The Gentle Pull

I was going to get my daughter one because I was going to cancel the home phone but decided not to. She is the same age as Kali and I realized since we had a hoe phone she doesn't need the cell phone. plus she's just an average student in school. if she were honor roll I wouldn't hesitate to get it for her.

Also listening to my daughter last week. She asked me what my favorite genre of movie was! Genre??? She says she loves Romantic Comedies. WTF???????????

Because its just me and her I don't realize that she acts just like. Just like me. If she's not with me then she's in school. lol She pickes up on everything.

One thing I'm glad she doesn't pick up on is the latest fashiomn. We live in Brooklyn so you know all the kids have to have whats in style. Not her. She wera whatever I buy and is happy. I'm dreading when she gets to high school. Feening for Nikes. lol

K, late late response but cell providers have been able to limit the numbers dialed to what the account holder wants (at least with nextel) and then make it unable to send text messages. So you could program your number, your husband's work number, your parents' numbers and that's all she'd be able to call besides 911. Or you can give her a charged but unactivated phone and it will still dial 911 as long as there is signal, just like if you have a phone line to your house with no phone provider, you can still dial 911. Or get her a prepaid phone and make her work for her minutes. When she runs out of minutes in an emergency she'll still be able to reach 911. Or just get a prepaid and only give it to her if she does go anywhere (fieldtrips, outing with other's you don't know too well or whatever)

You get these great devices that work like mobiles, but arent. You program in certain numbers that can be called on it... I think the one I saw was called a gecko... it was like an oversized keyring.

Nina, my 7 year old niece received a cell phone for Christmas. My sister's rationale was that she and her husband cut their house phone off and exclusively use their cell phones. Well, my sister got tired of getting calls from my niece's little friends because my niece had given the number to damn near everyone. She only has possession of the phone after 7pm daily and on weekends, when the calls are free (provided that her chores and homework are done) and when she spends the night away from home (grandparents or auntie's houses). When she is with me, she is always texting and talking her lil tail off. I always check to see who she's communicating with, and it's always her little cousins, her parents/grandparents, and a couple of little school friends. And when she is not with me, she calls frequently to say hello, but not so much that it's a nuisance.

My cousin who is nine has a cellphone... then again my Aunt is bat shit crazy and will let my cousin do anything she feels like

I didn't have my own cell phone until I was like 25. Tell Kali to suck it up. Kids don't need phones.

I used to be completely anti cell phones for my daughters. I didn't see a reason for them to have one, but last Christmas my mother bought them each one. I finally caved when she told me she was getting them, with stipulations. My daughters have prepaid cell phones, when they use up their minutes THEY have to buy a new card for minutes. My mother did get the the initial card, with I think 90 minutes for each of them. We are in april and they both still have approximately 75 minutes remaining. Thats 15 minutes in 4 months. They can only call people in their phonebook, and I regularly check their sent, received, missed, dialed, etc. calls. I really thought we would be in big trouble once they got those phones, but there have been zero problems. Also, they are allowed to bring their phones to school (just in case of an emergency) but they are not allowed to even have the phones turned on. I will call their phones at random just to check. Also, their voicemail is not set up, there is no reason for it.
I guess the bottom line is that all children are different, only you can decide what is best for your daughter, because you know her better than anyone. My only suggestion would be to have stipulations.
I can't wait to hear what you decide!

My opinion is innapropriate (I think I spelled that wrong but I'm too lazy to check).
However, my 10 year old son has a cell phone that his grandfather gave him. He got the phone free with some on-line order and grandpa pays for it. But my son doesn't really use it as much as he just carries it around. He'll use it to talk to a friend once or twice a week but mostly he'll call me or Daddy. So, so far it hasn't been a problem.

i feel basically the same way about kids and cell phones that I feel about cars and designer clothing--when you can afford to pay for it, then you can have it. I can't even count how many kids I knew whose parents bought them cars, they crashed the cars then held out their hands for the keys to the new ones (and usually got them). Their parents bought them $200 shoes, they got them dirty and torn up and held out their hands waiting for the next edition of Jordans. Kids don't have any idea of the meaning of money until they have to earn some themselves. As a parent you need to buy your kid clothes and food and comforts and make sure they have reliable transportation from point A to point B and if you have the money, give them an allowance/pay for trips/sports equipment/all that good stuff. But cell phones, cars and designer clothing are all earned perks of being part of the adult world. Plus I feel the way about seeing a nine-year-old on a cell phone that you do about seeing a nine-year-old wearing pants with "Juicy" written across the ass. It just seems... wrong.

i had a (bigass) cell phone and pager way back in 1996 when 15 year olds or even grownups didn't normally have those things, but I also had a job and paid for them myself.

I got a cell phone when I was 13 because I was a freshman in high school and I started doing after school activities without my parents. Before that I never really left my parents, so I didn't need one. And I didn't get texting until this year, when I went to college.

I don't have kids, but I say don't give it to her! The most annoying thing on the planet is to see a bunch of junior high babies texting all the time. I hate those kids that seem attached to their phones.

Oh, the irony. My beloved, who texts while sitting in class, is having to face that her daughter wants to... text. Probably while in class.

By the way, you totally need to do a Top 10 Places Even I Wouldn't Text From. Although there may actually not be any...

Elijah is 13 and he doesn't even have full use of a cell phone. We have a phone that we call the "family phone" (cause I don't even want him calling it his phone)that he uses if he goes out to hang around the neighborhood or to a friends house. He can text on it only with permission and it stays in the kitchen. He gets text messages from friends at 11pm on a school night and I always wonder why their parents are letting them lay up in the bed with a cell phone. He isn't allowed to take it to school unless he is going somewhere straight from school because I don't want him tempted with it at school.

I think the mini laptop is a good idea though. I was actually thinking about getting one for Ian, my 7 year old, because 3 kids sharing one computer doesn't always work so well.

I got my daughter her cell phone when she was 12 and it was for my convenience. She was doing more and more after school things, cheerleading, volleyball, etc. She had a tournament and I was babysitting my nephews so couldn't be there all the time, this was a way to let me know when something was over when the next game started etc.

It is carried to school but turned off, she calls me when she gets home. It is not anywhere near during meal times, and it is on my desk at 9pm at night except weekends. She is now 14 and the thing I really like about it is when she is with her dad for his week, I don't have to call her dad to talk to her, I just call or text her.

I do want to add that before I got a cell phone, I was allowed a beeper.

When my beeper went off it ment either a) get my ass home or b) get my ass home NOW.

DOn't ask why I was allowed a beeper and not a cell phone. I think I pit my grandparents against each other on that one and grandpa won this time.

Do they still make beepers??? Get Kali a beeper, if only to see the expression of confusion on her face. "What?" Teach her morse code and then she can really have some fun with it. lol

I agree with your daddy and PJ...I have a feeling Dan will be notoriously old school about this subject and something similiar to PJ's sentiment will come out of his mouth.

Now, if there is some unforeseen circumstance that makes it a necessity that will be different.

I am not even kidding when I say that just recently I was talking to a friend about a really good boarding school in the area with the idea of putting the kids in for a year or two when they are adolescents and going through that "We know everything" stage so that they can practice their rebellion against an authority other than Dan and I.

But that is worse case scenario and I don't know how I would feel once we arrived at that point. I just know that from the minute I concieved I was thinking about how to survive the stage you are looking at - but like you, Kali's age would be way too young for it to arrive already - I would be thinking around 12.

I think with cellphones at a young age like that it would depend on the circumstances. Like a latch-key kid or a kid that stays after school for activities yeah because you just never know what can and may happen. But then again I don't remember staying after school for any type of activities until 5th grade which was art club and band practice. Even then I always had quarters to use the payphone.

My children have no chance at getting a cell phone until atleast age 13. My husband or I pick them up and drop them off at school and at daycare so we always know where they are. They're too young for after school activities so once again we always know where they are. And there is only a select-few people who are even allowed to take our children without us and, they have cell phones.

10-years olds are typically into diaries, giga-pets, and getting more into electronics, movies, cds, and money. I hear the Nintendo DS has been upgraded and the newest version Nintendo DSi has been released with new capabilities and doubles as a digital camera that comes with picture software where you can edit pics any way you want with stickers, captions, etc etc.

Good luck with the birthday search, I'm sure you will find something great just for Kali.

When I was 11 years old I was riding the subway and buses to and from school. This was in Brownsville, Bed-Sty, and East New York. I had 4 younger brothers and sisters in tow and a cell phone would have been great to have. As already stated, Kali is away from family only from the time she steps on the school bus in the morning until she steps off again in the afternoon.
One size does not fit all. Age, maturity and circumstances all play into the decision to get your kid a cell phone.

Shelby is 13 and has a cell phone.
She can call my cell, the house and her dad's house and dad's cell.
Oh and 911.
She does not need anything else.
She has a dell mini 10. She has no internet access on it. It is for school work and games ONLY.
If she needs internet she can use the desktop in either my bedroom or the family room.

If her friends want to talk to her they can call the house.

Kids grow way to fast. All we can do is do our best to protect them from themselves for as long as possible.

Well, guess I’m the hip mom (47 yrs old). I got my daughter a phone in 5th grade in preparation for middle school. My kids go to daycare after school. Now, my daughter is almost out of 8th grade and a professional texter -- all the kids do it. The discussion is unlimited text ,etc. If you can afford it, and you have reason to be connected with your kids in between school and their next activity, go for it. I got my son a phone this year and he rarely uses it. Different for each child. Hubby threatens he’s going to take it away!

My kids like gift cards to the electronic store and they pick out what they want, e.g., video games, iPod speakers, etc. My kids are 13 and 10.

Good luck…

A cell phone is like a pet for a child. They only think of the initial cost, but never realize how much upkeep really costs. The answer I always got growing up: When you can buy it, you can have it.

So, what say you? Cell phones for ten-year-olds? Appropriate? What about a mini laptop with parental controls up the wazoo?

Hmm... Cell phones for 10 yr olds who technically dont walk to school everyday, live in the burbs and are most likely under parental supervision nearly 24/7? I dont think so. However, if Kali was one those kids who were out all the time with their friends, whether it was at the park or movies or playdates(w.e), then one of those kiddy cell phones might not be a bad idea. Youd be able to keep her in check in terms of where she is and why she not home yet. Maybe in a couple years when she is in JHS or something(Im not too sure how it works down south) and she were out more without you, then Id think it were more appropriate.

Now a mini laptop with parental controls is not a bad idea. Ive had a computer since I was 8 and I had experience with computers well before that. Thing is if you have a desktop or another laptop she could make use of, why does she need a personal laptop? Again, if she were a little older and doing papers or something(I know in JHS I was doing papers... Damn public school robbed me of my innocense lol) then I might give a little more leeway. That is if she were my kid. ;-)

Hows your day going btw? Its pouring out here in NY. Its making me sad =(

I have been waiting to hear about your sister and Kali's interactions since they are so close in age. I am anti cell phone for the kids. You have to provide me with a super strong argument about why they need it at age 9. Example, takes the bus home from school and is prone to getting off at the wrong stop, walks home from school, or has an after school activity in which a phone may not be readily available and even then the numbers that phone would be able to call need to be limited. Mom, Dad, Grandparents, and no text capability. I do believe that texting seriously impairs a child's grammar skills with all those abbreviated words.