No One Is Happy Being Fat
October 22, 2009 by nina
Filed under Blog It Out, Bitch, Rants
In the several years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve pissed off and offended many people. I’ve pissed off my sister, friends, and fellow bloggers. My father was in for a bit of an uncomfortable shock when he stumbled upon my blog heralding the joys of oral sex. Hey, everyone is forewarned!
Then there was the time I pissed off the Christians by saying how creepy I found it when random ones would approach me in parking lots asking if I had given any consideration to where I’d spend eternity. Um, not recently, but I am considering giving you snoutful of this mace in my purse. After that, I pissed of an Asian girl when I wrote an open letter to all the Asian girls on my campus. Listen, it’s not my fault they all dress like they’re going to the club instead of class.
Along the way there have been countless more, I’m sure – white people when I talk about white boys going white boy crazy, Floridians when I say it’s the child molester capital of the world, black people when I wonder why they can’t ever get their ass to a movie on time and then shut the fuck up while it’s on, Republicans simply for being douchebags, etc., etc.
Today, I’m gonna piss off fat people.
(Writer’s Note: It is truly not my intention to piss anyone off. I just like to say that I am. It keeps you reading. This is meant to be equal part humor, self-deprecation, and motivation. This is for all the people who complain about their weight, yet won’t do anything about it – at least not consistently. And I’m throwing stones at my glass walls. If you are fat/overweight (whatever word you like) and happy with yourself, then do you, boo. Do you.)
Being fat sucks. Anyone who is fat and says they are happy are lying. No one is happy being fat. Sure, you can be fat and have a great job. You can be fat and married to the man/woman of your dreams. You can be fat and have the most wonderful kids and the most fabulous friends. You can be fat and go on the most luxurious of vacations every year. You can be fat and drive a nice car, screw a hot girl, and wear the most expensive clothes. And all of those things may make you happy, but you are not happy being fat.
And if you say you are, you’re a big fat liar.
I don’t care what else is going on in your life, if someone told you that you could swallow one pill and get rid of that FUPA or stop having your muffin top muffining over the top of your jeans, you’d swallow that bitch before they could offer you a glass of water.
I am overweight. Yes, most of you are thinking, “It’s okay. You just had a baby.” Well, yeah, but that doesn’t make me any less overweight. Today I told a friend (who is a self-proclaimed “fattie”) that I lost six pounds since last week and recently discovered that I not only fit into a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans, but they are falling off! Instead of being happy for me, she informed that I am not fat. I am a fat faker. Apparently, I am faking the fat funk. She told me that I can no longer use the word fat as it would be considered offensive since I do not belong to the fat club.
OK, sure, I’m not obese or anything, but I am not comfortable. And I knew this would happen. For whatever reason, I turn into a beast when I’m pregnant. I just do. It’s all la la la until the third trimester and then my footsteps on the second floor have Donny casting wary glances at the ceiling and wondering if the flat screen one the first floor is mounted to the wall securely.
When you are fat.. I mean, overweight, it is always there. When you’re playing on the floor with your kids, the fat is crouched in the corner, a reminder that you’d be able to play more and without losing your breath if you’d just lose 20lbs. When you’re typing away on the laptop, the fat reminds you that a year ago the laptop rested on smaller, firmer, thighs. When you walk into your closet the fat reminds you that there’s a whole wardrobe you can no longer fit.
I have felt all of those things and it sucks. And if I feel that, if I know the dread that comes with being invited out, but turning down the invitation because you can’t wear your nice clothes and can’t bear to buy something new in your new fat size, then I’m sure people who are fat/obese are downright miserable.
I used to get so mad watching Star Jones on The View. She’d always make remarks about how confident she was with this “big is beautiful/more to love” bravado. The whole time though, she’s breathing heavily and coughing up powdered sugar. If you’re out of breath from talking while sitting, something ain’t right. I thought the message she was putting out was a dangerous one. I believe in personal responsibility, but I wondered how many women with weight problems were watching and let that pump them up or allow them to lie to themselves. Now, after surgery, she admits that her health was in danger and she was unhappy. No shit.
It sucks when you let the fat stop you from living your life. Let me tell you a story: A few years ago I had discovered Myspace after one of the best seasons of Big Brother (one of my favorite reality shows.) One night, I was looking for friends on the site when I remembered reading that one of the stars of that last season, James R., had been discovered for the show from his Myspace page. I looked him up and sent him a friend request. I knew nothing about Myspace and how it worked. Then I started blogging and building a small audience. One of the first people not related to me to leave a comment on a blog was James. We became friends. A short while later, his girlfriend at the time called to invite me to a surprise dinner party for James. My first thought was that I wouldn’t go because I wasn’t happy with my weight.
I should point out now that:
1. James is hot.
2. No matter how much I love my husband, I will always be one of those women who likes looking her best when in the presence of a good looking man. It doesn’t mean that I love my husband any less or will be any less faithful. But if given a choice, I will always choose NOT to look a hot ass mess around hot guys. And if one of those hot guys should be so bold as to smile and tell me how great I look, I will smile, blush, and get all atwitter at the compliment. It’s how I roll.
I got over my stupid issues, went to the birthday party, and had a great time. I was looking at pics from that night the other day and thought, “What the hell was I smoking?” I would kick a puppy down a flight of stairs to look like that now! Now? Sheeit. Now, James could be pounding on my front door, battered and bruised with a homicidal maniac hot on his ass, and I wouldn’t let him in till I lost 20lbs. I’m just saying.
I have delayed meeting up with an old friend I recently found on Facebook because of baby weight. I have dreaded visits from out-of-town internet friends because of this baby weight. I have turned down invitations for Donny and I to go out to dinner with friends. I have avoided going to my husband’s job because I’m so annoyed with myself and this weight.
And if I’m “not that fat” and I’m living like this, I can only imagine what truly overweight people are feeling and how much life they’re not living. (For the record, I consider myself truly overweight. Being 5′11 only gives you but so much in the way of camouflage.)
There are a bunch of reasons why people can’t/won’t lose weight. Some of it’s medical. Some of it’s just poor lifestyle choices. In my case, there’s this vicious cycle going on. I know how to lose weight. When I focus and get into it, not only do I lose weight quickly, I enjoy it! And because I know I can do it, it’s easier to procrastinate getting started. It’s convenient to say, “I know I can lose 20lbs in three months so who is it going to hurt if I start next week over this one?” The problem is next week turns into the week after and then the week after that.
Who knows? Maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe there are people out there quite loving their flabby bellies and back fat. Maybe there are people out there who, for whatever reason, have just decided to ride the fat thing out. But for those that aren’t happy, for those that can go days with feeling fine until they have to try on a piece of clothing that no longer fits or run into an ex, I hope they/we do something about it. I think we need to make those unhappy moments the rule and not the exception. We need to remember how much we hate it when deciding between fast food and a home cooked meal. We need to remember how much we hate it when we decide to take the elevator over the stairs.
We need to make the decision to be happy and healthy.
***
So, I just had a convo with my friend who is now calling me a fat faker and she feels as if I’m coming off as attacking fat people. Granted, she hasn’t yet read the blog as I type this and this is based on our IM conversation about the blog.
Let me be clear:
- I understand that I am approaching the weight thing from a totally different perspective than someone who has been overweight for many years or their whole life.
- I understand that it is possible to gain weight and like it. Been there. Done that. Rocked the t-shirt. I was a rail before I got pregnant with Kali. I still have clothes from that time and I wouldn’t want to be that skinny again. I liked my post-Kali body once I got it in order. Finally, no more white girl butt! The problem became when I gained 30lbs after that and only lost 20 of that 30 before getting pregnant with Jack. This weight, I’m not happy with.
- Anyone that has been reading me for awhile knows that I don’t make broad generalizations. Of course there are happy fat people. And I’m sure there are people who are happy who happen to be fat and happy WITH THE FAT. I may not understand it, but I’m sure it exists. And come on, would you click on a blog titled, “I’m Sure There Are Fat People Who Like Being Fat, But I’m Not One Of ‘Em. No Offense To You If You’re a Happy Fatty?” I think not.
- I do think people make excuses and I think that making excuses is always easier than putting in the work. Not all overweight people, but some. Definitely people like me. It’s easy to say that eating something that tastes good but is bad for you makes you happy. It’s hard to say that maybe you shouldn’t be eating it right now or that the portion is too big.
- I always say that bad things can happen to good people who are where they’re supposed to be and doing what they’re supposed to be doing. You can be in great shape and get cancer. Knowing that, why take the chance on getting heart disease or diabetes because you can’t control your eating habits?
- My children didn’t ask to be here and I owe it to them to not die at 40 because Mommy couldn’t stop stuffing her face with bad foods.
- If you are overweight and happy with it, I’d like to hear from you.
If you are happy being fat, good for you. For me…
Nina is a 34-year-old mother, wife and writer who spends her days blogging, studying, changing diapers and watching ridiculous amounts of TV. She currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia, with her husband, two children and three TiVos.
yay!!! I love it… I’m Fat and I’m not Happy! I can say that I”ve been readingyou for about 4 years? wow! I met some amazing people on your blog , but you know this! I joined the Biggest Loser group you had. I have been trying to lose weight for 2 years and guess what I’ve gained 20 in 2 years! I hate it! Yes, i do procrastinate and that is my problem… come on…. I need motivation… i am so busy!
I can relate. I’ve been disgustingly busy for the past three weeks. I can’t wait for this semester to be over.
I think that is part of my problem…other than the being lazy as hell thing…I don’t like the fat, but I don’t HATE it either….
I know I have poor impulse control (especially when it comes to chips) and need to learn to eat less and healthier foods….just none of it tastes like Doritos! LOL
I am joining the gym this paycheck, though, and will go every day except Wed. until I lose 50lbs. Then I will work on the next 50!!!
And notice I didn’t say, “Not happy with yourself.” I think you can be fat/overweight and be happy with who you are as a person (just as you can be happy with 50 other aspects of your life/personality), but still not be happy about your size.
In my case, though, I do think there’s a bit of self-loathing going on when I eat like a pig. Unfortunately, I can’t afford therapy.
“Floridians when I say it’s the child molester capital of the world,”
SMH! this reminds me of SVU last night! anyway back 2 reading… Im going to comment of course because I think Im fat tho most guys dont think so
Ok, i read it. I wanted to be offended btw and i wasnt. -_-
anywho, i agree. Those who consider themselves fat and say theyre happy its bullshit. I can say that because I know what its like to be skinny. Its been 10 years, granted, half of my life but I know the pains of being fat and the misery that accompanies it. You pointed it all out. I, like you, like looking good and presentable in the company of a good looking man whether or not Im with someone. If I get a compliment, I feel just like you, butterflies, blushing and all. It makes me feel good. And like you because I know HOW to lose my weight, i procrastinate. Its probably my biggest demon, procrastination. Plus I dont like working out. I feel as tho Im betraying myself not feeling content but reality is I am NOT happy with being overweight. Ive been miserable lately because of my recent weightgain. I want to lose 30 lbs and know Im not going to because I keep procrastinating or my schedule screws me over. Its a pain in the ass.
I really wish one of those damn diet pills did work. Then I wouldnt feel so bad. Id just pop a pill per lb I want to lose. SMH!
PS @ least youre tall. Im short @ 5′3, even Tyra wouldnt want me lol
What sucks about procrastination is that eventually something will come along that you want to attend or you’ll find some outfit you want to buy and you’ll wish you had started to do the right thing months ago.
ay mija! I know exactly what youre talking about. Unfortunately I know that event is coming. Well. 2 events. the first is a wedding in a couple of weeks and the other is my 21st bday. I WANNA LOOK BANGING!!! LOL I need to stop this procrastination crap and get 2 workn and twerkn lol
Fuck em! Anyone who, overweight, fat, slightly fat, obese, person who say they’re happy big (Monique) is a liar, in my opinion. Yeah you’re happy you have to take a break while attempting to go up a flight of stairs. Yeah you’re happy when you can’t find clothes that fit you at a regular store. I’m not prejudice against overweight people because, I too feel I’m overweight. I had babies and that excuse is so old. I’m on South Beach and have lost 10lbs. Yay Me! I work out 5 times a week and walk. I love cardio but I hate excersising in general but I’m doing what I have to do. Logan is 2 and there is not excuse why I haven’t lost the baby weight. I’m doing it for me, my health and to look good period.
Great blog Nina!
OOOH! Denise if you stick onto the South Beach diet(its really a lifestyle but whatever.) you’re going to lose a lot of weight and just your body is going to change in its form. My aunt has been on that for almost 3 years and she went from a size 14 to size 7/8. She’s the most religious in her family to keeping with the diet, her son and husband tend to cheat but the weightloss IS noticeable!!! It shows that food consumption does have some kind of effect on your body. GOOD LUCK!
You are absolutely right. I started South Beach in August of 08 and lost 20lbs and kept it off. Then in April for Easter, I went to my mother in laws and she had a Honey Baked Ham and I couldn’t resist. I feel off and gained about 15lbs from April up until when I started dieting. But during that off time, I tried sticking to whole grain, lean proteins etc. It is a lifestyle change and a good one. There are so many good tasting foods on SB, lots of recipes and your full and very minimum cravings. Thank you.
I’m offended by your vulgarity… “fuck”? i don’t think I’ve heard read you cuss! OMG!
See it was one of the times, I felt like saying the f-word. lol
In all these years I don’t think I ever heard you say fuck. LMAO!
I hate cardio. I wish I liked to run and could afford a treadmill.
Get WiiFit Plus, if you already have WiiFit its only $20 and its fun. I have been using it faithfully and it does get your heart rate up.
Very little people are fat because of a medical condition…so they are fat for a reason. Diet, exercise…you know the drill they can do.
BTW I thought this was going to be hating on some people you and I both hate. I was ready to bring my A game and bash them and their state, but its about fat people.
Oh and there the fat virus..I forgot about that.
I have a feeling I’m gonna piss off my conservative friends soon enough. All this controversy over the flag is ridiculous.
Great blog. I agree, noone is happy being fat, they just convince themselves they are so that they can pretend to the world that they are.
THIS was the controversial blog?! I don’t really see the big deal.
I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. I was never obese, but was a pudgy kid. What I remember most from my childhood is being teased – relentlessly – for being ‘fat.’ Obesity runs in my family, so none of my relatives thought I was ‘fat.’ However, to the rest of the world, I was kinda fat.
In high school, as many young girls do, I became obsessed with my weight and the food I ate. I went vegan and shrunk to a ridiculously small size. I jogged all the time. My hair fell out and my periods stopped – but I was THIN! Anyway, I learned very early on that being fat was horrible and fat people don’t fit in.
I think we women are led to hate our bodies and that’s unfortunate. My baby weight came off so easily because I nursed so much and couldn’t eat much do to Milo’s allergies. As we’ve started weaning, the weight has been coming on. My clothes don’t fit and I feel fat and keep getting fatter. I know how to lose it. I just can’t get motivated. I really relate to your procrastination! I’m so full of excuses:
-I’m always tired because Milo won’t sleep through the night.
-Milo rarely naps during the day, so I have very little time to myself.
-I’m afraid of taking him to the gym because the daycare is a germ-virus party.
-If I exercise when the hubby gets home, it’s too close to bedtime and aggravates my insomnia.
-And, of course, I’ll eat better (less calories) tomorrow.
All this obsession about getting Milo to eat more and gain weight has caused ME to gain weight. I’m always thinking about food and getting HIM to eat. I hate to waste whatever he doesn’t eat, so I eat it. I need to just throw it out. I need to prepare lower calorie foods for myself. I need to FIND TIME for exercise. It’s never been so tough to take care of myself, when my whole life revolves around another person. I need to find the balance and make time for me.
I relate to your blog, Nina. I can’t see how this would offend anyone.
I think people get offended by the word fat. I like it. It rolls off the tongue. Fat. Fat. Fat.
How about pleasantly plump.
I think I must be the only woman who never lost weight while breastfeeding.
Here are my workout excuses:
- To do it during a time when I don’t have Jack would mean either before Donny goes to work (he leaves at 5am) or after Donny gets home but…
- When Donny gets home everyone else is up and around and I can’t find the space/privacy to do so.
- I hate taking walks and I can’t afford a gym
Our excuses are similar. I don’t want to get up at 5am because I can’t get my fat ass to bed early enough and Milo wakes me up throughout the night so I don’t get a good night’s sleep. Then, when Dave gets home around 6:30, it’s all crazy with making dinner and feeding Milo that I can’t get it together to work out. If I work out too late, it will keep me up at night. GRRRR!
Here’s my ‘plan’:
I’m getting Milo vaccinated for the H1N1 and getting caught up on other shots. I’m planning to join the local spinning place (indoor cycling) and will go to the 9:30 class 2-3 days per week. I have a spin bike at home AND a jogging stroller (how pathetic that I STILL find excuses). I figure that the classes will make me feel committed (since I’m paying) and once I get into the routine, I’ll use my home exercise bike and go running.
I’ve been here before and can honestly say: Getting started IS the hardest part. I know I just need to get a routine started and break my slump.
I think the main reasons I lost so much weight while BFing were because I couldn’t eat anything with dairy or egg in it and Milo wouldn’t eat baby food so he was constantly nursing, to make up for not eating. Plus, I was way stressed out.
I gained weight while breast-feeding Alanna. You are NOT alone
I must say, I agree with you. James is HOT.
Oh, and I lost 25 pounds on Weight Watchers, but still feel like I have 15 to go. I am 5′6″ and not ashamed to post my weight here, I am about 150 pounds right now. I HATE IT. Pre babies, like talking 7 years and 9 months ago this coming Monday, I was 136 pounds, and looking back, I was HOT!!! But back then, my stupid 24 year old self thought I was FAT! WTH!
My problem is, I lost the motivation to go to WW when it got warmer out. I also have a hard time finding time to hit the gym because of childcare issues. (My husband works INSANE hours.) I would love some sort of home equipment because I think i would be more likely to use it in my home.
I love WW, but I need the meetings to succeed. Finding the time and money for meetings can be tough. Check out freecycle.org In my area I’ve seen lots of people giving away exercise equipment.
I love this blog. You described exactly why I’m carrying about 10-15 extra pounds now (and have before at various points in my life). No, it’s not a lot and it doesn’t make me “fat”, but it does make me feel lazy, out of shape, and bad about myself. I know I just need to focus, exercise, and eat better things in smaller portions, but I’m good at coming up with excuses too.
My current excuse is that we’re moving, I can’t cook healthy things in a half packed kitchen, and our exercise equipment is packed or buried under boxes. It’s a pretty good one, no?
That’s the worst part of carrying weight you don’t want – how it makes you feel. Ugh.
Fat is a very emotive subject, but I’m not scared of the word. I’ve been struggling with my weight almost my whole life since my mum put me on my first diet aged about 6. Yep, I said 6!! She was fat and didn’t want the same for me, but unwittingly she gave me the idea that I was wrong/abnormal and it made food into the enemy. I think had I been left to my own devices it all would’ve come off at puberty, as I was hella active, but instead I’ve constantly thought I was already soiled so what’s another 10 lbs. Let me just say to clarify I am fat because I’ve eaten too much and exercised too little. I’m not one of those fat people who blames it on hormones. I have thyroid disease but it’s under control so I know it’s all on ME. My relationship with food is way fucked up.
I was muddling along OK as a reasonably fat woman for years, had a miscarriage, went loopy and ate myself stupid. I then piled on even more weight quickly, and didn’t lose much of it. I carried on with life as you do, until auto-immune disease struck. I didn’t know how shit things were going to turn out, and I suppose I’d always kidded myself I could lose weight at any time, but I just yo-yo’d all over the place. Now my health is so bad I HAVE to lose weight. It’s no longer about looks, it’s about not being riddled with arthritis, and not being in screaming pain most of the time. It’s about being healthy and having a long life. I’m going to Slimming World and my progress is slow, as I can’t take as much exercise as I’d like, but I’m losing about 2 lbs a week and I know I’ll get there.
To address the comment about fat people not being happy about themselves, I’d have to agree. I’ve always put a brave face on it as I’m a very optimistic person, but I know that when I’m a slinky bitch I’m going to be out on the town all the time showing my sexy self off. Being fatter has diminished my personality.
Can I just say I only want to get down to a healthy weight. I’m not at all interested in this size 0 bollocks. I actually think FIT and healthy larger ladies such as Queen Latifah rock it, and that we should all only aspire to achieving a weight which suits our natural frame.
Thank you for posting this. People recently have been commenting to and about my soon to be seven year old daughter and her “belly”, and it’s PISSING ME OFF. She is a little girl, and let me tell you, there is no way on this earth I would think of making her “diet.” I think as she gets more active and social, and my crap when she finally starts getting some height, she will thin out. My little girls problem is she is short. At a year old she was measuring the size of a nine month old. And now, at 7, she is barely taller than her four and half year old brother. But is she fat? Nope. She is 7 wearing a 6x, or 7 clothes. They are way long, but they fit the waist. But I was starting to feel pressure and wondering if i was leading her to a life of obesity by not curbing her appetite now. But your post helped to reassure me that I am doing the right thing by letting it go.
For the record, I do provide her with a ton of healthy snack choices and very few “junk” ones. I grew up hungry, I will not have that for my children.
It’s my pleasure! I’m sure your daughter will thank you later for not putting her on a diet now. I know that if I have children I will tell them everyone is different and that they are fine and special just how they are. I think encouraging a child to be more active and doing activities with them is a better way to go about things than putting them on a diet. I also think it’s about not letting relatives and family friends tease a child about their weight, as happened to me. A child will get enough teasing at school if they are a little overweight without being subjected to it at home, which should be a refuge, and any ‘well meaning’ relatives should be told to shut up. I know my mum meant well for me, so it just shows how easy it is to scar a child for life. It sounds like you are a great mum, and I’m sure as your daughter gets taller she will thin out and not have any issues with food at all.
I used to toss the word fat around with little regard. Then after I had Kali, but before I lost that weight, I stopped. Now, weighing more than I ever have in my life, I not only use it, I claim it. Fuck it. It’s a word.
Losing 2lbs per week is the best way to go. You’ll be more successful keeping it off. We don’t gain 10lbs a week, yet when we diet we expect to lose 10lbs a week. I figure it took me nine months to gain baby weight. I’ll give myself till next August to get rid of it.
You’re right (of course!) we don’t put it on in a flash so we shouldn’t expect to take it off in a hurry, either but I’m an Aries and thus impatient!
I’m trying to remind myself that it took me at least 10 years of lax living to get into this mess. Even if it takes me 2 years to sort myself out it doesn’t matter as the time is going to pass anyway, so I may as well spend it heading in the right direction. Also, I don’t want to end up looking like one of those dogs with too much skin if I lose weight too fast…ugh! Next August sounds like a sensible amount of time to lose at a steady pace without having to starve yourself, as there’s just too much nice food out there!
Dude, I feel you (kind of). I gained like 25-30 lbs over the past year or two, than i recently quit smoking and gained 8 more. Ick!
Long story short, I signed up for a personal trainer. It’s expensive as hell and hurts like a mother, but it seems to be working FAST!
I hate to spend so much money (about a dollar a minute), but I tell myself, what’s better than investing in myself?
Amen. And if it makes you feel good and makes you healthier, it’s money well spent.
Also, what the hell is up with Tyra Banks? She was all, “big and beautifu” (even though she was never THAT big), but now she’s skinny as a rail! WTF?
i dont like tyra, she is flaky and comes off quite fake. 1 minute she’s telling girls to say so what and love yourself, then she’s saying you gotta change ‘cus the world will not accept your type of beauty. she needs to make up her mind.
I haven’t seen her lately, but I heard she’s lost some weight.
i dont like her either. she pisses me off. esp with this seasons top model. where the hell are the short people?? I want to see midgets!!! (ok a little extreme i know…) but you ladies are right. shes very hypocritical. she talks about how big and beautiful embrace it blah blah blah but then shes lost all this weight and its noticeable. on top of that, i remember her saying short is an issue for the modeling world and then there she goes casting “short” people.
Flake. Complete Flake.
I do not like my current size being over 200 lbs is not fun. I do not embrace that shit. I was happiest at 175. thick but no muffin top. I would never want to be the size I was at 18. no curves no thighs or ass, but I would be happy if my thighs didn’t rub together.
I accept my current weight and make it work for me, by not fooling myself into thinking I can wear the same clothes my 120 lb co-worker could wear. So what am I doing right now, trying to drop 30 lbs by May. And it seems quite daunting. But I have set goals. at 10 lbs I can buy a new pair of boots. at 20 lbs, some clothes, and at 30 lbs, i think I will just eat an apple so I don’t have to return the boots or the clothes.
No, I am not what people consider fat. But I feel fat and not totally myself. Being fat-ish freaking sucks.
LMAO @ return the boots and clothes.
Yes, I like that. Fat-ish.
I’m one of those that is fat and totally unhappy about it, but I keep making excuses and not doing anything about it consistently. I finally found a program that works for me (lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks) and as soon as I got rid of my insulin resistance, what did I do? Went off the program. WTF? Now I’m paying the price…I just got out of the hospital for a herniated disc that could have been avoided had I kept losing the weight. I can’t even walk or put my damn pants on because I’m in so much pain. I’d like to think this was the wakeup call I needed to get consistent and lose this damn fat, but what did I have hubby buy yesterday because I needed comfort? Cupcakes. What will it take? How will I find the motivation? I guess it can only come from within. I’m so TIRED of being fat…and it’s killing me.
Ugh. I’m sorry to hear that.
My knees ache. Why? Because I’m walking around with the equivalent of Kali on my back.
I’m losing 10 to 20. I’m 4′11″ petite (but 5′2″ in those good heels) and i can say my “thickness” i don’t like even though i’ve been told it’s in the “right” places. My friends would say 20 is too much for me and I’d be “ugly skinny” but what’s the harm in aiming for the sky??? 130 is fatassness for my height. If i fail- i’ll still be pretty damn close.
starting right away i’ve been riding my bike, purchased new wii fit plus, replaced all my sugar with splenda, and completely revamped my eating habits for a better lifestyle… after i finish my first residency (I got accepted into my MFA program! YAY!) realistically i’m going to join the gym and last resort will be to pay the dayum money for a trainer if i don’t see results. i gots ta be fly fa ME in the summer. i TOTALLY feel you on being hot in front of other hot people. even if you aren’t REALLY lookin doesn’t matter– I do this for meeeeee! i’m a lazy wench though, so if it’s not fun i won’t do it and i truly hate to exercise so changing my eating is going to be the best way to go for me.
honestly, i’ve never been as big as i am now and even though it’s proportioned- I still don’t like it. i hate fat. I don’t like fat on me or really on anyone else. it sucks. especially healthwise.
BTW. i got about 2 chapters in reading fluke and couldn’t get into it. if you can spoil it enough to say something about how it gets better i may pick it up again. otherwise… i’ll catch up to y’all on the next book.
love u super much nina.
Congrats on the MFA program!
Sounds like you’re on the right track.
It’s an acquired taste. re: Fluke. Hopefully you’ll enjoy the next selection more.
This was a DAMN GOOD blog today!!!! I am going to print this baby and plaster it all over the kitchen and wherever else culinary crime scenes have occurred.
I have been fat ALL my life. Literally. When I was younger, my parents kept me active but despite all the sports and activities, skinny was never achieved. Now that I am older, It’s more of an issue than ever to me. I am a world class procrastinator! Knowing that Atkins worked for me along with water aerobics and walking, in the back of my mind I keep hearing a little voice say, ” All that stuff will be there tomorrow, girl! Go’on and murder that pint of ice cream.”
Nina, you will always be my “shero”! lol
We gotta get our shit together.
You know I get it.
I feel hella overweight now, but I look back at photos at times when I also thought I was hella fat and thought, “Damn. You were hot”
PS-You DID look good in those dinner photos with James. I am so glad you just went.
First of all… “I don’t care what else is going on in your life, if someone told you that you could swallow one pill and get rid of that FUPA or stop having your muffin top muffining over the top of your jeans, you’d swallow that bitch before they could offer you a glass of water.”
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No truer words have been spoken.
And I remember when you went to that party for James. I never would have guessed you were feeling that way (I thought you were worried because you’re softer spoken in person than in writing) but I totally relate to both things. I’m far less thin and fabulous in person
Star Jones – I remember she did a Christmas special once where she was cooking with Al Roker who was also fat at the time. They were adding butter as they exerted themselves stirring the sauce, Star Jones was out of breath before the creme fraiche hit the pan
And me, I keep trying. I’ve been doing very well the last few months eating healthy foods and going to the gym, but damn if it isn’t slow going.
I saw some big girls on Tyra Banks and they said they loved being fat. Their men wanted them bigger.
I’m 5′2″ 130lbs and have a big ole fat roll that hangs over my jeans when I sit down. I hate it. But do I do sit ups? No. Do I eat cookies all the time? Yes.
I haven’t been around in a while, aren’t you pregnant with #3 yet Nina??
Um, no. My vagina is closed to withdrawals. Jack is the last.
And that comment about Star Jones coughing up powdered suger…freaking hilarious. Now I remember why I faithfully read your blogs…
It’s funny how things happen in life to drive home your own thoughts and desires. I told my husband to pick the kids up today from school because I was going to sign us all up for a family membership to the local YMCA. He wants to start lifting again, I need to work out, and the kids want to get back into swimming and dancing, everyone wins. So your blog came at just the right time, because I was sitting here eating lunch trying to think of what else I could do instead of taking the time to go over and get it handled.
I am overweight from lack of excercise, not eating properly, and having 4 children I’m not happy with it. I look at my wonderful business suits I can fit into, my beautiful stillettos I can’t bear to wear cus my ankles can’t support the extra baggage I carry. But I love being Me!!! I think I truly am TCTBTF, but don’t stick with what I know works for me. I’ve started eating better, and doing Tae Bo at homes, but I’m not seeing the results like I want. I know part of it is because I focus so much on the family I don’t take time for me. Joining the gym will give me that. The kids can play in the nursery while I work out.
So, thanks Nina for the blog and the motivation to change my circumstance since it was me hindering it.
And comment of the day goes to Nina, with:
” My vagina is closed to withdrawals. Jack is the last.”
I get what you mean with this and one of the things I appreciate about you is the fact that you know how to pull attention with titles and opening lines. You crack me up.
But no, I don’t think anyone is happy being at an unhealthy weight – for their body type. There is a difference between being unhappy because you think you should have a different body type than the one you have and being unhappy because you are walking around with excess weight and are out of shape. Every person knows what that right ’shape/fitness level’ is for them and when they have achieved it, they feel good, vibrant, and that feeling alone transforms them.
Not much of a segue there…I meant I knew what you meant about the blog, not the vag withdrawals. Being a c-section women, mine has always been closed for withdrawals. It is my womb that needs a lock put on it. And it is. This time, I am getting my tubes tied in pretty little celebratory bows that are double knotted.
No offense taken here. I’m trying to make healthier choices and get more exercise. I just need to find something I can stick to that works with my particular schedule. Learning how to cook wouldn’t hurt either. I tend to make the bad choices for convenience and lack of money. I started the 50 Million Pound Challenge and found that system to be ideal as far as laying everything out for you, but with what I make, it ended up being way too pricey for me. I just need to do more research so I know what adjustments to make. I’m not exactly thrilled with my body at the moment, but I feel a hell of a lot better now than when I was thinner and thought I was overweight. I think a lot of that has to do with my current boyfriend. He’s so tall and thin yet always compliments my physique, so it doesn’t become an obsession where I feel I need to change. I want to make changes for my health and not because I’m feeling less than. Knowing that someone appreciates you for who you are makes you want to be around longer to enjoy them.
P.S.-LOL@FUPA. I thought that was something my boyfriend made up!
Am I the only one who wants to be linked immediately to the oral sex blog?
I wrote it for PointlessBanter.net and I think it’s long gone.
Don’t stir up shit.
Thank God for expiration dates. *wink*
Oh I know how this feels… It’s like I could have written this blog myself.
I’m newly pregnant now and realizing my diet days are over for a while. I have to take care of myself and the baby by eating right but I have to watch myself gain weight when I want to watch myself LOSE weight. It sucks. I’m so excited to have a baby but I’m scared of becoming even fatter than before and having to start with MORE weight when I can diet again. *sigh* I’ll figure it out though… if you want it bad enough, you’ll do what it takes.
Congratulations!!
Just try to eat healthy. Don’t worry about eating too much because your body is going to demand what it needs and it needs a lot when you’re pregnant. Trust me, I know. It’s the quality of what you eat, not the quantity. And maybe after the baby is born you’ll find yourself super motivated to get serious.
What are you waiting for, Nina? Life is too short to spend it being unhappy.
I have struggled for years to lose weight after having 3 kids. I finally kicked myself in the butt and did it. It took 6 months to reach my goal weight once I really started doing the right things and stopped making excuses.
I can’t put into words how much happier I am now, and what a better mom and wife I can be. Self confidence is a powerful thing, and it affects EVERY part of my life – not just at the beach.
You say you know how to lose weight (face it, we all do – we just have to stick with it), so why keep putting it off? Your children will appreciate having a healthy, happy mom.
Good Luck, I wish you all the best!
Thank you! And it’s about to be ON!
I just started reading your blog but I love it so far. I nominated you for a Kreativ award. You have to go to my page to retrieve it and send to someone else. Good luck with everything~
Hi Nina…just thought I’d say I love this post….and I agree with you 100%.
Tracy
This is my first time coming across your blog, and I have to first off tell you I absolutely enjoyed every moment of it! Your writing style is absolutely awesome!
As for this issue, I agree absolutely 100%, being overweight does suck, and like most people when I rapidly gained weight I did absolutely nothing to get rid of it, but suffered silently and tried my best to wear my “fat girl” clothes and blend into the background. I have since lost that weight (by a stroke of luck actually–I got a part time job at a retail store that made you run around like a chicken with its head cut off, so it was like an 8 hour workout without an opportunity for binge eating at least 4 times a week) and I have realized how much easier absolutely everything is–even something as simple as crouching down to pick up something that fell on the floor. And I feel so much more powerful, confident, and sexy. I’m not a twig, and not at my skinniest, but I’m at a healthy, comfortable weight for me, one that allows me to keep my bigger boobs and fills out my white girl bum (I feel you for sure on that one) but still lets me have a nice slim face and flat tummy.
The thing that drives me more crazy than these people who are in denial that they are not happy with their size, are the people who bitch and moan all day everyday about how unhappy they are with their weight and about how fat and gross they feel, but who refuse to take a walk, persist in covering everything they eat with extra fat mayo, and insist on eating the entire double decker cake each night for dessert because they were “good” today and only had a salad for dinner…but yet can’t understand why they just can’t lose weight, are always blaming their genetics, and hate all the “lucky” skinny girls who are just born that way.
I think, as you said, people just need to learn to take more responsibility for themselves and their conditions.
Again, great post, thanks!
I love this post! You are spot on!
I eat healthy everyday and exercise is my religion, I’ll be damned if my 5′7 frame ever steps outside of a size 4.
I’m also tired of all the people hating on women that maintain thin bodies that actually look good. The funniest part of it all is that these kind of people only maintain this attitude until they finally start losing all of their excess weight, then their whole game about body image switches up (i.e. Tyra Banks).