BIOBaby: Engage Him!

When Jack first came home he would cry every time we changed his diaper. After about a week or so he understood that what were doing was a relatively quick and painless process that left him feeling more comfortable when we were done. We’ve now noticed over the past few weeks that he seems to actually “help” us when we’re changing him.

I’ll unbutton his onesie and lift it over his belly. He’ll then clutch the clothing with both hands and lift it a bit higher. When I undo his soiled diaper, he lefts his legs as if to say, “Make sure you get it all. Thanks!” The only time he cries now is a few times that Donny changes him. And last night, while on the phone with Kevin, I realized what Donny is doing wrong on the few times that he cries.

“Engage him, Donny!”

He just looked at me like I was crazy.

I also talk to Jack. It’s what I did with Kali and she talked early, often, and smartly. When I pick Jack up it’s, “Come to Mama. That’s Mama’s big boy.” When Donny enters a room it’s, “There’s Dada. Say hi to Dada.” When he’s playing with Kali I say, “Is that your sister? Tell Kali you love her.” I’m trying to associate Mama, Dada, and sister or Kali with me, Donny, and kali respectively. When I’m about to give him his pacifier I say, “Where the bo bo go? Where the bo bo go? Oh, there the bo bo go!” It helps that it ryhmes.

When I change his diaper I’m smiling at him and talking, “Can I change your butt? Did you make stink-stink? Let Mama change your butt.” he laughs and tries to talk back and before he knows it, I’m done. Clean butt. He doesn’t cry every time Donny changes him, just when Donny is changing him and not talking to him.

After I got off the phone I explained this to Donny.

“You have to engage him. Talk to him. Make eye contact. Engage him. Otherwise he feels taken advantage of. You just exposed him. You can’t be exposin’ somebody’s balls and not engaging them. That’s just rude.”

“Fine. You can engage me later.”

“You are so nasty.”