Should Rihanna Pay Too?

March 3, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog It Out, Bitch

Earlier, I was watching TV when a Cover Girl cosmetics commercial came on the screen. There was Rihanna, looking easy, breezy, and beautiful. I started thinking about the endorsements Chris Brown lost after the allegations that he had beaten Rihanna during an argument. In light of the recent news that not only has she been in seclusion with Chris Brown at one of Diddy’s residences, but she has forgiven him to boot, I began to wonder… should she lose her endorsements too?

I think it’s a question worth pondering.

Apparently this was taken a few days ago on Diddy's property.

Apparently this was taken a few days ago on Diddy's property.

We obviously put a lot of consideration into how we charge and sentence our criminals. We admit that not all crimes are equal. Certain crimes warrant longer sentences than others, and past offenses and other circumstances are often taken into consideration. Once someone has been convicted though, and it’s important to note that Chris Brown has not, we all know that serving one’s time isn’t always the end of it.

When someone breaks the law, and then serves their time, they expect further social stigma. These people may have difficulty getting jobs, fitting back into society, and even resuming their place amongst their own family and friends. Making poor choices becomes apart of their persona, and they lose the trust of those around them; family and strangers alike. Their image is tarnished.

Isn’t this why companies that had previously employed Chris Brown as a spokesperson dropped him after the incident? He no longer fits the image they’re trying to display.

So, what does that say about Rihanna? What happend to her was awful, and she is the victim. But if we’re willing to accept the loss of endorsements as part of Chris Brown’s punishment per the standard above (he no longer portrays the desirable image), then why not apply that Rihanna? What kind of message/image is she sending to young girls when she forgives her abuser a few short weeks after he attacks her?

I suppose you could argue that Chris Brown broke the law, and she didn’t, but assuming charges are filed, and he is punished within the legal system, shouldn’t that take care of that part of it? Obviously, we expect public figures, and Regular Joes too, but mostly public figures, to pay above and beyond. It seems we’re not satisfied until they’re brought down a peg or two. Even when people don’t break the law!

An actor on Grey’s Anatomy made a homophobic remark and viewers were demanding not only his job, but that sponsors of the show split if he weren’t punished to their satisfaction.

Let’s look at Michael Vick. A few weeks ago, it was reported that he would be doing a public service announcement for PETA once he has served his time. When he asked if, in turn, PETA would put in a good word for him should he try to return to the NFL, they countered that they would only do so if he submitted to a psychological evaluation. It seems his sanity wasn’t in question if he were spreading their message, and in a sense further paying penance, but when he wanted something from them…

I think the message is pretty clear; if you don’t live up to our expectations, if you don’t behave in a matter we agree with, and even if you’ve done your time and paid your debt to society, we have the right to further up the ante and hit you in the pocketbook even harder.

I’m not one of those parents that believe we should hold celebrities accountable for what our children do. Kali can like who she wants to, but it’s my job to make sure she understands that someone who can sing, dance, rap, or swim well isn’t someone who should serve as their guide for life. Not all parents are like me though, and not all parents like me have kids that will listen. With that in mind, should Rihanna lose her endorsements for going back with someone who alledgedly beat her? Can they cite, “We don’t want someone who displays that kind of message to represent us?”

rihanna-covergirl

What do you think?

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screw her, michael phelps and taco bell.

i dont know if this has been said but he was charged with two felonies. And although i dont agree with her choice to go back with him we have to realize something... its HER life. WE cant choose what she should or shouldnt do--- she is young and will soon come to realize that he isnt the right guy for her and you would think something like this would let her know that but --its hard i guess. I know i believed everything my daughter's dad told me [he didnt fuck me up like that but he did cheat] and i knew i could do so much better but when you love someone thats all you see. Soon enough she should be able to open her eyes.
The details of that night were released today and he fucked her up ... i mean ive never cringed that much while reading something. It just sucks thats she couldnt see hes not worth it. they are saying that cb tipped off the paparazzi to take pics. of them together because that way the public will forgive him if she has. I personally can no longer support someone capable of doing what he did.

I have no opinion when it comes to this situation because we don't know the real facts of what went on and may never know. You hear rumors she cheated with Jay-Z, she gave him herpes, she was jeajous and started the fight, he hit her, he was defending himself, etc, etc, etc.

It's unfortunate that during this time they both (rather than just Chris) didn't lose their endorsements until the case was settled. We live in a society where we're guilty until proven innocent when it's supposed to be the other way around.

I wish them both happiness and success in their futures whether it be together or apart.

I have a friend in a similar situation at the moment. Her S/O has beaten her black and blue, broken her thumb in fits of temper. But she's forgiven him every time. And she's such a strong, beautiful woman. Her reasoning is that she loves him and he wants to change. There are no children, they don't live together, she isn't financially defendant on him, and they aren't married.

But what is her father suppose to do? Both my friend and Rihanna are making a choice. They are choosing to place that person in their life. They are choosing to place themselves in a dangerous situation. Nothing you say or do will make them see the light. They have to decide. It's very frustrating. But I can understand Rihanna's father. I do not agree with what either of them are doing. You can forgive someone without placing yourself back into the line of fire. "I understand it was an accident and a one time thing Chis/whomever, and I forgive you. However, I am choosing to not to put myself in a situation in which those kinds of "accidents" and "mistakes" are likely to occer" Tada!

But you can't make the victim make that choice or say those words. In the end, these women are responsible for their own actions and choices, victim or not. All you can do is be there for them when/if they fall.

In regards to the endorsements, if the celebrity does not portray the image you are trying to achieve for your product, you change the celebrity or the image. Simple as that. If the companies decide Rihanna is not the correct face for what they are trying to put across, so be it. It's their millions. I don't buy the product for the celebrity anyway.

Sorry for the novel, Nina. :)

No problem. Thanks for sharing that and you made some good points. :-)

I don't know if I really care about her endorsements. I don't take it for granted that because someone endorses something that he is a morally-sound individual, and I hope that if I ever have kids, neither will they.

What I do find regrettable is this: celebrities and other VPPs (very public personages) have been shamed into changing relatively superficial aspects of their lifestyles in response to a bit of tabloid critism. You've got VPPs starving themselves and supporting charities and making retractions/apologies/disclaimers and trading in their vehicles/hair colors/political affiliations so that people will respect and like them. There is incredible pressure to be respected and liked. So where is the pressure on Rhianna to DTMFA, press charges, and start going around to public high schools and giving speeches on preventing and reporting domestic abuse? This is a perfect opportunity for her, as a VPP, to gain some cause-cred AND potentially save lives.

My momma always told me that the first time a man lays his hand on you, you get out of that situation immediately, because if you let him hit you once, he will certainly hit you twice, and there's never telling when that last beat-down will be the one you won't get up from.

I feel like Rhianna is being extremely selfish and irresponsible--not only with her own life, but those of others who will follow in her example. IMO she might as well be fucking ADVOCATING domestic abuse--and heroin, or cocaine, or playing with firearms, or driving drunk without a seatbelt, any other very dangerous behavior that may result in injury and/or death.

Fail.

I don't get it, I couldn't even fathom the idea of going back to someone who beat me like that..even if I did still have feelings for them my pride alone wouldn't let me go back!

I think out of all of this the thing that irritates me the most is she of all woman has every single resource available at her fingertips to help her get out of a unhealthy situation like that and she's choosing not to. I can't help but think of all the women out there practically trapped in an abusive relationship, with almost no way out. So when I think of it that way I'd like to see all of her endorsements ripped out from under her!

Truthfully though they're both really young, and only they know what happened that night, but I think it's pretty safe to say from almost all perspectives that it's not a healthy relationship.

Oh, she'll be paying soon enough. He'll be tagging that ass again real soon. And the next time around, no one is going to take her side. Its gonna just be "'tolja so!"

I ought to beat Rhiannas ass for having me feel sorry for her.

I don't know what I think about that, but I think she's a dumb shit for going back to him. But like someone else said, she'll be paying for that soon enough. It's kind of sad.

Why are we suddenly turning on Rihanna? The best info available at this point is that she was the victim of a crime. Why should she lose her livelihood? This role model/spokesperson thing can be very dicey. How many victims are going to want to come forward once they've seen her suffer for it.

I forgot to mention, this situation has been a great teaching opportunity with my teen son. His friends, of course, have all come to Chris Brown's defense. Either because they haven't been taught any better, or they are in denial and can't imagine that someone they admire could be so sick. The boys were all saying that she gave him an STD and that is why he beat her. (Seriously, middle schoolers are idiots) I was able to enlighten Eli and send him back to school armed with lots of truths to share. :)

I think a man should never hit a woman. The ONLY exceptions: if she is MUCH larger and stronger (like she has a Black belt and is a total bad ass), or she is armed and could seriously harm or kill him.

Judging by the seriousness of her injuries and his apparent lack of injury, I'd say that he was out of line and went crazy on her. No matter what she said or did to him, she did not deserve to be hit at all. She is much smaller than he is and clearly was not able to defend herself.

I think it was a horrible mistake for her to take him back, but we all know that it's a common mistake many women victims of abuse make.

I think her poor judgment is unfortunate. She is more deserving of pity than anger. She is a victim. No matter how wealthy or famous she is, she still is capable of suffering a great deal and getting seriously hurt by a man that claims to love her.

Look at Tina Turner - how many times did Ike beat the shit out of her until she had the nerve to leave him? Sometimes it takes a while for a woman to get the courage to leave. I think women in these positions need support, advocates, and compassion rather than condemnation.

But I'm a bleeding heart. I also had an abusive boyfriend. He never beat me, but threatened to kill me, verbally abused me, broke into and destroyed my apartment, harassed me, and stalked me. It was a nightmare and I was terrified of him.

We saw the pics of her face, we may not know the details but that was enough for me. If she is back with him, as reported, she needs some serious help.

Not sure what I feel about her endorsements. I know that if I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her looking up to Rihanna. But she is a victim in all this.

I think companies should choose their spokespeople more carefully. Maybe this wouldn't be an issue.

I also think Rihanna should submit to psychological testing alone with the twits from PETA.

They could. But they won't. They won't pull her endorsements because people would say they are punishing the victim. I think they should. I think she gives off a worse message now than he ever could...

Her actions state "It is ok to let your significant other beat your ass."

He will serve time (Doubtfully), she will just get her ass beat again. I HATE to be that way, but when you grow up having your mom's man beat your ass and hers, you feel bad for them the first time, but the second is all on them.

Very thought provoking... and you make some great points, things I hadn't considered.

One thought on the other side: wouldn't punishing both the victim and the perpetrator just magnify a cycle of silence that already exists in domestic violence cases?

But then it goes back to personal responsibility. Do we ignore the poor choices people make?

I'm not sure what my position on the endorsements is, really. I know I'm bothered in general at the obscene amount of money celebrities get for endorsements, so that has to be influencing my opinion.

That being said, I'm really disappointed in Rihanna's choice. I have professional (and some personal) experience working with domestic violence, and I agree with you that women stay with their abusers for many reasons, unfortunately one of them being plain old stupidity.

And yeah, forgiveness might be a beautiful thing, but I think it's coming a bit too soon. If she's going to forgive him, it ought to come after more than just promises to change from him. Like a sustained commitment to some form of counseling.

I'd pull the plug on the sponsorships if it were my brand she were representing. I also won't be sympathizing with her ass if he does it again. Call me heartless. Tell me I don't understand abuse. Whatever. The fact of the matter is, he did it, she knows he's capable of it, and she herself made the decision that she's willing to accept that kind of behavior or she wouldn't have gone back to him. I'm not saying she likes it but if it were unacceptable, she wouldn't have gone back.

Nice blog. I have a simple opinion on this. You get beat and you go back to the guy do NOT come crying back and wanting us to feel bad for you. She doesn't deserve to get hit no one does. But she has a choice to go back or not and she has now made a choice. I hope little girls and women do not look up at that move and do the same thing. It doesn't happen just once. It will happen over and over again. All she is saying by going back is go ahead i give you permission to hit me or to destroy whatever you may want to destroy because i'm not going anywhere.

I'm a firm believer that people treat you the way you allow them to. If you let people treat you like a toilet, don't be surprised when they shit on you.

Absolutely! A man will only do what a woman allows him to (and v/v). I don't want to seem like I'm bashing men because I know statistics say men are abused as well.

exactly i agree with you on that one totally

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me!

He wigged out and beat her ass... she turned around and forgave him for it. You don't think he's going to do it again the next time he's high, drunk, pissed off or bored?

Let her keep her endorsements, she'll be paying for her decision soon enough.

No one should be punished for forgiving someone.

Her losing her endorsements by forgiving someone would be retarded.

I agree with you sweetheart, but forgiving is one thing... going back for some more is another.

I think both of them should have to give back all their money for making shitty music.

co-sign.....sorry thought I was texting.

Ha ha got it, glad that there is some support of this campaign. And its not limited to these two. All artists who put out crap should be held accountable. Fall Out Boy, the Simpson sisters, the Jonas Brother and Snoop Dog are just a few on a very long list.

@Vince..totally agree...Snoop fell off bigtime!

Cover Girl could make a new ad for this..."When I've taken a beating, I just apply my easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl".

lmao.... you know you're wrong for that...lol

LOL... That was wrong, wrong wrong. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I've been on that side of the tracks before so I am not taking the issue at hand lightly, but JustC cracked me up.

Also, gotta say, I agree with MassDaddy, a few posts below this reply... She'll be paying for that decision soon enough, as unfortunate as it is. Let's hope next time she chooses more wisely. It's too bad there's got to be a next time, but I doubt this is the first time Chris Brown has ever done this. It's a shame. Truly.

I wasn't going to comment on this, but after reading some of the responses, I have to.

1. All Barbadians do not dislike being called Barbadians. Some actually dislike "Bajan". (trivial point, but I couldn't help myself) I personally don't care once the form used is pronounced correctly.

2. Lower class women in Barbados are known for their temper. So are lower class women in America, Jamaica, United Kingdom, etc. Please do not tar all Barbadian women with one abusive brush. Shame on ANY Bajan who portrays us in that light. Shame.

3. We do not know the story.

4. I am horrified that some people think she should be chastized for going back to Chris Brown. Are you serious? Abused women do not stay because of money or lack of. They stay because they are cowed and think they cannot do better/ live without the man who beats them. They stay because they truly believe their lives are worthless ..... and anyone, singer, actress or jane doe can fall victim (see that word VICTIM) to that frame of mind. Sure, she's educated, has money and she can "do better", but if she doesn't hit the point where she sees what's happening she will never walk away.
I wonder if any of you judging her decision have ever been abused.

Now, I personally can not stand "Rhi Rhi" and her nasal droning, but damnit, if the allegations of abuse are true and she has gone back she should be supported, not torn down because by tearing at her you are perpetuating the process.

As for sponsors? That is their decision. If they do not feel see portrays their image, fine, pull the cash.

Ok, I just gotta say that I don't think class has anything to do with temper. Neither does nationality. I was sharing a comment from Donny's co-worker because I found it interesting and comical that she would immediately go there upon hearing what happened to Rihanna.

I think there are a myriad of reasons that women stay in all levels of abusive relationships. At the heart of most of them, is the reason usually psychological? Sure. But sometimes, well sometimes, we give stupidity a pass. Sometimes, women know better and still do wrong. Sometimes, there's ego involved. My ex-husband and I used to get into fights that could have ended with me getting slapped up. He was terribly verbally abusive and I stayed. Why? Because most times, I didn't have anywhere else to go. Or at least I thought I didn't.

Being abused doesn't give you the only right to an opinion, and the question is, "If we all admit that we don't know the facts, but we accept that he lost endorsements without said fact based on the company's claims that they now don't agree with his image/message, what does that say about Rihanna's decision to forgive him?"

I'm sorry, but I do not agree that she should be supported simply because to not do so would be perpetuating the process. How about some personal responsibility? So, are you saying that society should be like, "Um, yeah, he beat your ass, but if you forgive him, we'll stand by?" And if he does it again? And again? I think burying your head in the sand and turning a blind eye perpetuates the cycle.

There is personal responsibility, there is also fear and shame. We also WANT to believe that the person we love will change and not do what was done before. Is this stupid? To an outsider, yes, to you? You are hopeful.
I'm not saying turn a blind eye by any means but crucifying her is not the answer either. The ideal way to handle something like this is to offer information for groups for support and education, for friends and family to rally around the person and let them know that they have somewhere to turn, as I understand her father has done. (that of course, could be another rag story)

This is not the ideal situation, her "status" takes away the ability to handle this privately. I'm not saying champion the fact she went back, when I say support her I don't mean by waving a banner and shouting "Hurrah", I mean by not down crying her actions. You don't kick someone when they are down.

AS I said before. If she no longer portrays the image the sponsors want to project then, by all means, pull the funds. Their decision.

I gotta say. I was abused. Like get my ass beat to a pulp every single week. dinner not the right temperature? break my nose. Left the Sunday paper on the coffee table after noon...punch me in the face.
I let this go on for YEARS. So many trips to the hospital I can not even tell you the number.
What made me leave. I had a kid and wised up.
So yeah, I think I have a right to be judgmental.
That girl has enough people around her that she KNOWS there are alternatives to living in this situation.
She is choosing to stay with someone that abuses her. She will continue to stay until she is ready to leave.
Until then she is stupid.
He keeps beating her in the face they way those pictures showed and endorsement deals will be a non issue for her anyway.

Glad to hear you wised up and left....but I'm surprised you are not more sympathetic with Rihanna considering....knowing the physcological reasoning for her staying. It's easy to call her stupid for staying. I'm sure I've said it but it's not about stupidity. You should know that. Women who stay w/men (vice versa) are not stupid, seriously. There are way more issues to it than that. I do sympathize with her because she's young, thinks she's in love, easily manipulated and has some self esteem issues. She doesn't have the right kind of people around her. Why she doesn't surround herself with her family like other female pop stars is weird. Look at Britney before her dad stepped in.

Again, why are we giving stupidity a pass?

Why is it so hard for us to believe the POSSIBILITY that she knows better, but she is CHOOSING to return for no other reason than she wants to? Not all abused people have some deep-seeded "issue" at the core. Sometimes, just maybe, stupid is enough of a reason.

Like Chris Rock asked, "Whatever happened to crazy?" I gotta wonder, "Whatever happened to stupid?"

I guess for me stupid is too easy with her situation. I'm sure she knows better but I think her age, the people she has surrounded herself with, Chris and just negative people in her ear. People are probably putting so much pressure on her to move on because of the millions of dollars at stack. She's still weak for him and she is allowing herself to be manipulated for his benefit and the label's benefit. Prior to this beat down, they (rumor) were already broken up. They had not been photographed in weeks together. Rihanna went to Disney World right before the Grammys and was photographed by herself looking mad sad. Chris was photographed during this time partying it up with various females. I believe Chris was moving on and they both were pressured by their labels for appearance sack to attend the Grammys together and things got out of hand and he beat her up. Now Chris and the labels are trying to save his career and continue to make money off of them both and I believe they're pressuring Rihanna to do the "right thing". If she forgives him well everyone else will follow.

It could be stupidity. I've called her stupid. But then again we don't know what is really going down with that situation. There are so many rumors circulating. Maybe there was a car accident as previously reported. Could Rihanna seriously be that stupid? I don't know but for some woman it's not just stupidity.

I gotta agree here.
I do not feel that stupidity is a good enough reason.

This is not the 50's where domestic abuse was hush hush. We are living in 2009 here. Every where you go there are phone numbers to shelters (public bathrooms, billboards, on the sides of busses, etc). ANY time you go to the emergency room, no matter what for, one of the questions that you are asked is if you don't "feel safe" with anyone in your life. Children are taught about physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, mental abuse as early as elementary school.

The bottom line is that she DOES know better. This is not a class issue, this is not a race issue, this is not an age issue. She is not financially dependent on him, she is not married to him, she does not have children with him, she has multiple friends and family members who are more than willing to step in to help her out. She is making a CHOICE to go back to him.

Although we do not know the specifics of what happened that night, and we may not know who threw the first punch but reality is that girl was beat to a pulp and Chris Brown had not a scratch on himself. As I said already, I am kinda torn between my feelings regarding this, but whatever my feelings are, they are mine and not to sound rude to Fiona but her comment about "I wonder if any of you judging her decision have ever been abused." I really do not think that has anything to do with it. Also, making a blanket statement about "Lower class women in Barbados are known for their temper. So are lower class women in America, Jamaica, United Kingdom, etc." is kinda narrow minded. Not ALL lower class women are known for their tempers and to categorize ALL women who may not be completely financially stable like that makes you sound a bit ignorant.