True Blood – S2E3 “Scratches”

Previously on True Blood: Tara expresses doubt over her living situation at Maryann’s and Sookie asks Tara to move in. Jason fits in a little well at Jesus Camp. Pam, Eric, and Chow feast on Lafayette. Bill refuses to allow Sookie to help Eric. Sookie takes Jessica to see her family and all hell breaks loose.

And now…

Bill is driving like a vampire bat outta hell with Jessica crying in the backseat and Sookie’s dumbass riding shotgun. Sookie is apologizing saying that Jessica just wanted to see her family. Bill reminds her that Jessica is vampire and has no family. He chews her a new one and she flounces out the car like a petulant brat. It’s nighttime and they are in the middle of nowhere and vampires are real. More proof that Sookie is a moron. Jessica tells Bill that Sookie wants him to follow her, but he ain’t tryna hear that.

As expected, Sookie finds trouble in the woods. A big, horned man-animal chases her and claws at her back. She screams and Bill comes a-running. And we have credits…

(I just want to point out now that last week Sookie said she wasn’t going out with Jessica the way she was dressed, yet Sookie herself was rocking these coochie-cutters.)

Bill catches up with Sookie and asks what did this to her. She says, “Bull… human…” Oh my God! Sookie was attacked by Seann William Scott!

Bill instructs Jessica to get the car and he rushes Sookie to Eric’s bar that I can never remember the name of. He orders Jessica home.

The new waitress, Daphne, at Merlotte’s is short at the end of the night and Sam tells her she’ll have to repay it. He’s kinda douchey about it. Tara puts her two cents in spouting advice that sounds like it came from Maryann. Sam doesn’t want to hear it and tells Tara he should stay away from Maryann.

Sookie is literally to’ up from the flo’ up. An old lady doc looks at the deep claw marks in Sookie’s back. She says that Sookie will die because she’s been poisoned. She compares her attack to being bitten by a Kimodo dragon, but with a more efficient toxin. Sookie starts foaming at the mouth and the doctor orders Eric and Bill out of the room.

In the back, Bill tells Eric what Sookie said and that his blood didn’t help heal Sookie. Eric quietly calls for Pam and Chow and they appear within seconds. He orders them to search the area of the attack. Pam says she’s wearing her favorite pumps and that Chow can do it. Eric says something to her in Swedish which, I believe, translates roughly to, “Bitch, what I say?” They leave. Eric asks how Jessica is doing and Bill admits she’s a pain in the ass. Sookie screams from the next room.

Bill and Eric come running and the doc has poured something on Sookie’s wounds that has caused them to foam and bubble up. Bill has to hold her down. The doc digs out gooey stuff from Sookie’s wounds.

At Jesus Camp, Jason has a dream that vampire Eddie has crawled into bed with him. He wakes up in a cold sweat, but more importantly, he’s shirtless. He immediately prays for guidance. Luke tells him to shut up.

Bill refuses Eric’s offer to let Sookie feed on him to regain her strength. Bill does it instead. Pam and Chow return. Pam’s shoes are fucked up. They tell Eric that the scent was both human and animal, but an animal they couldn’t place. Eric agrees that Pam’s pumps were great. Bill thanks Eric for his help and Eric says he’s sure he can think of a way for Sookie to repay him.

At Maryann’s, she’s getting the house ready for a party that night. Carl serves Tara coffee while Maryann rolls joints at the table. Tara asks why Sam hates Maryann so much. She tells Tara that Sam is most likely jealous because he lost Tara and she has moved on with Maryann’s help.

Terry (the other short-order cook) arrives at Merlotte’s at Sam’s request. He wants Terry to take care of the place while he goes out of town. Terry doesn’t really want to and Sam pretty says he ran through everyone else before asking him. Terry lights into Sam for cutting and running when things get tough. I like Terry! The writers need to give him more.

At Jesus Camp, Jason is in group therapy and he admits that he doesn’t have anything against vampires. He points out that a human who had a problem with vampires killed his girlfriend and grandmother. Jason has doubts about being there and leaves. Sarah follows. She admits that when vampires first came out of the closet she and her sister marched for their equal rights, but then vampires killed her sister when she got hooked on V. She convinces Jason that he belongs at Jesus Camp to help others not have to suffer like they did. They pray together.

Sookie wakes up in the bar and is greeted by Ginger. She suspects that Ginger is hiding something when she almost slips about Lafayette. Sookie reads her thoughts and knows that Lafayette is in the basement. Sookie does her usual annoying thing and calls Ginger out. She also hears that there’s a gun under the cash register. She pulls it on Ginger and orders her to the basement. She promises Lafayette she will get him out when she realizes Ginger doesn’t have the key. Lafayette is relieved to find out he’s not a vampire.

At Maryann’s party Eggs confides to Tara that Maryann encouraged his musical talents. Tara realizes she’s late for work, but doesn’t care if Sam fires her.

At Eric’s bar, Bill assures Sookie he had nothing to do with Lafayette’s kidnapping. Eric arrives and tells them about Lafayette’s arrangement with Eddie. Sookie insists that is no reason t have the brotha in the basement looking like Amistad. She slaps him. I want him to rip her neck open, but he doesn’t. She threatens to go to the police, and he fangs out on her telling her that he doesn’t respond well to threats.

Sam leaves Tara a voicemail saying that he’s sorry for the way he jumped at her over Maryann. He just wants her to be careful. Arlene arrives for work late. She’s covering for Sookie. It’s the least she can do since Sookie killed her homicidal fiance. Sam gets nostalgic looking at photos of his friends/coworkers on the bar.

Jessica wakes up at Bill’s house to find herself alone. She gets all dolled up and heads to Merlotte’s and meets Hoyt. As he talks, she eyes the vein in his neck. When he comments that he could stare at her smile all day long, she remembers she’s a vampire and gets all sad. He asks if she’s hungry and she tells him she’ll have a bottle of True Blood – B positive. He’s not afraid. He thinks it’s awesome. He gets her drink.

Eric tells Sookie that if she goes to Dallas to help locate Godric, he’ll let Lafayette go. Sookie says she will if he throws in $5,000 – she’s missed a lot of work and needs a new driveway. Bill ups it to $10K and he wants to go too. I don’t know why they’re wheeling and dealing! He could have Lafayette killed. Eric agrees and says that Sookie surprises him which is rare for a “breather.” She says that Eric disgusts her. He says that maybe he’ll grow on her and she says she’d prefer cancer.

He could grow on me. Shoo.

Pam brings in Lafayette. He calls her a bitch and she asks Eric if she can kick him. “You can try,” Bill says. Eric tells everyone to calm the hell down and makes Pam fetch Bill’s car.

At Maryann’s party, everyone is dancing and kissing and getting asked. Detective Andy shows up and looks around. Tara is in the hot tub with Eggs and wonders if maybe Andy shouldn’t have something better to do, like, solve a murder. That’s what I’m saying. Detective Andy sees a pig in a shed by the pool. When Maryann comes out he tells her that he’s there about the noise and wonders if she has a livestock permit for the pig. “What pig?,” she asks. The pig is gone. She convinces him to stay by offering him drinks.

At Jesus Camp, Jason is having dinner with Steve Newlin. He tells Jason how vampires killed his father, stepmother and baby brother. Sarah shows up with dessert. Steve tells Jason that Sarah must think he’s pretty special cause she doesn’t whip out her pudding for just anybody. I have a feeling Sarah wants to give Jason more than her pudding.

Jessica brings Hoyt back to Bill’s house. He thinks the house is pretty cool. He’s excited that they have a Wii. Jessica has never played one. When he tries to show her how, she kisses him, but she gets embarassed when her fangs pop out. He tells her not to be ashamed. She lunges at him.

Bill and Sookie drop Lafayette off at his house. He refuses to go to the hospital. He says he has three jobs and no health insurance. He’ll get his vet uncle to stitch up his leg tomorrow. He tells Bill to relay to Eric that he’ll remember the two weeks he was gone as a vacation. In other words, he ain’t no snitch.

On their way home, Sookie tells Bill that she used to get mad when people judged vampires for being different because it felt like they were judging her too. She’s realizing that the more she opens her mind, the more evil she sees. Bill defends Eric and points out that he saved her life. Sookie says she can still hate him.

Eric and Sookie are gonna do it. Watch.

Bill wants to glamour away all the evil Sookie has seen, but she’s glad that he can’t. She wants to know what to be afraid of. He hopes she’s not afraid of him. She says she knows there’s darkness in him, and it scares her, but she knows there’s goodness in him too. Bleh.

At Maryann’s, Tara and Eggs are getting closer in the hot tub when a topless girl offers them massages. As Eggs gets his, Tara looks around and notices people getting real freaky-deaky. What she doesn’t see is teh black eyes some of them have. She gets upset and jumps out the hot tub. Eggs chases after her, but she ain’t tryna hear it.

Sam is preparing to leave when his dog buddy shows up. Sam decides to have one last late night swim with him.

Bill and Sookie arrive at his house and she comments on all the pink clothes he bought for Jessica. They flirt and talk about Sookie dressing up in petticoats for him and I’m grossed out. They go inside to find Jessica and Hoyt making out. Bill tosses her across the room, and she swears she wasn’t going to bite him.

Sam’s dog refuses to get in the water, but Sam swims naked. Daphne shows up and Sam apologizes for being such a hardass. She decides to join him in the water. As she takes off her shirt, she has the same scratches on her back that Sookie had.

Next Sunday, July 5th, HBO will air the first three episodes of season 2 back-to-back. Then, on July 12th it’s back with an all new episode.

Harper’s Island Recaps

Ka-Blam - Hunter, the ex-boyfriend who tried to cockblock the wedding, took a shotgun blast to the chest in a booby-trapped boat after he blackmailed Trish’s father. Abbie doesn’t believe that Kelly killed herself. Shane blamed JD, Henry’s brother, for Kelly’s death and tried to kill him. The killer taunted the sheriff.

Bang – Henry and groomsmen go fishing and find Hunter’s body and a bag of money. They decide to keep the money. Trish’s stepmother is having an affair with Shea’s husband, Richard. While hiding the money in the woods, Booth shoots himself in the leg and dies in Malcolm’s arms. Malcolm decides to keep the money for himself after burying Booth.

Thwack – Trish and her Dad run into trouble during a bike ride. She tells him about Katherine’s affair with Richard. Abby finds out that her Dad has bonded with Jimmy in her absence. He’s also been keeping records on similar Wakefield-style murders up the Pacific Coast. The reverend’s body is found as a booby trap kills Trish’s father at the wedding rehearsal.

Sploosh – It’s apparent now that they have a problem after Mr. Wellington is killed during the wedding rehearsal. Everyone makes plans to leave the island. Cal realizes that a local found his ring he lost the first night on the island. When he tells Chloe about his spoiled proposal and the ring, she comes up with a way to get the ring back from the local. JD tries to clear his name by taking Abby into the woods where he says he followed a man that looks like John Wakefield. They find Uncle Marty’s body. JD becomes the prime suspect and goes on the run. He takes refuge with a scarred man in the woods. After Richard and Katherine’s affair comes to light, Richard is impaled by a harpoon.

Thrack, Splack, Sizzle – Danny and Sully realize that Malcolm has the money and listen incredulously as he explains what happened to Booth. Via flashbacks we learn that Abby came thisclose to being a victim the day Wakefield killed her mother and her mother had a prior relationship with Wakefield. The scarred man turns out to be an ex-deputy that was burned in a Wakefield attack. He tells Abby that her father is a liar and that he’s chasing the wrong man. JD is captured. Malcolm is killed as he burns the money. Madison’s spooky ass is lured to a room by the killer.

Gurgle – Madison is with the killer who calls and says that she will be killed if anyone else leaves the island. JD becomes the killer’s latest victim after the prison guard is mysteriously killed.

Seep – Katherine is next to go as Madison is found and implicates Abby’s father as the killer. The survivors try to escape on Jimmy’s boat, but he’s blown up with the boat before they can do so. There’s a chance that Wakefield was Abby’s father.

Snap – The state police sent to pick up JD are killed. The killer drops off Jimmy’s unconscious body at the hotel. Abby goes to confront her Dad and realize it’s a trap. He is killed (but assures Abby he’s her Daddy before he goes) and Wakefield reveals himself.

Splash – The survivors try to set a trap for Wakefield, but Shane dies instead. Wakefield traps Cal and Chloe. He kills Cal and Chloe kills herself to deny Wakefield the satisfaction. Signs point to Wakefield not working alone.

I am so annoyed that I wasn’t writing about this show week after week. I really like it! I like how they made it so that when the early victims were killed, it was plausible that their absence didn’t raise too many alarms. It prolonged the suspense. Once shit really hit the fan, everyone took action. The writers came up with a good way to make the number of innocents manageable (most of the people had left the island before the killer made his move on Madison.) I find myself actually caring when some of these characters die. Cal and Chloe’s death were heart-wrenching!

I had an early theory that the killer would be Booth. Yes, the guy who shot himself in the leg and bled to death. Now, I think they are trying too hard to shove Jimmy down our throats as the accomplice. My money’s on Henry.

What about you? Who do you think the other killer is? We’ll find out in two weeks during the Harper’s Island two hour season finale.

More Adventures With The Tooth Fairy

Kali still believes in Santa Claus and The Tooth Fairy. Well, not really, but we pretend that she does. This is funny since I was convinced that I wouldn’t be one of those parents to indulge such things. Then Kali started school and Santa Claus went from being some guy who works in the mall to the man responsible for providing my child with all the things she wanted for Christmas. That bastard.

I know she knows there’s no such thing as Santa Claus, and she knows I know she knows. That doesn’t stop us from leaving cookies and milk on the fireplace every Christmas Eve. I know she knows there’s no such thing as The Tooth Fairy, and she knows I know she knows. That doesn’t stop her from expecting $5 under her pillow the morning after she loses a tooth.

Now, we face a battle of wills. Who will be the first to break? I think she wants me to admit that I’ve been lying all these years and I want her to admit that she knows better and stop making me jump through damn hoops.

For example, a few week ago Kali lost two teeth within days of each other. I’ve yet to give her $10. Why? Because Kali stays up all night long in the summertime. All.Night.Long. Now that my little sister lives with us its even worse. The two of them stay up all night watching TV, playing video games, reading, giggling, and writing Robert Pattinson fan fiction… or whatever the hell it is little girls do when they stay up all night.

So, here’s where the conflict comes in: Kali has put the two teeth under her pillow and then proceeded to hang out all night. I fall asleep at a reasonable hour and then the next day, I’ve forgotten. She wakes up in the afternoon all shitty because there’s no money.

“Mommy, the Tooth Fairy didn’t come… again!”

“Really?”

“Really! And my teeth are still under the pillow.”

“Well, maybe you should go to bed at a normal hour.”

“What does that have to do with it?”

“She comes at night when you’re sleeping. You have to be in the bed so she can put the money under your pillow.”

“Okay, first of all, that’s creepy and second of all, why can’t she put the money there when I’m sleeping during the day?”

“Because that’s not the way it works! People shouldn’t sleep during the day. Little girls should go to bed at night so the tooth fairy can come. Maybe you threw her off with staying up all night. Maybe, maybe, maybe she doesn’t have time to come during the day just for you. Maybe she’s sleeping because she was out all night collecting the teeth of kids who went to sleep when they were supposed to.”

“You just said people shouldn’t sleep during the day!”

“She’s not people! She’s a fairy.”

“Yeah, and fairies are magic so it shouldn’t matter. She should come when I’m sleeping. No matter what time it is. She owes me ten dollars!”

And on and on it goes. Who will break first? Stay tuned.

Other tooth fairy adventures can be read here and here and here and here.

I Was Going to Marry Michael Jackson

I’ve felt like this once before. I remember the night there were reports that Michael Jackson had been burned during a commercial shoot. This is long before 24-hour news cycles. There was coverage on the 11pm news – which my parents were nice enough to let me stay up and watch – and that was that. I had trouble falling asleep and consoled myself by kissing my Michael Jackson poster on the back of my bedroom door. I cried as if someone I knew personally had been hurt.

But that’s how he made me feel. I felt like he was singing to me. He inspired excitement. I remember staying up late for Friday Night Videos to see Thriller. I remember taking the bus to downtown Brooklyn to buy Bad on cassette with money I had scraped together from sofa cushions, and then listening to it on the bus ride home on a Walkman just slightly smaller than the bus. I remember when the premiere of a Michael Jackson was an event.

I remember this night like it was yesterday:

I watched that performance over and over and over again and it never got old. I remember my stepfather marveling over the opening rift of “You Wanna Be Startin’ Something.”

“He’s doing that with his mouth!”

Just the other day I was jamming to, “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough” in my bedroom. The video played and I marveled at how handsome he was. As I type this clips from, “Rock With You” are playing. I just shook my head over and over again and said, “He was so fine. He was so fine.”

He was my first crush. My first love. When I was a girl, rocking my Thriller jacket, purple pleather MJ purse and dozens of MJ buttons on my clothes through the projects you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t going to marry Michael Jackson.You probably laugh – I laugh now as I type this – but I really, really, really, thought I was going to marry Michael Jackson.

He changed the way music videos were made. He changed the way artists were marketed. He was imitated and idolized by many of the young singers our kids look up to today.

He was the shit. He was da man. It seems so wrong that this has happened. I think back now, to that night when I kissed a poster goodnight, and I could have never imagined that I’d be sitting here decades later so devastated – surrounded by my kids and little sister who have no idea what a talent we just lost.

There will never, ever, be another like him.

So You Think You Can Dance – Week 3

The top 16 take to the stage.

First up?

Karla and Jonathan take on a hip-hop routine that is so bad I can’t even find a clip of it on YouTube.

Asuka and Vitolio are next. They perform a jazz routine that seemed kind of simple. I didn’t care for it.

Melissa and Ade take on the rhumba. I love them. They’re talented and likable. The package before the performance would have you think they’d suck, but they were great.

Brandon and Jeanette do a hip-hop and rock fusion number. Brandon’s hip-hop skills surprised and impressed me and I enjoyed it.

Kupono and Karla get the Viannese Waltz. Finally, I see what the judges see in her.

Randi and Evan – My favorite performance of the night. Everything from the opening in one shoe, the slow back bend going around, the booty pops and head bobs. I love Randi and Evan! Mia Michaels hooked this number up! And this song is my first iTunes download of the season.

Caitlin and Jason do a Paso Doble that left me feeling … meh. No suitable video found, well this…

Phillip and Jeanine get a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine. I looove Broadway! I do not love this performance from Phillip.

What did you guys think? Who is going home tonight?

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

You can read my review of the first Transformers movie here.

T:ROTF (no, that doesn’t stand for Transformers: Rolling on the Floor) picks up two years after the end of the first movie. Optimus Prime and his Autobot crew have been working side by side with an international military operation called NEST (Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, and other good looking soldiers) to rid the world of the remaining Decepticons. Sam (Shia Lebouf) is heading off to college and leaving behind his biker-babe girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox.)

While packing for school, Sam finds a piece of the All Spark he used to defeat Megatron (who’s chilling at the bottom of the ocean under heavy military guard) two years ago. The cube remnant embeds some freaky alien symbols in Sam’s head. They also happen to be coordinates to an ancient energy source that will revive The Fallen, the ancient Decepticon leader who can only be defeated by a Prime. Lucky for us, we have the mother of all Primes on our side. What follows is a lot of complicated plot involving a plan to black out the sun (been there, done that) and take over the world.

Who cares? I sure didn’t. I just wanted to see pretty people blowing stuff up and kick-ass robot fights and there was plenty of both. Everyone did their jobs. Megan Fox was the eye candy and she licked her sticky-glossed lips for all they were worth… and I’m guessing that’s a lot because it damn sure seems like she had her lips done since the last movie. John Turturro is back as Agent Simmons and also providing comic relief is Ramon Rodriquez as Leo, Sam’s conspiracy theorist roommate.

Michael Bay seems to have taken what people liked in the first one and amped it up here. For instance, there’s more of Sam’s hilarious parents (Kevin Dunn, Julie White) and extended Autobot/Decepticon hand-t0-hand combat.

Of course, with any film designed purely to wow and entertain you can’t delve too deeply into the plot or else you’ll find yourself lost in a sea of, “That don’t make no damn sense.” Like, why was Megatron not melted down for parts? Also, SPOILER ALERT do not read the bold text if you’ve not seen the movie or care about spoilers…. why wasn’t there more, “WTF?!,” at the fact that Decepticons can apparently look like humans? And not just look like us, but feel so real that you couldn’t they were robots even if you had your tongue in one’s mouth? You would think Sam would have been all about telling everyone involved about this little detail.

I’m not sure how I feel about Mudflap and Skids, the new Chevy compact Autobots. They shucked, they jived, one had a gold tooth, and later in the movie they admit that they can’t read. What up with that?

Also, did the end of the movie have to be the exact same as the end of the first one? Everyone protect Sam and Makaela as they race to get something important and alien to a certain location.

But again, I can forgive stuff like that when I get to watch Optimus Prime take on three Decepticons at once and kick their ass. He is seriously da man!

Another thing I found interesting – usually, in movies like this, the president is fictional and if he isn’t seen on screen he’s never referenced by name. Twice, this movie made it a point to let you know that Obama is president in the movie. Not sure why it was done, but I noticed.

TROTF is typical Michael Bay, but better… again, if you like that kind of thing. And I do. You know you’re gonna see gratuitious shots of pretty girls crying and/or screaming as something flies over their heads. You know you’re gonna see the obligatory low shot of someone getting out of a car in slo-mo and taking in their surroundings. And of course, the bitchwalk. Every Michael Bay flick has a bitchwalk.

Thankfully, this movie also had plenty of laughs and “OMG, did you see that moments” that make it worth a viewing… or two.

P.S. I cannot wait to buy this on BluRay.

True Blood – S2E2 “Keep This Party Going”

Previously on True Blood: Tara is questioned in the death of Ms. Janette. Maryann lays the smack down on Tara’s mom. Maryann tells Sam she doesn’t want his money. Sookie fights with Bill over Jessica. Eggs puts the moves on Tara. Jason joins The Fellowship of the Light ministries. Sookie and Bill make up. Lafayette’s redneck roommate in captivity finds himself Eric’s midnight snack.

And now…

Eric tosses the redneck’s bloody arm at Lafayette. He wants to know if he has blood in his hair. It’s more like he has some hair in his blood. Pam is gonna kill him, and Lafayette wants to know who Pam is… but not enough to meet her. Eric says he’s gonna meet her anyway. Ruh-roh.

Sookie and Bill bask in the afterglow. Sookie thinks Bill should go easier on Jessica. They fight over this and then start to have more make-up sex.

In Eric’s office, Pam is pissed at Eric for messing up his hair. Lafayette wants to know what they want from him so he can drop a dollar worth of dimes in getting it to them.

“Oh, don’t get it twisted Honeycomb I’m a survivor first, a capitalist second and a whole bunch of other shit after that, but a hooker dead last. So, if I got even a Jew in a Al Qaeda’s pep rally’s chance of getting black ass up out this motherfucker, I’m taking it. Now, what you want to know?”

Lafayette reluctantly admits that he thinks Jason Stackhouse took his V supplier. Eric and Pam realize this information is useless because Sookie is too important to them so killing Jason is out. I’m also completely in love with Eric when he speaks Swedish. Eric wants to know what Lafayette knows about a missing master vamp in Dallas. He doesn’t know anything and is forced back into the basement.

On the bus to Jesus camp, Jason makes a friend just as cute and dumb as he is.  His new friend, Luke, seems taken aback to find that he waited years to join the conference, but Jason was taken so quickly.

My favorite exchange? Luke says, “Don’t say shit.” “Oh, sorry.” “That’s okay. Forgive yourself.”

At Maryann’s, Tara wants to get to know Eggs better. He admits that he’s spent time in jail. The only two single black men in Bon Temps are gay and a felon. Lovely.

Sookie sees an appeal from Jessica’s parents on the news. They want their baby to come home. Sookie gets all wet-eyed looking at a picture of her and Tara as little girls with her Grandma.

At Jesus Camp, Jason and the others are given silver rings and a big “Jesus gonna shine his light down on you” speech.

Maryann takes Tara to work and stays to eat. Sam ain’t happy about it, but he takes her order anyway. She orders dam-near everything on the menu.

At Jesus Camp, Jason takes his shirt off and kicks Luke’s ass (don’t worry, I forgive myself) at Capture the Flag. The Lord sure is shining his light down on that body made for sin. Woo. Steve’s wife, Sarah, seems to notice too.

Lafayette is down in the basement with the redneck’s dead body when he notices the corpse’s metal hip. He rips apart the leg until he gets a piece of the hip he can use to break free. Damn, Lafayette don’t play!

Tara and Sookie are catching up in the back of Merlotte’s. Tara admits that staying with Maryann is getting weird. Sookie asks Tara to move in with her. Tara will think about it. When Sookie is leaving she runs into Maryann. She doesn’t take to her and can hear some weird chanting going on in Maryann’s head. Sookie reminds Tara to think about moving in with her and Maryann doesn’t seem to like that at all.

Lafayette gets out and makes his way upstairs to the bar of Fangtasia. He tries to get out, but runs into Ginger who has a gun. She’s shaky and ends up shooting him in the leg.

At Jesus Camp, this skanky Britney Spears type sings a Jesus pop song. Jason, Steve and Sarah’s new favorite, gets picked for a little role-playing activity with Sarah. During which, Jason has flashbacks to Eddie’s murder.

Bill leaves Jessica home alone while he runs out to find her suitable clothes. Jessica sheds crocodile tears of blood and convinces Sookie to take her to her parents house so she can see them through the window.

At the mall, Bill is hit on by a sales woman and he shoot her down. Eric shows up with his new boy band haircut and highlights. The sales girl thinks they’re gay. Anyway, Eric wants Bill’s permission to take Sookie to Dallas so she can help him find Godric, the missing master vamp, but Bill says no. Eric is all, “I was just asking to be nice, I’ma do what I want regardless.” That’s hot.

At Merlotte’s, Maryann’s presence seems to have an effect on everyone there. People are getting increasingly sexual and sensual and dancing all over each other. Eggs shows up and tells Tara he wants to be with her.

 

Sitting outside of Jessica’s house Sookie apologizes to her for being the reason Bill had to turn her into a vamp. Before they can get into it anymore, Jessica breaks her promise and rushes to the house. Her mother is happy to see her and invites them in.

At Jesus Camp, Luke starts hating on Jason. He warns that he’s on to Jason. Jason remembers being nice to Eddie while he was tied up in his basement and tries to push the images from his pretty and empty head.

Everyone at Merlotte’s is dancing and practically having sex. One lady displays black eyes while she dances. Sam pulls Maryann into his office and demands to know what she’s up to. She does her vibrating thing and he turns into a whimpering dog. She warns that she can do that anytime she wants to in front of his customers.

Jessica’s father comes home and starts to yell at her for running off. She fangs out on his ass.

Chow contemplates eating Lafayette, but Pam says they have to wait for Eric. Eric gives Lafayette a choice between bleeding to death or being eaten. He proposes Plan C – turn him into a vampire. Eric says he’ll take it under advisement but in the meantime, he, Pam and Chow feast on Lafayette.

Jessica’s father accuses her of letting herself be turned. She is about to eat his ass when Bill knocks down the door and commands her to stop. Sookie starts thanking Jesus for him being there, and he tells her to shut the hell up. It’s the best part of the episode. He needs to be invited inside before he can help and he glamours Jessica’s little sister into doing it.

Once inside, he throws Sookie out and claims he has to clean up her mess (though, if Jessica really wanted to go home she could have done so at anytime without a ride from Sookie, but whatever.) Sookies begs him not to kill the family. He growls and we have credits.

I suspect he’ll just glamour the hell out of everyone and then grab Jessica and beat dat ass. What do you think?

So You Think You Can Dance Week 2

I have to say that I am not surprised with Tony and Paris getting eliminated last week. Though, I’m sad to see Tony go. He was my hope for that one dancer every season that breaks out of their niche and surprises everyone. Oh well. On to week 2!

First, Randi and Evan get Jive. I really like this couple. They’re both spark plug built, fire hydrant shaped, little bitty things. Plus, he reminds me of George (T.R. Knight) on Grey’s Anatomy. I enjoyed their dance. The judges were not THAT impressed. I couldn’t tell a jive from a hand jive from a hand job so….

Ade and Melissa – Again, a couple I really like. They get contemporary with Sonja. I don’t “get” it completely, but I like it. I want the naughty ballerina to do well.

At this point, I’d like to point out that I don’t think even Lil C knows what the hell he’s talking about.

Jason and Caitlin – They get hip hop with Shane Sparks (one of my favorite choreographers.) It is the epitome of a hot ass mess. She sucks. All she did was walk around rub herself. He wasn’t that bad, but her suckiness made it hard to concentrate on him. In fact, the whole thing was hard to watch.

Jeanette and Brandon – I don’t normally like disco dancing, though I LOVE the music. This routine was insane. I respect the sheer athleticism involved in what these two did. Nice recovery at the end when she almost bust her ass, though.

Asuka and Vitolio – They get the waltz. And I loved watching it. Apparently he wasn’t as technically correct as he could have been, but the judges loved it too.

Max and Kayla – They get pop/jazz with Brian Friedman (happy to see him back this season!)  Can I just say, I don’t get the big fuss they’re making over Kayla. Do you?

Jonathan and Karla – I loved this contemporary piece and I loved the song. Can anyone tell me what movie this is from?

Phillip and Janine – I love the tango. I did not love these two doing the tango. I feel like I got screwed. I did enjoy Lil C getting called out for not knowing what the hell he was talking about.

Kupono and Ashley – Another Shane Sparks opportunity ruined! Ugh. I liked the song. I liked the choreography, and I KINDA liked the performance… but it could have been so much better. I don’t think she did as great as the judges said and I don’t think he did as poorly as they thought he did. In fact, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. There’s a great moment when she gets on her back, extends her arm, and then flexes her fingers not to the music but to the vocals. I love little details like that. I love Shane Sparks.

I don’t think they’re going home though.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I gotta go download that song from iTunes.

What did you think? Who is going home tonight?

P.S. I can’t believe none of you corrected me last week when I got Nigel’s last name wrong!

BIOBaby: The Possibility of Jack

We put a lot of time, effort, and money into Jack’s nursery. We also put a lot of love into it. We obsessed over getting the shades of blue and brown just right. I spent months agonizing over the furniture.

The end result?

He spends very little time in it. Like, almost none. I’m not that bothered by it. He’s still young. There will be plenty of time for him to build forts, not make his bed, and hide pornos in it.

I do get this bittersweet feeling any time I go in it though. See, it has this smell. I’m not sure if it’s the new furniture or all the baby stuff, but it has this smell unlike any other room in the house. It smells fresh and clean and quiet. It smells like newness.

And so every time I go in there it takes me back to this time last year when we wondered about our baby boy and what he’d look like. We wondered what he’d be like. We wondered if he’d like his room and us. We avoided themes of animals and planes or sports. Instead, it seemed better to let him discover those things on his own and decide what he liked and what would fill his living space. We were so anxious and curious during this time.

When I go in there now, I have those feelings all over again and it’s like he’s not here yet. I get to be an expectant mother again and he is back inside of me safe and warm. He can’t skin his knee or bump his head. I don’t have to worry about choking hazards or school yard bullies.

And then I feel guilty for loving that smell and swimming in that time. Because he’s here and he is beautiful. He is no longer faceless. He has personality and dislikes. He has attitude and preference. He is lovable and difficult. He is here. And it is work.

All of the possibility now has shape. It is real. And it is scary.

Where I’ve Been

1. Doing a solid for a friend… for which I’m being paid.

2. Entering flash fiction contests. My story, “At Last,” is on page 2. Join the forum and rank the stories you like. There’s some good stuff like….

“The Vigil of Clouds” on page 8.

“Frangible Choices” on page 7.

“Have Your Cake” on page 1.

You have to register before you can rank the stories, but it’s fast and easy. The forum is Flash Fiction 40 Contest.

3. Working on two other short stories. They’re creepy and twisted. I’ve discovered that I like writing about the creepy and twisted. What does that make me?

4. Getting caught up on Southland, Supernatural, Weeds, and Criminal Minds.

Blogging will commence tomorrow with a Top Ten. My Top Ten Memorable Encounters.

What about you? What have you been up to?

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