True Blood – S2E4 “Shake and Fingerpop”

Previously on True Blood: Sookie is attacked by a minotaur. Maryann lays into Tara’s mother for sucking so badly. Sookie rescues Lafayette from Eric’s basement and offers her services in trying to find out what happened to Godric. Sam prepares to leave town, but not before a late night swim with the new waitress, Daphne (who sports minotaur scars.) Sam warns Tara against Maryann. Sookie asks Tara to move in with her which doesn’t please Maryann. Jessica gets close to Hoyt. Jason makes friends and enemies at Jesus Camp.

And now…

Jason is hazed by his fellow Jesus campers. He doesn’t think it’s funny that they all pretended to be slain by a vampire. Mainly because he damn near shit himself when they did.

Bill loses his shit when he finds Jessica making out with Hoyt. He throws Hoyt out for his own protection. Jessica swears she only wanted to make out with him because she’d never kissed a boy before being turned. She’s all giggly and cute and ten times more likable than Sookie’s ditzy ass. Bill and Sookie discuss the difference between when he was made (vampires had to hide) and now (Jessica can try to walk the line between vampire world and human world.) He agrees to bring Jessica along to Dallas.

Sam swims with Daphne. Sam defends Bon Temps against Daphne’s claims that it’s just a hick town. He admits that he’d been contemplating leaving town. They make plans to go out for breakfast and he notices the scars when she gets out of the water.

Tara talks to Sookie on the phone and tells her she’ll move in. When Maryann comes in she tells her she’s leaving. Maryann is disappointed, but gives her blessing.

At Jesus Camp, Jason, Luke, and another guy discuss who the first vampire was. They toss out Cane and Lazarus, but Jason suggests Jesus. That goes over well.

Tara arrives at Sookie’s and Sookie gives her a birthday present. It’s the framed picture of them as children with Sookie’s Grandma – the one from the fireplace. What a cheap gift. Tara wants to know why they’re going to Dallas and she figures out that the vampires are using Sookie’s abilities again. Sookie defends the trip and says she’s doing it because of Lafayette. Tara admits she didn’t know that Lafayette was back and she wants to know what happened to him.

Sheriff Dearborne and Deputy Kenya are with the coroner looking at Ms. Janelle’s clawed body. He tells the cops that the claw marks had poison which paralyzed her and she would have been alive when her heart was torn out. Andy comes in and asks Kenya about the pig Tara said she saw the night she ran off the road. Kenya said there was no pig. Tara made it up. Andy says he saw the pig in a dollhouse (at Maryann’s.) The sheriff tells Andy he’s drunk and can’t be counted on. He makes him hand in his badge and gun.

Poor Andy is going to be the first one on to Maryann and no one will believe him.

Tara shows up at Lafayette’s and yells at him for not telling her what happened to him. She wants to stay with him, but he’s not in the mood for company. She pleads that it’s her birthday. He makes her leave anyway.

“If you die, I’ma be pissed.”

“That’ll make two a us.” (Not “of” but “a”) LOL

Terry and Sookie speak at Merlotte’s. He tells her about Sam leaving town. Sookie confronts Sam and he pretty much tells her he has other things on his mind than her latest drama. She wants to apologize for leading him on when she thought Bill had abandoned her, but he doesn’t want to hear that either. Then she asks for time off to go to Dallas. I can’t stand her.

Steve Newlin takes Jason out practice shooting and Jason reveals that he’s seen a vampire staked in person. Newlin nearly pops a boner.

Maryann, Eggs, and Carl surprise Tara at Sookie’s with a cake and gifts. Maryann has arranged a party for her.

At the Newlin’s, Jason has a dirty, redneck, striptease fantasy about Sarah as she prepares ribs for him and Steve. At dinner, they tell Jason they think he’s ready to be a soldier of God. They want him to be a Soldier of the Sun.

At Merlotte’s, Sam cuts off Andy (the only patron) who’s getting drunk in a booth. Arlene wants to leave early to go to Tara’s birthday party. She’s not too happy when Daphne overhears and invites herself. Tara’s mother shows up with a present for Tara. Sam sends Daphne and Arlene on so he can talk to her. He admits that he and Tara aren’t together anymore, but agrees to take the present to Tara.

The private plane carrying Sookie and Bill and Jessica (in coffins) arrives at a Dallas airport hangar. The limo driver apologizes for being late and says he was supposed to be there before sundown. Sookie explains that their flight was delayed.  As he eyes the coffins being unloaded he tries to get Sookie to get into the limo, but she refuses. Sensing something fishy, she reads his mind as he coaxes “the stupid bitch” to get into the limo. He grabs her, but Bill rushes to her rescue.

Sam arrives at Tara’s party and Maryann goads him. He tells her that she can turn him into a dog in front of everyone, but she’ll also reveal herself to be whatever the hell she is. She slinks off and he spots Daphne outside.

Tara and Eggs dance. She says she loves to dance and can’t remember the last time she did. Um, episode 2, I believe. Maryann takes the present Tara’s mother sent and tosses it into the bushes. Then she walks into the woods by the house.

Bill teaches Jessica how to glamour the limo driver inside the limo. Bill and Sookie try to figure out who would send someone to kidnap her. When Bill suggests “that church,” Sookie balks. Bill explains that churches have done worse throughout history.

At Jesus Camp, Jason goes back to his room he shares with the other guys and boasts about being chosen to be a soldier. The other guys inform him he’s not the only one chosen. When he tells them he’ll also be living with the Newlins, they tease him that he’s gonna be Sarah’s plaything. Jason tries to defend her honor before storming out.

Sookie and Bill check in to the hotel while Jessica continues to glamour the limo driver in the lobby. Jessica decides to mess with him that all his worst fears will come true unless he screams, “Becky Eubanks is a stuck up whore who let Jase finger her in the church!!”

While everyone parties inside, Maryann starts chanting in the woods. Tara and Eggs move their dirty dancing upstairs to, what I hope is, Tara’s bedroom. As they have sex, everyone at the party starts getting freaky. Andy growls out a woman walking by.

Lafayette is chilling on the couch when Eric shows up at his window. Lafayette says he won’t invite him in. Eric says he can smell that Lafayette’s wound is infected and he will let Lafayette feed on his 1,000 year old blood to heal himself. Lafayette suspects that Eric wants to keep tabs on him and wants to know why. Eric says that whatever is special to Sookie intrigues him, and Lafayette is obviously special to her.

Bill tries to undo the damage that Jessica did on the limo driver once they’re up in the hotel room. Under mind control, he admits to Bill that the Fellowship of the Sun hired him, but he doesn’t know a specific person as it was done over the phone and the money left in a locker at a greyhound station. He didn’t know who he was grabbing, just that it was a human assisting the vampires in finding Godric.

OK, let me just take this moment to say, “Hallelujah!” Finally, this Jesus Camp storyline is going somewhere other than Jason boning the wife. Now, we just need to figure out who knew about the deal Sookie made with Eric to help find Godric that would have been able to leak it back to the church.

At Lafayette’s, he feeds on Eric’s arm as Eric watches TV. Eric has to bitch slap Lafayette off because Lafayette is getting down on that arm! Bill calls Eric and tells him about the ambush. He wants to know why Eric didn’t tell him he suspected the church’s involvement and Eric is all, “I don’t have to explain anything to you.” Bill is always forgetting his place! He tells him that if he doesn’t like the hierachy, he can take it up with the queen. Vampires have queens?

Speaking of queens, Lafayette is feeling much better. He’s dancing around and dropping it like it’s hot. This amuses Eric.

Jason moves into the Newlins and asks Sarah if he’s the only one living in their house. She says that they have living quarters for the soldiers, but it only sleeps  14 and he’s number 15. She says he’s also the one they have the highest hopes for. He says he’ll try not to let them down. She prances off to her room wearing a skimpy nightgown.

Sookie and Bill are making out when Eric arrives and demands to speak with Bill in the bar. He admits to Bill that he’s so concerned about Godric’s disappearance because if someone as powerful as Godric can be taken, then none of them are safe. He says that there isn’t another vampire as powerful as Godric in The New World… and yeah, apparently vampires have kings and queens. Eric also tells Bill that he will not release Sookie from their agreement. If they can’t get Godric back, the Texas vampires might start open aggression towards humans as retribution.

In the kitchen of Sookie’s house, Sam starts to make out with Daphne. When he starts to put the breaks on, and reveal somethign to her, she whispers to him that she knows what he is. He looks shocked as she leads him outside.

As Maryann chants, and Eggs and Tara have sex, people at the party start smearing food all over themselves and getting those dark demon eyes. One girl starts eating dirt. Maryann starts digging in the dirt and her hands turn into claws.

Maryann is the minotaur!

Jessica orders a male blood prostitute. The hotel doorman that drops him off, Barry, reads Sookie’s thoughts when she wonders how old the guy is. When they realize they can read each other’s thoughts, Barry runs off and Sookie chases him.