Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5 Epi 12: The Disquiet That Follows My Soul

Previously on BSG: Tori bitch-slaps Callie out the airlock. Tigh fraks Six and knocks her up. Prez. Roslin is all depressed ’cause Earth was a bust. Adama’s all, “Forget that noise, we outtie.”

And now…

Adama gets ready for his day Mr. Rogers-style… but it’s really boring.

Six and Tigh are with Doc Coddle and a nurse looking at their baby on an ultrasound. Proving that Cylon and human men have something in common, Tigh can’t tell what the hell he’s looking at… even if he did have two eyes.

Six starts going on and on about how her baby is the future of the Cylon nation, and the nurse gets a “ruh-roh” look on her face. Oblivious, Six continues on saying how they no longer need to worry about resurrecting, and they’re gonna live forever, and maybe one day they will be strong enough again to enslave the huma— oh, did I say that last part out loud? At this point, nurse lady looks like her eyes are gonna bulge outta her head. Shut up, Six! ‘Fore she goes all Rosemary’s Baby on you!

Gaeta’s all salty ’cause Doc Coddle is tending to the Cylons instead of his bloody stump. Interesting note: Gaeta says suicides are up and the Prez is M.I.A. Tyrol rushes in with baby Nicky who is pissing blood. Gaeta is behind yet another Cylon.

At a press conference, someone finally has the balls to ask why Tigh’s Cylon ass is still second-in-command of Galactica. Everyone wants to know if there’s gonna be a Cylon alliance. Adama ain’t saying anything. But, big mouf Lee let it slip when asked about the final Cylon, “We believe she’s dead.” Afterwards, he laments, “I can’t believe I let that slip.”

What? Do they know? Was Lee bullshittin’? Did Tigh tell them? They ain’t saying. At least not this week. Bastids.

V.P. Tom is not happy. Earth was a mess, Prez is missing, and he don’t want no damn Cylon alliance. Adama lobs a threat, Tom lobs one back, there’s another for good measure… and we have credits!

And then we have the annoying flashes giving away everything we’re about to see, so I turn my head.

Tigh, Tyrol, Helo (with his fine ass), Lee, and Gaeta are meeting with Adama. They’re discussing upgrading the fleet’s ships with Cylon technology FTL drives, but they know the Quarum ain’t gonna have it. Gaeta ain’t having it either especially because it would require dozens of sixes and eights aboard the fleet ships to get the job done. Gaeta wants to know what the catch is and Tyrol informs them that the Cylons want to be a part of the fleet, not just riding shotgun. They want to be citizens, a seat on the Quarum, and they want full protection in case Brother Cavil shows up. Gaeta almost amputates his other leg with his teeth he’s so incredulous.

The biggest revelation to come out of this scene is that I think Col. Tigh is kinda hawt! How come I’ve not noticed this before? He has an old, gruff, grizzly, one-eye, sexy thing going on.

Nicky has chronic renal failure which could lead to acute renal failure and he could lose a kidney. Tyrol finds out he’s not the baby daddy. Doc Coddle says he will tell the true father first, then Tyrol can bust a Cylon cap in his ass. I wonder who it is? Gaeta, maybe?

The Prez isn’t taking her meds, but she does yoga. She is not opposed to the Cylons joining the fleet.

Gaeta goads Starbuck in the mess hall, “You’re married to a Cylon.”

“At least I’m not a gimp.”

Ooooh, burn.

Gaeta is a real prick with one leg. He threatens to beat Starbuck’s ass one day and I nearly fall off the bed laughing. Starbuck could totally beat dat ass. She leaves, and Gaeta tells all the remaining soldiers they need to talk. I smell a revolt.

V.P. Tom is talking the Quarum up. Roslin and Adama are morons, he says. The Quarum agrees that no Cylon shall board a ship in the fleet without the permission of it’s people.

I say Galactica gets its own upgraded FTL drives and leave their ungrateful asses. But that’s just me.

Roslin is jogging through the halls like Rocky… in Rocky 6. She need to sit down somewhere. Adama gets a disturbing call and brushes his teeth. I don’t know why either. Adama tells Roslin they need her to get her shit together. She’s done., she says. She has played the role of the dying leader, taking the people to the blah blah blah. No, she really says blah, blah blah. She thinks she has earned the right to live before she dies.

Gaius is talking to the crazies, broadcasting his radio show. What did they do to deserve this fate? What kind of God would abandon them this way? The crazies scream with frothing mouths. Tyrol sees Nicky’s real baby daddy and gives him a Cylon beatdown.

Tigh is incensed that the ships are refusing their orders to let the Cylons aboard for upgrades. Gimp Gaeta gets all fresh-mouthed and back-talky. Helo looks like he wants to smack him, but an emergency call about the tilium ship crew’s mutiny spares Gimp Gaeta a fat lip.

The tilium ship will not communicate with Galactica, but they listen in as they talk to Colonial One and VP Tom tells them they have every right to protect themselves. They jump away with the fleet’s fuel supply… and then Adama delivers the best.line.ever.

“There are days when I really hate this job.”

If Galactica ain’t careful, they’ll be facing their own problems as Gaeta has a mutinous look in his gimpy little eyes.

Adama orders Athena to arrest the VP… and shoot his ass if necessary if he doesn’t come peacefully.

Tyrol orders Hot Dog (Nicky’s baby daddy) to sit his ass down with his son until he tells him otherwise.

Adama confronts VP Tom with evidence that he was involved in extortion. He will tell everyone if Tom doesn’t give up the location of the tilium ship. The whole exchange proves what a badass Adama is.

Gimpy Gaeta teams up with VP Tom to overthrow Galactica. Why isn’t Adama aware that this was coming? Oh, probably because….

Adama is laid up in the afterglow with Roslin when word comes in that the tilium ship was found. Neither care.

I predict that next week Adama is going to rip off Gaeta’s other leg and shove it up his traitorous ass.

What do you think?

Oh, I submit my BSG blogs to a website each week, and thought you guys might want to check the site out here.

TCTBTF: Week 3

Monday 1/19

If you’re trying to eat better, I highly recommend writing about it. I swear these three weeks have flown by. Normally, when I get back on the wagon the first two weeks are the worst; it’s hard for me to get used to the smaller portions and I’m usually super-cranky because I’m having a hard time adjusting.

Not so now. These three weeks have been a breeze.

Breakfast is usually one of the same few items – multigrain Cheerios, oatmeal, scrambled egg whites, whole wheat toast, yogurt, fruit, juice, water. Lunch is some sort of sandwich with veggies or something from the breakfast menu. Dinner is my biggest meal and it’s always a lean meat, veggies, with either wild rice or whole wheat pasta. Snacks are fruit, granola bars, yogurt, or whole wheat crackers.

Tuesday 1/20

I’ve been soda free for three weeks! But I have a new addiction. Peanut butter. Good lord. I eat a spoonful with breakfast… another with a snack. I spread it on celery and bananas.

Wednesday 1/21

Kali wants my peanut butter. She never thinks about peanut butter, but now, all of sudden, she wants peanut butter.

“Mommy, can I have some?”

I want to say, “Get your own!”

But she has no job.

She now spreads it on bananas. So that means she’s dogging my bananas too.

I asked Donny to pick up more peanut butter tonight.

Thursday 1/22

Good God, I love peanut butter. This peanut butter tastes funny though.

Who told Donny to get reduced fat?

I’m sure he’s trying to be helpful, but yeah… don’t.

I weighed myself before going to class. Down 7lbs. That’s crazy talk. I haven’t worked out all week because I just don’t have the time. There’s no way I lost 7lbs in one week. That can’t be right.

Friday 1/23/09

It wasn’t. This week’s damage?

-2lbs

Three week total? 7lbs.

Now, imagine what I can do if I just work out?

Next week I pledge to:

1. Do the Wii Fit x2
2. Elliptical at least once
3. Take a walk around neighborhood with Jack if weather permits.

How bout you? How was your week? What could you be doing better, and what are you willing to pledge for next week to get there?

Note: I am not on a peanut butter diet. I just thought the picture was funny. Also, spare me the lectures about peanut butter. Remember, my caloric intake is still higher than most because I’m breast feeding.

Earth Girls Are Easy: The Four Rs

Nina Says:

Sophie is the most environmentally friendly person I know. In fact, she and the environment are BFF’s. Me? Not so much. My heart is in the right place and I mean well, it’s just I don’t always do the things I know I should. One of my three new year’s resolutions was to try and be as environmentally responsible as possible – do the best I can, when I can. And for that I, of course, looked to Sophie who makes being green look oh so easy.

She often scolds me. Like the other day:

Nina: I have this free trial of PowerPoint on my new laptop, but I only get a few uses before it runs out. I use it a lot for Biology class, so what I think I’m going to do is keep it open the whole semester.

Sophie: How can you leave it open the whole semester? Don’t you have to shut your laptop down at night?

Nina: Uh, I do?

Sophie: NINA!

My bad. I just don’t think about things like that. And now I imagine myself like a huge Godzilla trouncing around the Earth oblivious to the damage in my wake. Sophie tells me getting started is easy and all I have to do is think of the Three Rs.

Nina: Um, Recycle, Reuse… and what else?

Sophie: It’s Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle, and you have to put them in that order.

Nina: Why?

Below, Sophie explains why.

Sophie Says:

First off, let me just say that as much as I would like to take credit for single-handedly saving the Earth, I can’t. I am merely just a woman. One woman doing her part to make this world a better place for her children and yours.

Now the three Rs are as follows:

Reduce: reducing  the number of items that you consume.

Reuse: using an item in another way to extend its life.

Recycle: sending that item to the big recycling center in the sky, to be reincarnated later as something else. But remember, recycling requires energy, WAY more energy than the other two Rs.

Think of it in terms of best, better, and good.

Nina Says:

We’re gonna add a fourth R, because we can. Remember. If you’re anything like me, you’ll need help remembering to put some of Sophie’s suggestions into practice.

Sophie Says:

This week we’re gonna talk about reducing waste and one way to do that is by BYOB to the grocery store and every store. When I go to the grocery store or Farmers Market, I always take my grocery bags. I have about eight. When I go to the mall, I always have my cute little tote. I’m not one of those people who collect reusable bags from every store that offers them, because that kind of defeats the purpose.

I wasn’t always so diligent, but I got the hang of it and now it’s like second nature. I pull into my parking spot, take the bags out, then take the babies out. I put them (the bags, not the babies) in the hull of the cart and shop responsibly, all the while mindful of excess packaging. (Reduce, remember?)

Some markets even offer a small discount per bag (that you use) on your groceries if you use your own. Shoprite offers a 10 cent discount per bag, so if you bring five bags but only use three to pack your groceries, that’s 30 cents off your total purchase. Every little bit helps, right?

The bags I sent to Nina

I’ve had the same bags for about three years and don’t need or plan on getting anymore. For those of you who think that plastic bags aren’t so bad or you use them to line your small trash cans, or scoop your dog’s poop, here’s a little nugget. Plastic bags are not biodegradable, they photodegrade, which means they break down into tiny toxic bits that eventually make their way into our food chain.

Nina Says:

Yes, Sophie sent me those bags like two years ago. How sweet, right? Well, ask me how long it took me to use them? Hey, don’t judge me! This whole going green thing takes some getting used to.

Remember tip: Keep them in your car. Always. Once I got past Donny’s irrational refusal to use them, we began keeping them in the trunk of the car… and we still forgot to use them. You know, out of sight and all that. So, we began keeping a few in the backseat or passenger seat.

Also, without having to be asked or told, Donny began to use them when returning and picking up library books, taking Kali to my parents’ house, running errands with lots of stuff, etc.

Occasionally, we’ll get weird looks from people in the market, but a judgmental look from them to their plastic bag, and back to them with an, “Earth killer” thrown in for good measure, and that usually puts an end to that.

You can purchase your own bags at most local grocery stores for about 99 cents, or you can purchase them online. While you wait for them to arrive, you can use canvas totes that you have around the house. Sophie doesn’t think you should order online because they have to be shipped and that’s another waste of resources. She’s good, huh?

Every other Thursday Sophie will be sharing her mother nature protection tips, and I’ll report on how well (hopefully) I’m doing. You can post any green tips and ideas you may have that week’s particular topic. If we work together, perhaps we can save our planet from being shot to shit.

So, do you have reusable bags? Do you use them? Any funny stories to share? What reactions have you had when you’ve used them? If you don’t use them, can you pledge to try and use them for the next two weeks until the next Earth Girls Are Easy blogs and report back on your progress?

Lost Season 5 – Because You Left/The Lie Epis. 1&2

An alarm goes off at 8:15am. A woman tells a man it’s his turn to get a crying baby. He tends to the baby and leaves for work… and he’s on the island… which I totally knew. It’s a man in some nut-hugging tight pants. It’s the doctor from all of the orientation films by The Dharma Initiative. He’s in the middle of making a film when he’s told there’s a problem at The Orchid.

He heads down to where the big wheel that moves the island is. Construction crews have been through two drills trying to get to it. The doctor informs the crew to stop. They run the risk of releasing limitless energy that can be used to time travel. The construction chief is all, “Chyeah right.” And the scientist is all, “Yuh huh.” As the scientist leaves, he bumps into the OTHER scientist. You know, the one that came to the island on the freighter and was Desmond’s constant when he was all time-travelly, Daniel… the physicist.

Three years after the island moved, Jack and Ben talk about going back to the island with all of the Oceanic 6, and smelly, dead, Locke. Jack says that Locke told him all kinds of bad shit went down when they left and that if they didn’t go back, Sawyer, Juliet, and everyone on the island and boat would die.

Flash back three years to when the island moved and those on the island are all, “WTF?!” No one knows what the bright light and loud sound were all about. Where’s the freighter? No one knows. Also, no one knows where the hell the camp is ’cause that’s gone too. Daniel, who was on the raft when the island disappeared and within the radius, says that the camp isn’t gone. It just hasn’t been built yet. And I’m all, “Yeah, that’s nice. I’m just happy Rose and Bernard are still alive.”

Back to three years later, Kate is served with papers declaring she needs to give up a blood sample to prove she’s Aaron’s mommy. She’s all, “Um, no.” The lawyers won’t say who their client is and Kate demands they come back with the sheriff. While they’re gone, she packs up her and Aaron’s stuff and they bounce.

Flash back three years, and Daniel won’t explain to Sawyer and Juliet what’s going on. He says it would just be too complicated for their simple little brains. For this, Sawyer bitch slaps him and Daniel sings like a canary physicist.

Locke is making his way around the island when a plane comes dangerously close to crashing on his ass. It crashes in the distance, and in the process drops one of the Virgin Mary heroin statues. Locke makes his way to the wreckage, and not learning a lesson from what happened to Boone’s ass, he tries to climb up to it. Someone starts shooting at him and he falls. It’s Ethan!

Ok, so obviously the island went back in time. But why is Ethan alive? Is it ’cause his dead body was on the island? Is that why the drug plane re-crashed?

Anyway, Ethan is about to pop a cap in John’s ass when it suddenly gets all bright again and next thing you know, it’s nighttime. Daniel tells Sawyer and crew they are either in the past or the future. Well, no duh.

Three years ahead, Sun is travelling to Los Angeles when her passport causes her to be locked in a room. Charles Widmore arrives. He’s all, “Don’t be running up on me when I’m with my boys like that.” And she’s all, “My bad.” He wants to know what their common interest is. “To kill Benjamin Linus.” Well, no shit.

Ben and Jack see a news report about Hurley escaping from the mental hospital. This changes their plans.

Sayid and Hurley get some fast food and head for Sayid’s apartment. Hurley says he needs a cool coat. I don’t know about that… but he damn sure don’t need that fast food he’s eating. Sayid tells Hurley he was working for Ben for the past two years and Hurley wonders if this means Ben’s on their side now. Sayid tells Hurley to always do the exact opposite of whatever Ben says.

Sayid realizes his safe house ain’t so safe. He kills two intruders, but not before one shoots him with a tranquilizer. He instructs Hurley to get him to the car. “I’m too old for this shit,” Hurley grumbles as he carries Sayid off. Well, what he actually says is, “We never should have left that island.” Same diff. Moral of this scene? Always put your knives in the dishwasher pointy side down.

Three years ago, Sawyer and crew find the blown up hatch. This means they’re forward in time, back to after the Oceanic people crashed there. Sawyer wants to head back and see if the camp is still there and possibly warn the people on the copter not to go. Daniel explains that they can’t change the past or future, they must not interfere… leave the stream be. And I have a headache. Sawyer wants to know who can stop the island from time jumping… cut to…

Locke hobbles to the drug plane and finds it as it was when they first found it; crashed with the heroin and skeletons. He fashions a tourniquet for his injured leg. Richard shows up to remove the bullet from his leg that Locke never told him was there… Richard says, “You did tell me… or you will.” He explains that Locke will be moving on soon and that the next time they meet, Richard won’t know who he is. Then he gives Locke a compass. He tells Locke he has to get his friends to come back in order to save the island. Locke wants to know how he’s supposed to do that… “You’ll have to die, John.”

Bright light and Locke is back in the daytime… back in the past.

Three years in the past, Sawyer and crew realize that they are back in the past, and the hatch is back. Sawyer wants to go into the hatch to get the supplies. Daniel warns him he can’t change the past. Sawyer says that everyone he cares about just blew up on Daniel’s freighter; he knows what he can’t change.

The foreign redhead chick has a nosebleed which causes Daniel to consult his notebook on the sly. When alone, he bangs on the hatch’s backdoor until Desmond answers. He quickly tells Desmond that if he made it off the island in the helicopter, Desmond needs to go to Oxford University in order to save those left behind. He tells him to find his mother… and the bright light flashes again. Desmond, of course, didn’t know what the hell he was talking about or who he was.

Three years in the future, Desmond awakes on a boat with Penny and realizes he just had a memory. He starts to un-anchor the boat, informing Penny they’re going to Oxford.

Three years ago… the Oceanic Six are discussing whether or not they’re going to lie once rescued. Everyone agrees to, but not Hurley. Jack tells him that they need to protect those they left behind from Charles Widmore. Hurley is outnumbered and pretty much bullied into lying. Hurley warns, “Ima ‘member this.”

Three years in the future… Hurley and Sayid are on the road. Hurley drives and tries to get Sayid to wake up. He’s out for the count. Because Hurley is a fool and driving like one, they get pulled over. The cop is Ana Lucia! She scolds Hurley for being a dumbass, tells him to get off the streets, and that Libby says hi. Freaky!

Three years in the past… the people left on the island try to figure out what their next step should be. Daniel want to try and figure out where they are in time.

Three years in the future… Hurley buys clothes and narrowly averts being recognized. Kate gets a call from a friend and rushes to meet him/her. Ben tells Jack to go home and pack anything that means anything to him because once they leave he’s never going home again. He says he’ll meet him in six hours. When Jack asks whether or not Locke is dead, Ben doesn’t respond. He just says, “I’ll see you in six hours, Jack.” Hurley shows up at his Dad’s house. (His Dad was totally watching, “Expose,” the show that starred Nicky from the island.)

Hurley’s Dad covers for him with the cops. Kate meets Sun at a hotel, and Ben shows up at a butcher shop where the lady behind the counter agrees to hold on to Locke so I guess he won’t be so stinky and maggoty after all.

Three years in the past, on the island, Asian psychic dude returns from the jungle with a dead boar. He said he found it dead. I’m guessing he used his special connection with the dead ability to find it.

The foreign redhead admits to Daniel that she can’t seem to shake a headache, and earlier couldn’t remember her mother’s maiden name. One of the survivors starts to over-freak out about the group not being able to start a fire when suddenly he has a fiery arrow in his chest. The survivors flee an onslaught of fiery arrows! WTF?!

In the future, Hurley’s father leaves with Sayid hidden in his car. Sun tells Kate that she must do whatever it takes to protect Aaron. Sun remembers that Kate told her to get Aaron on the helicopter and that she, Kate, would go get Jin. We all know how that turned out. Sun assures Kate she doesn’t blame her. Hurley’s father takes Sayid to Jack and warns him to leave Hurley alone. Jack calls Ben and tells him he has Sayid Ben’s eyes go wide… er… wider than usual. Hurley tells his mother the truth about what happened on the island. She says she doesn’t understand, but she believes his crazy ass.

Three years ago, on the island, Sawyer and Juliet encounter some men with guns who threaten to cut off Juliet’s hand if they don’t explain what they’re doing there. Guess they have knives too.

In the future, Jack takes Sayid to a hospital and gets him to wake up. Sayid is concerned that Hurley is now vulnerable. Ben shows up at Hurley’s house and tries to convince him he’s working with Jack and Sayid. Remembering what Sayid said about trusting Ben, Hurley runs out to turn himself in to the cops watching his house instead. Ben looks on like, “Dumbass.”

Locke comes out of the shadows all Jungle Badass and saves Sawyer and Juliet’s asses… and her hand.

Meanwhile, in the future, a cloaked woman is working on formulas on a blackboard, and typing into a computer. A weird pendulum swings leaving markings on the floor. She makes her way up to a church where Ben is waiting. He explains he’s having difficulty gathering everyone, but she warns he only has 70 hours. She’s the woman from the jewelry store! Ben asks what would happen if he can’t get them to return to the island.

“Then God help us all.”

So, what did you guys think? Predictions? Questions? More importantly, when do we get to see the smoke monster again?!

Me thinks that woman at the end may be Daniel’s mother.

24: Day 7, 12pm -1pm

This was due yesterday, but I was all about the inauguration.

Previously on 24: President Taylor gets an ultimatum. First Hubby Taylor finds out that his son was murdered and someone in his wife’s administration may be in on it. Agent Walker tortures the shooter (Tanner) to get info on Jack and Almeida’s whereabouts. It works. Jack goes under with Tony Almeida posing as one of Emerson’s men. They try to kidnap the leader of Sangala, but he locks himself in a panic room Jodi Foster-style.

The following takes place between 12pm and 1pm…

The FBI prepares to go after Almeida and his men to stop them from kidnapping the leader of Sangala whose name I can’t spell yet. It’s a “bring Almeida back alive mission” which doesn’t make the FBI dudes too happy.

Agent Walker is totally busted for torturing the injured man thing. His boss orders her to head back to the office – she can’t make an arrest off of faulty-tortured-obtained info. She goes all rogue and heads off anyway.

Inside the most poorly-stocked panic room ever, Mr. Mumtobo (I’m taking a shot) and his wife discuss their options which pretty much consist of keeping their asses put till help arrives… until Emerson threatens to kill one of his men if he doesn’t come out in one minute… and he still pretty much decides to keep his ass put. Mumtobo’s man is spared a bullet in the head when the FBI calls him on his cell phone and Emerson realizes the FBI may be on their way.

Knowing that they have to get Mumtobo out (he’s the only hope they have of capturing Dubaku and finding the C.I.P. device), Jack suggests that they use the small amount of time they have before the feds arrive to smoke him out using common household products. MacGyver style!

Again, worst.panic.room.ever.

Jack goes all Bill Nye on the vents, creating fumes that will smoke Mumtobo and his wife out. He’s willing to die, but is his wife? She’s willing to go out like a gangsta too!

The squirrelly tech guy acts all… squirrelly when his wife calls. And even more squirrelly when he overhears that Agent Walker has gone rogue.

Mumtobo’s wife bitches out at the last minute and opens the panic room door! She’s not so gangsta after all. *sigh*

Agent Walker shows up just as Emerson, Jack, and Almeida are loading Mumtobo and his wife in a truck. She gets busted because… well, she’s no Jack Bauer. Jack and Almeida convince Emerson not to kill her until they find out what she knows.

First Hubby Taylor trusts his secret service person, Brian, to help him find someone who can get the info off the thumb drive his dead son’s fiance gave him. He refuses to tell his wife until he can prove what he was told. Doesn’t he ever watch 24!? He’ll be dead in the next three hours. Tops.

President Taylor refuses to withdraw the U.S. troops in accordance with Dubaku’s demands. Instead, she wants to use the 30 minutes they have left to find Mumtobo.

We find out why squirrelly guy is so squirrelly. He’s banging some chick at work. Lame. Who cares? Unless he’s banging her to frame her for being the mole and will later kill her, I sure don’t.

Emerson’s inside man informs him that Agent Walker doesn’t know squat and should be terminated post haste. Well, he didn’t say post haste, those are my words.

Brian betrays First Hubby Taylor by leading him to his dead son’s fiance’s apartment. Having consumed spiked coffee, FHT loses control of his muscles and becomes paralyzed. Brian and his Secret Service cohort plan to stage a murder-suicide involving FHT and the fiancé.

Emerson and his crew pull up at an empty construction site and he orders Jack to kill Agent Taylor. He shots her… kinda?… and covers her body with a tarp. Emerson, liking all his Is dotted and his Ts crossed, orders Almeida and Jack to now bury her. Taylor looks all panicky under the tarp as they toss mounds of dirt on her….

Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock….

BIOBaby: OK… Jack Does Run the Show

I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know when. But somewhere along the way, Jack began running the show. He doesn’t have complete control. He’s not like the CEO. But he may very well be the general manager.

No, he’s too young to be labeled “bad.” He doesn’t throw fits or tantrums, although I notice when he can’t manipulate an item the way he wants to, he’ll get so frustrated his face looks like he wants to hit something… or someone. He’s too young to talk back or refuse meals. So, you may be wondering how Jack, at almost 6 months old, is running the show.

More often than not, Jack will have my ass tippy-toeing around the house Scooby-Doo style. When he decided that he was no longer going to sleep through the night, my fate was sealed. I am now so thrilled when he sleeps, whenever he sleeps, that I put the whole house on lockdown. You cannot talk, laugh, sneeze, fart, or breathe with any kind of tempo. This is the complete opposite of when Kali was a baby. I had her conditioned to sleep through an elephant stampede with cymbals on their feet. Not Jack.

The phone rings, he’s up. I cough, he’s up. I shift on the bed, and a remote hits the floor, he’s up. And you know what drives me crazy? Those programs where while the show is on you can leave the volume at a comfortable level, but commercials are like a trillion decibels higher. What’s up with that? I find myself trying to time the commercials to have mute ready.

And you know how with some kids they can be asleep for only ten minutes or so when something wakes them up, so it’s no problem for them to go back to sleep almost immediately? Not Jack. When he’s up, he’s up. That little head pops up and he’s all smiley dimples. I’m torn between slipping him some Benadryl, and scooping him out of the Pack n’ Play to love him up. I always choose the latter in case you were wondering.

One other area where he runs the show, and by run the show I mean I put his feelings before anything else; the breast pump. I pump more now than I did two weeks ago because I’m trying to build a supply for him while I’m in school two nights per week. The first time he saw me use it, he had just eaten, and he stared at the contraption like, “What the hell is that?” As the milk started to flow into the bottle, he got it. Jack began to lick his lips and smack his gums. He clawed at my shirt over the unoccupied boob.

Because I didn’t want him to feel threatened, and even though I had just fed his little ass, I whipped out the free boob, cradled Jack to it, and let him nurse. He never took his eyes off the pump. He would suck and stare, and then stop sucking, but still stare. It was like he was competing with the pump! Dueling lactation!

As I’ve continued to use the pump around him, he’s more used to it now, though I believe he still doesn’t like it. He’s too young to comprehend that it’s needed to make sure he eats while I’m gone, but there’s something that tells him he needs to be there when I use it. He needs to latch on to the other boob almost as if he wants to make sure he’s not replaced. He eyes it warily. Whether he’s hungry or not, he needs to stake his claim, and I let him.

And damn if I don’t feel like a cow the whole time.

He also rocks the argyle…

Yes, my baby rocks a curly faux-hawk, wings on the side, and a horizontal bald spot in the back. Don’t judge him!

ME Time

I said once in a BIOBaby blog that pregnancy wasn’t for punk-ass bitches or bitch-ass punks. I would like to now extend that to motherhood. It’s not for the faint of heart. You have to be ready to love someone more than yourself and you have to be willing to put yourself second… or third… and sometimes, fourth. You have to do all of this without remorse or regret, and definitely without complaining.

“Isn’t Jack the cutest baby you’ve ever seen?” Kali asked me this morning.

“He’s the cutest baby boy. You were the cutest baby girl.”

“Oh, right.”

See? That’s what mothers do. Putting the kids’ feelings first even when they’re not aware of it.

Yes, it’s important to have me time; that mommy time to herself where she can do whatever it is she wants to do without worrying about anyone or anything else. But it’s also important to realize that the me time may not always be what one would expect.

Sure, it’s great to have time alone to soak in the tub, read a book, take a nap, go shopping, etc., but many Moms know, and I just discovered, that sometimes me time is just more time to take care of some not-so-fun stuff. I used to feel bad passing the kids off to Donny when he got home from work or on the weekends, but I realized it wasn’t like I was doing so to slack off – though I’d be totally justified if I were, but rather to get some school work done, work on my novel, polish my query letter, work on my website, work on our taxes, etc.

I try to look ahead to the end of the semester, and tell myself that it’s only a few months. I tell myself that Jack will one day sleep through the night… right? I tell myself that sometimes, this is what being a Mom is about.

I’d like to tip my hat to single Moms working full time, and raising even just one kid. How they do it is beyond me. I have help, and it’s still hard. I stay home, and it’s still hard. Some days I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. “Did I shower today?” crosses my mind at least three days out of the week. I probably get about four hours of sleep per night, and only sometimes am I able to nap during the day when Jack does. The other day I had him propped up to my left boob, was holding the breast pump to my right boob with my right hand, and was watching Lost and typing a recap of it with my left hand.

I’ve had to find ways to make it work. And sometimes that means sacrificing some bubble baths and naps to get shit done. I’m not asking for any back-slapping or validation. If I can get my novel out the door while my kids are healthy and thriving in school, and keep my marriage and house together, that’s reward enough. Instead, I write this to let you know that if this is what you’re going through; if you can’t remember the last time you washed your ass, but can recite your child’s school assignments backwards, you are not alone. If your idea of me time lately is getting the dishes done and laundry washed so your husband and child don’t leave the house looking like rump-rump, you are not alone. If you are sacrificing sleep for homework because you can’t it done while the baby’s awake, you are not alone. And if you’re doing all this while trying not to eat your substantial weight in chocolate, ice cream, and fast food, you are not alone.

But even more than that, you, like me, are no punk-ass-bitch

What are some mommy time-saving tips you can share with the rest of us trying to get it done?

The L Word: Season 6, Epi.1 – Long Night’s Journey Into Day

The L Word: Loyalty

Creepy, dark, eerie, and did I mention creepy? That’s what the opening scene of the Season 6 premiere was. The mist on the police cruisers, the lights, the sirens – it was all too much for me. It reminded me of the kind of thriller movie I try my best to avoid. Then I remembered that death isn’t pretty, as the paramedics rolled Jenny’s body through Bette’s living room. They found her body in the pool. *shudder*

Although the movie-like intro had me expecting Morgan Freeman to step on the scene, the detective on the case was Lucy Lawless, (that’s right, Xena and for you BSG fans, D’Anna aka Number 3). As Sergeant Mary Beth Duffy, she had some questions for the seven women in the room: Bette, Tina, Shane, Kit, Helena, Alice, and Max. Did anyone else find it strange that the officer who debriefed the sergeant referred to Max as a woman?

They flashback to the Lez Girls wrap party, three months earlier, where all is calm and thankfully bright. Now here’s the show I know and love! We pick up where we left off with Jenny telling either Shane or Niki that she has broken her heart. We are also reminded that the movie executives want to change the movie and give it the old Hollywood Hetero ending it “deserves.” Emotions are running high; Tina is upset over the turn of events in the movie, Bette is defending Shane and her betrayal of Jenny, and Alice and Tasha are on the verge of breaking up.

Jenny is rightfully pissed off at Shane and Niki and raking them over the coals. And Shane is begging for forgiveness and getting nowhere. After Jenny kicks her and her “skanky” clothes out of the house, Shane tries to crash with Bette and Tina who have a feverish Angelica on their hands. Because they were too busy and too judgy (Tina) to deal with her, Shane goes to Alice’s. Bad timing; she and Tasha are in the middle of a huge fight. Alice comes clean about her friendship with the fashion designer she met last season. She explains to Tasha that Clea Mason (Melanie Lynskey) was easy to talk to, that they had a lot in common, BUT she didn’t cheat. To Tasha, things are black and white, thinking is cheating, and she is out! Alice’s best line, “I mean, I didn’t even really kiss her, at all.” What? That’s like being a little pregnant. Either ya kissed, or ya didn’t!

Poor Shane was all alone with nowhere to go. Took me back to Season 1 when she was staying out all night, hooking up with random girls, being a dick, but at least there was remorse this time. Shane finally goes to The Hit Club (Helena and Kit‘s new club), gets loaded and then proceeds to get really great advice from Kit. Don’t let Jenny go without a fight. Fight to the death for your friendship.

We also learn that Shane is in love with Molly and the hurt over their breakup and the fact that Jenny and Niki were on a break is what led her to hook up. Shane was promising all kinds of stuff in return for Jenny’s forgiveness. “I’ll be your slave, your assistant.” What she should have offered was free hair services for life! Jenny wasn’t buying it, and later told Molly that Shane and Niki were together and had been for months. Does she really believe that or was that her way of making things worse for Shane and Molly? Why hide the jacket and Molly’s letter to Shane in the attic — why not burn the letter and throw jacket out on lawn with the rest of Shane’s stuff? It’ll be interesting to see if Jenny forgave Shane before she died. Jenny tricks Niki into one last romp, then curses and kicks her out. We learn then that it was in fact Shane who had broken her heart. Awwwh…

The next day at The Planet, were battle lines drawn or what? The division of the friends was very telling. Shane, Alice, and Bette – the cheaters. Jenny, Tasha, and Tina – the cheatees. So are you Team Shane or Team Jenny?

Also, wasn’t it great to see Papi again?

The L Word airs at 9p.m. Sunday nights on Showtime.

Battlestar Galactica: Season 4.5 – Epi. 11: Sometimes A Great Notion

Before we jump into the final season’s premiere, let’s do a review. Here are the top ten things you need to know about Battlestar Galactica:

1. The fate of the human race is in jeopardy – In the pilot episode, the 12 colonies of humanity were wiped out by the Cylons. Cylons were robots designed by the humans for military defense, but evolved (now look human) and revolted. They killed billions of people in an attack on the 12 colonies of Kobol including Caprica.

2. Admiral Adama leads the colonists in a search for Earth – Battlestar Galactica, commanded by Admiral Adama (Edward James Olmos), is the only battlestar to survive the attack and leads the surviving fleet (about 50,000 ppl) in search of the mythical planet Earth. Legend goes that the 13th colonists fled many years ago and settled on Earth. They hope that there will be life there. The Cylons are hot on their asses.

3. The Galactica crew is a family – Adama and President Laura Roslin (Mary McDonald) are like the mother/father figures of the surviving fleet. Roslin was the Secretary of Education when the attack happened, and the 43 people in line ahead of her to be President all died in the attack. She more than rises to the occasion. Laura and Adama have grown close.

Colonel Saul Tigh is Adama’s best friend and the executive officer of Galactica.

Lee Adama is Admiral Adama’s son and a fighter pilot aboard Galactica. They had an uneasy relationship. Kara Thrace a.k.a Starbuck is the best pilot in the fleet. She dated Adama’s dead son, Zach, who died in combat. Lee Adama and Starbuck had affairs while being married to other people. Lee to Dualla (Galactica officer) and Starbuck to Anders, a surviver from Caprica.

Dr. Gaius Baltar was duped into letting the Cylons into the nation’s defense system which helped the Cylons launch their attack.

4. Cylons look like us now - There are 12 models of human-looking Cylons. And there are thousands of each model that are copies. If you kill one, the body dies but its consciousness is instantly downloaded into a new body (identical to the one that died) aboard one of their resurrection ships. Caprica 6 (the sixth model) is the one that seduced Baltar into getting into the defense system.

5. The President is dying – President Laura Roslin is dying of cancer. There is a Pithean prophecy that the new leader will be dying and will lead humanity to their new home. The relationship between Adama and Roslin has deepened over time. She has told Adama, finally, that she loves him.

6. There are Cylons within the Galactica crew - There were sleeper Cylons within the fleet that didn’t know they were Cylons. Sharon (call sign Boomer), a Galactica pilot, started to become unglued and realized she was a Cylon.

On Cylon-occupied Caprica, a Sharon Cylon was tasked to seduce Helo (another Galactica pilot who landed on Cylon-occupied Caprica to rescue survivors, but stayed behind) and hopefully mate with him and see if Cylons could get pregnant by humans. Helo, at the time, didn’t know the woman he thought was Sharon was actually a Cylon, and that the Sharon he knew was aboard Galactica losing her marbles. When the crew of Galactica finds out that Sharon is a Cylon, someone shoots her. She dies but is resurrected on a Cylon resurrection ship. The Cylon Sharon on Caprica becomes pregnant by Helo, decides she can’t kill him, and joins him aboard Galactica. Essentially, they switched places and lives. Hera, a Cylon-Human child, is born to Helo and the new Sharon, later dubbed the call sign “Athena.”

Over the course of 3 seasons, 7 of the 12 models were revealed to us. At the end of season 3, four of the final five were revealed to be among the fleet. They did not know they were Cylons. They are Anders (Starbuck’s husband), Col. Saul Tigh, Chief Tyrol, and Tory (the President’s assistant.) Hearing a song in their heads led them to a room at the same time where they realize what they are. They decide to hide the fact that they are Cylons. Tory kills Tyrol’s wife when she finds out their secret. Tigh had killed his own wife once he found out that she was colluding with the Cylons so he feels extra dumb to find out he is one.

7. Starbuck has a destiny – “All of this has happened before, and will happen again.” In the third season, Starbuck’s ship exploded and she died. She returned in a new Viper (fighter plane) claiming to have been to Earth. She was gone months to the crew, but only hours to her. She passes the blood test devised by Baltar that proves she is human and not a Cylon, but no one has a plausible explanation for why she blew up and returned.

8. A civil war has split the Cylons - A division has formed between the Cylons in season 3. The rebel Cylons (the 8s, 6s, and 2s) want to find out who the final five are in the hopes of discovering their true destiny. D’Anna (model #3) has seen the final five Cylons, but her model was boxed. The rebel Cylons want to unbox her to find the final five. They want to join forces with the humans in order to do this. The humans are motivated to agree because the final five Cylons have been to Earth and can lead the way. The rebel Cylons are willing to help the humans destroy the resurrection hub, so no more downloading – dead is dead – and while the humans are doing that, they will slip and grab D’Anna, who has been in a kinda cold storage.

9 – Enemies have become allies - The Cylon rebels are looking for meaning and are willing to be just like humans – mortal, to find it. There are members of the human fleet that think it’s a bad idea to trust the Cylons. Tigh confesses to his best friend, Adama, that he is a final five Cylon. Tyrol, Tigh, and Anders all begin hearing the same song again- the one that led them to learn they were Cylons – and this time it leads them to Starbuck’s Viper. They realize that the Viper holds the key to Earth’s location. The Viper’s radar has picked up a Colonial signal which is coming from Earth. The Cylons and humans decide to travel together to Earth by following the beacon.

10. They find Earth – When they arrive on Earth, they find it has been nuked. There is no life to be found. Devastated for thousands of years.

Who is the final Cylon? What happened to Earth? Where are the other Cylons and will they find them? You know they’re pissed off because their resurrection abilities have been destroyed. What happens to the fleet with their new Cylon alliance?

Season 4.5 Episode 11 – Sometimes a Great Notion

10pm – I’m so excited I can barely sit still. As is my habit, I want to celebrate good TV with a bad-for-me meal, but I’ve been dieting and I’m down five pounds. In fact, if I really wanted to celebrate I’d watch tonight’s premiere while on the elliptical, but it’s 1 hour and 4 minutes and that ain’t how I roll. Oooh, it’s on!

Previously on the awesomeness that is Battlestar Galactica: The Cylons have split; the Ones, Fours, and Fives are against the Sixes, Eights, and Twos. Well, Boomer (being a dirty little whore) is sleeping with one of the Ones (Brother Cavil) so she has sided with them. The 6s, 8s, and 2s have teamed up with the Colonial fleet to free Number 3, D’Anna, find the final five within the fleet, and find Earth. Dualla was Lee Adama’s rock even when he was fat and screwing Starbuck. The final four are revealed within the fleet and three of them help Starbuck figure out that her Viper can lead them to Earth. They arrive on Earth to find it decimated by a nuclear explosion. Dumb Earthlings.

Now…

Everyone’s kinda looking around at the nuked Earth like, “WTF?!” Col. Tigh looks out at the ocean with his one good eye. They’re all digging through the sands of the beach in disbelief. President Roslin finds a small plant. Helo reports there are no signs of life on radar… the Cylons concur. Starbuck and Leoben try to find the signal that led them there.

Why is no one concerned with radiation!? Stop touching stuff!

OK, Baltar confirms that the planet was nuked over 2,000 years ago and the radiation level is pretty low. Dualla finds a child’s set of jacks in the sand and loses her shit. It’s sad, but I still wish she would stop touching stuff. I truly believe Dualla is the final Cylon. Now, she’s on board a ship freaking out next to Helo. Poor Cylon Dualla.

10:05 – They have returned to Galactica to tell the rest of the fleet that Earth is to’ up from the flo’ up. President Roslin can’t bring herself to say the words. See, if that were Obama he’d have made an uplifting speech making them all forget that they’re pretty much fucked.

10:10 - Leoben (number 2) and Starbuck try to find the signal. They find a piece of colonial aircraft wreckage instead. Starbuck realizes it’s her ship that exploded when everyone thought she was dead. Oh snap! Dualla babysits Hera for Helo and Athena. Why? I don’t know.

The Cylons unearth the remains of a Centurion in the sand which suggests that they were there 2,000 years ago… but they’re not the same Centurion models that our Cylons are used to. They assume that the Centurions must have revolted against the 13th colony of humans that settled Earth, just as the Cylons did to the 12 colonies back on Kobol… but no! ALL the remains found are Cylon! There were no humans on Earth! The 13th colony was Cylons! Oh double snap!

President Roslin and Admiral Adama are all messed up. They don’t want to talk to anyone. She won’t talk to the Quarum (like our Congress) and Adama won’t talk to Col. Tigh. Who can blame them?

10:15pm – On the beach, Chief Tyrol has a flashback of being a skinjob Cylon on Earth. He was just walking down the street, minding his business, when the nuclear explosion occurred. There’s a scorch mark in his image on a wall. DAMN!

Lee Adama is all depressed thinking about all the pilots that died for the dream of a new beginning on Earth. Their sacrifice is meaningless he worries. Dualla tells him to man up and they make a date to have dinner that night.

10:20 – Starbuck and Leoben find her downed Viper. It’s blown to shit. Inside they find her dead body. WTF!!? She confesses that the Cylon hybrid told her she was the harbinger of death and would lead humanity to it’s end. Leoben runs off like a little bitch as Starbuck demands to know, “What am I!!?” You know shit is all kinds of wrong when you freak out a Cylon!

10:25- Anders finds a guitar neck in the sand and remembers playing the song that switched them on for a woman he loved. He tells Tyrol and Tory arrives to say she remembers Anders playing that song for all of them. They wonder how they could have died 2,000 years ago on Earth and end up as sleeper Cylons within the colonies.

President Roslin is burning the Pithean prophecies when Adama finds her aboard Galactica. She’s all down cause people trusted her and followed her to Earth for nothing. She has also stopped taking her cancer treatments. Adama tries to console her, but she ain’t having it.

10:30 – Starbuck burns her dead body on the beach. That’s not something you do everyday. Aboard Galactica, Lee and Dualla finish their date at the door to her quarters. They kiss. Ah, how nice. Wait till he finds out she’s the final Cylon.

Dualla’s all humming and happy as she puts her jewelry in her locker. Lt. Felix Gaeda tells her she’s all glowing. He leaves and she hums, hangs up her wedding ring and then shoots herself in the head. Let me say that one mo’ ‘gain.

Dualla shot herself in the frakkin’ head! What the frak!

Ok, my prediction now is that she’ll return later as the final Cylon. She must have had a memory of herself on Earth when she found the jacks… that’s why she freaked out. She knows killing herself means she resurrects. But no… the major resurrection hub was destroyed… but maybe final five don’t rez like the others. Oh, hell, I don’t know!

10:40 – Lee mourns over Dualla’s sheet-covered dead body. Adama finds him and they wonder what the hell Dualla was smoking. “I don’t frakkin know, ” says Adama. Alone with Dualla, Adama asks, “What did you do?” as he looks at her under the sheet.

Um, it’s pretty obvious what she did. She blew her pretty head off.

Adama storms through the halls of Galactica demanding a loaded sidearm from a nearby soldier. People are all fighting in the halls, garbage is strewn about, the words, “FRAK EARTH” are spray painted on the walls. I expect someone to start singing, “I’d move heaven and Earth to get outta Skid Roooow!”

Adama staggers into Tigh’s quarters drunk. “Sit down, Cylon!” They’re gonna have a heart-to-heart. Ohh, it’s on like Donkey Kong! Adama wonders if Tigh was programmed to be his friend. Adama starts shit-talking Tigh’s dead wife, Ellen. He says she was whore banging half the fleet cause she must have sensed that something was wrong with Tigh. Hmm, maybe. I just think she was that kinda whore. But, whatevs. Tigh threatens to shoot Adama in the head till he realizes that’s what Adama wants. He tells him to man up like Dualla, and do it himself. Atta Cylon!

10:52 – Lee changes the fleet count on the whiteboard to reflect Dualla’s death. Starbuck enters to tell him about the signal and finding her own dead body, but before she can, he tells her about Dualla. She figures finding out that one girl you used to screw is dead is enough for one night and keeps her news to herself.

Adama orders Gaeda to find the nearest star cluster. He’s blowing this dump called Earth. They call the Cylon base ship to see if their new allies want to ride shotgun. Adama gets on the horn and tells the fleet they’re leaving. He neglects to tell them that the 13th colony they idolized and followed to Earth were Cylons.

Back on Earth, Tigh tells everyone to get it together – they’re leaving in 15 minutes. D’Anna says she’s staying on Earth to die with her ancestors. It beats dying in the dark when Cavil (number 1) catches up with the traitorous Cylons. Tigh says he’s sticking with The Old Man (Adama) and he trusts him to find them a new home.

Tigh staggers out into the ocean … I guess to say goodbye? Who knows? Either way, he’s waist deep when he has a flashback to HIS time on Earth….

Chaos, people are screaming… someone is calling him, “Sol!” He finds his wife, Ellen, in some rubble. Nukes are going off in the distance.

“It’s okay,” she tells him, “It’s okay. Everything’s in place. We’ll be reborn. Again. Together.”

The nuke kills them.

It ends with Tigh in the water realizing that Ellen is the final Cylon!

Sonofabitch! I was wrong.

So, what don’t we know?

Where are the rest of the Cylons and how long before they catch up with the fleet and the rebel Cylons? Where the hell is Ellen? Tigh killed her on New Caprica when he found she was boffin’ Brother Cavil (number one) and giving the Cylons info in exchange for his release from a Cylon prison. Where would she resurrect? Where did the final five resurrect when they died 2,000 years ago? Did they design the other seven models? What up with Starbuck?! Why couldn’t she die? For real, I mean. I hate her. More, more, more.

What did you think?

College Chronicles: I Am a Student

Several people have asked that I write about my college experience and since I’m so psyched about this coming semester I will. Every Friday, the 2^nd blog of the day at BIOB.com will be a College Chronicle (thanks Chrissa!) instead of an entertainment blog. This works since I don’t have a show on Thursday nights that I review. At least, not until next season anyway.

First, back story for all the newbies:

I went back to school in 2007. I applied for my Associate’s in Journalism. It has taken longer than 2 years for several reasons. For one, I had to take a placement test since as a non-traditional student it would stand to reason that I’d been out of school awhile. I scored excellently on my reading/writing entrance exam, and on my math? Not so much. So, I had to take two “learning support” math classes, or as I affectionately dubbed them, “Ree-Ree Math.” Those two math classes didn’t go towards my GPA. Which sucks ’cause I got A’s in both. During my first semester they also mistakenly told me to take a “Choices for Life” class which I didn’t need. When I figured it out about a week or so into the semester and dropped it, it was too late to pick up anything else.

Then, there are four levels of foreign language. I need the final two for a Journalism degree. Unfortunately, since I wasn’t fresh outta high school I couldn’t just jump into level 3 Spanish; I had to take levels 1 and 2 first. Now, that’s five slots where I could have been taking classes towards my major. Also, I took off two summer semesters to be home with Kali while she was out of school, and last semester since I’d just given birth two weeks prior to it starting, I only took one class.

After this semester I only need a creative writing class and another journalism (Features Writing), and I’m done. Hopefully, both will be offered either online or in the evening. Then I’m taking advantage of my school’s transfer agreements with several 4-year universities which state that they will accept anyone from my college as long as they graduate with a certain GPA (varies by school.) I’ll be attending UGA at Athens to get my BA in Journalism with a focus on either newspaper or magazine reporting.

Back story over.

Now, I’m taking three online classes; Biology, the accompanying lab, and Spanish 2002 (4^th level), and two in-class courses; Basic Newswriting and Intro. To Mass Communications.

I should point out now that I believe going back to school was the best thing I’ve done for myself next to marrying Donny and having my children. Since I’ve been taking all online courses since spring 2007, I’d forgotten the thrill I get from participating in a classroom setting with an instructor and other students. I also forgot how annoying it can be since most of the students are young and dumb, ask stupid questions, and think class time is for sharing their limited and irrelevant life stories.

Before every semester I buy fresh supplies. Every semester. Each class gets its own notebook and folder for hand-outs and homework. I buy highlighters, pens, pencils (even if I’m not taking math or science), and post-its. I get a fresh day planner to track when assignments are due. Even though I’ve been bent over and raped at the campus bookstore more times than I can count, I still get a thrill out of buying new textbooks each semester. I love going over a new syllabus and seeing what’s in store for me each week and I get a sense of accomplishment highlighting over every completed week and assignment. Yes, I’m a nerd.

I haven’t done anything in my Biology class yet, so there’s not much to share there. I did look over the syllabus for the lab and some of the other documents she has posted on WebCT (or iCollege) and noticed there’s some sort of field trip planned. Um, I am so not a field trip person. And from the looks of this one there’s a boat involved (I don’t swim) and some kind of hike (I don’t hike) and touching of sea life (I don’t do animals… especially wet ones.) Hopefully, by the time this trip rolls around I’ll be in better shape and more jazzed about it.

I’ve not yet done anything for Spanish, but I’m a little nervous. I took level 3 Spanish more than a year ago and I’m beyond rusty. And it’s conversational Spanish so she kinda frowns on even writing in English (that’s what I DO!) Just like when I took level 3 Spanish online, twice I’ll have to record myself with another student having a conversation in Spanish and submit it for review. It’s not so bad because the program they use allows me to do this with a microphone on my laptop, butt ass naked if I desire, and not have to actually meet with the other student.

Now, on to the good stuff!

You guys already know that I was ten minutes late to my first journalism class, Basic Newswriting, on Tuesday. (I was five minutes later last night. Grrr!) I’d totally miscalculated traffic, how big the campus was, and how horrendous parking would be. I was not the only one late, just the latest, as the instructor said, “We’re gonna have to do something about this time,” when I walked in.

MOR-TI-FIED.
Thankfully, he didn’t say it in a douchey way so I just apologized and took the first seat I could find. Mr. H. started explaining that he’s been a journalist for over 30 years, and has been published over 4,000 times. He’s currently an editor for a magazine geared towards the construction industry. He told us that we would do so much writing in that class that it might very well be more writing than any of us have written in our lives. He obviously doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.

Mr. H. is one of those instructors that not only knows their subject, but enjoys it and even more importantly, he enjoys teaching it. I literally got teary-eyed when he was explaining that we were going to learn how to find news, organize it, and write about it. He explained that he would take everything we’ve learned about writing since the third grade, toss it away, and teach us how to write like reporters. This is what I’d been waiting for! It made college algebra, pre-calculus, public speaking, and every other class that caused me anxiety when I signed up, completely worth it.

“News can happen any time,” he warned, “In fact, as your editor I need you to write 300 words on you registering for this class… in third person. Your deadline is 15 minutes. We’re holding the presses. Go!”

Everyone looked around in confusion for a moment, but once we realized he was serious, it was on! I loved it. Some people blanched at having to come up with 300 words. 300 words for me would be a short blog. I let loose. It was exciting and fun. After that exercise he suggested that we go out and get an AP style manual and informed us of our two big projects for the semester.

One is a group project where we’ll actually put on a news program and the other is the opportunity to interview an actual professional reporter. Anyone we want from TV, newspaper, or magazine. He said that in past semesters students have interviewed local people as well as people from major cable news networks like CNN. Mr. H. told us that they usually don’t say no when contacted, and that the worst that will happen is that our calls or inquiries aren’t returned. I can handle that. I have a short list of 3 people. Two national and one local. The first? Chris Matthews, of course.

My next class of the night is also taught by Mr. H.: Intro to Mass Communications. It’s a very interesting class. So far, we’ve looked at the evolution of media and the responsibility of it. My homework this weekend is to interview a senior citizen about how media has changed in their lifetime and then type up a report on it. I’ll be bugging my 82 year-old Grandma on Sunday. Oh, and my homework for the basic newswriting class is to get today’s paper (Atlanta Journal & Constitution) and measure the column inches of each article in the first section, note relevance and prominence, and discuss our findings.

You guys, I am so ridiculously inspired it’s not funny. After BN class last night, I was one of the last ones to leave (I was in no rush as the next class started in 15 minutes and I knew he wouldn’t beat me to that one!) as I gathered up my laptop. Mr. H. asked if I thought I’d be overwhelmed by the writing.

“Oh, no. That’s what I do. I write everyday. No offense, but I’m gonna kick this class’ butt.”

And I totally meant it.

P.S. I hope it goes without saying that just like the Friday weight loss blogs, I encourage you all to share your school stories, frustrations, and aspirations, etc.

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