Now we also have a two year old son. He doesn’t always want to lay down when he is tired. He can be rubbing his eyes yawning bout to fall out tired and will not just lay down and rest. So, there have been times where I’ve placed him in his crib and allowed him to cry it out. I don’t think it’s ever lasted longer then 7 or 8 minutes then he’s out for the count.

I think in each situation it’s different. Parents know their child(ren) best and know what is going to work and what isn’t. If it’s better to let them cry it out versus you doing something ignorant and landing in jail, I say let the kid cry it out. But if your just being lazy then I say suck it up and take care of your kid.

My son is an appalling sleeper. I mean REALLY bad. We’ve tried a lot of things but leaving him to ‘cry it out’ is not one them.

It’s not that I’m against it so much, I think it probably works fine for SOME children. But I am never, ever going to think that leaving my baby to sob hysterically and work himself up to such a state where he is sick (which was the result the few brief times we experimented with it) can ever be a good idea. It is also not the way I want to teach my baby to sleep, or what I want to teach my baby ABOUT sleep. Kai needs what he needs, I can’t change him (nor would I want to) and for him part of what he needs is contact and reassurance at night. I’m ok with that.

I do believe in self-soothing, but only when the baby is ready. I think it is ok for baby’s to need their parents at night when they are little, that parenting shouldn’t end at 7pm. So we’re going with the slow and steady approach, letting Kai set the pace – and it’s working! At 12 months old Kai is transitioning well from co-sleeping to cot sleeping, learning to settle himself, sleeping longer stretches.

I don’t judge parents that resort to ‘crying it out’ though. God only knows I have had so many nights when all I wanted to do was shut the door and walk away – we all have our limits.

I blog a lot about sleep if anyone is having similar issues (sorry Nina for the plug!)

The PB and I have actually been incredibly laid back in our parenting style – we’re kind of old hippies in an updated non pot smoking way – and we still managed to raise an honour student with no current criminal record.

I figure as long as you love them lots, tell them there’s no one in the world better, and insist on respect for self, parents, property and others, you’ll raise great kids.

As you know with Kali, the time they spend crying is over in the blink of an eye, but the things you do to create those love bonds when they’re tiny last a lifetime.

I’m not saying crying it out is easy or fun or right for every family, but it was successful for us. My kids, now 15 and 28 months, sleep from about 7:45 to 5:45 without a peep 90% of the time. When they do wake up at night now, it’s usually because they’re sick, teething, or having a nightmare. We get up and comfort them for a few minutes, get some ibuprofen if they need it, and put them back to bed.