Welcome!

Most likely everyone reading this was a subscriber to Blog It Out, Bitch over on Myspace. Let me start by saying how much I appreciate you taking the time to check me out in my new home. Hopefully, you’ll stay awhile. And by stay awhile I mean you’ll come everyday to read my blogs. Several times a day in fact.

If you’ve followed the directions left on Myspace you’ve already read the About section of this site and possibly checked out the Who’s Who directory. Now, I want to tell you what you can expect here at Blog It Out, Bitch.

On the main page you’ll notice the Features box with the rotating images. That box will always feature the five most recent blogs on this site. Clicking on an image will take you to the corresponding blog.

Each day you can expect two new blogs. One will be a television review (The L Word on Mondays, 24 on Tuesdays, Lost on Thursdays, etc.) and the other a regular old slice of life Nina blog you’ve come to expect from reading me all those years on Myspace. Those blogs may fall under any of the categories listed on the About page (Blog It Out, Bitch, BIOBaby, Mommy Mondays, Fiction, etc.) The only time you can expect three blogs in one day is if for some reason two of the shows I review are aired on the same night, then you’d get two reviews and one regular blog.

As you get acquainted with my new digs I need two favors. One, go back to the main page and register your email address to receive a daily digest informing you of new content on BIOB. Two, spend some time over the next few weeks checking out the nifty archives. There you will find some of your old favorite blogs and maybe some new gems you missed along the way. Leave comments, let me know you’re here. If you see errors in blogs, please feel free to point it out either in a comment or by emailing me at nina@blogitoutb.com. Any blog you see here will soon be gone from Myspace forever.

For those of you following Sharing Space, the first two chapters have been posted under the fiction section. I’ll be rolling out the remaining chapters slowly to give new readers a chance to catch up. It might also be good for you original readers to use that time to refresh your memory.

Starting on January 1st there’ll be a new blog feature under Health titled, “Too Cute To Be This Fat.” Follow my journey to lose baby weight. That’s bound to be good for a few laughs.

And please have a little patience. I think I did a pretty good job of transferring over the lion’s share of my good blogs from Myspace, but I’m sure I missed a few. As I come across them, I’ll be adding them here with their original post dates. They will never appear in the features section and hopefully, they won’t appear in your daily digest, but they might.

Did I say two favors? I meant three. Finally, I need for you to tell a friend, co-worker, or family member (or five) about this site, and then tell them to tell someone… or five. I could use the company.

Thanks for reading,

N.

(Please note: The e-mail form is working correctly now.)

Who’s Who

Some of the many people you’ll encounter at Blog It Out, Bitch:

Donny – My long suffering husband. He works hard so I don’t have to. I suspect he only puts up with me because I make him laugh and I’m pretty good in bed. Everyone is waiting for the day when he’ll go “white boy crazy” and kill me in my sleep. Including me.

Kali – Our nine-year-old daughter. She’s smart, funny, and incredibly kind. She’s also drop dead gorgeous. She’s a Disney Channel star waiting to happen, but less annoying and without the whole drugged-up, washed-out, has-been future ahead of her.

Jack – Our newborn baby boy. He’s too young to know what a crazy household he was born into. Born in August of 2008 he’s already displaying a sweet disposition (from Donny) and sense of humor (from me.) He’s also beautiful. Like his Mama.

Sophie/Moon – My best friend since I was 12 and in junior high. We bonded over Guns n’ Roses and To Kill a Mockingbird. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and two small children. She knows where the bodies are buried.

Richard/Tralfaz – Richard and I met on Myspace over two years ago (profile name: Tralfaz.) He’s one of few people that can put up with me, but I suspect he only does so because I’m one of the rare people alive that watches about as much television as he does. Richard is a magazine editor that resides in New Jersey.

Mike/Armand Assante’s Left Ventricle and Bette/Wonder Bitch – I met Mike and Bette on Myspace a few years ago. For a short time we had an internet radio show which was pretty much us making each other laugh for an hour. Mike and Bette are dating and live in Orlando, Florida.

Tara/Boozy Irish Floozie – Tara, another Myspace friend, lives in New Jersey as well. Tara is like me, but white. I suspect she doesn’t drink nearly as much as she lets on.

Other oft mentioned folk include my father and stepmother who are both retired NYC police detectives now living in Atlanta, my mother in North Carolina (also ex-NYPD), and various siblings so large in number that even I sometimes can’t name them all.

BIOBaby: Engage Him!

When Jack first came home he would cry every time we changed his diaper. After about a week or so he understood that what were doing was a relatively quick and painless process that left him feeling more comfortable when we were done. We’ve now noticed over the past few weeks that he seems to actually “help” us when we’re changing him.

I’ll unbutton his onesie and lift it over his belly. He’ll then clutch the clothing with both hands and lift it a bit higher. When I undo his soiled diaper, he lefts his legs as if to say, “Make sure you get it all. Thanks!” The only time he cries now is a few times that Donny changes him. And last night, while on the phone with Kevin, I realized what Donny is doing wrong on the few times that he cries.

“Engage him, Donny!”

He just looked at me like I was crazy.

I also talk to Jack. It’s what I did with Kali and she talked early, often, and smartly. When I pick Jack up it’s, “Come to Mama. That’s Mama’s big boy.” When Donny enters a room it’s, “There’s Dada. Say hi to Dada.” When he’s playing with Kali I say, “Is that your sister? Tell Kali you love her.” I’m trying to associate Mama, Dada, and sister or Kali with me, Donny, and kali respectively. When I’m about to give him his pacifier I say, “Where the bo bo go? Where the bo bo go? Oh, there the bo bo go!” It helps that it ryhmes.

When I change his diaper I’m smiling at him and talking, “Can I change your butt? Did you make stink-stink? Let Mama change your butt.” he laughs and tries to talk back and before he knows it, I’m done. Clean butt. He doesn’t cry every time Donny changes him, just when Donny is changing him and not talking to him.

After I got off the phone I explained this to Donny.

“You have to engage him. Talk to him. Make eye contact. Engage him. Otherwise he feels taken advantage of. You just exposed him. You can’t be exposin’ somebody’s balls and not engaging them. That’s just rude.”

“Fine. You can engage me later.”

“You are so nasty.”

Never Look a Gift TiVo in the Mouth

It seems the rumors of the death of one of my TiVos were greatly exaggerated. About a year ago the TiVo in the family room restarted after an update and deleted everything I had recorded on there. I assumed it was on its way out and prepared for the worst, but it is (knock on wood) still kicking. One would think I’d have learned a valuable lesson in not keeping the TiVos piled with shows as you never know when one might die. One would be wrong.

A little over a week ago I transfered and watched some episodes of Boston Legal from my study TiVo to my bedroom one. I went to bed and when I woke up at 4am to feed Jack, the TiVo wouldn’t boot up. I lost 10 episodes of this last season of The Shield, 5 episodes of The Closer, 1 episode of Prison Break, and some other stuff. That same day I went online to eBay and purchased another 40-hour machine.

$34

Well, it finally arrived yesterday. The auction info stated that the previous owners only had the TiVo for a year, but upgraded because they needed greater recording capacity. The TiVo was photographed with, and came in, it’s original packaging and included the remote, cables, and instruction manual. I was happy with my purchase. Then, as it turns out, they included extra stuff like a splitter, IR cables, etc.

As Donny is taking it out of the box he says, “This is an 80-hour machine.”

I do a happy dance when I realize that he’s right. If you check eBay people are getting well over $100 for 80-hour machines. I completely got over. I noticed that the people before me had a shitload of The Andy Griffith Show episodes on there as well as a bunch of stuff from The Discovery Channel and The History Channel. We wiped that TiVo clean, reformatted it, and set it up to network with our other TiVos and program our shows.

So, about an hour ago I was on the phone with my Dad telling him about my luck. I had the laptop in front of me and I pull up the auction to leave positive feedback and be sure that it was listed as a 40-hour machine. It was. We start joking around.

“Daddy, they had an 80-hour machine. How much more capacity did they need? What did they need it for?”

“Apparently a lot of Andy Griffith. Maybe they needed more room for Mayberry, RFD.”

“From their choice of shows, I’m guessing they were kinda old. Maybe they didn’t realize what they had.”

So Donny walks in the room and he goes, “I know why they thought they had a 40-hour machine… they had it set to record at the highest quality and the settings read that that meant they only had 40 hours available at any given time.”

I relay this to my Dad who suddenly busts out laughing. He’s laughing so hard I can barely understand what he’s trying to say.

“I’m… I’m… about to get vulgar.”

He’s stuttering and stuff…

“Who are you? Sarah Palin? Spit it out.”

He tells me that this whole thing reminded him of an old Richard Pryor bit where he’s arguing with his girlfriend and she puts him out.

“Fine”, he huffs, “I’m gonna go get me some new pussy.”

And the girlfriend responds, “If you had two more inches of dick, you’d have new pussy right here.”

I lost it. My Dad says, “They talking ’bout they wanted more capacity. If they knew what they were doing, they’d have more capacity.”

Needless to say, I left them VERY positive feedback.

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