How Jenna Found Out I Loved Her – Part 1

I loved the way she said “balloon.” She said it as if she were blowing bubbles. Her lips pursed and I wanted to kiss them.

“Do you think we have enough?”

I looked away from her mouth and glanced at the helium balloons she held. Her nails were painted bright pink to match her lip gloss.

“Um, sure.”

“Good, let’s go pay.”

I followed behind her as she headed for the checkout counter. My book bag was heavy and the strap was cutting into my shoulder. I had a ton of homework that needed to be done that night, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to help Jenna.

“Did you kids find everything alright?” The woman behind the register had a two-pack-a-day voice. Jenna smiled at her and said, “We sure did.” The cashier looked at me for confirmation and I simply nodded. In truth, I didn’t know what was going on. My concentration was still at school where not fifteen minutes ago, Jenna Mintor had asked, “Can you give me a ride? I need to pick up balloons for Carrie’s party.”

Everything that had happened after that; the ride to Walgreen’s, Jenna rifling through my CD collection and crossing her legs in the passenger seat, the way she playfully tugged on my arm when she complained I’d been walking too slowly – they were all kinda hazy, like the remnants of a dream when you first wake up. I watched as Jenna reached into her own back pack and pulled out a small change purse. From it, she pulled two neatly-folded five dollar bills. She handed them to the cashier and then turned to me.

“Thanks again for coming with me. Especially with you not going to the party and all.”

I mumbled something about having a lot of homework to do and studying for a test – a half lie. My mother didn’t allow Eloise and me to go out on school nights, but I was too embarrassed to admit this. I also told her she didn’t have to thank me for the ride. I’d have done anything for Jenna. I did not tell her that last part.

“Can you give me a lift to Carrie’s?”

“What? You think I’m just gonna leave you here at Walgreen’s?”

Jenna laughed and bumped me with her hip as we walked towards the exit. My stomach dropped and my hands got sweaty. She tied the balloon ribbons to her wrist.

“Oh shoot. Hold on.”

Jenna ran back to the register and grabbed a package of gum. She pulled out the change purse once again and counted exact change. She un-wrapped the package as she jogged to where I stood by the exit, the balloons and her blonde ponytail bobbed left and right. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.

***

We drove with the windows open, enjoying the spring breeze. At a stop light, Jenna pulled a small bottle of vanilla-scented lotion from her bag and rubbed some on her hands. She offered it to me, but I’d refused. She also offered me a stick of spearmint gum, but I turned that down as well. My mouth was dry and I could have used the gum, but I was too nervous to do much of anything but drive and even that required more concentration than I had available.

She talked about how she really didn’t want to go to Carrie’s party, but she’d promised. That’s the kind of girl Jenna was; considerate, kind, a girl of her word. She asked me about the test I had the next day. I thought quickly and made something up for one of the few classes we didn’t have together; biology.

“Invertebrates.”

“Yuck. You’ll do well though. You’re smart.”

A blush crept over my face; a deep red to rival the balloons blocking my rear view. We pulled up in front of Carrie’s house and I kept the motor running while I helped Jenna wrangle the balloons from the back seat.

“I won’t see you in school tomorrow. I have to go to the dentist, but I’ll be at bible study tomorrow night. You?”

“Yup.” I replied, knowing that I’d only miss bible study over my mother’s dead body.

“OK. See you, Sam.”

“Bye, Jenna.”

I watched until she rang Carrie’s bell, then got in my car and drove away. To stay any longer would have been creepy.  I pointed the car towards home and drove on mental cruise control. The car smelled of vanilla and spearmint and Jenna. I could still feel the heat from her on the passenger seat when I pressed my hand against the fabric.

***

Eloise was my half-sister, but everyone thought she was my cousin.  My father had an affair and she was the result. When Eloise was ten, and I was twelve, her mother arrived at our house late one night. I remember coming to the top of the stairs when I heard the loud voices. If I made my presence known, my mother would have ordered me back to bed, so I stayed quiet. It was the most exciting thing that had happened in our house since Uncle Peyton had too much “special juice” at Christmas Eve dinner and thrown up all over the Christmas tree.

Eloise’s mother had informed my mother, quite loudly, that my father had gotten her pregnant and now it was time for him to take responsibility. She was tired of raising Eloise alone and wanted to move to San Diego to look for “good work.” She’d be leaving Eloise with us or else she’d tell the whole town what my father had done.

“You must be crazy! I…”

“Shut up, James.” My mother cut him off.

I recognized my mother’s tone. It was the tone that said stop arguing, you are going to church. It was the tone that said I don’t want to hear another word because you are not leaving the house in that. It was the tone that said shut up and let me clean up the mess you have made, James.  Just like that, I had a sister.

My mother could not have the news of my father’s indiscretion getting out to the people at church, so Eloise was the daughter of my father’s fictional sister. This also helped to explain the uncanny, and unfortunate, strong resemblance between the two. A spare room, no bigger than a closet, became her bedroom and Eloise was enrolled in my school. The first Sunday Eloise had accompanied us to church my mother was the center of attention.

“You have such a large heart, Helen, giving a home to a child in need.”

“Well, it’s the Christian way, isn’t it? Her mother, poor soul, was really in no position to care of her. Drugs.” She delivered the last word in a stage whisper because, really, she wanted everyone to hear. A drug-addicted family member made my mother’s tale even more dramatic, her sacrifice more grand, and her good deed more Christian.

My father sat in the pews, between Eloise and me, and looked as he always did when we were in church; bored.

***

Stay tuned for part 2, next week.