Class Act
August 31, 2009 by nina
Filed under Mommy Monday
For years now I’ve wanted to get Kali involved in some kind of extra curricular activity. It’s been hard because most activities are ridiculously expensive and Kali is ridiculously picky.
When she was four she took ballet at her preschool for a year. She enjoyed it, but became too old for that particular program once she started kindergarten. Since then, we looked into piano lessons and soccer. Both were very expensive. We were thisclose to signing her up for soccer, but when we explained that she’d have to attend weekly practice and compete against other teams, her interest quickly waned. Thank God too, because the costly registration and uniform fees were non-refundable.
A few weeks ago, Kali’s school sent home some information on local activities for kids. One that caught my eye was a creative arts program. The class meets once a week for an hour to learn acting, dance, and video production. They put on two performances a year and it was only $50 a month. I told Kali we’d be going to the signup – with complimentary pizza and beverages – whether she liked it or not.
She did not.
She hit the roof. She insisted that she’d be no good at singing, dancing, and acting and that she didn’t want to talk in front of other people. I explained to her that she had no idea what she was good at because she refused to try anything. She agreed to go simply for the free food and also, the small minor detail that she really had no damn choice.
Now, I’m not a fan of parents pushing their kids to participate in programs against their will, but my child has never tried anything past the elementary ballet lessons. I figured I’d pay for it for a month or two and if she didn’t like it – or sucked at it – I’d pull her out.
Saturday, my Mom and I took Kali and my little sis (who is very much interested in the performing arts) to the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet place in order to sign up for the program. I’d warned Kali before we left, “Don’t get there and act like you’ve never had anything. You can have one slice of pizza, maybe two, and something to drink.”
It was the ghettoest thing I’ve ever seen. There was no organization at all. The director who ran the program looked like she’d had a Xanax shake before we got there. There were no forms to fill out, no program schedule and the website promised that each child would receive a bag of items needed for class complete with a journal – I didn’t see those either.
The director floated around talking to each parent without saying much of anything. Kali sat and ate her two slices of pizza with a smug look on her face. She knew I was not feeling it. When the director made her way to our table, she couldn’t even tell me the exact address of where the classes would be held. She was not getting my $50!
“Mommy, can I get more pizza and maybe a brownie?”
“Sure, Kali. Eat up.”
Not all is lost. Friday, her school sent home a sign-up sheet for a book club. Every other week Kali will stay after school for an hour to meet with the club. They discuss the assigned books and come up with questions about what they read. Then they practice competing with each other using a buzzer to answer the questions. The ten best participants will make up a team that competes against other book clubs in the county in February. Cost? $5 to cover the snacks provided at the meetings.
“I don’t want to do it!”
“But you like to read!”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to do the buzzer thing.”
“Are you kidding? Buzzers are fun! I’m all about buzzing in before the other guy. It’s awesome!”
“I don’t want to compete on a stage and have everyone looking at me.”
Now, I reason that if she doesn’t like the competition part of the meetings, she’ll suck at it and won’t make the team. And that’s fine. But I want her to have the experience of discussing books with other students. Book clubs are fun!
“Fine! But I’m only going cause there’s gonna be snacks!”
“Yeah, that and I’m making you.”
Are you sensing a pattern here?
Nina is a 34-year-old mother, wife and writer who spends her days blogging, studying, changing diapers and watching ridiculous amounts of TV. She currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia, with her husband, two children and three TiVos.
you know there is good money in competative eating
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LikeI only read this blog because I have snacks to go with it.
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LikeI'm much like you where I don't think it's fair to force your kid to do things, but I must admit I do/did make my kids take swim lessons. I think is a great life skill to have and believe every person should know how to swim....
Ok, so away from my rant on swimming. I think that what you're doing for Kali is a good thing. Some children are naturally introverted and may not try new things without the added push and support from friends or family. Might be similar to times where you blogged about her not wanting to try the fish tacos or other new foods, but that added push from mom helped (or did you guys make her chicken nuggets instead?) Anyway I think Kali may find that she likes the Book Club.
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LikeI'm all for gymnastics but I know you ain't having it.
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LikeDamn everything costs anymore. I was in a shitload of school activities when I was in school, including, football, baseball and hockey, and don't remember ever having to pay anything.
Friend of mine had to pay 300 bucks for little league football last year and this year 190 for a 30 dollar jersey(someones getting rich).
I hope the pizza was good.
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LikeI just signed Dei up for Girls on The Run, she actually asked to be in it since her Dr told her she needs to exercise more. I had her take piano lessons until it stressed her out too much (she was in the French program at the time ).
I think that we over involve our kids, and i think a lot of parents do it to live vicariously...on the flip side I also think kids dont leave the house enough...so its a precarious balance.
If your kid has a passion...loves to dance or sing or run, then support that passion and get them lessons if you can afford it, or let them express it in the house ( especially the running!! ) but if they dont love it, dont stress yourself out to pay for things or provide shuttle service just because its the thing to do.
As for the lovely Kali, sounds like she is more afraid of public display/notice...she wants to be behind the scenes, maybe getting her involved in something like yearbook or news (journalism what? ) or photography might be more her speed
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LikeMy babies are grown now but Nik tried everything and didn't really care for much but I let her do it...the only one I regret was the damn 700 bucks I paid for karate that she went to maybe twice. My boys played competitive baseball and rec soccer and then when they got to high school they played high school basketball. They loved every minute of it and since there was such a high priority placed on good grades AND good behavior (in AND out of school) they never got into trouble once. My oldest boy got a scholarship for basketball out of it and a love of sports and competing that I still appreciate. I think the book club sounds awesome. I would have loved that in school.
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LikeWe are just starting to suss out activities for Sol...mostly just thinking about swimming lessons for both of them but they make it so hard to sign up. Well, if you are lazy, occupied by deadlines and pregnant like me, it feels hard. In order to sign up for the lessons you have to make an appointment for your child's level to be evaluated. I keep thinking, "Look, my kid is four he CAN'T SWIM. Evaluation done. Tell me what class to sign up for, the cost, the schedule...See? Isn't that simple???"
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LikeI am at my best when I am crazy busy. Raeleens schedule for her kids is much similare to my own in high school: marching band concert band jazz band, business program we operated 2 stores 1 at the hs and 1 at the mall. tennis, peer mediation, and i had a part time job at wendy's. Sine I work full time i always have some side gis going on, volunteering or working a prt time job or all three. when i am not on the go i get restless and bored.
I think Kali will really get into the book club once she gives it a chance.
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LikeWell my kids do everything and it is damned exhausting on the taxi driver (me). Currently my son is just doing soccer so that is twice a week practice and twice a week games, my daughter is a highschool cheerleader 4 x a week practice after school til 5:30, Friday night games some as far away as 4 hours (and no she is not riding the bus so mom gets to drive to those). Friday she hurt herself so she also now goes to bumps and bruises a free physical therapy program for high school athletes, she is also part of the drama dept so soon rehersals for the fall production will start. Did I mention we live 25 miles from the school.
Winter skiing, drama and maybe cheering, Spring looks like baseball and tennis
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LikeGood Lord, when do they do homework and sleep?!
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LikeJason is in bed by 9, Amanda by 10, homework starts when they walk through the door and I start dinner, they do it at the kitchen table so I can help if necessary. Amanda has blocked classes so that helps so all homework has 2 days to be completed. Jason get a packet for the week so we do as much as we can every night and not just what is required for the night so we can get it all done by Friday.
I on the other hand am lucky to be in bed by 12 and get up at six so sleep is a little lacking for the taxi driver.
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LikeWe had something like that in my school called Battle of the Books. We had assigned books to read and then were put in teams to answer questions about all the diffrent books that were on the list. I had a HUGE fear of being in front of people to but I knew my shit and was excited to let everyone there know that I knew my shit. We ended up being 2nd in the district cause my teamed sucked, and didn't re-read the books like their GENIUS of a teamate did....lol
I really think she'll end up enjoying it.
I yell at my grandmother everyday for not putting me in some sort of dance class. Yup, everytime I run into the wall or some other stationary object I give here the look of "Well, had you put my ass in some ballet..."
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