TCTBTF: Day 449

Read about my first foray into the wild here.

My neck! My back! My neck and my back! And by neck I mean, knee. By back I mean, knee.

My left knee has been bothering me for awhile now. Like, well over a year. Not all the time, but when it does, it’s a bitch. It really started up again a few weeks ago when I started playing Dance Central like it’s my job. I always figured that it’s due to carrying around the most weight I’ve ever held in my life. I’m pulling more weight than Beyonce when she was in Destiny’s Child.

So there’s this vicious cycle: how can I exercise and lose weight if my knee hurts, but my knee hurts due to weight gain? I’ve decided to work through the pain. I’ve birthed two babies. I watched Nip/Tuck through that final death rattle of a season. I know pain, people. I know pain. I’m gonna walk and run when I can and after losing a good 10-15lbs, we’ll see if there’s still a knee problem.

On my first day, I walked/ran the trail for 15 minutes and then turned around and did the same thing in reverse. I decided to add five minutes going in on my second evening. I got to the park, parked, and this time I didn’t have time to do my stupid stretch thing cause just as I was tying my hair in a ponytail, a little dog ran up to me.

“Where did you come from?”

*blank stare*

I ask some of the boys on the skate ramps, “Is this your dog?” No. I ask a man in a parked car next to mine. No. Right before I noticed him, a woman in a minivan dropped off some boys headed for the basketball courts. I wondered if the little dog had escaped from the van and she hadn’t noticed.

I start walking to the trail and the dog follows. For real, doggie?

“You need to go away. But stay out of the parking lot. I don’t like dogs, I don’t want you to get hit.”

*blank stare*

 

He still follows me. I run for a bit, then I guess he realized I’m an amateur runner cause he kind of trots ahead of me and hooks a right when I’m headed left. I throw up deuces and make this video:

 

 

Running Day 2

I made my way along the trail, walking more than running, annoyed that this Asian lady hair is so damn silky no scrunchie can contain it. Every time a man passed me going in the opposite direction, I smiled politely, but turned around to watch him go and make sure he didn’t double back and push me into the woods to have his way with me. This huge black guy jogs by me and when I turn my head to make sure his ass is going about his business, there’s a white guy running up on me going in my direction. It scared me so badly my heart dropped and I raised up my water bottle like I was going to brain him with it. He gave me a, “What the fuck is wrong with you” look and jogged around me.

After 20 minutes, I turned around and retraced my steps. I once again pass a gaggle of kids practicing softball. A Dad checks me out and damn near breaks his neck to watch me pass. I wish I could say I felt sexy and gave him something to really look at, but it was right around that time that I started feeling queasy and hot. I was pretty sure I’d just swallowed some bugs and I wanted to sit down on the path and cry. Or faint. Or die.

But I kept going cause, well, I had no fucking choice. I had to make it back to my car and while there are trash cans and emergency phones along the trail, there’s no “Pussy Can’t Hang” pick up service to drive your lazy ass back to your car.

About ten minutes from the end of the trail I realize it’s getting dark. I start to panic a little cause black folks in the woods in the dark don’t usually fair so well. If I’m gonna add more time to my workout, I should at least start earlier to make sure I’m not 15-20 minutes away when it gets dark. That would really suck. I post this on my Facebook wall as I walk super fast.

Then I realize that it’s not getting as dark as I thought. I was still wearing my sunglasses.

 

 

This time, I was a tad more coordinated when I exited the woods. I wasn’t as dizzy or sore as the first time, but I was just as sweaty. (That’s what she said.) I’ll add another five minutes going in -bringing my total workout to 50 minutes total – next time.

Oh, and my knee didn’t hurt.

Track of the Day: A lot of people suggested running music and I did take some of them, but I find that I don’t necessarily want something that’s high energy or fast. I just want something I enjoy listening to – something I would love to dance to because I’m so sexy when I dance, but weight gain has made me dance a lot less. Here’s the track that moved me the most today:

Jenny Wilson \”Like a Fading Rainbow\”

TCTBTF: Day 450

On May 25th, 2012, my ten-year wedding anniversary, Donny and I will renew our wedding vows. Why? Because we do what we want! (Seriously, more details on that in another blog.)

Nothing motivates a woman to get her ass (and everything else) in shape like the threat of looking like a whale in a strapless dress. For that reason alone, I suggest every wife struggling with her weight renew her vows.

For a long time now, I’ve wanted to be a different kind of person – more active, more outdoorsy, someone who actually looks forward to the burn and breaking a sweat. I decided to walk/run. At least three days a week, more if I want to. I’ll walk. I’ll run. I’ll do whatever my body can handle. I’ll take my iPod and a bottle of water and I won’t worry about what I look like. I’ll do just do it.

Wednesday was my first day out.

 

I had a moment of panic when I thought I might have to buy a fanny pack to carry my keys, rape whistle, mace, iPod, cell phone and water. Finally, I decided to just hold my water and stuff everything else in the front pockets of my hoodie.

I drove to the park, parked my car, and thought about stretching. I didn’t know what I was doing and considered putting my leg up on the hood of my SUV like a ballerina at her dance bar, but that just seemed stupid. So I kinda kicked my feet up and down, back to front, cause that seemed less stupid.

Following the Couch to 5K model, I walked briskly for five minutes and then did the whole walk for a few seconds and then run for a few seconds and alternate that for 20 minutes. I wasn’t able to do it for too long because my left knee is shot to shit. I’m pretty sure it’s due to either the weight gain or fucking around with that damn Dance Central. Or maybe both.

I went 15 minutes in and then turned around. I think my neck got more of a workout than anything else. I kept whipping my head around looking for rapists and wild animals. So what it’s a public park; you never know!

I exited the trail the same place I came in – between the skate ramps and basketball court. Except leaving I was a little less coordinated than I was going in. My legs were sore, I was hot and sweaty, there was a sway to my walk. I was exhausted.

It kind of looked like the opening to a Law and Order episode. You know, the park is full of families having a good time when suddenly, from the bushes, a woman stumbles out beaten, bruised, disheveled. A little girl screams. We have just met the rape victim.

I didn’t scare anyone, thankfully. I just quickly staggered to my car and gulped some water.

 

TCTBTF: Week 1 Goals

How’d you do on your first Too Cute To Be This Fat goal?

Remember, mine was to eliminate all soda for a week. I slipped up twice. Once, we got some Italian take-out and I instinctively ordered a Sprite. Don’t you hate it when you slip up on your diet and it’s not even worth it. I was halfway done with the Sprite when I realized that 1. I was drinking something I had no business drinking and 2. it tasted like ass. Then, later in the week Kali asked if I would buy some Apple Fanta because she’d never heard of apple soda. Neither had I, so I did and I tried one. It was like fizzy apple juice.

I’ve lost 3lbs this week just by cutting out down on soda. This week my goal is to continue with the no soda and only water challenge and incorporate a no fast food challenge.

I’m about to head to the market and do my grocery shopping for the week. I’ve made a dinner menu and everything.

Chicken Tacos

Fish Tacos

Southwestern Cilantro Lime Mango Grilled Chicken Sandwiches

Chili

Sage Pork Chops w/ Parmesan Rice

And one night we’re going out to dinner for an assignment I have.

So, how’d you do this week? What will your week 2 goal be?

P.S. Need some extra motivation? Try going in your closet and looking at all the cute clothes you can no longer wear. That’ll set your ass straight real quick.

TCTBTF: This Is The Remix

OK. I’m not playing. You people better help me. You better be involved and accountable. I want tips, recipes, and motivational tools. I want participation! If you guys slack on me, I will never, ever, ever, speak to you again. I mean it!

The first order of business is to vote on whether or not we’re gonna be disclosing sizes and weights. I’m torn. On the one hand, I think it might prove to be helpful if we’re open and honest (at the very least it will shame us into action) about our numbers. On the other hand, who the hell wants the whole internet knowing what a fatty they are? I sure don’t. Also, the numbers may prove to be a distraction in the beginning.

Here’s my vote: I think everyone should mark their weight, measurements and garmet sizes down starting Sunday morning. For the first few weeks, let’s just focus on changing habits one at a time. For the first month, each week, we’ll set a goal and incorporate it into our lifestyles. Like, your first week you may decide to concentrate on cutting out soda. Week two you may decide to incorporate a walk every day. Week three? Cutting your carbs.

Each Sunday we can share how we did meeting that goal and announce our new one. We won’t be replacing the goals, but adding them. After two weeks you’ll have made two changes, three changes after three weeks, etc. Also, everyone will be responsible for sharing one tip, piece of encouragement OR healthy recipe each week.

We’ll begin this Sunday, November 1st. So eat all the halloween candy you’re gonna the night before. Also, if you’re like us and do your grocery shopping on the weekend, you can do your shopping for the first week on Saturday so you’ll wake up with the right ingredients in your house on Sunday and not be tempted to hit up IHOP or Dunkin’ Donuts.

That said, we will not berate each other for slip-ups and since we’re taking it slow (remember, you didn’t gain the weight in a week so you won’t lose it in one week either) you should make your goals realistic. If your first week’s goal is just to take a walk everyday, so be it. Don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day. You took more walks than you did last week.

Hmm, my first week’s goal will be… no soda. At all. I’m a soda fiend and I need to stop. And not just no soda, but I need to drink more water. In addition, I’m going to incorporate my normal changes when I get serious: limit carbs, sugar, fried foods, more fish and veggies, etc., but my main goal for the week is to eliminate the soda.

What about you? What’s your week one goal?

If you follow me on Twitter, feel free to tweet during the week if you need a motivational push or just to vent on how its going.  I’m neenerspb. Leave your Twitter name here so we can all follow you and let’s make sure to hashtag all of our tweets with #TCTBTF

TCTBTF: Week 14 – Healthy Breakfast and Hoop Dancing

I have been so good this week! Let’s see:

1. I removed the skin from the fried chicken Donny bought before eating it.

2. I had two big bowls of grilled chicken salad while everyone else had Wendy’s.

3. When I realized that I left for class last night w/o my dinner (salad), I didn’t stop at fast food. I did; however, get a yogurt parfait from Starbucks.

4. I’ve worked out every day this week. Yoga, step aerobics, light boxing, and crunches up the butt. Well, not up the butt literally.

I’m down….. *drum roll, please*… THREE POUNDS this week. As my white friends say, “Woot!”

That’s -10lbs in 14 weeks. I’m over thinking about how much more that would be if I were on track the whole time. It is what it is.

My dedication to working out is thanks to www.socialworkout.com which I talked about last week, but more on that in a bit.

Today I want to talk about breakfast, my favorite meal of the day. In fact, we probably have brinner (breakfast for dinner) once a month at our house. It’s also usually a good indication of the kind of day I’m gonna have. When I have a good breakfast it keeps me from being so hungry by lunchtime that I have no patience or will power to make good decisions. (Lunch is usually my worst meal of the day.) What I love about breakfast when eating healthy is that there are so many good things you can eat, and lots of it!

Some of my favorite breakfast items/combos are:

1. Whole wheat toast w/ ICBINB, scrambled egg whites, juice, yogurt.

2. Fruit, multi-grain Cheerios, tbs of peanut butter

3. 1 cup of oatmeal with a  little sugar and butter.

What are some of your healthy breakfast ideas?

I mentioned last week that I’m doing this April Workout Challenge at Social Workout. You have to work out 26 days in April. I’ve decided I’m only resting on Sundays. So far, so good. I really love reading the blogs of the other people taking the challenge. I’ve found lots of interesting and motivating information.

This one girl mentioned hoop dancing in her post, and when I asked her what it was, she linked a few of her performances. I want to share one with you now. Unfortunately, she hasn’t been on since sharing the links so she hasn’t seen my request for an interview. If she does, and agrees, maybe I’ll feature that in an upcoming TCTBTF blog.

She’s so great. Her name is mARTa. Ladies, doesn’t that motivate you to keep at the crunches and keep the fatty foods to a minimum? It does for me.

TCTBTF: Week 13

Thanks to Emily, I’ve taken the SocialWorkout.com April Workout Challenge. I don’t know if that’s the official title, but it pretty much works like this:

Get off your lazy booty and work out for 26 days in April. I’ve been keeping a workout journal at the site which I’ll also share here. It’s been fun reading everyone else’s entries for the past three days. If you sign up, let me know your name over there.

Here’s my entry from last night, April 2nd:

Sore. In That Good Way.

I prefer to work out in the morning, but when you’re up throughout the night with a newborn, you sleep in if he lets you. Today I had so much running around to do, and I was bummed to realized that I wouldn’t have time to workout until after class (9pm.)

Working out in the morning means that I’ll make better food choices during the day. Where some may think that working out early allows them to “cheat” or “treat themselves” to temptation foods, I look at it as wasting hard work already put in.

On the flip side, if I know I’m gonna work out later in the evening, I may be tempted to eat poorly during the day, pledging to “work it off” later. Rarely happens!

Thankfully, I was good today. My only splurge was a caramel macchiatto – needed to keep me up in class this evening. When I got home, I did 30 minutes of aerobics, 25 minutes on the elliptical, and 100 crunches.

I’m now sore. In that good way.

G’nite

This morning I weighed myself and I’m down 3lbs! That brings my 13 week total to -7. I’m kicking myself for slacking off for four weeks. Can you imagine how much weight I’d have lost by now if I hadn’t fallen off the wagon? Also, down three pounds this week and I only worked out 3 days, had Starbucks three times, AND McDonald’s. Yeah, I will be on fire when I TOTALLY behave.

Last night my Mom packed a bag for me to take to class. A large Rubbermaid container with a salad; lettuce, cucumbers, and shredded carrots which adds a sweetness, I think, bottled water, and a plum.

When I got home, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to work out when Donny and my Mom told me that Jack pretty much cried the whole time I was gone. He’d had immunization shots earlier in the day so he was super cranky and I think his legs were stiff and sore from where he’d received the shots. Poor baby.

Surprisingly, he fell alseep easily (with his face pressed against mine, oddly enough) and after Donny took him up to bed, I was able to get the workout in mentioned above.

This morning I did about 20 minutes of step aerobics and some light boxing. I had to stop because Jack decided he didn’t want to watch anymore, and would rather participate. And by participate I mean, “sit on my feet.”

I’ll get on the elliptical this afternoon and do some yoga for about an hour. Then it’s 100 crunches before bed.

Next week, my TCTBTF blog will be dedicated to my favorite meal; breakfast!

How was your week?

3 down, 23 to go, Emily!

This is the pic at SocialWorkout.com that motivates the hell outta me!

TCTBTF: Week 12

People often comment, “I don’t know how you do it all!”

I multi-task like a mofo. If I didn’t, I’d go insane. I am incapable of doing just one thing. If I’m studying or doing homework, I’m also watching shows off the TiVO. If I’m going to the bathroom, I’m also reading or on the laptop tweeting and blogging. If I’m playing a video game with Donny, I will stop to read a book when new scenes are “loading.” Even when I’m falling asleep, I’m writing. I’m thinking about the next chapter of my book, or my next blog, of a school project. For someone so lazy, I honestly can’t sit and do nothing.

For the past 12 weeks I’ve made changes to my eating habits, fallen off the wagon, and climbed back on again. I’d yet to make a committment to working out though. My excuse had been, “I’m too busy.” And I am! Between Jack, Kali, schoolwork, the site, and my book, I’m swamped. I couldn’t figure out a way to work out and get other things done. The thought of sweating away on the elliptical and just… well, sweating away on the elliptical seemed boring and a waste of time.

Until last night…

I came home from class, nursed the baby, and changed into work-out clothes. I got on the elliptical and while I worked out…. I played the X-BOX. I know, I know! But it worked! The time flew. I’d been saying for months now that I wish I had freetime to play video games like I used to. Well, now I have a way to get my gaming on and do something worthwhile.

Last night it was Uno Rush. I don’t think I can handle anything as involved as sniping people in the head in Halo 3. I’ll just stick to card games for now.

Breakfast today: Yogurt and cranberry juce. After I post this I’m gonna make some egg whites, whole wheat toast, with a tbs of peanut butter and more juice. Dinner will be pasta with meat sauce and a green salad.

I’m down 2lbs this week. Bringing my 12 week total to …. -4. I’m getting back on track, folks. And when Donny gets home and takes Jack, my Mom and I will do the Wii Fit.

How have you been?

TCTBTF: Week 11

I’ve gained one pound. This puts my 11 week total at -2. I suck monkey balls.

I had two fuck-ups this week. I ate a piece of cheesecake and I was molested by the golden arches.

Fucking golden arches.

I’m going to Dick’s Sporting Goods later today for a jump rope. My mom likes walking the subdivision, I HATE walking the subdivision. I like going with a purpose and just walking around cul-de-sacs seems pointless to me.

I know the point is to lose weight. Shut up.

One bad meal, one slice of cheesecake, and no working out = +lb.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Are you enjoying this? Do you enjoy to read about my failure? Does this help you? If it helps you, I suppose I’ll continue. I mean, everything can’t be about me all the time, right?

TCTBTF Week 10: Saboteurs!

After four weeks of very bad behavior (McDonalds, banana pudding, and cookies, oh my!) I am getting back on the wagon. Being overwhelmed with school and Jack are no excuse.

Despite my mother’s and Donny’s (who knew he was a chubby chaser?) actions to sabotage my efforts, not to mention my own weakness, I will be weighing in tomorrow to survey the four-week damage.

No matter what the numbers are, I’m prepared to take action.

1. I’ve planned my menu for next week and will be going out for the ingredients tomorrow morning.

2. My Mom works out before I wake up. She will hold on to Jack from 9am-10am every morning so I can work out.

I tease my mother because as I watched her unpack the other day, I noticed every weight loss apparatus sold on television. There were belts, balls, straps, and ropes.

“The next time you want to piss away some money, just give it to me.”

Yesterday, she said..

“I think I’m gonna hook up my VCR tomorrow.”

“Who still uses a VCR?”

“I do.”

“Why?”

“For my Tae-Bo tapes.”

Jesus.

Because so many have asked, and since I won’t be using it anytime soon… the banana pudding recipe my mom has made twice since she’s been here.

Warning: It’s so good it will make you want to smack yo’ mama, and then my mama for all the calories, then Paula Dean ’cause that’s who she got it from. I include this for all my non-dieting peeps a.k.a. the skinny bitches.

• 2 bags Pepperidge Farm Chessmen cookies
• 6 to 8 bananas, sliced
• 2 cups milk
• 1 (5-ounce) box instant French vanilla pudding
• 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 (12-ounce) container frozen whipped topping thawed, or equal amount sweetened whipped cream

Directions

Line the bottom of a 13 by 9 by 2-inch dish with 1 bag of cookies and layer bananas on top.

In a bowl, combine the milk and pudding mix and blend well using a handheld electric mixer. Using another bowl, combine the cream cheese and condensed milk together and mix until smooth. Fold the whipped topping into the cream cheese mixture. Add the cream cheese mixture to the pudding mixture and stir until well blended. Pour the mixture over the cookies and bananas and cover with the remaining cookies. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Diet challenge: Major props to the first person that can low-fat that baby down.

So, here I go again, and wish me luck!

How have your efforts gone?

TCTBTF: Week 6 and some other stuff!

I have found the best.diet.ever.

The flu!

Jack and I have spent the whole week fighting a cold and as a result, I’m down another 3lbs! This is awesome. Well, not really.

It’s been slow going, but I haven’t given up hope. And as usual, imagine how much weight I’d lose if I actually put my ass in motion.

The cauliflower mashed “taters” were a no-go because it gives the baby gas. So, boo on that. Also, I think I’ve given up on peanut butter.

So, let’s move on to other stuff since I’m sick and it’s my blog and I can talk about what I want.

I’m addicted to Twitter. Really, I am. I tweet all day with people I just met. Twit this, twat that… Wait. If you’re on there, follow me and I’ll follow you. I’ll occasionally post things there that you won’t find here. I’m Neenerspb.

Also, starting today, my Friday entertainment blog will be a Survivor recap and on Mondays there will be two entertainment blogs; The L Word recap and The Amazing Race recap. The L Word will end before TAR so eventually it will even out again. I’ll update the BIOB Posting Schedule.

So, what do you want to talk about?

P.S. I’m so excited about tonight’s BSG I can barely frakking stand it!

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