fiance arrives and thanks Jack for saving Locke.

On the island, Jack wakes up on the beach, in a boat. Sayid is there. He welcomes Jack to Hydra Island and tells him, “At least you didn’t have to paddle.”

Oh, Sayid got jokes still?

On another part of the island, Widmore’s peeps march Sun, Jin, Hurley, Kate, Crazy Claire, Sawyer, and Lapidus to the bear cages. Sawyer refuses to get in and snatches a gun. Widmore shows up with a gun of his own and puts it to Kate’s head. He says that Kate’s name isn’t on the list so he has no problem popping a cap in her ass. Sawyer, having been to the cave and seen the names that are crossed out, knows this is true and drops the gun. After they’re in the cages, Widmore tells them he’s doing this for their own good.

Yeah, Widmore, my Mom used to say that before she beat my ass and it really didn’t make me feel any better.

In Los Angeles, Jack shows up at Bernard’s dental practice. He wants to look at Locke’s medical records. Bernard did some emergency dental surgery on Locke. When Jack explains that he met Locke on a flight from Australia, Bernard informs him he was on the flight too. Jack swoons from the coincidence. Bernard won’t tell him Locke’s business, but he tells him that another man was in the accident as well and gives Jack the name: Anthony Cooper. He tells Jack he hopes he finds what he’s looking for.

Is it me or does Bernard already seem enlightened? Did Desmond get to him already? He said that like a man who has already found what he’s looking for.

On the island, Sayid explains to Jack that there was a mortar attack that took out most of Locke’s followers. The rest scattered into the jungle. It’s just Sayid, Locke, and Jack now. Locke shows up and tells Jack that they need to rescue his people from Widmore. Jack is down with that, but says he’s still not going to leave the island. Locke says that’s fine, he still hopes to change Jack’s mind, but for now his friends DO want to leave and he needs Jack’s help in gaining their trust. Jack wants to know why he should trust Evil Locke and he explains that he could kill him and all of his friends, and ain’t shit he can do about it, but he hasn’t.

O-KAY.

We know this isn’t true. He can’t kill the candidates.

In the nasty ass bear cages where Sawyer and Kate did the nasty that first time, Sawyer tells Kate that her name was crossed out in the cave so that means she’s not needed. Kate, for once, is speechless.

Anyone have a guess as to what Kate did or didn’t do to knock herself out of the running?

In another cage, Sun and Jin reconnect. She learns that he saw pics of their daughter on Sun’s camera left with the Ajira stuff. She returns his wedding ring and then all hell breaks loose…

The power goes out, the sonar pylon thingies that keep the smoke monster out are useless and here comes Old Smokey. He starts tossing Widmore’s men around and chases others into the jungle. Kate tries to reach the cage keys that are on a dead man’s hip, but can’t. Lapidus starts kicking at one of the doors. Jack shows up and unlocks the cages.

“What are you doing here?” Kate asks.

Jack nods towards the jungle where the smoke monster is fucking shit up. “I’m with him.”

It’s now morning and the gang is trekking through the jungle. Jack tells them he’ll take them to the plane, but he’s not going with them. Sayid shows up and finds about 2,389 guns pointed at him. Jack tells everyone to lower their weapons – Sayid is with them now.

He is?

Sayid tells them that they need to go. Locke is waiting.

In Los Angeles, Jack shows up at an old folks home and wants to see Anthony Cooper. Locke’s fiance, Helen, arrives and tells Jack to leave well enough alone. He won’t. She takes him to Anthony who is pretty much a vegetable who can’t even wipe his own drool. She tells Jack that he’s Locke’s father.

Can I just say: in flashbacks, flash forwards, or sideways world, fuck Anthony Cooper!

On the island, Locke approaches the plane. Widmore’s men open fire on him. They are either sucky shots or the bullets bounce off. Locke snaps one guy’s neck and shoots the other. Then he takes his watch. Damn.

Locke boards the plane and finds it rigged with explosives.

When the gang arrives at the plane, Locke tells them that Widmore knew they were going for the plane and knew that Locke would kill his men. He rigged the plane (he shows them the C4 and puts it in his backpack) and wanted them all on it so they’d die. The plane is no longer safe, they have to take the submarine.

As they head off, Crazy Claire apologizes to Locke. He says he understands why she went with them.

Goodness, sometimes it’s like he really IS Locke.

Sawyer pulls Jack aside and tells him that if he doesn’t want to leave, that’s fine with him, but he doesn’t trust “that thing” (Locke) one bit and he needs Jack’s help in making sure Locke doesn’t get on the sub. Jack is all, “You saw what he did? How the hell am I supposed to do that?!” Sawyer tells him to get Locke into the water and he’ll take care of the rest.

Knowing how everything played out, I have to say, I don’t know what Sawyer’s plan could have possibly been.

In Los Angeles, Locke is talking in his sleep at the hospital. Jack hears him say, “Push the button” and “I wish you believed me.” (The latter is what he wrote in his suicide note to Jack.)

Claire comes to the hospital looking for Jack. He gets an Apollo bar from the vending machine (Dharma candy!) and they sit down to talk. Christian specifically wanted her to have a music box and she wondered if Jack knew why. Jack looks at the music box and says he has no idea. She asks how he died and Jack tells her he drank himself to death in Sydney. He mentions flying back with his body only to find that the airline lost it. Claire tells Jack that she just flew in from Sydney and they realize they were on the same flight.

I’m sorry, but Jack doesn’t look nearly as WHAT THE FUCK? as he should.

He asks to see the music box again and she opens it. It plays that creepy ass song she was singing in the temple and the song that played after the smoke monster fucked shit up there. She goes to leave and Jack offers to let her stay with him… because they’re family.

Also, maybe, he’s starting to realize the what the fuckness of the situation.

On the island, the sub seems unguarded, but they’re taking no chances. The gang quickly hustles to get aboard. Sawyer and Lapidus go first and put a gun to the captain’s head. They instruct him to fire it up and then signal to the rest it’s safe to board. As they head off, Locke switches backpacks with Jack and Jack doesn’t notice.

Locke asks Jack if he’s sure he won’t go. Jack says yes. Locke says whoever told him he needed to stay, had no idea what they were talking about. Jack is all, “John Locke told me I needed to stay, bitch!” and pushes Locke in the water.  Widmore’s men show up and shoot Kate.

Everyone starts shooting and Sayid and Jack get Kate in the sub.

Locke climbs out of the water and starts fucking shit up. Bullets are definitely bouncing off his ass. Sawyer goes back up for Claire, but when Locke advances on him, he realizes he has to leave without her. When the sub starts to leave, Claire makes a run for it, but Locke stops her telling her that she doesn’t want to be on that sub.

On the sub, the gang discovers the C4 hooked up to the watch Locke stole and it’s in Jack’s backpack… well, Locke’s backpack. They realize they’ve been puh-layed.

Sayid is his old self again and explains the goings-on of the bomb. He says they could possibly disarm it by removing two wires at the same time. Jack tells Sawyer, who rushes to pull the wires, that they should wait. Locke can’t kill them and he wants them to fuck with the bomb and technically kill themselves. He says if they do nothing, everything will be okay. Sawyer ain’t tryna hear that shit. He pulls the wires. The timer stops momentarily, then speeds up.

No time for “I told you so.” Sawyer has radioed for Lapidus to have the captain raise the sub, but it wasn’t raising fast enough. They’re screwed.

Sayid tells Jack that there’s a well near the camp they just left and Desmond is in it. Locke wants him dead which means that Jack is going to need him.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it’s going to be you, Jack.”

Yes, I believe it’s going to be Jack, too.

Sayid takes the bomb and runs off, trying to put as much distance between the explosion and his friends. And my heart aches as he blows up. No, really, I am profoundly sad.

The explosion knocks doors off hinges and Lapidus is taken out. Jack instructs Hurley to take Kate to the surface. (Really?) Hurley says he has to go after Sayid and Jack tells him, “There is no Sayid.”

The sub starts to take on water and Sun is pinned by a cabinet. Jin, Sawyer and Jack remove it, but then Sawyer is knocked out. Sun is also still pinned from the waist down by pipes.  Jin tells Jack to save Sawyer and he will save Sun. They share a look that says they both know this isn’t going to happen.

Jin can’t save Sun and she tells him to go, but he refuses. He tells her in Korean, “I won’t leave you. I will never leave you again.”

Then I proceed to lose my shit. Big old baby sobs.

They declare their love and kiss. The submarine is completely filled with water and the last we see of Sun and Jin are their hands as they unlock in death.

Fuck you, Lost. Fuck you for real.

In Los Angeles, Locke is being released from the hospital. Jin walks by him on his way to see Sun in her room. *SOB*

Jack stops Locke and asks him to reconsider. He tells him he knows about what happened with this Dad. Locke says he had just gotten his pilots license and took his Dad up in a plane and it crashed.

I am so not into this storyline right now. GET BACK TO THE FUCKING ISLAND!

Long story short, Locke won’t do the surgery and it ends with Jack telling Locke, “I wish you believed me.”

Creepy.

NOW BACK ON THE ISLAND,

Jack comes ashore with Sawyer who is coughing and will apparently be just fine. Hurley and Kate are there. Jack tells them that they didn’t make it. Hurley breaks down and then I break down again.

I can’t believe we lost Sayid, Sun and Jin, but Kate’s useless, non-candidate ass is still around.

Jack looks out at the ocean and cries too.

At the dock, Locke says the sub has sunk and Claire asks if they’re all dead. Locke says, “Not all of them.” He leaves to “finish what he started.”

Episode 14 – “Across the Sea.”

A woman washes up on the island. She’s very pretty and very pregnant. Another woman finds her and takes her to a cave where she feeds her and tends to her wounds.

The pregnant woman’s name is Claudia. She says there were others on her ship that crashed. She asks the island woman how she got to the island. She tells Claudia, “The same way you did. By accident.”  She won’t answer anymore questions and Claudia goes into labor. The island woman helps her deliver a baby boy that Claudia names Jacob. Claudia then delivers ANOTHER baby boy, but she only picked one name.

I hate when that happens.

The island woman wraps Jacob in white fabric and the other baby in black. Jacob is all peaceful and cute. The other baby is crying and scrunchy face.

Talk about foreshadowing.

Claudia asks to see her son (yes, one because she’d already gotten a peek at Jacob) and the island woman apologizes before beating her head in.

Years later, the boy in black finds a “game” on the beach. Jacob shows up and asks how he knows how to play it and the boy in black responds, “I just do.” He agrees to teach Jacob how to play as long as Jacob won’t tell their mother.

Of course, as soon as Jacob gets back to the cave he drops a dollar worth of dimes.

At the beach, the mother tells the boy in black that Jacob can’t lie. He’s not like him. He wants to know what the hell that’s supposed to mean. She tells him that he’s special. He questions where they came from and she tells him that he came from her and she came from her mother who is dead. He wants to know what dead is and she tells him it is something he’ll never have to worry about.

Jacob and the boy in black are hunting a boar when they come across other men who kill the boar. They rush to tell their mother who explains that they must never seek these “others” out. She says that people come to the island and they fight and destroy and it always ends the same. She leads them through the jungle blindfolded. They ask if people can hurt each other, does that mean they can hurt each other. She explains that she made it so that they could never hurt each other.

She leads them to a waterfall with a tunnel of light at the bottom. She explains that it is the warmest, brightest, light they’ll ever feel. A piece of that light is in everyone. They have to protect the light from other people because if people try to take it, to get more light, it can go out and if it goes out there, it goes out everywhere. She tells them that one day one of them will have to protect the light.

Personally, I think it looks like a whole bunch of people pissed in the pool.

The boys are in the jungle playing the game (with white and black stones) and Jacob complains about the rules. The boy in black tells him that one day he can have his own games where he can make up his own rules.

The boy in black sees Claudia in the distance, but Jacob can’t. He tells Jacob he’ll be right back and follows her. She shows him the camp where the “others” are living. She tells him that they came to the island 13 years ago the day before he was born. She says they came on a ship that crashed and that there are many things from across the sea. He came from across the sea. She also tells him that she is his mother.

The boy in black creeps into the cave at night and convinces Jacob to follow him. He tells Jacob they’re leaving and repeats everything Claudia told him. Jacob flips out and starts beating his ass. The mother shows up and is confronted with what Claudia told the boy in black. She tells him that no matter what he was told, he will never be able to leave the island. He doesn’t believe her and says that one day he will prove it.

On the beach, Jacob asks if what his brother said was true and the mother confesses. She says she had to stop their real mother from taking them to her people because they wouldn’t remain good and she needed them to. Jacob asks if he’s so good, why does she love the other son more. She says she loves them in different ways. She then asks if Jacob will stay with her and he says yes.

As an adult, Jacob watches his brother as he lives with the others. They meet to play the board game and he wants to know why Jacob watches them. Jacob says he wants to know if what their mother says about the others is right. He says that they don’t seem to be so bad. The brother says that he has lived with them for 30 years and they are greedy, manipulative, and selfish. Jacob asks why he lives with them if they’re so bad. The brother explains that they’re a means to an end.

He tosses a knife at a well and it sticks to it. The brother tells Jacob that there are smart men living amongst them that are curious about how things work. They find places on the island where metal reacts strangely, and when they do, they dig. Jacob says he doesn’t want to leave the island. His brother asks what he’s going to do when the mother dies because everything dies. When Jacob returns to the cave, he tells the mother that the brother says he finally figured out a way to leave the island.

She goes to their camp and waits till the others leave. She goes down the well and finds the brother. He removes some rock from the wall and reveals some of the light. He explains that they built a wheel attached to a system that triggers the water and light and they’re going to make a big opening in the wall and turn the wheel. Then, he’ll be able to go. She wants to know how he knows all of this and he says, “Because I’m special.”

She hugs him goodbye, then apologizes before ramming his head in the wall.

She returns to the cave, wakes Jacob, and takes him back to the light – this time letting him see how to get there.

She tells him that the light is the source, the heart of the island. Light is down there. Life is down there. Death is down there. Rebirth is down there.

There’s a lot going on down there!

She makes him promise that he won’t ever go down there. She said if he does, it would be much worse than dying. She chants over a glass of wine (I think it’s wine) and tells him he has to drink it in order to accept the responsibility of protecting the island for as long as he can… then he’ll have to find a replacement.

Jacob don’t wanna! He knows that she wanted it to be the other brother all along, but she says it was always supposed to be Jacob – she sees that now. Besides, he doesn’t really have a choice. He drinks and she tells him they are now the same.

The brother wakes up at the well which she has filled in. How the hell did she do that? Also, she burned down the others’ camp, killing them all. He flips out and goes all crazy-eyed.

The mother and Jacob are headed back to their cave when he comments it’s about to rain. She tells him he should gather firewood before it does. He says he’ll see her back home, but she knows he won’t. When she gets to the cave, she finds it trashed. The brother stabs her in the back.

He wants to know why she wouldn’t let him leave and she says because she loves him. She thanks him, then dies. Jacob comes back and starts kicking the brother’s ass again. Apparently they can hurt each other, just not kill each other. He drags him to the waterfall and he tries to get Jacob to listen to reason saying their mother killed everyone at his camp.

Jacob tells his brother if he wants to find the light and leave the island, he can go. He pushes him in the water and the brother is knocked out by a rock. His body floats into the light. A few moments later, the smoke monster comes roaring out. Jacob follows the stream and finds his brother’s body. He carries it back to the cave and places it with the mother’s body. He says, “Goodbye, brother.”

Now we know who the two skeletons found back in season 1 are. We also know how the satchel with the two stones got there.

First, let’s talk about some stuff that I’ve neglected since I’ve been too busy to recap every episode the next day:

• It seems near-death experiences in the sideways world is one way to trigger the … let’s call it “awakening.” I say one way because Libby and Hurley weren’t in any danger, but just seeing each other, spending time, and then kissing seemed to be enough for them to get flashes of their prior (true) lives. It seems to work the same way on the island as well. Did Juliet get flashes of her “sideways” life before dying? Is this how she knew to tell Sawyer via Miles that “it worked?”
• Since it’s getting late in the game I guess we’re to assume that Desmond is off doing his spiritual duty and setting people on their true paths. These people were meant to be in each other’s lives. Was he going to hurt Hurley, but didn’t once Hurley confessed to his strange meeting with Libby?
• We finally have an explanation to the whispers heard around the island. They are heard right before a dead person appears. This seems right, but doesn’t explain why they were heard by Shannon right before she and Sayid saw Walt.
• Now that we know what the smoke monster is and what his motivations are, I think it clears up its two encounters with Mr. Eko. He seems to have spent all of this time trying to figure out a loophole around the rule that says he can’t kill Jacob and killing Jacob is the key for him to leave the island. I think he spent all this time trying to find his own “candidates.” Someone who could get close enough to Jacob to kill him. We saw him try this back in the 1800′s with Richard and it didn’t work. But when did he try? After “scanning” Richard and realizing what he’d have to do (or I should say, who he’d have to appear as – Richard’s dead wife, Isabella) in order to manipulate him. He played off of Richard’s love of his dead wife and his deep religious beliefs. I think when he first encountered Eko, he “saw” (as those of us with TiVo slo-mo capabilities did) what kind of man Eko was/had been. I think he thought he would be able to manipulate Eko which is why he didn’t kill him. Remember, he also didn’t kill Locke after their first encounter back in season 1. This is what led Locke to foolishly believe he’d be okay if Jack had just let old smokey pull him down the hole back in season 3′s finale. Once he realized that Eko had indeed become a righteous man (after appearing as Eko’s brother), he killed him.
• The latter part of my above point puts serious doubts on my theory that EVERYONE that has been brought to that island (and we know now that the only way to go is to be brought there by Jacob) was a candidate. He spent centuries trying to find just the right replacement. Someone that would protect the island at all costs. If Evil Locke can’t kill the final six (now three) candidates, then he shouldn’t have been able to kill the pilot, Eko, and the numerous others he has killed over the past six seasons. But if they’re not candidates, then why were their names on the lighthouse wheel and on the wall?

The Candidate:

• I have a tiny complaint on how Sayid has been treated this season. I’m okay with him becoming infected. I’m even okay with (somewhat) him dying. I mean, it’s the end and this has been a life and death show. To think that everyone we like was going to make it to the end (Hello! Boone, Shannon, Charlie, Eko, anyone?) would just be plain naive. But I do feel like his storyline this season has been rushed. He was infected after being dunked in the waters of the temple, I get that. He went all “I will do your evil bidding to see my lady love again” and I get that too. Then he spent two episodes or so being a zombie. He sat by and watched as Claire almost slit Kate’s throat. After one come to Jesus meeting with Desmond, he proved that he still had free will and though I love that he did the right thing before and at the end, I wish we would have a little acknowledgment of that amongst his friends. I think that if he had explained what had happened to him it would have made it so that maybe, just maybe, Sawyer wouldn’t have pulled those wires. Maybe, just maybe, if Jack had told EVERYONE about his experience with Richard and the dynamite and the lighthouse, Sawyer would have had more faith. Maybe, just maybe, if Hurley would have told EVERYONE about Jacob coming to him, off-island, and giving him the guitar case, Sawyer would have realized there is something bigger at play… and not have pulled the wire.
• Sun not invoking their daughter’s name surprised me, but I understand it. She knew her husband and she knew his mind was made up. You think he didn’t remember they had a daughter he never met? Of course he remembered. Why voice the guilt he was already feeling in his last moments alive?
• It should be very obvious to everyone right now that Evil Locke didn’t need all of the candidates to leave, he needed them dead. I told Donny weeks ago that the only reason it made sense for him to need them all to leave is that there would be no more candidates. But it makes MORE sense that would need them to be dead.
• He’s lucky his plan semi-worked. If Kate hadn’t been shot, no one would have had cause to look in the backpack and tamper with the bomb. If Jack was right (and I think he was) it would have never gone off.
• OKAY, you know what? I just answered my own question from above! EVERYONE that comes to the island is a candidate! And everyone that is left on the island WAS a candidate. Like, Kate. She was one, her name is crossed off, and Locke can kill her. Widmore can kill her. Anyone can kill her (someone, please kill her!) because she is no longer a candidate. What we need to figure out is how do you get your name crossed off without dying? Were people like Eko, the pilot, etc. already crossed off so that made them fair game for old smokey? If so, what did they do or didn’t do to no longer be eligible?

Across the Sea

• I think that the woman who raised Jacob and the brother in black (not be confused with brotha in black) was “brought” there by the person she eventually replaced. She knew good and damn well there was life across the sea because that is where she came from. Telling the boys otherwise kept them from getting curious.
• REVELATION!!! Okay, so what if when Jacob put his brother into the light he didn’t turn into the smoke monster, but RELEASED it? Hear me out: she already warned that the light was many things. Not just good things. It was EVERYTHING. And that to try to fuck with it could put it out and then it would go out everywhere. What if putting his brother in there (his brother that had just become a murderer) unleashed this smoke of evil which has the power to look like any dead person on the island (what I’ve been saying since season 1) and it chose to look like the brother to torment Jacob, the one thing keeping it from being unleashed into the world. It just so happens that it’s goal is the same as Jacob’s dead brother – to leave. When it said to him (at the end of season 5) “Do you know how badly I want to kill you?” it wasn’t his brother, but the evil that knows it needs Jacob to die in order to leave. It looked like his brother that day, but who is to say it hasn’t looked like Claudia, or their mother that raised them, or any other dead person on the island, fucking with Jacob over the years? Just a thought. Of course, it could be as cut and dry as it appears: the brother (who wasn’t a bad guy until the moment he killed his mother) was knocked into the light and it took the evil out of him and unleashed it onto the island. The evil part of him still wants to leave. That hasn’t changed and now it will do anything, to anyone, to make that happen. What do you think?
• Notice how EVERYONE on this show is neither all good or all bad? Think about it: if you were an Oceanic 815 survivor and made a list of those you wanted to hang out with, those you trusted to help you survive or get off the island, everyone on that list has some dirt. Charlie was awesome, but Charlie also knocked Sun out to make everyone think there was another others’ attack. Sawyer can be a hero. He looks out for women and children (took a bullet for Walt, took care of Aaron when Claire disappeared, and jumped off the helicopter to make it the Oceanic 6 instead of 7), but he also killed Anthony Cooper in cold blood. Kate is a murderer. Sayid is a murderer AND a torturer. But they were all candidates. There is nothing saying that this is necessarily all about ALL GOOD VS. ALL EVIL. Hell, Jacob killed his brother AFTER he became the island’s protector. I think it’s about who can do the job, at all costs. You don’t need to be the most good to be Jacob’s successor. That said, I think it will be Jack who isn’t the MOST good of everyone left… that title definitely falls on Hurley.
• I think the final ISLAND scene will involve Jack in the role of Jacob, the island protector, making peace with the fact that the island will forever be his home… until it’s time to pass the torch to someone else and Locke (as he is now evil brother/smoke monster) much like the first scene we ever saw with Jacob and his brother. “Do you know how badly I want to kill you?” Like Battlestar Galactica, this has all happened before and it will all happen again. I think the cycle will start over. I think the FINAL OFF-ISLAND scene might very well be a montage of how life works out for the survivors in their alternate/new lives. Will Locke allow Jack to fix him? Will Claire raise Aaron? Will Jin and Sun live happily ever after with their daughter? I think so.

What do you think?

Lost – S6 Epi. 12 “The Last Recruit”

Previously on Lost: In Los Angeles, Sawyer busts Kate, Sayid busts caps in all kinds of asses, and Sun gets shot. Desmond runs over Locke. On the island, Jack comes face-to-face with Evil Locke for the first time.

And now…

Evil Locke wants Jack to go off into the woods alone so they can “catch up.” When they’re alone Evil Locke explains that he chose Locke because Locke was foolish enough to believe the island had a purpose for him and then there’s the whole matter of Jack being nice enough to bring Locke’s body back. He also admits to looking like Jack’s father in order to help them find water. He claims that he has only ever wanted to help Jack and the rest leave the island.

In Los Angeles: In the ambulance, on the way to the hospital, Ben explains to the paramedics that Locke was already paralyzed. Locke asks that they call Helen. As he’s being wheeled inside, so is Sun, and in Korean she says, “No… no!” It’s him!,” after seeing Locke.

On the island, Evil Locke and Jack come across Claire in the jungle. Evil Locke displays some manners and leaves them alone to chat. Surprisingly, she is coming off less crazy than usual… her hair still looks a hot ass mess though.

Jack says he hasn’t decided if he’s leaving the island with Evil Locke, but Claire tells him that he has. He already decided the moment he let Evil Locke talk to him.

The next morning (they were in the jungle alone ALL NIGHT?), Sawyer tells Hurley his plan. They’re gonna leave via Widmore’s sub. He says Sayid ain’t coming ’cause his ass is all evil now.

Jack, Evil Locke, and Claire return. Hurley lies and tells Claire she looks great.

In Los Angeles, Sawyer questions Kate at the police station. He reads the list of crimes she’s wanted for and observes that she doesn’t look like a murderer. Kate says she’s not. At this point, in this alternate reality, they’ve never said what she has done or if she is really guilty. Kate figures out that Sawyer didn’t turn her in when he saw her in handcuffs at the airport because he didn’t want anyone to know he was in Australia.

Miles calls Sawyer over to investigate the shooting at the restaurant.They got Sayid on surveillance video and want to find him.

On the island, Kate tells Jack that Sayid is different now. Jack says they’re all different. This would be the perfect time for Kate to be like, “No, this mofo is REALLY different. Like, slashing people’s throats and almost let Claire slash my throat, different!” But she doesn’t say anything cause she’s whack.

Tina Fey (Widmore’s girl) shows up at the camp and says that Evil Locke took something from them and they want it back. He has until nightfall or else Widmore will rain down holy hellfire on their asses. No, really, he can totally send over fire bombs and shit. She leaves Evil Locke with a walkie-talkie, which Locke smashes.

“Oh, well. Here we go.”

For some reason, this makes Jack (my son) laugh his ass off.

In Los Angeles, Desmond approaches Claire in the lobby of the adoption agency. She remembers him from the airport. He tells her he’s seeing a lawyer in the same building and suggests that she go see this lawyer to have some help with the adoption negotiations. He convinces Claire to go see the lawyer because although the whole situation is uber creepy, Desmond is hot and has an accent.

The lawyer is Ilana and  turns out she was looking for Claire already! And if I’m not mistaken,Ilana no longer has an accent.

On the island, Evil Locke informs the group that Widmore is lying about him stealing something. He says they’re gonna go to the other island and get on the plane. He instructs Sawyer to go get the boat (Desmond’s boat) and pulls Sayid aside.

Sawyer snatches up Jack and tells him to break off from Evil Locke’s group as soon as he can and meet them at the boat. He tells him to bring only Sun, Lapidis, and Hurley. Everyone else can get bent and that includes Sayid and Claire’s crazy ass. Sawyer and Kate head off.

Evil Locke instructs Sayid to go and kill Desmond. Sayid is all, “Aight.”

Sayid approaches the well and finds Desmond all jacked up at the bottom of it. Desmond wants to know what Evil Locke offered Sayid. He says he owes him at least that information if he’s gonna shoot him in cold blood. Sayid admits that he will get the woman he loves back even though she’s dead. Sayid believes him because he also died, and Evil Locke brought him back (we better get a better explanation that night by the finale! I’m just saying.) Desmond wants to know what he’s going to tell this woman when she asks what he did to have them be together again. Sayid has no answer.

In Los Angeles, Nadia tries to stall Miles so that Sayid can make a run for it, but Sawyer (literally) trips Sayid up in the back yard and arrests him.

On the island, Sawyer tells Kate the plan and she’s upset that Claire isn’t invited. Sawyer is all, “That bitch is crazy.” Claire still looks skeptical even though four epis ago, Claire tried to kill her. Dumbass.

Claire admits to Jack that she trusts Evil Locke because he’s the only person that didn’t abandon her. Evil Locke notices that Sayid hasn’t caught up to them yet and asks Sun if she has seen him. Sun doesn’t answer because her English went bye-bye. Evil Locke is all, “Oh, that’s mature.” She writes him a note that he did it and he’s like, “Girl, I ain’t do shit to you.” Evil Locke says he’s gonna go back and make sure no one got left behind. Jack takes that opportunity to grab Sun, Lapidis, and Hurley and haul ass. Crazy Claire notices and follows.

Evil Locke finds Sayid and asks if he killed Desmond. Sayid said that he did. He’s clearly lying, but either Evil Locke believes him or doesn’t care.

As everyone is about to get on the boat, Crazy Claire shows up with a gun. Kate tells Claire that she can come too if she puts down the gun. Sawyer is all, “Bitch, is you crazy?” Claire seems to return to her old self and hands over the gun, but quickly goes back to Crazy Town when she eerily predicts that Evil Locke will be mad when he finds out they’re gone.

In Los Angeles, Jack and his son David show up at the lawyer’s office for the reading of Christian’s will. The lawyer is Ilana and she surprises Jack by introducing him to Claire. Claire tells Jack that she’s his sister. Before he can react too much, Jack receives a call. He is needed at the hospital.

On the boat, Jack tells Sawyer that leaving the island doesn’t feel right. Sawyer is all, “If you’re gonna keep up that crazy talk, you can get the hell off my boat.” So, Jack jumps off the boat. Kate loses her shit and says they have to go back for him. Sawyer says, “We’re done going back.”

And I have a feeling that may be the last time those characters see the main island they crashed on.

In Los Angeles, Sun wakes up in the hospital and finds out that the baby is okay. Jack prepares to operate on Locke. He is all super duper surgeon badass after looking at Locke’s x-rays. “I got this, bitches.” (OK, I added the bitches part.) Before he cuts, he realizes that he knows Locke.

On the island, Jack swims ashore and runs into Evil Locke and his band of merry crazymen. Evil Locke surmises that Sawyer took his boat.

As Sawyer and crew arrive on Hydra island, Tina Fey and crew show up and demand they put their hands up. Only Kate doesn’t listen at first. Tina Fey calls the base and tells someone to turn the fences off.

Sun sees Jin for the first time in three years. They run towards each other and I’m like, “I really hope they turned those fences off.” Sun’s English returns as she tells Jin that she loves him and never stopped looking for him. Everyone is all, “Aw, shucks,” except Sawyer who is suddenly very interested in his shoes and Claire who just looks crazier.

Tina Fey gets instructions from Widmore and she and company pull their guns on Sawyer and the rest. She tells someone on the walkie they can fire when ready on Evil Locke. On the other beach, Jack hears the holy hellfire coming and orders everyone to get down, which they do… except Evil Locke cause he’s badass like that. Jack is knocked back and Evil Locke carries him to safety.

“Jack? You alright? Don’t worry. It’s gonna be okay. You’re with me now.”

Ruh-roh.

Lost Recaps Season 6, Episodes 3 – 5

Previously on Lost…

Episode 1, “LAX Part 1 and 2”

Episode 2, “What Kate Does”

Episode 3 “The Substitute” -

In Los Angeles, Locke gets fired from his job for lying about why he went to Australia. He ends up getting a job as a substitute teacher in a school where Ben Linus works.

On the island, Evil Locke tries to get Richard to join him and Richard refuses. Ben lies to Ilana and tells her that the smoke monster also killed Jacob. Ilana gathers some of Jacob’s ashes. Evil Locke approaches Sawyer who is still grieving for Juliet. He convinces Sawyer to join him because 1. he has the answers and 2. he can get Sawyer off the island. Sawyer follows E.L. to a cave on the side of a cliff and E.L shows him a wall of names and numbers.

Things of Note:

• In the alternate reality, Locke apparently has a relationship with his father as his fiance suggests inviting him if they elope.
• Evil Locke is spooked by visions of a young boy with bloody hands.
• Richard knew nothing about the candidates, of which John Locke was one.
• In Los Angeles, Hurley is a lucky-ass, rich, successful business man. He gives Locke a job because he owns a temporary agency. I LOVE alternate reality Hurley!
• Ilana, Lapidus, Sun and Ben bury Locke’s body and Ben admits that he killed Locke. “John Locke was a believer. A man of faith. A much better man than I will ever be and I’m sorry I murdered him.”

• Sawyer can see the mysterious kid who warned Evil Locke to remember “the rules” and that he can’t kill Sawyer (another candidate.)
• Rose works at Hurley’s agency and gives Locke a job. She still has terminal cancer.
• When Sawyer almost falls off the cliff, Evil Locke goes out of his way to make sure he doesn’t die. Either because he really needs Sawyer or because he truly doesn’t want to break the rules… or both.
• So far, the only explanation we’ve gotten for the numbers is, “Jacob had a thing for numbers.”
• When Evil Locke shows Sawyer the names that aren’t crossed off, Kate isn’t mentioned. He says, “Last, but not least…” before getting to Sawyer’s name. Kwon is listed, but Evil Locke doesn’t know if it’s Sun or Jin who is the candidate.
• Evil Locke takes a white rock from a scale and tosses it into the ocean. He calls it an inside joke. We later see Richard deliver the rock to The Man in Black for Jacob in Ab Aeterno.

Episode 4 “The Lighthouse” -

In Los Angeles, Jack has a son that he doesn’t really connect with. They come together in the end when Jack realizes that his son is an accomplished musician.

On the island, Jacob approaches Hurley and asks for his help. Someone is coming to the island (Widmore?) and Jacob wants Hurley to help them get there. Crazy Claire rescues Jin. She thinks the people at the temple have her baby and she’s gonna go all Rambo on their asses. Jin tells Claire that Kate took her baby and has been raising him off of the island. Claire kills one of the Others from the temple, and realizing that Claire is crazy as pelican shit, Jin recants his story. He tells Claire that the baby is at the temple and they should go there together.

Hurley convinces Jack to go with him on Jacob’s mission. They find a lighthouse with mirrors and a dial that has all of their names with numbers on it. When Jack instructs Hurley to turn the dial to the point that corresponds with his name, he sees his childhood home. He realizes that Jacob has been watching him his whole life. Jack gets pissed and breaks the mirror.

Jacob appears to Hurley who realizes that it was Jacob’s plan all along to get Jack there so that Jack would realize he has a purpose. He also tells Hurley that something bad is about to happen at the temple.

Jin is surprised when John shows up at Claire’s camp, only Claire calls him “her friend.”

Things of Note:

• Alternate reality Jack doesn’t remember having his appendix taken out as a child.
• When confronted by Dogen, Hurley gets him to back off by telling him he’s a candidate – info given to him by Jacob.
• Jack’s mother is surprised to see Claire Littleton mentioned in his father’s will.
• Jack and Hurley find the caves where they used to live, Shannon’s inhaler, and the two skeletons with the stones. Jack admits to smashing the coffin because his father’s body wasn’t in it.
• Russeau is one of the crossed out names on the lighthouse dial.

Episode 5 “Sundown” -

In Los Angeles, Sayid’s love, Nadia, is married to his brother. Uncle Sayid shows up and there’s tension. The brother realizes Sayid is in love with his wife and uses that to try and get Sayid to help him with some guys he owes money to. Sayid doesn’t want to intervene, but is forced to once the bad guys rough up his brother looking for payment. Sayid kills the bad guys and discovers that they had Jin locked up.

On the island, Dogen tells Sayid that the machine they used on Sayid shows the balance between good and evil in people. Sayid tipped it the wrong way. They had a knock-down drag-out badass fight. Dogen stops short of killing Sayid when he sees a baseball hit the floor. He instructs Sayid to leave and never come back.

Evil Locke sends Claire into the temple to deliver a message. E.L. wants to talk. Dogen ain’t no dummy and knows that if he steps foot outside the temple, E.L. will kill him. He sends Sayid instead. He gives Sayid a knife and tells him that the man (evil incarnate) will appear to Sayid as someone he knows that’s dead. Sayid is to plunge a knife into his chest. If he allows him to speak, it is already too late. (Same directions given to Richard for Jacob in a later episode.)

Kate returns to the temple and Miles tells her Claire has returned acting crazy, but still hot.

Evil Locke tells Sayid that he wants him to deliver a message and that if he does, he can have anything he ever wanted. When Sayid says that the only thing he ever wanted died in his arms and he’d never see it again, Evil Locke asks him, “What if you could?”

Sayid tells everyone at the temple that Jacob is dead and the man outside is giving everyone till sundown to join him or die. A lot of people leave, including the flight attendant, Cindy and the kids.

Kate talks to Claire and realizes she is coo-coo. Sayid kills Dogen and the interpreter, fully aware that he has just allowed the smoke monster access to the temple.

The smoke monster comes in and kills a bunch of people. Miles and Kate get separated when she decides to get Claire. Ilana, Lapidus, and Ben show up looking for the candidates. Ben offers to fetch Sayid, but changes his mind when he realizes Sayid done gone Iraqi Boy Crazy. Jin is surprised to learn that Jin was there, but took off the day before.

In one of my favorite Lost moments EVER, Sayid, Kate, and Claire walk out (in slow mo) to meet Evil Locke and his followers. E.L. doesn’t look too happy to see Kate.

Things Of Note:

• Evil Locke already suspected that Dogen had someone try to kill Sayid. He would have to know that Sayid is infected then. And for that, that means that he either had something to do with it or could tell from the moment he saw Sayid. THEN, for him to know that Dogen tried to have someone (Jack) kill Sayid, that makes me wonder if neither side can kill a candidate.
• The main bad guy in Los Angeles (that Sayid kills) is the main mercenary sent to the island by Widmore in season 4.

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