You’re Annoying # 1
January 5, 2011 by nina
Filed under Blog It Out, Bitch
I hate when people without kids question my decision not to answer the phone while Jack is taking a nap. I don’t question why they don’t answer the phone when they’re taking a shit, in the shower, having sex, watching a movie, etc. So, back the hell off.
These people can’t handle the truth.
“Why didn’t you answer the phone earlier?”
“Jack was napping.”
“So.”
They can’t handle lies either.
“I didn’t hear it.”
“How could you not hear your phone? Where was it?”
Seriously?
That hour and a half that he naps is my time to do something besides talk to you. Like, my fucking job, for instance. There’s nothing you have to say at 1pm on a Tuesday that is so damn important that it can’t wait till 2:30pm. Because, I would like to point out, not one of those missed calls was to inform me that someone had died. At least not someone I cared about.
I don’t need you giving me alternatives either.
“Why do you have the ringer on if he’s sleeping?”
“Because, nosy ass, the ringer is on low and that won’t wake him up. But me blabbering with you might. Also, I have another small human out there in the world that I’m responsible for and if her school calls to say she just threw up in gym, I might want to get that call. That is worth the risk of waking my child, but talking to you is not. And why not just tell me what the hell you wanted now, instead of wasting three minutes of my time questioning me about earlier?”
People without kids always feel the need to mention the sacrifices parents make when they have kids as if we suddenly become walking shells of our former selves with no social or sex life to speak of. We are perpetually broke and miserable. Um. No, we’re not. Some of us are happy and extra happy when we’re together. This is why I also don’t answer the phone after 9pm. That’s family time and I don’t want to squander it talking to you. Sorry, I just don’t.
I would never, ever, ever, have the audacity to question why someone chooses not to answer their phone. But you can chalk that up as another thing non-parents feel completely comfortable judging parents on, in an incredulous voice, as if ensuring that our children get uninterrupted sleep is wrong. Screw you.
The best revenge will be to wait until they are parents and do it to them. Oh, your kid is sleeping? Sorry, I’ll talk to you later. Then I’ll make note in my planner and make that shit recurring.
12pm – Asshole’s Kid Naps (Mon-Fri)
Then I will call consistently to interrupt whatever it is you save for when your kid naps – your shower time, get housework done time, sex time, fart in peace without hearing a toddler say, “Ew, Mommy you tooted!” time, lunch time, work time, etc.
And when you try to be nice and tell me that your kid is sleeping in that deep whisper you hope conveys what a pain in the ass the call is, I will say insensitive, audacious, rude, things like:
“Well, why don’t you move him to another room?” or
“Still? He still sleeping? Damn, how long is he gonna sleep?”
When you finally stop answering because you’re sick of my rude ass mouth, when I finally DO catch you on the phone, I will say things like,
“You need to train him to sleep through noise.” or
“I’m sick of him always sleeping when I call.”
Um, he was sleeping BEFORE you called, fucker.
Nina is a 34-year-old mother, wife and writer who spends her days blogging, studying, changing diapers and watching ridiculous amounts of TV. She currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia, with her husband, two children and three TiVos.
Oooooh I hate when people get up one their high horse about me not answering the damn phone. Some fun facts:
1. I hate the phone
2. I have to answer the phone at work, so I'm probably not going to answer at home, even if you are my grandmother or my best friend.
3. I don't have anything new to tell you
4. I know I never call you, either. See number 3.
5. I'm an introvert, so when I'm home I'm "recharging"
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LikeAside from my mom, no one ever calls me, and when they do, I don't answer whether I have a toddler sleeping or not. I got shit to do and none of it involves wanting to chit chat on the phone. This is why I'm not friends with the type of people who like to call me all the time. My peeps aren't down with phone calls. Anything that needs to be said, can be texted or IM or posted on Facebook. People need to get with the times!!
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Like“You need to train him to sleep through noise.”
Good one. My mom actually says this to me when I 'shush' her. She talks SO LOUD and when I remind her that Milo is sleeping, she says that. What I hear is, I don't give a damn if he wakes up or has sleeping issues. I want to talk whenever and where ever I want and in any volume I desire."
Along with childless people, old people completely forget what it was like. What memories they have left are all distorted. They can be just as annoying.
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LikeOld people didn't have phones and people had manners back then.
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LikeI don't call people with kids. I text, email, let them call me or if I really want to hear their voice because I miss them, I'll call on their work phone.
Can't get mad at someone with a napping baby who isn't answering the phone.
I get more irritated when my one gf calls me on her kids are screaming bloody murder in the background. I then politely excuse myself and get off the phone.
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LikeI prefer to answer the phone and then tell them I'm too busy to talk to them. I have no problem hanging up on people either, so the convo. would be short. But I have no problem with people calling me. Sometimes I just randomly don't answer the phone though, to keep people guessing.
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LikeAre people really THAT rude?! No wonder you're annoyed. I would be too. Some people have the cheek of the devil. Your time is your time and no fucker gets to dictate that.
I'm pregnant with my first and I'd be damn annoyed if someone called me when he/she was asleep too!
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LikeFuck that. I don't have kids, and I don't answer the fucking phone.....EVER. My mom knows this. My husband knows this. My BFF knows this. Most the time, the phone is on silent....BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I LIKE IT.
This is not about parents vs. non-parents. This is about nosy fuckers. Who are these fucking people with the 20 questions? And, why haven't they been culled yet?
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LikeBWAHAHAHA!! That's me too.
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LikeOh man... I so agree with you. While all of my kids are in school this year, I still work from home. I will be on the phone on my computer (softphone), and my sister will call my cell. If I don't answer, she will call my house phone... then try my cell again. Then start texting.
Now... if I don't answer, she will come over.. .start ringing my doorbell--my dogs start going apeshit, and I'm all red-faced apologizing to my boss who I've been on conference with for the past half an hour.
Man... now I'm exhausted... taking a nap. Don't call me ;-)
~2
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LikeWhat did they want anyway?
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LikeNot only is it an individual choice when to answer the phone, but also when to answer the door. Just because I happen to be home when you knock out of the blue doesn't mean I have to drop everything to open the door for you and deal with your shit. And I shouldn't have to hide and pretend I'm not home either - just not answering. Some people get really irked by this and go around banging at the back door and peering through random windows. Honestly that is so uncool.
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LikeI am SO with you! We living in an apartment building... my husband is the president of the coop board so people come knocking to complain to him during the day even though they KNOW he's not home. I know they aren't knocking to talk to me so I don't answer. It pisses my husband off to NO end. Our superintendent comes by just to say hi all the damn time too but you know what, I'm in my underwear and I'm not about to run to put pants on just to have a little chit-chat. I figured he would get the hint eventually but he's still knocking... it's been 3 years. Irritating, nosy motherfuckers.
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LikeAwwww, I've missed your blogs!
This crap didn't happen before cell phones, cordless phones and answer machines. If you called somebody and they didn't answer, you assumed they were busy or weren't home. And you called back later without an attitude.
Nothing pisses me off more than people who refuse to leave a message and keep calling like they're going to MAKE me answer. Newsflash, that just makes me ignore you all the more. And caller id is a godsend. If I don't recognize the name or number, you're not hearing my voice.
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LikeI never answer my phone! Especially if its one of my friends that calls me while her own kids are screaming in the background. Text me if you want to reach me. My family is #1 and texting allows me to respond when its convenient for me. I only have one friend that gives me crap about it and it's whatever. Get mad if you want to but thats on you not me.
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LikeI hate the phone. Half the time I am on it I'm not even paying attention to what is being said. I do monitor my calls, if I don't know the number I don't pick up. If I'm watching TV and you are not my mom, my sister, or my kid's school, I don't pick up. If I'm reading, same thing. I answer for them only because, A. It's my mom. B. My sister doesn't call often. And C. well, those are my babies, and if the school calls, they need something.
Something I hate, people who just stop by. I know I don't work right now, but that does not mean I want unexpected visitors. I may want to spend the day reading, or catching up on my DVR, or maybe I need a nap due to my current medical treatments. Whatever, it's my time, CALL me before you come over, if I answer, lucky you. If not, DO NOT DROP IN. Okay. Rant done.
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LikeI get stuff I google sometimes when I come here (re: above poster). The way some people say "put your kid in the other room" etc, makes me think one of a few things. That the kid is a 100% controlled object (LOL) or that the other person is very self centered (not hard to believe most people are that don't have kids, it's only natural). Honestly to me, it's never a good time to call, that is if you don't mind a kid being right there or bugging me the whole time. Even after the go to bed. I need quiet time then, or I am too exhausted to think or talk.
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Like....and besides, if someone HAD died.... Not much to be done about it anyway! That's my reply when someone says 'what if someone had died'.
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LikeI hate answering the phone in general. Everyone knows (God I sound like Phaedra from HWOA) that when baby sleeps, mom either gets shit done or she's sleep.
So what you didn't answer. You're not obligated, unless Oprah's on the other end.
When I hear the phone ring, sometimes I'll make an effort to look at the caller id and not answer, then sometimes I just like the answering machine do its job.
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Likecouple of things:
1) Why did a Teavana ad show up right under your blog...do they know they are the competition...have they linked into Sitea somehow and are now spying on me? Between this and the repetitive ads for the Coach bad everywhere I am starting to get paranoid
2) I did train Dei to sleep through noise, but that was because I worked during the day and when I got home she went to bed when it was my tv watching time...and i wasnt going to be like my brother and buy wireless headphones ( not that they were an option back then ) to wear at night so that the tv doesnt wake the baby. I used to vacum under her crib and play loud music...that kid can sleep through ANYTHING...in fact if I want her to sleep all i have to do is get on the phone...my voice knocks her out...that and the shear boredom of hearing me talk to people.
3) I dont answer my home phone, ever...its only in the house as a fax line and so I can give it to bill collectors. I monitor the answering machine and if on the rare occasion I hear someone I should talk to I will pick up but otherwise everyone else in my life has my cell phone...which stays on silent ( my bluetooth gives me caller id in my ear ) if i dont want to talk, i ignore the call. If I cant talk I will text the person....or pop chat...there are very few people who I actually talk to on the phone...simply because its too much to be focused on a call...i can multi task if i am typing...but not if I have to actually listen to someone...
fuck em...if they want to talk to you so bad they can wait til you are available!
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LikeI used to think you can "train" a kid to sleep through noise, but I don't think that's true. I think you get what you get. Sometimes you get a heavy sleeper and sometimes you don't. When I was pregnant with Kali everyone gave that same advice. "You better train that baby to sleep through anything. Don't tippy-toe around her." Kali slept through almost anything because she was just a heavy sleeper. I didn't purposely make a lot of noise, but I didn't get ridiculous using headphones either.
Jack is just not the same. When he was a few months old that boy could sleep through us playing Rock Band one day, and wake up at the slightest noise the next. He's still that way. So, as not to waste a nap by trying to train him (cause if while you're training, he's waking up, he's not napping and I'm not getting shit done, that's a waste), I just keep everything moderate. I don't go out of my way to be quiet or noisy. It just boggles my mind that people seem annoyed that I prefer my son to get his full rest.
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LikeI agree. How do you "train" a kid to sleep through noise? Keep making noise and waking them up? I just don't get it. Plus the more deeply a baby sleeps the more prone they are to SIDS, so I don't mind the waking up. My son will sleep through anything, unless I'm trying to be quiet. Go figure!
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LikeI'm saying Amen to all of this... and I don't even have kids!
I have to deal with a similar situation because I work from home. Although my work day is way more relaxed than others that have an office job, that doesn't mean that I want to sit on the phone for hours just because I'm at home and you are bored. I still gots work to do, bitches!
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LikeLOL!
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LikeYeah, don't even get me started on the working from home part.
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LikeExactly. Even if I don't have work to do, it's my choice how I spend my free time, too! It's not my job to amuse you while you fuck around at work. If I feel like talking, I'll talk. If you start with these fucking 200 questions like Nina gets.... well, fuck off.
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LikeI have actually gotten whiny "Are you screening?" messages. Yes, needy, entitled person. I AM screening. Because of people like you. My real friends know it is much smarter to text or email. I fucking hate the phone.
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LikeI screen every call.
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LikeMe, too, Denise.
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LikeWord.
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LikeSame here. Now it's even worse cause my mom just passed away so everybody and their brother has got to all or come by to check on me because I'm SOOOOOOOO fragle right now. ~RME~
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LikeSorry about ur mom.
I really hate when people call believing that a person is ready to break just cause someone close to them past away. Its like do you really believe that death is only a once in a blue moon occurrence? SMH.
Anyway, my condolences to you and yours.
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LikeSee, I know people that have these convos that DO have kids.
The answer is still the same, "It's my phone, I pay for it, and while I'm at it, I pay for my house and I don't like talking to you while I'm in it."
Some people just don't have manners or etiquette.
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LikeAh, farting in peace time... sign me up!
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Likedamn, i was first!
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