One Closes, Four Open

I am less one friend today.

I take full responsibility for my part even though there are still moments when I find myself wondering how it could have happened. I mean, I’m 35. Shouldn’t we stop losing friends at some point? How junior high to say the words, “I’m not her friend anymore.”

All kinds of relationships are at the mercy of personality drifts. Sometimes you find yourselves going in different directions. Sometimes you find yourselves going in the same direction, but with different ideas on how to end up where you both want to be.

I started to feel like I couldn’t trust things told to me and their life choices were incomprehensible. I began to feel like there was a weird competition going on for the attention and friendship of others. The list goes on. But I didn’t confront it. Later, I told a mutual friend that it’s “the stink breath syndrome.” If you have a friend that you don’t want to be around because their breath stinks, you probably won’t speak up. You’re not trying to hurt the person’s feelings. You just want your space. That is how I felt.

I told my Dad I felt awful about judging. How is it being a friend when you pull away because of someone’s life choices? Shouldn’t a real friend just accept people for who they are? My Dad said, “Friends are the perfect people to judge. There’s nothing wrong with saying, ‘I like you, but you lie. I like you, but you steal. I like you, but your hair is fucked up.’ When you say you’re not gonna judge, what you’re really saying is that you’re willing to lie to yourself about who this person really is.”

I’m not perfect, and I don’t expect perfection. But I need to feel like I’m having an honest friendship. I can’t worry about whether or not what my friends are telling me is the truth. If someone admits to stretching the truth and beating the system in other areas of their life, it’s only natural to question what they tell you.

As Maya Angelou says, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”

I didn’t listen to the opinions or warnings of others. I didn’t take into account that this person had just ended a friendship with a handful of other people. I told myself that that their experience doesn’t have to be mine.

Later, after a falling out with a mutual friend, she deleted me from Facebook. Something I should have done awhile ago, but we were involved in a project together and I didn’t want to make it “weird” for the others involved. As the smoke clears and war stories are compared, I realize that my instincts were right. Lies were told, even about how things ended, but that’s okay.

I said to my mother, “Hell, maybe I have all the friends I’m meant to have.”

And I have great ones: Sophie, Amy, Mike, Bette, Richard, Tara, David, Tobias and those are just the tangible ones that I can see, touch, call, etc. I’ve met some great “virtual” ones, too.

I will not cut myself off though. To do so would be to deny myself the possibility of new friendships and endeavors.

Because of the generosity of my friend Alegra, I am participating in a beautiful anthology that celebrates motherhood and the written word. Milk and Ink: A Mosaic of Motherhood features many of my writer friends (who also happen to be Moms) as well as some lovely writers/poets I’m just getting to know. All proceeds from the book sales will go to support Mama Hope, a charitable organization doing great work for the women and children of Africa.

Recently, I became more involved in getting this book off the ground (it will be available in November of this year), and in doing so strengthened two budding friendships – Jordan and Tomi (pronounced TOMMY) – and solidified another (Alegra). These three ladies have done an excellent job of editing the wonderful pieces submitted to the anthology and are working tirelessly in getting it ready for print.

I’ve been working with my friend and boss, Kevin Palmer, in rebuilding and revamping the website so that it better serves the needs of Milk and Ink. First, it needs to be a place where we can promote the book, but also promote and support a community of writers. Not just mothers who write, but all writers. Finally, once the book is released, we will be transitioning the spirit of Milk and Ink into an online literary magazine.

I was thrilled and honored to be asked to serve as a co-editor with Alegra, Jordan, and Tomi. We have so many exciting things planned. We’ve spent many days juggling our husbands, jobs, homes, and kids only to dive into a massive email/IM creative session in the evenings – tired, but fueled by an excitement for, and faith in, this project.

It’s sad when things come to an end, but I am overjoyed by this new beginning.

It would really mean a lot to me if you could give Milk and Ink a follow on Twitter.

Also, tell your friends. Once the site is up and running, I’ll be promoting it more and asking for further support.

Be Good To Him

When I was pregnant with Jack I would often ask Donny, Kali, and sometimes the universe, “What are we going to do with this little boy?” The thought of having another person in our lives was frightening. The thought of being a mother to a boy after being, I thought, such a girl Mommy – all about mani/pedis, Girl’s Day Out, and teenage vampire flicks – was bizarre.

I wondered how he would fit into our family of three and if we really knew what we were getting ourselves into.

One day, I tossed the question into the air, rubbing my belly and eyeing my swollen feet, and Kali volleyed back the most simplest of answers.

“We’re going to love him, and take care of him, and be good to him.”

That latter stuck with me.

Be good to him.

Loving him would come naturally.

Taking care of him was my responsibility and I’d be held to it by the law if necessary.

But being good to him? It was such an odd thing for a 9-year-old to say. Such a simple answer and simple concept.

When Jack was about a week old I was suffering from excess water retention, in my legs and feet, on my lungs, and apparently on the brain as I was purposely ignoring the medication that would help because it would potentially dry up my breast milk. It was a tough time of very little sleep and patience. Whenever I felt like I was at the end of my rope I would simply hug him, rock him, kiss him and remember, “Be good to him.”

That instruction has remained with me for the past two years as I was reminded how energetic and difficult toddlers can be. It has remained with me as I am introduced to how rambunctious and fearless little boys can be. And it was my mantra last night as I struggled to get Jack to go to sleep when all he wanted to do was jump around and toss toys into the air.

We do not spank. A sharp rap to the hand to stop a bobby pin from finding its way into a light socket is one thing, but we do not hit the bottom, face, or legs with our hands, belts, wooden spoons or other foreign objects. It’s a personal parenting choice that has served us well. That is not to say that I’ve not found myself at the end of my rope. I have. Sometimes I want to tie that rope around my neck and jump! But it’s an effort I choose to make, to discipline from a different place and in a different way.

And it’s easy to do when I just remember those four words. Be good to him.

I said them last night as Jack finally settled down, nursing from one breast with his hand on the other. His eyes were closed and I kissed his brow. He sighed and hummed and gave my breast a quick squeeze. I pulled him closer, still amazed after 11 years of motherhood how perfectly their bodies seem to mold into mine. Like puzzle pieces finding their correct spot, they belong to me and I belong to them.

Jack’s breathing, through his nose, slows and I know that he’s finally asleep. Not enough that I risk removing the breast. I decide to give him a few more minutes, but really they’re for me. I enjoy that internal smell every time he exhales. It has such a boy aroma to it. It’s hard to explain to people what that means. Just like it’s hard to explain that I still stick my face close to his when he yawns to soak up that baby breath. Yes, thankfully, he still has baby breath. I placed my hand on his back and pushed him closer still.

I feel bad that I’d lost my patience a few minutes before. I think about a mother in New Zealand whose baby fights for his life because someone wasn’t good to him. Someone lost their patience or swung too wildly or… God only knows. I think that I am lucky and blessed.

I woke up this morning to an email from my friend Alegra. Her nephew is that baby, and last night he stopped fighting. He is in death as he was in life, a perfect little angel. Donny called me a short while ago asking if I’d seen Alegra’s Facebook status about it and I told him about the email. We spoke for five minutes about how senseless it was. How sad. How painful. When Alegra had first told us what had happened to baby Cezar, Donny and I tried to remember what Jack was like at five months. All we could come up with was beautiful, sweet, and small. So small.

It doesn’t make sense and I’ve had to stop writing this several times – sometimes to cry, sometimes to hug my baby, sometimes to do work and not think about it. But then, of course, I will think about it and I have to write again because it helps get the feelings out. Otherwise, I feel like I’ll choke on them.

Please say a prayer for baby Cezar and his family. And if you have little ones, be good to them. Even if you’re tired and stressed over bills and life in general. Just take a moment. Take a breath. And be good to them.

Adventures in Geocaching

So we mapped a route of caches from our house to my Dad’s. Some were easy to find. Others? Not so much. There was one called “Movie Night” that was hidden around those Red Box movie rental machines. We had to wait forever as muggle after muggle rented movies. We tried standing around like we were waiting our turn to rent something, but it kind of felt like it does when someone stands too close to you at the ATM.

Um, can I help you with something?

We never found the cache. We did rent The Crazies on BluRay for $1.59.

After hanging out at my Dad’s house for awhile we headed home, stopping at a few more caches on the way. Here’s some video from one off a trail in a park.

Tomorrow, I’m going back to that Red Box machine and getting my $1.59 back.

First, Bitches: Geocaching

First, Bitches are a series of blogs about me discovering new things. They may not be new to you.

I recently noticed a friend on Facebook posting pics in an album called, “Geocaching.” I didn’t know what that was, but the pictures were all of rivers and trees so I figured it was a whole lotta something I wouldn’t be interested in. Then she posted more photos last night and my nosy ass decided to google “geocaching.”

I found the main site that describes it as:

Geocaching is a high-tech treasure hunting game played throughout the world by adventure seekers equipped with GPS devices. The basic idea is to locate hidden containers, called geocaches, outdoors and then share your experiences online. Geocaching is enjoyed by people from all age groups, with a strong sense of community and support for the environment.

The word “outdoors” immediately turned me off, but it was surpassed by words like “high-tech,” “treasure hunting,” and “GPS devices.” The competitive, amateur sleuth, with a gadget fetish in me was overjoyed.

I signed up for a free basic membership and read up on different types of caches. I did a search by zip code and was pleased to see that there were pages full of hidden treasures just waiting to be found. I woke Donny up to show him the site. He grumbled, rolled over, and went back to sleep. When he was awakened again a few hours later because I’d been hogging the covers I asked him, “Do you know what we’re doing tomorrow?”

Blank stare.

“Geocaching.”

Blank stare.

“Do you know what that is?”

“Treasure hunting?”

“So you were paying attention!”

We went to sleep.

I was so excited I woke up much earlier than I usually do on Sundays. I did some work and then over coffee, Donny and I tried downloading the necessary GPS apps to our phones. Two hours later I was ready to throw my phone, laptop, and Donny out the window. When we finally got our act together (or so we thought), we prepared to leave.

And then it started raining.

I took that opportunity to get more work done while Donny read up on Geocaching. When the rain stopped, we headed to the first cache at a park two minutes away. We stopped for fast food and ate in the park’s parking lot. And while we ate the sky opened up. I was starting to think that me and geocaching weren’t meant to be. Donny said he thought the storm would pass quickly and despite having no reason to believe that he actually knew what he was talking about, I decided we’d wait it out. Thank the Lord for headrest TVs with a DVD player. The kids kept themselves busy with a movie while Donny and I played around on our smartphones.  After about 30 mins the rain let up considerably. We all donned zip up hoodies and took off in search of our first treasure.

One of the first things they tell you about geocaching is to look out for Muggles. Much like in the Harry Potter books, Muggles are people that don’t know what the fuck is going on. You want to search for the caches and replace them without letting the Muggles around know what you’re doing. The idea being that Muggles will fuck it up for everyone by moving things and being general pains in the ass.

Because of the weather there were, thankfully, not many Muggles around. We set off in the direction my phone’s GPS said to go, jumping over puddles and stepping in mud. I regretted wearing my new $100 sneakers, but it was too late to do anything about it. I took solace in the fact that the hoodie was protecting my new $140 hairdo.

When we got to the designated spot, we began to search the area; we kicked around leaves, twigs, and rocks, we looked up into the trees in case the canister was tied to a low branch, and we checked all around light posts. Nothing. The GPS wasn’t very helpful as once we got close to the coordinates the needle started spinning all willy-nilly. We were miserable.

We decided to go to Best Buy and buy a real GPS. I figured we’d buy one for the car, one that we could also carry around for cache hunts. I figured wrong as the Best Buy associate explained that for geocaching you’d need a handheld that has geocaching built in. The prices were too high for something I wasn’t even sure I’d enjoy yet. We went home.

While I worked again, Donny did some research and found a handheld GPS device exclusively for geocaching for $199, but reminded me that we had a shitload of reward certificates for Best Buy. He ordered it online and went to pick it up. It cost us $80. We logged back in to our geocache account and pulled up a bunch of caches in our area. We read the descriptions and other helpful hints posted by the people who hid them and people who’d previously went looking for them – sometimes successful, sometimes not. With the GPS plugged into my laptop it was as simple as clicking “send to my GPS” when we found caches that appealed to us. We loaded a few and left again.

People try to get pretty creative in the containers they use to hide the cache. The first one we attempted kept hinting at “nut” in the description so we figured the container might be a fake nut of some kind. It was located at an intersection that can be pretty busy sometimes, but not too bad on a Sunday late afternoon. It was also located, if the GPS was to be believed, down a ditch in front of a private residence. Jack and Donny waited in the car while Kali and I stepped over a guardrail to find it. Crickets leaped at our ankles and I felt like things were crawling on my neck. After a few minutes, Donny and Jack joined us. It was pretty clear that the GPS was directing us down the ditch and it was very steep. Also, the whole “in front of someone’s house” thing made me afraid. I was pretty sure Muggles don’t play that. I pulled up more information on the cache and when I saw, “Beware of ticks,” I called a big fat, “let’s get the fuck outta here” on the whole operation.

We got back in the car and loaded up the next cache. It turns out it was in the parking lot of a supermarket strip mall near our house. The GPS seemed to point us smackdab in front of a light post. That area of the parking lot was completely empty. I stayed in the car with Jack while Donny and Kali got out to investigate. There was a Muggle on a skateboard nearby, looking at us curiously. He got bored after a few moments and looked away. Whew!

After a couple of circles around the post, I saw Donny lift up the base around the pole. “Did you find it?” He nodded. I told him to bring it to the car. They got back in the car and I locked the doors. I don’t know why I was all Deep Throat about the whole operation, it just felt like the right thing to do.

Some caches have items in containers that you are welcome to take, but it’s proper etiquette to then leave items of equal or greater value in return. Some just have a log for you to sign. This one was a log only and it was pretty neat seeing the names and dates of the people that came before us. That cache had been there for almost three years!

We signed the log and then Donny returned the stash. We decided to sign it with our last name, the date, and then I threw in two little stars ’cause I’m a fucking girl. Sue me. We’ll use that until we come up with a badass geocache team name. We headed to our third location.

Because of the name and description we figured it was in a park with ducks, beavers, and other wildlife nearby. My city slicker, me-no-like-animals ass completely blocked all of that info out due to being so high off our first find. We figured out we needed to park at a dead-end with a big ass “no parking after 6pm” sign… it was after 6pm… to get to the next cache. Since Donny and Kali had gotten out and found the last one, Donny said that I should go with Kali this time, but warned that we should hurry cause if the po-po came, he was going to leave us. That’s how he rolls.

Kali and I started off, me carrying the GPS. We walked down a trail with woods to our right and trees that backed up into a lake on our left. The lake looked dirty and lonely. Ahead of us I could make out a brown bridge. It looked sinister. I started thinking, “This is where the white folks die in movies. What the fuck am I doing out here with my baby?” At the foot of the bridge I stopped.

“Kali, maybe we should go back.”

“Noooo, this one has treasure. I want to see what’s in there!”

Just then I heard a branch snap to our right. I’d seen enough movies to know this is usually the appetizer to a dismemberment entree.

“Come on, Mommy!”

We stepped on to the bridge. It didn’t cross water, just more dirt, so I suspect it was just for show. It felt reliable enough, but the sounds of our footsteps on the wood gave me the heebie jeebies. At the other end, I stopped once more.

“I don’t think I want to do this.”

“COME ON!”

I think it’s safe to say that this was my daughter’s white half kicking in. I’m sure her black half was yelling, “RUN, girl, RUN!” She’d apparently tuned that half out. According to the GPS we had to hook a left though we didn’t need it to tell us that – directly in front of us and to our right was thick woods, the path continued to the left only.

As we turned left, I looked ahead at what was waiting for us. I didn’t like what I saw.

We kept walking with me checking the GPS every few seconds. We were 80 feet away. I’d already decided that should a rapist, mountain lion and/or deer appear, I would yell for Kali to run for her life, back to her Daddy, brother and safety, and I’d go down fighting like a true Brooklyn bitch. Cause that’s how I roll.

When we got to the point where the cache should have been 6 feet away, I stopped walking. I turned in a complete circle, taking in everything around me. I was looking for anything out of place, a color that didn’t belong. I wanted to make sure we were alone before I dropped my guard to look for the container.

I was sure we were alone, but just in case I dialed Donny’s cell with my own, put it on speaker and handed it to Kali. I told him we were looking, but I was too freaked to concentrate. After I minute, I decided I was heading back and he’d have to come do it. When I got to the bridge, I could see Donny and Jack outside the car. I waved that he should come to us. He and Jack met us at the bridge and the four of us made our way back to the cache site.

Donny spotted it within ten seconds, a few feet up an embankment, resting against a tree, covered with leaves.

“You know, I’m sure I’d have found it quickly too, but I was distracted by all the bricks I was shitting.”

I didn’t want to fuck around looking at the loot in the woods and I didn’t like leaving the car unattended so we practically ran back to the car.

This cache had a lot of little toys and knick knacks. We took a toy of plastic hands that clapped when you shook it for Jack and deposited a big, hot pink, die in its place.  (Donny made it back safely and we headed to our fourth location).

This one cleverly had “PUBLIX ENEMY” in the name and we could tell by the location marker that it was very near the Kroger supermarket near our house. (Publix is another supermarket chain). We also knew that the person who hid the cache had left a simple two-letter hint that when decoded, revealed LP. I figured it stood for “light post.” Also, someone who had quickly found the cache left a comment that they had to wait to replace it because a Muggle parked his truck near the hiding spot. It turned out it was in a light post behind the Kroger where the deliveries are made.

I hopped out and looked around. Much like the first one we found, the base lifted and out rolled an old film container. I grabbed it and hopped back in the car. This one had a tiny scroll of paper inside a little ziploc bag. Sure enough, when it was time to put it back, a Muggle truck driver came out to move his truck. While he was trying to do that, and his back was turned, I jumped out and returned the cache.

We gave the first one from earlier that day – in the park – another attempt, but still couldn’t find it. According to the log online, someone just found it 7 days ago. We wondered if it had been muggled in the meantime. Damn Muggles!

We had so much fun doing this as a family. I’m grateful to my friend Cathy for bringing it to my attention and that GPS was worth every cent of the 80 bucks we spent on it. It was so much more reliable than the program in our phones and easier to use. When we found a cache we could mark it as found and leave comments about our experience straight from the device.

As we get better at it, and maybe on some days when it’s just Donny and I, we’ll attempt harder ones with more rugged terrain. The caches are identified by their difficulty level in both finding the cache and the terrain you’ll have to cover to get there. There are also multi-caches where the first coordinates lead you to one cache which provides a clue to the GPS coordinates for another location and so on. And there are many that have puzzles you have to solve before you leave the house. Once you solve the puzzles, they reveal the coordinates which you can then load into your GPS and go hunting like normal. We’re going to try those next weekend. Some of the puzzles look pretty easy, but we found a local geocachers that has dozens all around our area and her puzzles are challenging. We can’t wait to try those!

If you think you might like to try it, I’d love to hear about it. We’re thinking we may start hiding some of our own caches with items specifically for people people with children. It really is a fun family activity.

A Mix-Up Of Nerds and Other Things That Made Me Laugh

***

An IM conversation between Sophie and I…

Sophie: I went to this play on Sunday and was talking to my new-ish friend when the subject of Lost came up. I asked her if she watched it and she said no, but that she should because her friend works on the show. Guess who?

Nina: WHO?!

Sophie: Joss Whedon! She’s friends with him and his wife.

Nina: Joss Whedon doesn’t work on Lost. Is your new-ish friend retarded? (Sorry, Sarah Palin.)

Sophie: OH! NO! Not him! The other one! The Felicity guy.

Nina: JJ Abrams.

Sophie: Yes! No, she’s not a ree-ree. Apparently, I am.

***

I was thinking about getting Kali a Kindle to encourage her to read more. But then I thought, “She hasn’t put in enough time!” Us adults; long time lovers of books, we have earned the luxury of a Kindle. Not to mention, those of us with jobs. But I think Kali needs a few years of some old-fashioned book reading under her belt.

She needs to discover the joys of dog-earing her favorite pages and highlighting her favorite passages. She needs to appreciate the smell and feel of a new book for another decade or so. She needs to experience the horror at finding a booger in a library book.

Yeah, she needs to pay her dues.

***

A conversation between Donny and I regarding our upcoming vacation.

Nina: We can spend a whole day at the beach. The kids can see the ocean for the first time. They can get their feet wet, but they can’t swim in the ocean. You hear me?

Donny nods.

Nina: I mean it, Donny! They’re not allowed in the ocean. They’re only half white. Their black half don’t play that shit.

***

Jack has become fascinated with all things Toy Story. We have a bunch of Toy Story figurines, dolls, movies and books. His favorite, of course, is a plush Woody doll.

Nina: He wakes up and the first thing he wants is that Woody.

Donny: I wish Mommy would wake up and want a woody first thing.

Then, Donny and Jack come home from the store and Jack is holding a new Buzz Lightyear doll.

Nina: Awww, did you get a Buzz to go with your Woody? Wait. OK. That didn’t sound right.

Emmy Nominations – Thoughts & Predictions

The primetime Emmy nominations were announced last week and I was very pleased with many of the nominees. Even though we all know it’s an honor to be nominated, the downside to so many favorites receiving a nod is that, inevitably, so many favorites won’t win. Here are my thoughts on this year’s nominees in the major categories.

Outstanding Lead Actor in  a Drama Series

Who I Want To Win: Matthew Morrison (Glee) – Y’all know I love my Glee! I’d love to see it sweep the categories, continue to get more honor and praise and stick around for seasons to come.

Who Should Win: Steve Carell (The Office) – I haven’t seen the most recent season (6), but I just watched season 5 in a two-day marathon session and nearly wet the bed laughing. He makes the awkwardness of Michael Scott look so effortless, like he’s not even acting. That might work against him, but it shouldn’t.

Who Will Win: Alec Baldwin (30 Rock) – I’ve only seen the first three seasons of 30 Rock, and while he’s funny, I still find Carell to be funnier. He seems to be an Emmy fave though.

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Who I Want To Win: Lea Michele (Glee) See above.

Who Should Win: Tina Fey (30 Rock)

Who Will Win: Tina Fey

I wasn’t aware that Nurse Jackie and The United States of Tara were comedies.

Lead Actor in a Drama Series

As I write this, I’ve only seen the first two discs of season 1 of Mad Men (I’m loving it!) and a few episodes of House. I have the first two seasons of Breaking Bad arriving next week. Last week, I spent five days watching all four seasons of Friday Night Lights. That show is one of the best written and finely acted shows on television. And longtime readers know that I’ve seen every episode of Dexter and Lost, the latter about 1 million times.

Who I Want To Win: Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights) – Chandler brings Coach Taylor to life. Literally. You feel like you know this man like you know the men in your life. You understand what drives him, what he cares about, and what will set him off. Chandler makes you want good things for Coach Taylor and his family (yes, even his whiny-ass daughter). This show is sorely under-recognized. With one more season to go, I hope this changes.

Who Should Win: Kyle Chandler

Who Will Win: Jon Hamm (Mad Men) – I don’t see the award committees’ love affair with this show ending any time soon.

Of course, I suppose it goes without saying that I will not shed a tear if Matthew Fox takes it for purely sentimental reasons.

Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Who I Want to Win: Connie Britton (Friday Night Lights) – I watch all of these shows and Britton deserves this. Hands down.

Who Should Win: Connie Britton

Who Will Win: I have a feeling they’ll give it to Julianna Marguiles.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Who I Want to Win: Chris Cofer (Glee) – How awesome would that be?!

Who Should Win: Neil Patrick Harris

Who Will Win: Someone from Modern Family

Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Who I Want To Win: Terry O’Quinn (Lost)

Who Should Win: Terry O’Quinn

Who Will Win: Micheal Emerson or Terry O’Quinn

I should point out that – in case you didn’t know – the people voting don’t necessarily have to watch the shows nominated. All nominees submit tapes of their best work for the season for consideration. If a voter doesn’t watch any of the shows nominated, they would, conceivably, go by the submitted tapes. Of course, nominees are going to submit their best episodes/scenes for consideration. I can think of half a dozen scenes a piece that Emerson and O’Quinn could have submitted that would blow everyone out the water.

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Who I Want to Win: Jane Lynch

Who Should Win: Jane Lynch

Who Will Win: Jane Lynch

Don’t play with me.

Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Who I Want To Win: Archie Panjabi (The Good Wife)

Who Should Win: No clue, but Panjabi is the shit.

Who Will Win: Elizabeth Moss (Mad Men)

Outstanding Comedy Series

Who I Want to Win: My heart belongs to Glee!

Who Should Win: Glee!

Who Will Win: Modern Family

Outstanding Drama Series

Who I Want to Win: Lost

Who Should Win: Lost

Who Will Win: Lost

First, let me say that the fact that True Blood is nominated over a show like Friday Night Lights is crazy.

For the first time in a very long time (or possibly ever) by the time the awards show airs, I will have seen every episode of every show nominated for Best Drama. I feel safe saying that Lost should win. This is subjective, of course, and all depends on what you look for in a TV show. For me, it’s not just the writing, acting, and plot. I watch TV for escape. I love shows that leave me thinking about what I’ve seen long after the credits roll and leave me wishing the next episode aired immediately instead of a week away.

That’s MY criteria of an Emmy-worthy show. And for me, that show is Lost.

Vacation Dilemma

Donny and I want to take a mini vacation at the end of the month before Kali returns to school. We’ve been getting lots of advice from family and friends on where to go, how much to spend, where to stay and what to do once we get there. After much debate we’ve narrowed it down to either Savannah or Hilton Head. Seeing as how they’re very close to one another, there’s a better than great chance that we’ll be able to visit both in our four-day weekend vacation.

But that was only half the battle. Now, we need to settle on one and pick a hotel. That’s where you come in. To help you dispense your advice, I’ll hit you with the stipulations we have.

1. We’re pretty much set on either of those two places due to the fact that it’s just a four-day weekend and we don’t want to spend a chunk of it traveling. Yes, we’re driving.

I’ve lived in a lot of cities and done the cross country driving many, many, times. I’ve done dozens of trips from Maine to Boston, Maine to NY, NY to Atlanta, Atlanta to Philly, Atlanta to NC, NC to Orlando, Atlanta to Florida, and once a very long, boring, oh-my-God-are-we-there-yet drive from Jacksonville, Florida to Corpus Christi, Texas. I’m over it. Anything over 5 hours makes me want to kick puppies and slap babies.

We want to get the whole family road trip experience, and we figure a 4-5 hour drive to South Carolina will get the job done. It’s just long enough for the kids to watch a few DVDs in the back and for everyone to have enough family fun car time.

2. We want to stay in a nice hotel.

Flying scares me, but I love airports. I love being in airports, I love preparing for a flight (and by preparing I mean, praying to sweet, merciful Jesus that I not die flying to Tampa to get my party on), I love watching people reunite and say goodbye at terminals and I love having a drink in airport bars, talking to strangers and making those random connections. Since flying isn’t a part of this trip, I’ll have to get my travel jollies with the hotel I stay in.

I love staying in hotels. I love having people responsible for cleaning up after me and bringing me food because I call. I love flipping through that stupid little HBO guide they leave on the desk and I like stealing miniature soaps and shampoos – don’t judge me. I love ordering room service. I love checking in and checking out.

Over the years, I’ve stayed in many hotels. I spent the majority of my other significant romance doing the long-distance thing. I’ve stayed in four-star hotels and interstate motels. Once, DJ Spermdonor and I stayed in a cheese-tastic property with a circular, red velvet-clad bed and a TV mounted to the wall, and that can only be described as a fuck-tel. It’s a wonder that I, and my unborn Kali, made it out of there alive.

I’ve listened to many nuggets of advice over the weeks advising us to go cheap to have money for other things. I get the reasoning. I do. But no. If it were just Donny and I, going out of town for something where we’d spend very little time in our room, that’s fine. But I’m bringing my children and I want them to be comfortable and safe. Sure, Jack won’t remember it, but he doesn’t need to. Kali, Donny, and I will.

We’re considering ALL things with this trip including the time we spend outside of the room and the time we spend in it. We want them to be equally nice. This will probably be our last vacation until Jack is five and can enjoy DisneyWorld.  We don’t want to spend a bunch of money, but we don’t want to skimp just to do it and then not enjoy ourselves.

So, for the hotel we have some rules:

• If we go to HH, then we must stay on the ocean. This is a biggie for Donny and I. We took a trip soon after we started dating and stayed in a hotel on the beach in NC and there’s nothing like having the ocean lull you to sleep.
• Free wi-fi. Gotta stay on the grid.
• Room service. I promised Kali.
• We’re thinking 3-4 stars.

That’s pretty much it. It seems cheaper to stay in Savannah and drive to Hilton Head for a day at the beach, but then we miss out on the whole sleeping with the ocean sounds. I’ve been on Priceline’s site, we have AAA and could find discounts in accommodations with them, and I’ve listened to suggestions from friends and I still haven’t picked a city/hotel.

To help with your feedback, here are two of my top properties in each city:

AVIA Savannah

Hilton Head Oceanfront Resort