Lost S6 Epi. 2 “What Kate Does”

I just wanna say that I already knew this episode would be slow and boring because I don’t give a crap what Kate does. Anyway, better late than never.

Previously on Lost: Sawyer and Juliet play house and then she dies. Sawyer blames Kate. Sayid dies, but not really. Everyone is all, “WTF?”

And now…

The translator dude tells Prince that Sayid is alive. Dun-dun-dun.

Sawyer is all, ‘It’s so unfair that the Iraqi torturer who shoots kids lives, but my honey dies and stays dead.” He wants to make a run for it.

At the airport, Kate hijacks Claire’s cab. The cabbie runs off at a light leaving Kate to drive with her handcuffs on. She takes Claire’s purse and leaves her on the side of the road without her suitcase. Alternate Reality Kate is a bad mamma jamma.

On the island, Hurley, Jack and Miles explain to Sayid that the others are protecting them at the temple. Also, there’s lots of marveling over the fact that Sayid’s wound is almost healed.

Prince shows up and he wants to speak to Sayid alone, but Jack ain’t havin’ it. In the scuffle that follows, Sawyer grabs a gun and tells them he’s leaving. Prince deals with the dirty feel on English on his tongue long enough to tell Sawyer that he has to stay and Sawyer is all, “I don’t have to do anything but be black and die.” Wait. What?

Kate offers to go after Sawyer ’cause she’s a master tracker. Jin offers to go for reasons unmentioned. I almost forgot he was there. Everyone is all, “What makes you think Sawyer will come back with you?” And Kate is all, “Look at me!”

In Los Angeles, Kate makes friends with a mechanic with a skewed moral compass and a need for $200. He removes her cuffs and gives her a place to change. She calls herself changing into Claire’s clothes… wait… did she think she was gonna wear maternity clothes? Anyway, she is surprised to find the suitcase filled with onesies and teddy bears. NOW she feels all sad? Did she not realize that the pregnant woman she put out on the side of the road might need the shit in her suitcase?! Kate sucks.

On the island, two of the Others prepare to go with Kate and Jin to find Sawyer. She and Jack share a goodbye and I try not to puke.

Prince tortures Sayid. Karma karma chameleon. At the end, they tell him he’s going to be okay… they’re lying.

He's even starting to look like Jesus.

Kate goes back to where she left Claire which is obviously so close to the airport you can hear the fucking planes taking off, but far enough that she felt comfortable enough to go back and not run into cops. Claire is, also miraculously, still there. kate offers to take Claire to where the adoptive parents live.

On the island, one of the Others (Aldo) tell Kate and Jin they are protecting them from the smoke monster. Aldo is super rude to Kate. Turns out, she knocked him out three years ago when she escaped from the Others back when Ben had his back surgery. Damn. He never heard of bygones. Kate does some badass knockout shit and escapes from him… again. Aldo sucks.

At the temple, Jack confronts Prince for torturing Sayid. He tells him that Sayid is infected and that Jack has to get him to take a pill. Jack is like, why didn’t you make him take it when you were torturing him? And Prince is like, first of all, we didn’t torture him, we diagnosed him and second, I don’t know him like that. He then taps into Jack’s “savior complex” and tells him he has to get Sayid to take the pill or else Sayid’s infection will spread.

Jack tells Hurley and Miles to scram (at least now Hurley has a “not now, the grown folks are talking” buddy) and tells Sayid about the pill. Sayid says he’ll take it if Jack tells him to ’cause you know, Jack’s advice so far has been spot on.

Kate tells Jin she’s going to catch up with Sawyer and he tells her he’s going to find his wife.

In Los Angeles, Claire shows up at the adoptive parents house and the wife is all, I’m not taking your baby because my husband left me and I can’t do it alone. And Kate is all, um, you coulda given a sistah a heads-up, a phone call, something! Claire goes into labor.

On the island, Kate finds Sawyer at his old house with Juliet. The Others camp is all jacked up because it’s present day and the smoke monster has been through there. Sawyer finds a box he had hidden an engagement ring in still in the floorboards from the 70′s. Awwww. Kate is all Nosy McNoserstein when Sawyer busts her. I kinda hoped he’d shoot her by accident.

In Los Angeles, Kate takes Claire to the emergency room. Her doctor is… Ethan!!! Dr. Ethan Goodspeed. He tells Claire she could have her baby today if she wanted, or he could stop the labor.Wow. Wish it were really that damn easy. Then the baby monitor loses his heartbeat and Claire almost has a … baby… but she calms down when they figure out that Aaron was just scooting his little ass around and they lost the heartbeat.

Back on the island, there’s some mushiness between Kate and Sawyer. She admits that she needs to find Claire and that she was hoping he could help her find her for Aaron. Sawyer blames himself for convincing Juliet to stay three years ago and now she’s dead.

I’m bored.

Jack goes to see Prince. Prince explains that he uses a translator because he keeps him separate from the people he’s in charge of. His name is something I can’t spell, so I’ma keep calling him Prince. He says he was brought to the island just like everyone else. He tells Jack that Sayid must take the pill, but he wont tell Jack what’s in it. Tell him for God’s sake! You only have 13 more hours left!

Jack swallows the pill and Prince hits him the throat and stomach till it comes out. Yeah, watching someone get hit in the throat never gets old. Prince finally admits it’s poison in the pill.

In Los Angeles, Claire covers for Kate when the cops come sniffing around. This part is so not believable. Claire says that Kate was just her cab driver, but I’m sure the real cabbie told the cops about Kate jackin’ his ride. Anyway, Claire gives Kate her credit card, and Kate, because she’s just triflin’ like that, takes it.

On the island, Sawyer goes back into his house and Kate leaves.

I’m still bored.

Prince can’t believe Jack swallowed the pill and gives him tea. I’m surprised that Jack drinks it, but then again, his throat must hurt. Prince tells Jack that they want to kill Sayid because they believe he has been “claimed.” There’s a darkness growing in Sayid and once it reaches his heart, everything he once was will be gone. Jack asks how Prince can be sure and he tells him,

“It happened to your sister.”

Ruh-roh.

Jin and his non-tracking ass gets snatched up by Aldo and Justin (the black Other.) Aldo wants to kill him, but Justin says they can’t because he’s “one of them.” Aldo says, “He may be one of them.” Very interesting for next week.

Anyway, someone shoots them before they can kill Jin. It’s Claire looking all bushwoman crazy a la Danielle!