A House Is A House Is A House
February 15, 2010 by nina
Filed under Blog It Out, Bitch, Featured
As I type this, I am dying.
I know what you’re thinking, “We’re all dying. Get over it, bitch.”
No. I am really dying. My throat is on fire, my body aches, I have chills, and to top it all off, my hair is a hot ass mess. (One day, I will figure out how to be sick and maintain a fabulous head of hair, but today ain’t that day.)
So, this whole dying thing wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that…
1. I am a Mommy and Mommies can’t get sick. Why? Because no matter how awesome Daddy is (and I think we all know that my husband is pretty fucking awesome. He’s like, 1045x more awesome than your husband, and you know it) Daddy just can’t get shit done like Mommy. Never mind that my husband does all of the cooking and cleaning, because the moment I get sick, he like, stops. I don’t get it. I really don’t. It’s like, he gets sick by association. Sympathy sick. I don’t know. All I know is I woke up this morning, went downstairs for the first time since Friday evening and realized that my whole first floor was a hot fucking mess (not to be confused with hot ass mess which is the current state of my hair. Pay attention!)
2. I have shit to do!
So, we’re moving and moving sucks. No. It really, really does. Don’t believe me? Gee, I’d count all the ways moving sucks but I seriously don’t have the time, energy, or bandwidth to adequately relay the amount of suckage moving incorporates.
And our move particularly sucks donkey balls because we are downsizing. When we moved here, we were upsizing (yes, I made that word up. I can do that. It’s my blog.) Super-sizing, if you will. We went from two bedrooms, living room, 2.5 baths, kitchen, dining room to four bedrooms, bonus room, family room, kitchen, 3 full baths, formal living room, and formal dining room.
When you’re packing for a bigger house you don’t have to be so picky and decision-making-y.
“What’s that? A closet full of clothes you never wear? Take them all! Have you seen the master closet? It’s like a mini-bedroom. It’s like, bigger than that room under the stairs the Dursleys made Harry Potter sleep in! We’re gonna have so much room. We’re gonna be like the motherfucking Clampetts!”
When you’re downsizing? Not so much. We had big plans for rooms we never went into. I could go months without going into the formal living room. There are rooms that were never fully furnished. I mean, it’s kinda hard to afford furniture for the house when you’re busy trying to, oh, I don’t know, afford the fucking house! And not just the house itself, but the cost of heating the house.
Between doing the flat bill every month, then cancelling the flat bill cause I swore we could do better than what they were charging, then falling a month behind, then having them tack on the difference for cancelling the flat bill, and a late fee and carry the two… agggh… so I called the electric company on Friday and I said, “How much do I have to pay you right now to be current?”
And she said….
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Wait.
For.
It.
$806!
“Eight hundred and six dollars?!”
She started to give me a bill breakdown and I asked her if she could just please shut her filthy mouth. Then I went online and paid the $806 and tried not to vomit. I was comforted by the fact that in a few short weeks I’d be in a much smaller house that didn’t cost a kajillion dollars to heat/cool.
So, where was I? Oh yeah, so we’re trying to fit big house stuff into smaller house and it’s a pain in the ass. I have found that I am not only emotionally attached to the house, but I’m tethered to the stuff in the house and even moreso when I realize that the stuff isn’t going to make the five minute trip up the road to the new subdivision.
“But I love that futon!” I wailed after Donny explained we’d have to trash the futon we purchased back when we got our very first one bedroom apartment together. (See. When you upsize, EVERYTHING goes with you!)
“Nina. You don’t even use the futon.”
He was right, of course. It resides in our bonus room (the kid’s playroom), and I probably sit my ass on it once a week and that’s only when I go in there to extend the programs on the TiVo.
Other items not making the trip? A twin bed, a dresser, one of our dining tables, and my elliptical.
Wait. What?
Donny claims we won’t have room for it. I’m not a big fan of exercise equipment in the bedroom. I think it looks tacky and it inevitably ends up being a very expensive hamper. First, it was in the family room because that’s where the Wii is and I figured I could do Wii Fit, then the elliptical. Then we moved it to the formal living room because I thought it made the family room cluttered and we’d recently redecorated/painted. But there isn’t a TV in the formal living room and I can’t work out without a TV, right? So, I made my husband lug the monstrosity up to the bonus room, and I can’t quite remember what my excuse was for not using it up there.
Oh, yeah. I’m lazy.
And let’s not even talk about the nursery. Seriously. I cannot bring myself to pack it up. Longtime readers will remember the money and care, but more importantly money, that went into preparing that room for Jack. I mean, I gave up a pair of Louboutins for that nursery! Yes, I won a bet and hit my weight loss goal before getting pregnant and my reward was to be a $700 pair of shoes which I decided would be irresponsible (well, MORE irresponsible) considering the fact that we had a baby on the way and they can’t eat or sleep in designer shoes. No matter how fabulous they are.
And never mind the fact that Jack has not once, not one time, not even half a time, slept in that room. That’s not the point! The point is, it’s his room and I designed it and it’s special because he is special and I said so. So, dismantling the crib that he has not once, not one time, not even half a time, slept in has fallen to Donny because I am too emotional to do it.
And also, I’m lazy.
Isn’t the crib going to the new house, you ask? Well, yes. But again, you people are missing the point.
And it’s not like the new house isn’t about seven, no eight, kinds of awesome. Because it is. Beautiful hardwood floors on the entire first floor, new countertops, awesome his and her master bath sinks, and kickass toilets that normally cost approximately$456,987.33 but because the current owner works for Home Depot and waited for them to go on sale, he got them for like, $20. Right now you’re probably thinking, “Doesn’t Donny work for….” Don’t. Even. Say. It. (Donny thanks you.)
Anyway, it’s a downgrade in size, but an upgrade in so many regards, especially financial and I’m trying to be grateful. Actually, I am grateful. And excited.
It would just be great if I didn’t feel like death warmed over right now.
Happy Monday! How’s yours going?
Nina is a 34-year-old mother, wife and writer who spends her days blogging, studying, changing diapers and watching ridiculous amounts of TV. She currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia, with her husband, two children and three TiVos.
Nina,
I'm so sorry you're feeling sick and more sorry that your hair is looking bad...there is no justice in that at all. When we moved into our new house 2 years ago, I had strep, the monster ice storm of 2007 hit 2 days after we moved in, I hosted not one but two Christmas gatherings at my house and got the Christmas flu. It's a bitch but I lost a bunch of weight that month...LOL.
I think I'll make you feel worse...we built our house 2 years ago going from a 1400 sq ft house to a 2700 sq ft and our utility bills went down! I pay about 200-250/month for electric, gas and water/trash. No HOA bills in my neighborhood yet because it's not completely finished and until there are 90% houses completed, no neighborhood association so no fees! This house is awesome when it comes to energy savings. Still, we're planning on moving in a year or two to Jacksonville FL to be near my kids and we're planning to downsize. It's just the two of us and we don't need so much room. I got past the cleaning of this monster by hiring a housekeeper...I love her!
Anyway, glad you like the new place you're moving to and I hope you feel better soon.
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LikeI want a housekeeper.
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LikeWhen I got rid of my house and moved in with Matt, I went from a very nice 3/2 to a little old fixer upper 2/1. One bathroom for two humans and three dogs. A tiny bathroom with only a walk in shower, no garden tub and walk in shower!
The bonus.....we aren't paying two mortgages. We save about 2k a month. But there was still so much crap that had to go. After all was said and done, I moved my ktchen table, bedroom, kitchen ware (the largest amount of anything I own), paintings and clothes. I let go of all my furniture, fixtures and big house stuff.
Moving does suck...now try moving into a house that you're renovating. It's for the birds. I'd much prefer to just move into a house that is done....but the things we do for love, a fenced in yard and dog door.
Cheers
Heather
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LikeNina-
This post comes at such a relevant time in my life! As I've mentioned to you a couple times, my boyfriend Sean and I are planning to leave Chicago and move to an Atlanta suburb in the fall when our lease is up. There are many reasons why ATL wins over Chicago, but the main one is the weather and incredible housing/rent prices. We can rent an apartment more than THREE times the size of our current two-bedroom for LESS than what we're paying here in Chicago!
Also, my best friend is moving down to Acworth with her husband in May, so it helps to know someone when you move across the country. Allie is out in GA now looking at properties, and she called me tonight to tell me about the offer they just put on a house--a five-bedroom house (in a golf course community!) for $155K (asking price $199). I was like "dude. you can't even get a condo in Chicago for that price!" It's amazing.
Allie was suggesting that Sean and I look into buying rather than renting, because our monthly mortgage would be about the same as a renting price, but I'm not sure our financial situation would warrant that just now. I don't really think that he and I would NEED a five-bedroom house to start; we'd probably be cool with a three-bed so we can have our offices and whatnot.
Anyway, my questions to you: I may have missed a blog about this, but what are the reasons why you are downsizing? Would you recommend renting or buying? Sean mentioned the cost of heating/cooling big homes. And especially since we don't have any kids running around just yet, why the hell would we need all that space? (that last one was rhetorical.)
And...it is hilarious to think about all the shit we haul around for years that we never use. I am scared to move again.
Good luck.
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LikeI wouldn't buy until I was sure I was absolutely able to handle it financially. It's not just the mortgage, but there's HOA dues, garbage, water, lawn care, etc. And if you did buy, I'd start small because I can tell you that five bedrooms means a lot of cleaning and it's a bitch to heat/cool. If you're unsure, renting for another year won't hurt until you are sure.
What areas are you guys looking into. We totally have to get together when you get here. Will you be making trips to check out areas beforehand? I hope you move close.
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LikeSean and I are looking at Acworth and Marietta, and a number of the surrounding suburbs. The house my friend and her fiance put an offer on is on Fairway View Crossing in Acworth (if that means anything to you). We would love to be near them, and not more than 45 minutes from downtown. We're making a trip out to GA as soon as they're settled in in May; gonna visit a handful of people we know down there so they can tell us about the ATL area!
I hate cleaning. But it's mostly my job since my guy does most of the cooking in the house, so for my sake, I think we'll rent a cute place. It's an upgrade size-wise either way, and you're right about not financially burying ourselves at the onset.
I'm SO excited to get away from Chicago winters. (And hopefully meet you soon!)
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Likei'm sad over your move too!
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LikeDude, yeah, packing/moving sucks dirty asshole. I have to move like...every year to every two years. Even soon-ish. I moved in here in September and me, my boyfriend and a roomie want to move somewhere else...where my boss isn't my landlord and we have two bathrooms.
Feel better!!
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Likei am on the final stages of getting the house down to just MY stuff..granted some of mom and grandma's stuff is now considered mine, but there was so much that was theirs and theirs alone...people thought I was a hoarder! We had the treadmill upstairs when they were alive but then after Mom passed we converted her bedroom into the Wii/Excercise room...well now im converting that space into a mini apt for my godson and his girlfriend since they are having a baby...so the treadmill is going back upstairs and to the sitting room...
i am not moving out of this house until Deijah graduates college!
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Likehahahahaha
you know what's funny...you passed on the shoes, did all that work (made Donny do all that work) and your son has never even slept in that room.....SUCKER! hahahahahahahahaha
but on a serious note....I know that picking and choosing does suck....so I just threw everything but my clothes and personal stuff away and started over in the new house. My clothes, my pictures, my pots and pans and the food in my pantry was all that came with me....well, my animals too, but they're not 'stuff'...lol
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LikeI've moved quite a bit. At one point I had a theory that if it couldn't fit in my truck (I miss that truck) then I don't need it. I'm looking forward to the challenge I set for myself of moving to HI by the end of the year, even though it means a major change. The good thing is that my current house has never been made into a home so I never fully furnished it. The bad thing is that stuff has accumulated because I haven't had to be as good about keeping it to a minimum. Thank goodness my new roomie is a clean person and has inspired me to start the paring down process now!
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LikeUgh. I hate moving, and being sick on top of it is no fun.
I got a little emotional when we moved out of that crappy little place I hated a few months ago. We made a lot of memories there, just like you guys have. Change always feels a little weird, even when it's for the best.
Hope you feel better soon...
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LikeI've been that sick shit too :( Last Monday the sore throat started, Friday I started losing my voice and now it's completely gone. I'm at work now, but I feel like a nice long nap about now :)
Hope you feel better soon and that move goes ok once you get all sorted through the stuff you can / can't take. At one point in my life, I moved like 8 times in 10 years. I got the belongings narrowed down to the bare minimum!
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LikeIn the first four years together Dan and I moved about 1.5x a year. At the time we didn't have a lot but it was still exhausting. I feel like every time I do a major clean in this house which is every six weeks just about it is a 'move' and a downgrade - we live in a small 3 bedroom, one bath house and I am always, always, having to get rid of stuff find more efficent methods of storing things.
I hope you feel better soon.
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LikeI feel your pain. I am looking at a potential move this summer. I hope like hell that if they make the husband relocate, they pay a moving bonus, because I DON'T WANT TO MOVE AGAIN. Not only do I have the packrat husband's stuff, but we have all of my deceased packrat father-in-law's stuff, and my children have inherited the gene and we also have every freaking happy meal toy we've ever gotten.
Take the Advil, drink some tea, put the feet up for ten minutes and don't forget to breathe.
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LikeThere's a chest in the playroom that contains every Happy Meal toy from about 2002-2006. True story.
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LikeI remember the building and decorating of the nursery and I would not be able to do it either.
I have lived in my house for 17 years. I bought it when I was 18. I have seen and loved other homes. I just seriously hate moving so much that I always found a reasons to stay in my teeny tiny house which really is not big enough for a family with 3 kids.
Get you some coffee and look up freecycle.
It is a great easy way to get rid of stuff you do not want to take.
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LikeGeez..im getting emotional over YOUR move...
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LikeGood morning to you! I hate moving, and I hate being sick. Put the two together and I'm the most miserable person in the world. I totally feel you on that. I have a midterm today at 3pm. My body aches from playing a really though soccer game last night. These bias were thugs in disguise. I had one girl literally truck me over. I tried to get up but my arm hurt. When I got physical with her she would say "Ref, watch the pushing" I was like bitch, are you kidding me? I have bruises all over from last night and I don't even remember getting them. Regardless, it was really cold last night and running up and down that field with that cold wind left me with a little cough. I'm hoping it goes away today. Other than that my whole body is sore and even laughing hurts. This means it's time for me to get back into the gym routine. No more excuses.
I hope you feel better and that your move goes smoothly and quickly. xoxo.
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LikeOh, and you know, feel better and shit. Brush yo hair too!
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LikeI want the elliptical.
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